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Commenter Profile: semanticleo [Dan Collins]

We have a homegrown hero in our midst.  I blush to report that I’ve been applying the epithet to military men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan, now that semanticleo has visited the phone booth and revealed his true superhero identity, responding to a question from our host:

“What do you do?”

I topple giants masquerading as windmills.  I cook meaty meals of thought provocation and balance the scales of insular astignatism.  I am a champion of the underdog and always play the devil’s advocate. Eschewing praise and pep-rally posts, I dismantle the joists which coddle the self-satisfied and the smug.  I am Blankman.

Geez.  Dismantler of coddling joists.

I’m not sure why, but it puts me in mind of Lewis Carroll’s send up of Wordsworth’s “Resolution and Independence”:

The Aged Aged Man

by Lewis Carroll

I’ll tell thee everything I can;

There’s little to relate.

I saw an aged aged man,

A-sitting on a gate.

“Who are you, aged man?” I said,

“And how is it you live?”

And his answer trickled through my head

Like water through a sieve.

He said, “I look for butterflies

That sleep among the wheat:

I make them into mutton-pies,

And sell them in the street.

I sell them unto men,” he said,

“Who sail on stormy seas;

And that’s the way I get my bread –

A trifle; if you please.”

But I was thinking of a plan

To dye one’s whiskers green,

And always use so large a fan

That they could not be seen.

So, having no reply to give

To what the old man said,

I cried, “Come, tell me how you live!”

And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:

He said, “I go my ways,

And when I find a mountain-rill,

I set it in a blaze;

And thence they make a stuff they call

Rowland’s Macassar-Oil –

Yet twopence-halfpenny is all

They give me for my toil.”

But I was thinking of a way

To feed oneself on batter,

And so go on from day to day

Getting a little fatter.

I shook him well from side to side,

Until his face was blue:

“Come, tell me how you live,” I cried,

“And what it is you do!”

He said, “I hunt for haddocks’ eyes

Among the heather bright,

And work them into waistcoat buttons

In the silent night.

And these I do not sell for gold

Or coin of silvery shine,

But for a copper halfpenny,

And that will purchase nine.

“I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,

Or set limed twigs for crabs;

I sometimes search the grassy knolls

For wheels of hansom-cabs.

And that’s the way” (he gave a wink)

“By which I get my wealth –

And very gladly will I drink

Your Honour’s noble health.”

I heard him then, for I had just

Completed my design

To keep the Menai bridge from rust

By boiling it in wine.

I thanked him much for telling me

The way he got his wealth,

But chiefly for his wish that he

Might drink my noble health.

And now, if e’er by chance I put

My fingers into glue,

Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot

Into a left-hand shoe,

Or if I drop upon my toe

A very heavy weight,

I weep, for it reminds me so

Of that old man I used to know –

Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow,

Whose hair was whiter than the snow,

Whose face was very like a crow,

With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,

Who seemed distracted with his woe,

Who rocked his body to and fro,

And muttered mumblingly and low,

As if his mouth were full of dough,

Who snorted like a buffalo –

That summer evening long ago

A-sitting on a gate.

103 Replies to “Commenter Profile: semanticleo [Dan Collins]”

  1. semanticleo says:

    Just so YellowStain doesn’t feel inferior;

    I also change poopy diapers.

    BTW;

    Please don’t misinterpret a short pause in the course of the day as a retreat.  I have a birthday party to attend

  2. Dan Collins says:

    Don’t worry.  We’re all crappy hampers.

  3. cranky-d says:

    Be careful about elevating trolls to a position outside the comments.  It makes certain people unhappy.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Sorry, cranky-d, but this is a rich vein of comedy gold, and I wanted to stake our claim.

  5. BoZ says:

    astignatism

    That makes two references to joists—though this one is concealed in a Joycean pun masquerading as an illiteracy.

    It’s a carpenter.

    I am Blankman.

    It’s this guy or Jesus, then.

    I vote Jesus.

  6. Dan Collins says:

    Well, BoZ, that may be, and I’ll probably go to hell for finding this kind of thing as amusing as I do, because I am pitiless and remorseless where my jollies are concerned, but the guy deserves the Dan Award.

  7. cranky-d says:

    Dan, since I’ve done it myself, I’m certainly not a detractor of the methodology.  This kinda thing deserves exposure.

  8. Dan Collins says:

    cranky-d,

    Yeah, but honestly, was yours as funny as this?  Because if it is, I want the link.

  9. burrhog says:

    …shaving pet escargot at dawn

    work is the third secret of Fatima…

    Is this you Miss Cleo?

  10. cranky-d says:

    I guess sometimes I’m not clear.  I’m the one who dragged the balloon fence comments out onto the front page.  A little bit later a few people suggested, without pointing fingers exactly, that the trolls should remain in the comments and not be given exposure.

    So, my first comment to this post was me being a whiny little bitch about feeling slighted by a few others for what I did.

    As far as pure, concentrated, unadulterated funny, this elevation of a comment outshines just about anything I’ve seen.

  11. Dan Collins says:

    I disagree, cranky.  It’s good, but it’s no balloon fence.

  12. I’ve got an idea. Rather than giving the trolls the attention they crave, rather than elevating their mouth-breathing above unprinted letters to the editor, where it belongs…

    Ban them.

    Just deny them access to the forum they want to take over. Hell, it’s arguable they’ve ALREADY taken over PW, because you guys keep stroking them off.

  13. cranky-d says:

    The strength of the balloon fence lies in the growth of the idea through the interaction of the commenters and the brilliant originator of the idea, along with said orginator’s refusal to waver from his vision.  Some call him stupid, ignorant, and a damn fool, but he’ll carry this idea forward no matter the odds, or at least until something bright and shiny distracts him again.

    On the other hand, we have the comment which inspired this post you have made.  Sematicleo has demonstrated a capacity for self-aggrandizment which may only be exceeded by a highly elevated sense of self worth.  In only a few sentences she describes the distilled essence of the lefty mindset; she is a person fighting for the little guy while remaining in an intellectual ivory tower. 

    I imagine her abilities at discourse constantly amaze her.  The fact that we are not amazed or even fazed is due to our failings, not hers.

  14. Dan Collins says:

    Robert–

    Are you questioning my judgment?  Take a number, please.

  15. heet says:

    You totally BURNED that chick!  High five me, dude!

  16. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I topple giants masquerading as windmills.  I cook meaty meals of thought provocation and balance the scales of insular astignatism.  I am a champion of the underdog and always play the devil’s advocate.

    Eschewing praise and pep-rally posts, I dismantle the joists which coddle the self-satisfied and the

    smug.  I am Blankman.

    Hmm. 

    Not that I’m terribly interested in parsing effluvium attempting to camouflage itself as warrior poetry, but what the hell.  I’ve got a couple minutes to kill in between change of possession.

    First, let me just say this:  I’m flattered that, contextually, I am now a giant masquerading as a windmill. Which means, of course, that I am far greater than I try to appear—or, I’m filled with humility, according to you.

    Either that, or you are admitting to being hopelessly quixotic.  Your choice. 

    Personally, I like to topple windmills masquerading as polemical wordsmiths. Witness, for instance, this comment.  Which of course argues against the humility reading.

    Second:  “I cook meaty meals of thought provocation and balance the scales of insular astignatism.”

    And you mix metaphors, too.  But—and I hate to say this—I fear you are giving yourself too much credit.  I mean, what is so thought-provoking about calling someone YellowStain or a diaper changer and trying to circumvent his ideas by attacking what you perceive to be his financial or domestic situation?  Isn’t that a kissing cousin to the “meaty meals of thought provocation” that certain southern Dems used to hurl at civil rights agitators when, in response to the message that a man should not be judged by the color of his skin but by the content of his character, these social sauciers of a previous age would remind the speaker that s/he is nothing but a lowly nigger, or, perhaps worse, a nigger lover?

    Hardly a way to “balance the scales of insular astignatism [?],” unless of course you have a watermelon or an empty diaper pale on the other end.

    Third, were you truly “a champion of the underdog,” you’d probably “eschew” not just praise (which, let’s face it:  you don’t have to do much in the way of eschewing in that area, I’m guessing), but also the lobbing of juvenile personal insults aimed at trying to emasculate an opponent who is quite confident in both his manhood and his life choices, despite his having taken a position in society that is quite outside the norms celebrated in gender stereotyping. 

    For the record, Yes, I’d rather take my son to the playground everyday than grade student papers, even if it means changing diapers for another couple of months (note:  some children eventually learn to go to the bathroom by themselves.  That you seem not to understand this is rather suggestive, and has me wondering if you’re still crapping in a super absorbant crotch guard with Elmo emblazoned on its front).  So what’s your point?

    And ask yourself this:  why do you feel the need always to “play the devil’s advocate”?  I can of course see the wisdom in doing so occasionally.  But always?  That’s nothing but intellectual masturbation, and doesn’t recommend you as a man of erudition near so much as you seem to assume.  And believe it or not, there are those of us who are happy to go through life without constantly slipping around in your drizzlings.

    But I’ll be kind and write that off as your following a biological imperative.  After all, if no one is willingly accepting of your ejaculations, your best bet for your seed to find purchase is to drop it everywhere and hope it insinuates itself into someone’s reproductive tract, however unwanted.

    “semanticleo”?  More like “semanticrapist”.

    And finally, given that you don’t have a site that I’m aware of—or that anyone reads—avoiding pep-rally posts is rather on the same order of accomplishment as my avoiding my period.

    So the next time you’re dismantling those joists that coddle the self-satisfied and the

    smug, you might start with your own.  But not before you ask yourself if joists really ever “coddle.”

    I am Blankman.

    Finally.  Something we can agree on.

  17. cranky-d says:

    Heet is feeling a little j-e-a-l-o-u-s from not getting enough attention.

  18. burrhog says:

    I hear a Rome conjured in sycophance even by those who deny us our pie. The pie that I’m thinking of flutters with turtledoves baked to supply a brass ground….*

    At least he’s pro pie. I guess…

  19. heet says:

    I like to topple windmills masquerading as polemical wordsmiths. Witness, for instance, this comment.

    lobbing of juvenile personal insults aimed at trying to emasculate an opponent

    That’s nothing but intellectual masturbation

    Christ, your head is so far up your own ass you can’t see the irony in this bullshit.  Great entertainment, yet so very sad.

  20. heet says:

    Heet is feeling a little j-e-a-l-o-u-s from not getting enough attention.

    Nah, I only stop by here when I need a little pick me up.  Knowing you arrogant tough-guys are utterly marginalized makes me sleep better at night.

    Besides, I think most of the trolls here are actually JG.  He needs the traffic, ya know.

  21. McGehee says:

    Christ, your head is so far up your own ass you can’t see the irony in this bullshit.

    Oh, I think the irony is obvious to everyone here but you.

  22. See? You’ve attracted another troll by paying attention to one.

  23. Dan Collins says:

    Knowing you arrogant tough-guys are utterly marginalized makes me sleep better at night.

    He wrote in the margin.

  24. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Arrogantly.

  25. Dan Collins says:

    Meanwhile, back at authentic tough-guy ranch:

    The Bad Days Will End

    The bad days will end

    and because we will end them

    I say we put all our money together

    get a big bottle of sangria

    and just bash somebody in the fucking face with it

    –Dana Ward

  26. Dan Collins says:

    I don’t know about you guys, but I object strenuously to the waste of alcohol.

  27. thor says:

    I have a real bum’s eye for this sort’a play.  With semanticleo there’s less of the more you really need to know. It’s all there, a cool breeze coaxing your privates, a couple a pulls and your done.  Whizzing free amongst windmills. 

    Rev up the gang signs.  Cleo’s is proper breezing with a two-finger flash.  Ok-cool if you ask me, moreso since it’s Ann Coulter-types that are today’s neo-underdoggies.

    Ann’s temples, quite big for a skinny chick, anyone else notice?

  28. Lost Dog says:

    Oh my goodness, Rectumcleo! Words for the sake of words! 

    Here’s a new one: nitwitty.

  29. Pablo says:

    Trooth to fucking power, baby. I got that shit right here.

  30. thor says:

    The bad days will end

    and because we will end them

    I say we put all our money together

    get a big bottle of sangria

    and just bash somebody in the fucking face with it

    –Dana Ward

    The smashing righteousness of a left hook.  Good stuff.

  31. cranky-d says:

    Eh, heet’s been around here before.  No new trolls yet.

  32. Jeff Goldstein says:

    heet is one of those disaffected Texans who likes to affect bemusement. Makes him feel all outlawy.

    Forgive him.  It’s tough living in a land of cowboys when all you have to recommend you is a beret and a Jetta.

  33. BJTexs says:

    What is the webbing that binds our dear trolls heet, Balloon Fence Boy and Semantics-Clueless

    Control of Topic.

    Actus we get. He will snipe at whatever is posted to make his $1.98 observations designed to tweak and prod the collecive ‘Thug thugs.

    heet is a chest thumper of the rightious Scottish clan category, imagining himself as a Braveheart extra standing over the twitching corpse of English/Neocons as they bleed their last upon the the killing fields of the 2006 election. The inconvenient fact that we won’t just expire, bubbling reddish flecs of foam, enrages him as we won’t have the good grace to be stamped in defeat to a further subterranean level of absolute quiet. (either a Kos Kiddie or a want-to-be.) He will continue to lift his kilt and, french like, fart in our general direction.

    Semantics-Clueless fashions himself as the raging warrior poet, wading through the armed ranks of right wing morons with mighty faux samurai sword of goofy literary pretentions, assured in his own mind of the carnage that he has wrought with his self satisfied personal language hacking, unaware of the delicious, downright hilarious irony and farce that is the result of his polemics. He/she has the stunning but unfortunate transcendent talent to seek to be serious yet, like a school kid who takes a soccer ball kick to the groin, believes that his humanistic, t.s.eliot on acid screechings cut to the quick rather than the end result that the masses guffaw at the reflection of his misfortunate dementia.

    And, since writing in this over heeted style is about to cause a Grand Mal, we come to Balloon Fence Boy.

    Either stupid, ignorant in his leftist idealism, or delibrately provacatory. Whatever the category, side splitingly hilarious except when he is arguing military tactics with military professionals.

    BYW: provacatory? might be a made up word, but it fits so nana nana boo boo!

  34. BJTexs says:

    It’s tough living in a land of cowboys when all you have to recommend you is a beret and a Jetta.

    Dam you, Goldstein! Now I have to clean the notebook of Fresca!

    “Hey, cowjerk! Where can a guy get a decent hunk of Gouda around here?”

  35. heet says:

    Jeff can work a reverse lookup.  Whoopee.

    The thing about Texans is, we don’t like bullshit artists.  I’m not so sure your self-satisfied rhetoric would go over real well down here, big fella.

  36. 6Gun says:

    It’s tough living in a land of cowboys when all you have to recommend you is a beret and a Jetta.

    An apt metaphor for the entire tribe of trolls hanging around here.  Sold a bill of goods and too invested to admit it so they take up invented causes…and project them.  Agin all them damn majority cowboys and their slow-talkin’ ways. 

    And speaking of sad, heet, you should see the sheer adolescence of reality-based leftwing political self-martyrdom from over here.  It’s positively paranoid…although the stereotyping is actually pretty funny to see.  And it gets louder the more it fails, another entertainment bonus.

    Seriously, if the left could gin up a third the self-awareness that it claims to have invested in that special little narrow-minded reality it’s built itself, it might catch a clue.  That clue being that the left’s ability to reduce all its phantoms right down into that distinctive “reality-based” vacuum of reason naturally makes ‘em meaningless in the context of that thing it merely likes to call reality.  It’s not real.  It’s special “knowledge” where appearances conform reality to political expectation.

    The fact the left feels it needs to define itself as “reality-based” doesn’t say as much against its opponents as it thinks.  It says it’s still experimenting in mating the physical universe with its own rhetoric, experimenting with conforming that reality to a series of relative, political, prior expectations.  An illness, in other words. 

    And I’m learning that the harder you scratch a liberal the more they bleed.  That’s genuinely sad. 

    Sad because the harder you question a truly sane person, the clearer their convictions are seen and the more the questioner learns.  Not so much with the Left, huh?

  37. Rusty says:

    The thing about Texans is, we don’t like bullshit artists.

    Posted by heel

    I don’t know why not. They tolerate you, tough guy.

  38. Dan Collins says:

    The thing about Texans is, we don’t like bullshit artists.  I’m not so sure your self-satisfied rhetoric would go over real well down here, big fella.

    An’ if you an’ yer posse o’ Red State retards ain’ out o’ Austin by dawn, there’s gonna be consid’rable trouble.

  39. Farmer Joe says:

    The Aged Aged Man

    by Lewis Carroll

    Nicely relevant. How about this one:

    There’s a place in the world for the angry young man

    With his working class ties and his radical plans

    He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,

    He’s always at home with his back to the wall.

    And he’s proud of his scars and the battles he’s lost,

    And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on the cross-

    And he likes to be known as the angry young man.

    Give a moment or two to the angry young man,

    With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand.

    He’s been stabbed in the back, he’s been misunderstood,

    It’s a comfort to know his intentions are good.

    And he sits in a room with a lock on the door,

    With his maps and his medals laid out on the floor-

    And he likes to be known as the angry young man.

    I believe I’ve passed the age

    Of consciousness and righteous rage

    I found that just surviving was a noble fight.

    I once believed in causes too,

    I had my pointless point of view,

    And life went on no matter who was wrong or right.

    And there’s always a place for the angry young man,

    With his fist in the air and his head in the sand.

    And he’s never been able to learn from mistakes,

    So he can’t understand why his heart always breaks.

    But his honor is pure and his courage as well,

    And he’s fair and he’s true and he’s boring as hell-

    And he’ll go to the grave as an angry old man.

    There’s always a place for the angry young man

    With his working class ties and his radical plans

    He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,

    He’s always at home with his back to the wall.

    And he’s proud of his scars and the battles he’s lost,

    And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on the cross-

    And he likes to be known as the angry young man.

  40. heet says:

    6gun, are actual living people with lives supposed to read that shit?  Penning lengthy screeds on the internet about strawmen doesn’t seem like a very efficient way to further the “cause”, brother.  Maybe go out and enlist, eh?  Run for office?  Something.  “Unemployed Warblogger” on the ole’ resume doesn’t really have the zazz it used to.  That goes for all you guys.  Except the trolls who aren’t Jeff.

  41. BJTexs says:

    Lifts kilt, bends over…

  42. Dan Collins says:

    That goes for all you guys.  Except the trolls who aren’t Jeff.

    In other words, shut up everyone, except for me.  Dude, you give straw men a bad name: they have integrity.

  43. heet says:

    Forgive him.  It’s tough living in a land of cowboys when all you have to recommend you is a beret and a Jetta.

    Uh, huh….  I’m sure you’d be a big hit at the saloons down here when you regale the joint with “Tales of a stay-at-home-dad slash blog-impresario”.  You were also a lit professor or something, too, right?  I’d throw that in and really wow the yokels.

  44. Dan Collins says:

    I’d throw that in and really wow the yokels.

    Because they don’t dig the bullshit.  What’s your niche supposed to be, heet?  Maggot who complains about the bullshit?

  45. 6Gun says:

    Lifts kilt, bends over…

    Yep, that’s another way to put it.  LOL.

    heet, welcome to the idiot pool—line forms to the left (where none of ‘em are reading that unapproved shit.) We’ll leave a light on.

  46. Eschewing praise and pep-rally posts, I dismantle the joists which coddle the self-satisfied and the smug.  I am Blankman.

    Whaddya know?  Stephen King *did* have a real life model for Harold Lauder…

  47. 6Gun says:

    What’s your niche supposed to be, heet?

    So far it smells a lot like unapproved insights = bad.  Approved bullshit = good.  And conflicting your own social stereotypes all to hell = fine and dandy.

    I guess they’re not making Texans like they used to.  Oh, I’m sorry; was that out loud?

    tw: farm95

  48. Slartibartfast says:

    Zing!

  49. Dan Collins says:

    Ye Olde Authenticke Saloone

    Authentickiest Saloone in Alle of Tejas!

    Proprietor: heet

    Realisticke Folke Onlye Allowed!

  50. cranky-d says:

    Hey, heet, come up with something really good ‘n stupid and you might, just might, get promoted to the front page.  You never know.

    Onward, bold warrior!!

  51. 6Gun says:

    Ye Olde Authenticke Saloone

    Aye, y’wee fairie.  Go try on one’a yer mother’s brassieres! 

    I once knew this guy—seriously—who could do an Irish and hip-hop accent simultaneously.  Quite possibly the funniest thing I’d ever heard.

    Maybe he could layer it with a drawl, give heet a call, and completely mess with what purports to be his mind.

  52. I’m not so sure your self-satisfied rhetoric would go over real well down here, big fella.

    personally? I love it. but then, one could argue I only live in Texas.

  53. heet says:

    Hey, heet, come up with something really good ‘n stupid and you might, just might, get promoted to the front page.  You never know.

    Onward, bold warrior!!

    Hey, maybe I’ll warrant a post at your own blog that links back to a post at this blog with a title like “I totally schooled a guy on the internet!”.  That would be sweet!  Pathetic, but still sweet.

  54. ahem says:

    Semantic: Pleased as I am to see that you no longer feel a complusive need to insert random line breaks in your idiot screeds–that, or someone has finally succeeded in showing you how to use the keyboard–I would strongly suggest you eschew attempting to ‘dismantle joists’ around here.

    It merely produces the effect of smiling with a mouth full of intellectual poppy seeds stuck in your teeth, and it pisses off the dog.

  55. cranky-d says:

    I have a sad little blog that I haven’t bothered posting to lately except to point to posts here when I make them.  There’s a real news flash, heet.

    You’ll have to try harder than that.  I know you want the attention.

  56. Jeff Goldstein says:

    heet believes Texas consists of nothing but UT-Austin and a ditch outside Crawford.

    All hat, no cattle, heet.  And even then, the hat is a little black felt number with no brim and an itsy bitsy tassle on top.

    Bet the “yokels” love them some of that.

    Incidentally, I’m sure none of you missed it, but once again a loud-mouthed troll, finding himself being whipped and folded like a holiday merangue, resorts to the “JEFF IS UNEMPLOYED AND CHANGES DIAPERS” thrust. 

    How…pedestrian

  57. cranky-d says:

    I never did figure out what’s wrong with being a stay-at-home dad.  Except for the changing diapers part (which I object to because of the ick factor, no other reason), it sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.  A writer can work any time.

    Obviously, the canard is supposed to make you feel less manly or something. What’s more manly than taking care of your kids yourself rather than hiring it out to someone else?  No one will care more about your child than you and your wife.

    Heck, Lileks has made part of his career out it.

  58. cranky-d, it’s a well known fact that if you don’t have a “real job” your brain atrophies. I don’t even have a kid for an excuse. : (

  59. cranky-d says:

    In that case, my brain is about to disappear.  The two jobs I’ve had this year were both contract computer science jobs that I could do at home.

  60. heet says:

    How…pedestrian…

    And referring to non-believers as effete gouda eating beret wearers is the height of wit.  Again, do you believe your own bullshit?

    Frankly, I could care less if you stay at home or work at Wendy’s.  Stomping around the internet and accusing anti-war Americans of being shortsighted wimps while doing nothing, repeat nothing, to win the Iraq war opens one up for criticism.

  61. Stomping around the internet and accusing anti-war Americans of being shortsighted wimps while doing nothing, repeat nothing, to win the Iraq war opens one up for criticism.

    on the other hand being a wimp and proclaiming it all over the internet? courage worthy of praise.

  62. Farmer Joe says:

    Stomping around the internet and accusing anti-war Americans of being shortsighted wimps while doing nothing, repeat nothing, to win the Iraq war opens one up for criticism.

    Help me with the logic here. I might think, for example, that a building should be built. In as much as I am not a real estate developer, an architect, a contractor, or the owner of the property upon which the building should be built, am I completely disqualified from having an opinion on the subject? What if I happen to live next door to the lot where it’s being built? Still no weight?

    To make the connection explicit, even though I’m not a soldier or a government official, I’m a citizen of the republic whose security is threatened. Am I to have no voice in the defense of said country, even though it’s a republic and the citizens are, ultimately, responsible for what the government does.

    And not to put too fine a point on it, just because I’m not in the army or the government doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything. I’m paying my taxes, I’m voting for people who represent my intrests (to the extent that that’s possible), and I’m doing my best to contribute to the public debate (such as it is) on the subject.

    I know the chickenhawk canard has been refuted and refuted and refuted again, but jesus it’s stupid, and its popularty speaks volumes about the intellectual heft of the anti-war crowd.

  63. Darleen says:

    Obviously, the canard is supposed to make you feel less manly or something.

    The further irony is that the “progessives” who engage in such nonsense also love to puff out their chests, suck in their bellies and twitter on how “feminist” they are.

  64. Darleen says:

    accusing anti-war Americans of being shortsighted wimps

    Well, at least that’s kind of polite

    I, myself, have no problem with questioning the patriotism of the “America is to blame” mob.

  65. ahem says:

    heet: You’re too much of a twerp to waste time on…

  66. Farmer Joe says:

    The further irony is that the “progessives” who engage in such nonsense also love to puff out their chests, suck in their bellies and twitter on how “feminist” they are.

    Yes indeed, and if you were to ask them, I’m sure they’d tell you that there’s no reason to kowtow to traditional gender roles.

    You know, kind of how being gay is okay, unless you’re a republican, in which case they’ll stand around yelling “faggot” at you.

  67. 6Gun says:

    Stomping around the internet and accusing anti-war Americans of being shortsighted wimps while doing nothing, repeat nothing, to win the Iraq war opens one up for criticism.

    Win?  WTF?  Is this the new Democrat meme?

    And I’m not voting or paying my taxes?  You’re somehow pissed about your projecting yet another falsehood?

    That’s one hell of an argument you got there, heet.

    Every time I want to believe a leftist has a point, they go lock the door and jam their own face in the toilet. 

    Add heet to the pile.

    tw: hair85

  68. Patrick Chester says:

    Well, I guess there’s one pitfall to highlighting a particular troll. The ones like heet get all jealous and act all pissy.

  69. Dan Collins says:

    And referring to non-believers as effete gouda eating beret wearers is the height of wit.  Again, do you believe your own bullshit?

    Frankly, I could care less if you stay at home or work at Wendy’s.  Stomping around the internet and accusing anti-war Americans of being shortsighted wimps while doing nothing, repeat nothing, to win the Iraq war opens one up for criticism.

    Who said anything about “effete”?  As far as gouda goes, I’m man enough to admit that I like the stuff.

    Here’s the thing.  We disagree fundamentally on the nature of the risk involved from Islamofascism.  For example, we think it’s a whole lot more real and more immediate than the climate change stuff.  Yet we’re regarded as fearmongers, while those bending and twisting evidence to support the idea that global warming is a principally man-made phenomenon that can be treated by massive wealth distribution without accountability managed by a corrupt international bureaucracy are speakers of truth to power.

    As far as stomping around the internet goes, this is Jeff’s house.  I don’t go flying off the handle at everything that Greenwald says.  Honestly, most of the time I don’t care, unless he’s being an obtuse lying douchebag.  You come into our . . . saloon, let’s say, and you abuse the regulars, and you wonder why they don’t like you?

    What do you mean by “doing nothing”?  Do you have any idea of how many people here have given of their time and treasure for the troops?  Does it matter to you one iota that some of the disinformation that’s been spread by the MSM and the wire services has been exploded by stupid wingnuts on their blogs?  Are symbolic gestures such as Cindy Sheehan’s raving idiocy elevated because they are covered by the MSM?  If you think it’s so futile, then WTF are you doing here?

    Regarding your being shortsighted or not, would it help if I applied the academic term of abuse, quietistic?

  70. heet says:

    I know the chickenhawk canard has been refuted and refuted and refuted again, but jesus it’s stupid, and its popularty speaks volumes about the intellectual heft of the anti-war crowd.

    And yet the chickenhawk canard has helped elect a Dem house and senate this year.  It may have been refuted in your mind but not in the minds of the voters.  I’m afraid that’s the only place that counts.  Perception is everything, they say, and thus the vapid chest-thumpers have been thrown out.

    heet: You’re too much of a twerp to waste time on…

    I’m sorry sweethart, what’s that?

  71. 6Gun says:

    Frankly, I could care less if you stay at home or work at Wendy’s.

    Then (a) fucking act like it, or (b) stop conflating somebody else’s choice with your own conflicted bigotry.

    And yet the chickenhawk canard has helped elect a Dem house and senate this year. It may have been refuted in your mind but not in the minds of the voters.  I’m afraid that’s the only place that counts.  Perception is everything, they say, and thus the vapid chest-thumpers have been thrown out.

    In other words, ends justify means, appearances count, and principle is meaningless.

    Why am I not surprised?  Thanks for the assist, heet.  Now go back to your pile.

  72. McGehee says:

    And yet the chickenhawk canard has helped elect a Dem house and senate this year.

    Heh.

    Heh heh heh.

    BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  73. Dan Collins says:

    Perception is everything, they say, and thus the vapid chest-thumpers have been thrown out.

    Are you a self-deconstructing artefact, or just a moral midget?  Just how do you propose to bamboozle the Islamofascists into submission?

  74. Jeff Goldstein says:

    shorter heet:  “We fooled enough of the voters!  GO TEAM! 

    “Oh.  And RETREAT!”

    What an ineffectual little tit.  If I’ve done nothing to help win the war by trying to engage in public debate, influence opinion, perform my civil responsibilities, and expose the rhetorical tricks of an increasingly open partisan media—daily, for many years—what exactly have you done to help win the war, heet, by dropping troll turds on rightwing sites for kicks?

    Or are you admitting that it’s your goal to help us lose the war?  In which case, keep up the good work.

    “GO TEAM.

    “Oh.  And RETREAT!”

    ibid.

  75. Slartibartfast says:

    And yet the chickenhawk canard has helped elect a Dem house and senate this year

    Wow.  Where’s the chickenhawk canard registered to vote?

  76. Jeremy says:

    Heet,

    You believe it was the chickenhawk meme that won the elections for the Democrats? Seriously??? You actually believe that?

  77. Darleen says:

    And yet the chickenhawk canard has helped elect a Dem house and senate this year.

    Uh. No.

    Even the MSM carried the polling that voters didn’t have any confidence that the Dems had ANY plan about Iraq.

    Do you always read your own beliefs into others writing?

    BTW… why aren’t you in Iraq fighting the American occupiers in an effort to force them out?

    Chickendove?

  78. heet says:

    What principle are you referring to, 6gun?  The one that’s been so unsuccessful thus far?  Perception of the current crop of Republicans as unserious opportunists got them voted out of office, not some airy principles.  The denial is palpable here.

  79. Patrick Chester says:

    So. Besides smack-talking attention-starved little brats like heet, can anyone give me a candidate who won using the chickenhawk canard as their election strategy?

  80. Dan Collins says:

    What an ineffectual little tit.

    C’mon, Jeff.  Shapeliness counts.  Let’s not lower ourselves to their level.

  81. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Interestingly, I did a series of posts recently about how perception was what won the elections for the Dems.  But evidently when I propose such a thing, it’s the “self-satisfied rhetoric of a faux-tough “stay-at-home-dad slash blog-impresario” “bullshit artist.”

    Wrong color jersey, I guess…

  82. Dan Collins says:

    Perception of the current crop of Republicans as unserious opportunists

    And I can’t wait to help shape perception of Pelosi and Reid.  Not that they won’t supply the material.  But what you, and many others, fail to recognize is–we don’t give a shit about the Republican party.  We do give a shit about policies.

  83. Dan Collins says:

    Honestly, it’s just humorous being painted as a Manichean by Manicheans.

  84. Darleen says:

    shorter heet:  “We fooled enough of the voters!  GO TEAM! 

    “Oh.  And RETREAT!”

    Jeff, don’t forget this this little gem from today’s LATimes

    Maybe, just maybe, our best option is to restore Saddam Hussein to power. […]

    Restoring the expectation of order in Iraq will take some kind of large-scale psychological shock. The Iraqi elections were expected to offer that shock, but they didn’t. The return of Saddam Hussein — a man every Iraqi knows, and whom many of them fear — would do the trick.

    Yet, if prior to 11/7 one accused the “progressives” of wanting to “bring back Saddam” one would be attacked by such “progressives” as “lying about their motivations.”

    Yeah. Right.

  85. Dan Collins says:

    Also, you don’t get the subtlety of a windmill pretending to be a giant pretending to be a windmill, and I doubt you ever will.

  86. Dan Collins says:

    Let’s restore him to power once he’s hanged dead.

  87. cranky-d says:

    Well, I guess there’s one pitfall to highlighting a particular troll. The ones like heet get all jealous and act all pissy.

    Hey, if he can come up with something truly original, maybe, just maybe, he might get his own highlight.  No promises.

    So far, though, I haven’t seen anything worthy of it.  It’s just the usual crap.

  88. thegeezer says:

    And yet the chickenhawk canard has helped elect a Dem house and senate this year.  It may have been refuted in your mind but not in the minds of the voters.  I’m afraid that’s the only place that counts.  Perception is everything, they say, and thus the vapid chest-thumpers have been thrown out.

    [emphasis added]

    And so a class of pro-life, pro-American, neo-classic-liberal Democrats, who spoke traditional values to their constituents and who condemned the creeping drift afflicting Republican incumbents were elected.  Perceptions have created vapid chest-thumpers on the left, and perceptions certainly rule their conclusions here.  If it rules the decisions of those in Washington, and it seems that with McGovern hired as a consultant it may, in two years Washington will again be a different place.

    heet is like the topical ointment applied for muscle pain: local and ultimately ineffective for a cure, the treatment helps to hide the underlying ailment.

    In two years, the “local” will have revealed the sinister systemic disease.  The only questions are, will another stateside attack have occurred by then, and will Israel still exist?

  89. 6Gun says:

    What principle are you referring to, 6gun?

    Heh.  Apparently?  Maybe your projection, son; take your pick.

    Perception of the current crop of Republicans as unserious opportunists got them voted out of office, not some airy principles.

    The denial is indeed palpable, heet.  Do go on.

    If I read this right—if that’s possible—either the Washington Republicans are unserious opportunists, a point not lost around here, or there wasn’t some “airy” principle at work in their defeat?

    How’s that work, exactly?  You saying the country was duped by appearances ginned up by the Left?  While I don’t doubt that the Left runs on intellectual fumes and empty promises to morons, I believe that’s your second (identical) Freudian slip, Einstein.  I keep lobbing ‘em up; you keep slappin’ em thru the hoop.

    From there, how precisely does that impact your singlehandedly winning Iraq, noble shitkicker? 

    Or do we just wait until New Years to find out? 

    You know, if it weren’t for all the about-to-be-dead-or-oppressed brown people, I’d say the next two years and five weeks are going to be delicious…

  90. heet says:

    What an ineffectual little tit.

    I know you are but what am I?

    trying to engage in public debate, influence opinion, perform my civil responsibilities, and expose the rhetorical tricks of an increasingly open partisan media

    That’s alota stuff!  Which on of those is :

    What an ineffectual little tit.

    The ego, she is huge!

  91. monkyboy says:

    If things are going so well in Iraq, 6gun, why are thousands of Iraqis a day fleeing over the border to Jordan and Syria.

    Maybe the Democrats will start giving aid money to Syria to care for the Republican’s refugees…that would keep a lot of brown people alive…

  92. heet says:

    Oh, and you’re welcome for the hits this fine evening.  I gotta run, amigos.  Don’t stay up too late fighting the Islamofascists on the internet!  Or influencing opinion.  On the internet.  Crazy kids…

  93. wishbone says:

    I topple giants masquerading as windmills.  I cook meaty meals of thought provocation and balance the scales of insular astignatism.  I am a champion of the underdog and always play the devil’s advocate. Eschewing praise and pep-rally posts, I dismantle the joists which coddle the self-satisfied and the smug.  I am Blankman.

  94. The Ghost of Abu Musab al Zaqawi says:

    I do hope that Actus is paying attention.  This Monkyboy and this Heet, they are allies a conscienceless murderer can count upon.  Next, MB and heet, could you possibly endorse James Baker’s up coming prorposal to negogiate wiht Iran and Syria?  I’m not getting enough help on that score in the media.  And while you’re at it a few choruses of “Throw the Jew Down the Well,” would be nice to.

  95. cranky-d says:

    Oh, and you’re welcome for the hits this fine evening.  I gotta run, amigos.  Don’t stay up too late fighting the Islamofascists on the internet!  Or influencing opinion.  On the internet.  Crazy kids…

    Shorter heet: I’m taking my ball and going home.

    Sorry, h, but nothing you wrote really cut the mustard.  No ice cream for you.

    Better luck next time.

  96. wishbone says:

    Oh, and you’re welcome for the hits this fine evening.  I gotta run, amigos.  Don’t stay up too late fighting the Islamofascists on the internet!  Or influencing opinion.  On the internet.  Crazy kids…

  97. Slartibartfast says:

    While heet’s mommy gives him a bath and puts him to bed, how’s about a new topic?

  98. monkyboy says:

    Does helping Syria have to mean hurting Israel, ghost?

    I don’t think so…it’s not a zero-sum game.

  99. 6Gun says:

    If things are going so well in Iraq, 6gun, why are thousands of Iraqis a day fleeing over the border to Jordan and Syria.

    I said things were going well?

  100. Semanticleo says:

    Goldbrick, you are a testament to the ribald dishonesty that allows your Masquerade Ball to continue into the wee hours, just as Bastista partied until, well, you know.

  101. JD says:

    Nothing like trying to post snark in a thread that had not had a comment in almost 9 months. Somebody looking for a little attention?

  102. Semanticleo says:

    “Nothing like trying to post snark in a thread that had not had a comment in almost 9 months. Somebody looking for a little attention?”

    Just checking to see if, as I was told, my comments were deleted. And, they were. What’s your excuse? Got a lot of time on your hands, do you?

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