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Have You Seen This Man? [Dan Collins]

Mama, I just dissected a whore . . .

An e-fit showing what detectives believe serial killer Jack the Ripper looked like has been revealed.

Using new profiling techniques, investigators have created a picture of what they believe the 19th Century murderer would have looked like.

The man, who evaded police in the 1880s, is thought to have killed and mutilated five London prostitutes.

The Scotland Yard team describe him as “frighteningly normal” but someone capable of “extraordinary cruelty”.

And investigators have admitted that police at the time were probably searching for the wrong kind of man.

Head of analysis for Scotland Yard’s Violent Crime Command Laura Richards, who has studied serial killer Fred West and Soham murderer Ian Huntley, revisited the case using modern police techniques.

. . . .

She brought together a team of experts, including pathologists, historians and a geographical profiler, to find out if the case could ever be solved.

The result has been the most accurate physical, geographical and psychological portrait of the Ripper ever put together.

It will be revealed in a documentary on Five on Tuesday.

Ms Richards said the 118-year-old evidence shows the Ripper was between the ages of 25 and 35, between 5ft 5ins and 5ft 7ins tall. He was also of stocky build.  Investigators have even been able to pinpoint his address.

Ms Richards said: “For the first time, we are able to understand the kind of person Jack the Ripper was.

“We can name the street where he probably lived; and we can see what he looked like; and we can explain, finally, why this killer eluded justice.”

Sorry, but this kind of thing fascinates me. 

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27 Replies to “Have You Seen This Man? [Dan Collins]”

  1. Jeff Goldstein says:

    THE MASONS DID IT!

  2. mojo says:

    Uh Huh. Suuuuure, pal.

    In any case, hasn’t he been dead since, like, 1880? So isn’t, like, the whole thing pointless?

  3. furriskey says:

    Doesn’t look a bit like Dan Collins. Dan Collins looks like an otter. This bloke looks like a sea-lion with indigestion, or possibly Stephen Fry as the General in Blackadder IV.

  4. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer.  What a clever disguise for the Ripper to use—80 years in advance.

    And we know what that means.  Because ONLY THE MASONS CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE!

  5. DanG says:

    So Freddy Mercury was actually Jack the Ripper?

  6. Slartibartfast says:

    I say he’s a dead ringer for Freddy Mercury.

  7. Slartibartfast says:

    Damn!  Curse you, DanG!

  8. slackjawedyokel says:

    Quit trying to pin it on the Masons, Jeff.  Everyone knows the Ripper was Aaron Kosminski, the notorious JOOOOOO.

    Or maybe it was Prince Albert Victor.

    Anyhoo, the Masons didn’t do it.  They were busy getting a patent for their jar.

  9. Dan Collins says:

    Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer.  What a clever disguise for the Ripper to use—80 years in advance.

    And we know what that means.  Because ONLY THE MASONS CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE!

    Speaking of which, Jeff . . . how’s the screenplay coming?

  10. furriskey says:

    Slartibartfast, you may have been second by a second, but ‘dead ringer’ makes up for it.

  11. BJTexs says:

    What? Is Jeff writing a screenplay about a Jewish Jack the Ripper who is mistaken for a muslim as he is being hunted by radical masons playing strange, never heard before, rhapsodies whilst bohemians dance naked in MacArthur Park with private detectives?

    Geez, no wonder it’s not done… MORE TEQUILLA!!

  12. buzz says:

    The result has been the most accurate physical, geographical and psychological portrait of the Ripper ever put together.

    How do they know it’s accurate?

  13. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Because the MASONS TOLD THEM, buzz!

  14. Pablo says:

    The Masons? Why, of course!

    It all makes sense now.

  15. Chairman Me says:

    What’s truly odd is that I heard “Fat Bottom Girls” not once, but twice while driving across the state yesterday. I can’t help but wonder now if that was Mercury’s “If I did it” song.

  16. Pablo says:

    I can’t help but wonder now if that was Mercury’s “If I did it” song.

    Is Freddy even a suspect?

  17. Chairman Me says:

    Is Freddy even a suspect?

    How dare you question me! You’re a suspect, too, now. Suspect!

  18. B Moe says:

    The guy reminds me of somebody I have seen on teh innar-webs….hmmmmmm…….

  19. having read From Hell not toooo long ago, I gotta agree with Jeff.  Masons.  that could see the future. well, the killings were to help see the future, but you get the idea.

  20. Bill D. Cat says:

    Who the hell are these Masons? Are they like the Partridge Family or sumpin’?

  21. Mr. Cat, I would tell you, but I’m guessing you’d rather not turn up dead somewhere.

  22. Bill D. Cat says:

    mk,

    I keep looking around , and asking questions ,but the freaking secret handshake is something I’m sure no one will ever let me in on…..sniff,sniff …bastards.

  23. B Moe says:

    I just got this last year. 

    If you guys need help, I am your man.

  24. McGehee says:

    The guy reminds me of somebody I have seen on teh innar-webs….hmmmmmm…….

    Need I point out that you don’t know exactly where I am right now? snake

  25. McGehee says:

    Who the hell are these Masons? Are they like the Partridge Family or sumpin’?

    No, they’re related to some lawyer named Perry.

  26. PattyAnn says:

    Perry Mason and the Case of the Vivisected Vixens?

    Author Patricia Cornwell researched/wrote a book naming the definitive Ripper, but I was so unimpressed with it that I don’t even remember who she named.

  27. Does this mean we may finally see the completion of Spinal Tap’s rock musical on the life of Jack the Ripper?

    “You’re a naughty one, Saucy Jack,

    You’re a haughty one, Saucy Jack.”

    Here’s hoping.

Comments are closed.