…Meanwhile, in Bizzaro World….

“Authorities have banned males under 18 years old from coffeehouses in a bid to preserve their morals and stop them from smoking,” the Arab News reports.

“Officials from the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice will mount surprise raids on cafes and arrest anyone violating the ban, Othman Al-Othman, the head of the commission in Riyadh, told Al-Jazirah newspaper.”

Cafe owners had also been specifically instructed not to allow under-18s to smoke nargilehs, or water pipes, a time-honored custom for thousands of Saudi nationals and expatriates that has already been restricted to city outskirts.

The phenomenon of under-18s visiting cafes could ‘negatively affect the morals of youth and lead them to start smoking,’ Othman warned.

The commission has a force of more than 3,500 men who patrol the streets to enforce moral values. The officials can order the arrest and detention of violators or those who resist their instructions.

So, just to recap: Killing Jews and flying airplanes into skyscrapers glutted with innocent civilians, good; smoking a water pipe and drinking a cup o’ joe, morally repugnant.

‘K.

Reached for comment, the Arab street simply shrugged and asked if it could bum an American Spirit off of me, then tried to sell me a fake Rolex…