(Cross-posted from Bloody Scott)
The University of Wisconsin is now offering instruction in Conspiracy Theory. The time to jump into this fast-growing field is now, when you can get in on the ground floor. Learn the rhetorical and evidentiary techniques that will undoubtedly be in demand under the coming regime of pan-Islamism. The future is approaching; do you wish to be part of it?
I like this one:
Conspiracy Theory 560: Special Topics, Fall 2007, Yasmin Kassab
Jesus the Fascist
Prerequisites: Michael Moore (CT243), or Roosevelt’s Pearl Harbor Gambit (CT265), or George Bush 43 in Nostradamus (CT276)
Using the Gnostic Gospels and the Necronomicon, as well as Nazi Party propaganda, we will examine the various ways in which the words of Jesus (the so-called Christ), who stated according to the accepted Gospels that his Kingdom was “not of this world,” in fact meant to imply that his Kingdom was of all worlds, and that, contrary to accepted theology Judas Iscariot turned him over to the Romans because he feared the “Messiah’s” desire for world domination.
4 credits, permission of instructor required
203 Bascom Hall, M W 9-11.
Why is this being offered now? I question the ti–aw, the hell with it…
My standing question for conspiracy theorists remains: why do you think you are worth conspiring against?
Sanity, that delusion is all they’ve got. Take it away and they’re powerless against an indifferent universe instead of one that is actively out to get them.
When those are the choices, being the target of organized malice is far better for the ol’ self-esteem being merely feckless.
…than being merely feckless.
<b>**Tin Hat Warning!** **Tin Hat Warning**
Them Craaaaaazy people keep gnockin’ their heads against the Gnostic Gospels. The irony, of course, is that Jesus refused to empower the Zealots, the young jewish firebrands who were trying to forment revolution against the Romans. Years after Jesus’ crucifiction, the revolution was attempted and ended, disaterously for the Jews, at Masada. The temple was looted, burned, and dismantled by the Romans as a warning, leaving only the Wailing Wall standing.
Maybe, just maybe it’s time for U of W to ber less sissyfied about perceived freedom of speech issues and start exercising some scholarly course review to determine whether or not there is actually any educational there there.
BTW: before the troll crapstorm hits there are at least a dozen good books by renowned scholars on why the gnostic gospels are less authoritative than the Gospels and will show you, step by step, why the Da Vinci Code is 95% bull pucky. Go gnock yourselves out.
Dan’s really taking a walk on the wildside with this one. The second actus-aimed thread in a day may just knock the rest of us paste-eaters off the air…
BJ–
That was complete satire on my part, though goodness knows that’s where the academy is headed in the service of “freedom of expression” and “multiple viewpoints.” It’s not actually on the UW catalog . . . yet.
Top Ten Ways To Post Like A Conspiracy Lunatic
10. Have no sense of humor, irony or whimsy.
9. The fact that an “official†investigation shows there was no conspiracy is not evidence that the conspiracy does not exist; rather, it is evidence that the conspiracy does exist. Otherwise, why would they deny it?
8. Use “quotation†marks, *highlighting*, CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points!!!! indiscriminately.
Example: All the “official†photographs of the Roswell “debris†are clearly photographs of weather balloon material, *proving* CONCLUSIVELY that the “government†*removed* the REAL remains and substituted the balloon parts in a vain attempt at a COVERUP!!!!!!!
7. Follow up every non-sequitor with “COINCIDENCE?â€Â
Example: NASA, the same organization that says the face on Mars is *not* a sign of intelligent life, also used Tang on its early missions. Tang is a product of General Foods, which owns the candy bar manufacturer Mars, Inc.
COINCIDENCE?
6. The most tenuous of connections between a person who debunks your theory and the alleged conspirators is cause to disregard the debunker.
Example: Dr. Levin P. Stacy of Michigan State University, a “journalism†professor, argues that the Roswell “phenomena†is merely an example of millinerian “hysteria,†and that no coverup exists. However, STACY WORKS AT A PUBLICLY FUNDED UNIVERSITY, WHICH RELIES HEAVILY ON GOVERNMENT GRANTS!!!!
5. Insert examples of how your personal life has been wrecked because the conspirators know you are on to them. If your significant other has left you, it’s not because of the tinfoil hat you’ve taken to wearing, it’s because “they†got to him or her.
4. Always put commonly accepted descriptions in quotation marks. Examples: “British†Royal Family, press “commentator,†“progressive†thinker. Also, make sure you never report anyone as “saying†anything, they always “claim†it.
3. Insist that the experts know nothing, and that all you need is the Bible, the Constitution, Black’s Law Dictionary and a handgun to prove your point.
2. Make it up as you go along.
1.You’re not cleared for that
Nice list, Professor Brain. But considering that you are a hemaphrodite horned space alien from a different continuum in disguise, why should we believe you?
BTW, Hilda still wants to perform that autopsy, watch out for swords!
Apparantly my sarcasm meter was set to “tickle” on that one. The third paragragh was the only serious part of it, knowing how many “Da
Vincibots” roam the universe these days. (please nore gnock, knock, hee hee…ahem…OK)
However, not exactly tin hat, but on ahem’s thread, somebody (really late) tries to hijack the topic with this. Once again the meme is we are under attack and it’s our fault.
Note that there are a distressing lack of “ “ and () and CAPITALS but the lack of attribution is classic.
Normally I’d say “Gee, thanks Dan for pointing out to the community that I’m a moron!” but I know it’s just payback for all of those penalties that I dropped on ya!
COINCIDENCE?