[EXT: my childhood home in Reisterstown, MD. DAY. LOU REED stands on the front stoop of a two-story row home. I am sitting on the lawn, tending a sapling.]
LOU REED
Hey babe. Take a walk on the wild side.
ME
No.
[pause]
And please take off my mother’s shoes, would ya? You’re really creeping me out.
[FADE OUT]
And though she feels as if she’s in a play, she is anyway.
Well. This post certainly got shoved down the page pretty quickly, eh?
Onward to find a hall mirror!
Just make it sticky, Jeff. We won’t mind. Also, if you’re going mirror shopping, it makes me think that maybe you’re not really a vampire.
My horrifying repressed childhood Lou Reed psychotrauma was that the first song of his I ever heard was “I Love You, Susanne”â€â€the dumbest song I’ve ever forgotten existed.
Was, I say, because I was reminded of its egregious existence a few days ago.
Since then, I’ve spent every waking moment running my Lou Reed records through a media shredder over and over againâ€â€and I will continue to do this until I achieve nuclear fission.
And if, after I get the VU-bomb, someone should make the news by unleashing unprecedentedly demented terroristic (and possibly transvestite) violence against the offices of VH1 Classic, maybe it was me.
Ya gotta admit, though, “Rock n Roll Animal” is a killer record. Only because he got a bunch of heavyweight players to tour with him, but still. Steve Hunter, Dick Wagner, and Prakesh John just fucking smoke on that album.
Wow, think you can get Tim Robbins to play Lou? Think of the gravitas and the overly thick New York accent he would bring to the part.
I hate to give this kind of advice, but instead of tending the sapling, how’s about you stand slightly stage right while Any Warhol covers the sapling in aluminum foil and polaroid pictures of kitchen implements and behind Lou on the top step you need a red couch covered in transexuals having sex.
Other than that, fantasic, I love it. *mwah*mwah*
It means you’re a fag.
That’ll be 400 bucks.
Pink Fraud: When you’re pink, everyone looks like a fag. Don’t you have to go out some Republican this afternoon?