A homeowner said Friday that whoever stole the baby Jesus from his manger scene was disrespectful by replacing it with an empty beer can. Bob Chooljain said that the Jesus figure was stolen from the manger scene on Wednesday night.
Chooljain said that he made the nativity scene more than three decades ago with his children.
“It’s something we kind of did together,” he said.
“You just wonder, what was in the person’s mind that actually did that? What was the reason for it? Why leave the beer can? What’s the connection?” said Chooljain, doesn’t want to press charges.
Surely this is an allusion to St. Paul’s testimony that the Son of God emptied himself to take on the flesh as a means to our redemption.
Beer is just like Jesus, Dan. It’s proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.*
“Drink from it, all of you; for this is My Bud…”
…was disrespectful by replacing it with an empty beer can.
I’ll say. You steal a man’s Jesus, you gotta leave at least a six pack.
’Malt does more than Milton can
to justify God’s way to Man.’
A.E. Houseman
Hey. anyone else smell brimstone around Collins? No?
When I was in high school, Knickerbocker beer had a mini-keg (about a gallon) which you could conveniently buy in nearby New York State, where the drinking age was also conveniently 18.
Well, I didn’t steal the baby Jesus (this was before the war on Christianity, and a creche was still set up on Town land in the middle of our village). but I did put that empty gallon of Knickerbocker in the savior’s hands, and arranged them so that it appeared that he was taking a long, satisfying pull on that beauty.
So, my question is, how many “Hail Mary” gizmos do I have to say to turn my life around 40 years later? If I say enough of them, will all these open sores go away?
Just wondering…
That, and Bactine. Lots of Bactine.
While we’re on the topic, I’ve got a problem perhaps your readers can help me with:
A week or so back I was walking across the parking lot at the local Safeway when I spied a small plastic figure on the ground. Out of curiosity I picked it up to find that it’s a dashboard Jesus, much the worse for wear for having been run over several times. It seemed a bit blasphemous to chunk it in the trash on my way into the store so I put it in my pocket. Now what do I do with it?
What is the proper means of disposal for unwanted icons? I’d send it to Mr. Chooljain, but I’m not sure how he’d cope with a plastic Jesus with tread marks on its back, given his recent trauma. The body is in pretty bad shape, but it has a long wire sticking out of the base of the neck. Would it be okay to use it as a bong poker? What should I do?