Natalie: Did you hear that Iran is going nuclear?
Blond-haired sister: Yeah, how cool is that?
Natalie and Brown-haired sister: Totally cool.
Natalie: I am so sick of the U.S. and that effin’ Bush trying to bully everybody! That is so, like, UNFAIR.
Brown-haired sister: Totally…
Natalie: I remember when I was in fourth grade and these kids bullied me cause I had a short ne… oh never mind. Anyway, I hated being the small one. Everyone always picks on the small one. I’m glad Iran is sticking up for itself.
Brown-haired sister: Totally, totally…
Blond-haired sister: What do you think about Iran giving arms to Hezbollah and maybe like killing innocent people?
Brown-haired sister: Whatever!!!!!
Natalie: Yeah, like defending yourself is bad or something. I mean Iran is all about self-determination. Shouldn’t countries be free to be what they want? Is it fair that America and Israel get nuclear bombs but somehow Iran isn’t worthy?
Brown-haired sister: Yeah, what’s up with that?
Blond-haired sister: Yeah, I guess you’re right. What about that actress who’s getting flogged and lost her job for having sex? And the gay people who get hanged? What about how women are treated?
Natalie: Have you been reading blogs again Blondie? It’ll mess with you’re head. Ya gotta stop. Or, at least read the right , I mean left blogs (all the girls giggle). And that actress was a total slut anyway. I mean, she should know that in her culture it’s wrong to be ho-ing around. What was she thinkin’? Plus, I think the Kos guy was right...their social advances are great and all that stuff is way overstated.
Brown-haired sister: Totally…
Blond-haired sister: So, you don’t think that President Abinibawhatever means what he says, you know about wiping Israel off the map?
Natalie: So what if he is? Israel likes to fight, so Iran will give ‘em one. Nothing new in the Middle East, fer shur. America needs to butt out and mind it’s own damn business and help the poor people and get socialized medicine going and raise taxes to pay off some debt and get silicone implants recalled–OK, maybe not that….
Sisters: Totally!!!!!!
H/T Dr. Sanity
Cancelling tour dates is just like censorship!!!
Choices. Consequences.
I always thought their music blew goats anyway.
Hey, this satire is not even funny. You did not even give the brown and blonde hair sisters names. I forgot what they are, but they do have names.
They may have to move to Europe, the way their career is going. The writing is on the wall. Although it’s true: There’s writing on the wall, and there’s writing on the wall.
The Chicks don’t yet know what it’s like to suffer for their art, like Theo van Gogh did…
– The other suggestion didn’t work, how about
“Shut the fuck up, and DON’T sing”
BBH,
That’s rather harsh. I liked the song Sin Wagon. Felt a little bad about the kids singing it full throttle on the way to church, though.
My opinion went South after Natalie’s outburst. I wonder if the sisters will ever shove a sock in her mouth, but they’re loyal. To. The.Bitter. End.
They may have to move to Europe the way their career is going? ROFL!
Last time I checked, after the rednecks who burned their albums (essentially burning their own pocketbook, since they bought them) thing passed over, they were headed back up there.
Besides, they just got a whole new legion of fans – people who don’t like Bush. You know, 66% of the country at this point.
Bush is a like, totally-tarian.
[dialing phone]
Brad. Yo man, you gotta see they’re doing now over at Goldstein’s place.
Yeah, besides the coconut peeler and the picking on stuttering people.
Huh? In the hallway, yeah. It should be in the basket with the rest of them. Wait, hang on.
[mariachi trumpet, ice whizzing in blender]
Ole! Arriba! No, I’ll tell you what, though. We’re totally labeling posts ‘SATIRE’ from now on. With all-caps, yeah.
Nono, ‘WARNING: SATIRE’—with all-caps, boldface, and the HTML blink tag.
Yeah, it’s like that; go over and see.
– Actually they should keep some defrib machines handy – Dan was thinking about a lede where we stuff stuttering midgets in a blender…..
Limbo,
Check thy facts, dillhole.
No no, BBH—we was gonna burn ‘em.
Their politics may blow, but their music certainly doesn’t. Martie Seidel is a tremendously gifted musician, and their harmony is as tight as anything in the genre today.
Their “Fly” album is probably the best blugrass/country of the past 10 years.
I don’t think it was really the original commments that made this whole brouhaha, but the “woe is us martyers of freedom” act that they put on afterwards.
You say some things that get some radio stations back home to stop playing your songs for a while and some people to write angry-sounding letters to various entitys. Next thing, you end up on Rolling Stone bucknekkid pretty much insinuting that only you have the right to say anything without criticism. Then, by running on this theme, you hope to pull in a new fanbase: the “Bushitler hates this band, I must see them!1!!1” crowd. And it works for a time, then you realize that that crowd isn’t famous for it’s devotion to country and bluegrass….
Their movie should have been titled “Shut Up and Listen”, because I feel that it would have better represented their position towards their old fanbase.
Good point, Techie. I loved their music, and enjoyed watching their videos—and I can forgive a lot of political idiocy from performers, especially hot-looking female performers—but thanks to their compounding the original idiocy, I can’t listen to their music or watch their videos anymore without remembering what a trio of “woe is us martyrs of freedom†knotheads they are.
As Ron White likes to say, “You can’t fix stupid.” And while one mistake doesn’t make the Dixie Chicks or anyone else stupid, they’ve committed a whole series of actions and statements building on the first one.
Beauty is skin-deep, but stupid is to the bone(head).
This has got to be the most stupid assumption I have ever seen on the internet.