…So in response to one of my posts, I received some rather juicy hate mail from a white supremacist group — a cadre of self-described “intellectuals and writers” who, needless to say, don’t care much for the mud peoples, especially the Jews.

Here’s how they describe themselves on their website:

What We Are

We are a group of disgusted and disaffected writers driven out of academia and journalism by the Semitical Correctness that has denatured our culture. We have come together on the Internet to reclaim the American mind from the Jews. In short, we are the Antibodies, and our advent heralds the day a White political force rises and reasserts civilization.

What It Means To You, the Reader

It means that for probably the first time in your life, you get news spun accurately. For once you are getting news from people who look and act like you, and who share your beliefs.

Writers Sought

If you are an able writer — regardless of your field — and you have a story to tell, a book to review, a movie to complain about, let us know. We are always looking for new talent and for regional or foreign stringers to report the real facts the Jewish wire services cover up.

Now, I’ve never heard of this so-called “Jewish” wire service (I suspect it’s just like any other wire service, only circumsized, and with an overbearing mother and a substantial stock portfolio), but I’m a fairly able writer, and I have plenty of stories to tell. So I emailed them my vita and some samples of my writing. For instance: “Q: What do you get when you cross a white supremacist and a gorilla?

A: A really stupid gorilla.”

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for an interview.

Anyway, while perusing their site (and let me just interject one minor criticism here about your site design, fellas: the text? Black as Al Sharpton’s underbelly. I mean, a “pure” site like yours, polluted with negroid text? What’s that about?) I came across some classified ads — including a few personals. Here’s one such personal ad, augmented by my learned Semitical interpolations:

Heilsa! My name is Kelly (aka Angry White Female), and I am rather dismayed that I have to resort to a personal ad to find a like-minded mate. But until we have ‘community’ this is the only way.

Well, until we have “community,” or until ol’ Kelly sprouts a decent pair of tits and does something to correct that wandering eye of hers. And then there’s the brutal acne, marching from the small of her back down to the crack of her ass like little Nazi whitehead soldiers bent on invading Poland (located just inside her rectum…)

I am 33 years old and am looking for a man between 30-40 who is serious about having a family and raising children in a loving, pro-White environment.

“Pro-White”? Why, I love Colorado snowfalls, Kelly! And I’m a big fan of kids, too — after all, an “elder” of Zion must have his offspring, right? Who else to leave the world to, the goyim? The blacks…?

I don’t know about you, Kel, but I’m beginning to sense a connection between us…

My background is mostly Scottish with German and Dutch tossed in there. I am honest, loyal and law-abiding and hope you are too. I have been part of the ‘movement’ for about 5 years now and it has changed my life so significantly I can no longer find a suitable mate ‘out there.’

5 years and only one movement? Wow. Bet your bowels are glutted! [insert rimshot]

But I kid Kelly. I kid because I love. …So you were saying what now? You have Scottish, German, and Dutch in you? No Jew, though, right?

Would you like some? (wink wink) [insert second rimshot]

Again, I kid!

Let’s see… “honest, loyal and law-abiding.” You mean, “law-abiding” except for the whole “exterminate the Jews” thing, of course…

I am 5 ft 4 inches tall and weigh 128 lbs. My hair is medium/dark blonde and my eyes are blue (or green, depending on situation or time of day).

…you know, we Jews have a word for people whose eyes change colors “depending on situation or time of day”: Witches! Y’know, handmaidens of Satan!

I am not bragging, but I have no problem attracting men. Just a problem finding any keepers due to my uncompromising racialism.

Translation: Somebody’s always willing to slip me the ol’ bratwurst, but then in the morning when I open my mouth and start speaking, he bolts like Hitler at the sound of Patton’s boots…

Most understand my opposition to immigration and naughty negroes — but they are downright fearful of an intelligent, dedicated racialist who can not only smell the beans and fried chicken, but the bagels too.

Well, it’s always helpful to try to convince yourself of these things, Kelly. Whatever helps you through those lonely nights spent pleasuring yourself with the lubed-up uber-gourd you’ve taken to calling “Herr Schmitty.” Herr Schmitty doesn’t fear your intelligence and bold racialism, does he Kelly? Of course not! Herr Schmitty understands you. He understands you real goooooooood…

I am looking for a kind hearted man who is tolerant and encouraging of my strengths and weaknesses. I have no respect for wimps, but could never be with a man who wanted to break my spirit. My future man must be a rock, and one with an even temper to balance out my occasional dreary days.

…You know, one of your more understanding Nazi types — a jack-booted warrior and hater of non-whites who’ll love me for me. Someone who doesn’t see the world in black and white, but rather recognizes the complexities inherent in an individual human life with a tongue like a German Shepherd — long, able, and just a teensy bit rough…

Nope, I do not scream, hit or throw things when angry like many women.

Instead, I shoot to kill the Jew Monkey motherfuckers…!

But I need a stable, decisive, trustworthy man who isn’t a pig or a wimp. Those looking for a weak, silent woman to make them feel manly need not apply. Those needing an ‘alpha woman’ to run their life also need not apply. My guy is solid and has nothing to prove, he knows he’s a man and already has a mother.

Sounds a lot like me, Kelly!

Of course, I already have a wife, and I’d rather shag a Bull Terrier than some desperate skank like you. I mean, time to put this in perspective, honey. You’re a white supremacist chick who can’t find a man! That’s the sexual equivalent of being unable to score with Death Row inmates despite being buck-naked, bent over, and waving a fistful of pardons…

I must warn you beforehand what I won’t compromise on. I am a Cat Supremacist and an animal/nature lover in general. I have two very cool cats who I absolutely adore. I dote on them, and any man I marry must be a Cat Nazi. No exceptions.

Headline: Despite Having Two Pussies, Desperate Nazi Bitch Can’t Find Willing Prick

And “Cat Nazi,” Kelly? As in, “Vee haf vays of making you purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”…? That’s good stuff!

I do not smoke (anymore) and take health very seriously. I drink occasionally, but won’t tolerate alcoholics or drug users. While I would be happy to take care of a man in a traditional manner, you must respect and appreciate what I do for you, our kids and our cause.

…Which amounts to looking dumpy, squeezing out mewling proto-Nazis, cooking you mac and cheese, and using words like “kike” and “nigger” whenever you’re passed over for a promotion, or you’re turned down for a home loan, or the Yankees win the World Series.

Currently, I live in the Central/Northern California foothills. I am willing to relocate, for the right man, that is. Preferably, you live near me, or at least in a bordering state. I come with solid racial references

–To whom it may concern:

Kelly is so white she’s nearly purple.

Yours,

The Official Racial Reference Guy–

— and hope you do too. If you are interested, email me at [withheld out of courtesy to our Nazi sister] and we will correspond. If that goes well, we’ll exchange numbers and pictures. If there’s no love connection, I am happy just to make new friends to network and build community with.

Kelly

Either that, or I can just invite you over to my crib, and we can get all freaky and whatnot — you know, really tear up the hizz-ouse with our flat-out soul fuckin’! Go on, rock those hips, white boy! That’s right, now you talkin’ — go on and tap my ay-ass!

Enough of that. Enjoy the Memorial Day Weekend, everybody.

Me, I’ll be heading off to my annual “Jews Control the Universe Cookout and Tax Seminar.”

Free beer. Yeeeeeehaaaa!