Originally published in 2005, but just as timely as ever.

Sen. Kennedy on the Future of the Democratic Party

Senator Kennedy: I’d like to thank you for inviting me to the Press Club today. Nobody invites me anywhere any more and I was starting to get a little worried.

(Laughter.)

I’m serious. I had to muscle my way in through the door. Terry McAuliffe can do me.

(Nervous laughter.)

I’m here today to make a few candid remarks on the future of the Democratic party. First of all, you’ll be reassured that the nation’s future is in good hands. Not my hands, of course – better hands. Young, strong, vigorous hands. Sober hands that will steer the ship of state down the highway of the future, without making any sudden last-minute turns ending in disaster.

(Applause.)

Ten years ago I stood at this podium after another election in which Democrats had our asses handed to us on a tray. As the older among you may remember, the result was a surprising and unwelcome re-distribution of power in which Republicans ended up controlling both houses of Congress. As a Kennedy, I stand against such unwelcome redistributions of power.

My esteemed father, Joseph P. Kennedy, who was a pretty big man with the Mob, believed in that idea with every fiber of his being. ‘Teddy’, he’d say, spanking me vigorously on my infant bottom with an empty beer bottle, ‘No redistributions of power – ever!’’ I took that lesson to heart. In order for America to remain a democratic society, power must at all times remain in the hands of the Democratic party. In the immortal words of Martin Luther King, ‘Vote Democratic!’

Fortunately for us, we had William Jefferson Clinton to hold down the fort; he really gave those Republicans a run for their money. Eight halcyon years in the White House! No unfashionable high ideals. No useless and doomed interventions into heartbreaking, but nonstrategic, pest-holes like Rwanda. We could take credit for the incredible results of the Reagan economic legacy. Peace reigned throughout the land. The Europeans tolerated us. The future was ours. Who ever would have thought we would fuck it up?

But we did.

(Groans.)

I categorically reject the deceptive and dangerous claim that the outcome last November was somehow a sweeping victory for George W. Bush and his fasci-, er, reactionary, supporters. 60 million voters don’t know shit.

(Applause.)

Obviously it hurts to come so close in all three battles and then fail by such insignificant margins. The popular vote is way overrated. A mere 4 million votes in this last election would have turned the tide for us. Despite all our finest efforts and the vigorous absentee registration attempts by the NAACP and other non-partisan groups in their Get Out the Dead campaign, or Acorn and their thousands of fake election signatures, or Ramsey Clarke and all the good work of the Stalinist Worker’s Par–er, ANSWER–we were thwarted.

I say next time we should give felons the right to vote. And illegal Mexicans. And dogs. And the French. And every reader of the Manchester Guardian. Every vote must count!

(Applause.)

Or if that dipstick Kerry could have shown some stones and tried to sue his way into the White House like Al did, we could have won, no matter how much of the taxpayer’s hard-earned money was burned up in litigation fees. Make ‘em re-count the votes chad by chad until they couldn’t see straight. But we gave up. In the immortal words of Martin Luther King, “Never give up!”

(Silent weeping.)

We did many things wrong, but this is no cause for complacency. We must do a better job of looking within ourselves and speaking out for the principles we believe in–whatever they may be at the time. We must start taking credit for some ideas instead of letting those Republican bastards get all the good ones.

I categorically reject the idea of privatized social security. It’s a hell of a good idea–in fact, I have a private retirement account myself–but it isn’t a Democratic idea. If it had been our idea, I’d be supporting it. But it wasn’t, so I won’t. Just wait until 2008 and Hillary gets her hands on it. You may not think she’ll take credit for introducing Medical Savings Accounts, but she will!

(Uncontrollable sneezing.)

And what about the minimum wage, student loans and the future of the Great Horned Owl? Those proposals were barely mentioned or voted on in an election dominated by memories of 9/11, fear of terrorism, and the relentlessly negative attacks on our presidential candidate.

Of course, we must deal with the danger of terrorism. So far our misguided attempts to defend ourselves from religious fanatics have created intense anti-Democratic feeling–and that’s just in Ohio. I say the sooner we lay down our arms and start talking to Osama bin Laden, the better. I am convinced that John Kerry can work with our enemies–as he is doing even now–to end the war and bring our troops home with honor. I intend to address this issue in greater detail after the Iraqi elections, in the full light of 20-20 hindsight.

(Huzzahs.)

Our challenge now is to convince the American people that there is a better way ahead instead of continuing to sink deeper into the quagmire. Because, comrades, the Democratic party is in a quagmire.

In the face of the unrelenting Republican success that threatens to turn us into the political equivalent of the Passenger Pigeon, we cannot move our party or our nation forward by resorting to respectful discourse, moderate rhetoric or diplomacy. We cannot win new voters by negotiating compromise, thinking originally or ceasing to provide aid and comfort to America’s enemies–no. What we need is a return to the policies of the 1960s that have served us so well. In the immortal words of Howard Dean, ‘Yeaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!!!’

(Yearghs.)

And who says we Democrats don’t have values? Our values are our greatest strength. Despite resistance, setbacks and periods of backlash over the years, our values have moved us closer to the ideal with which America began: that all men are created equal. Men are the same as women; Good is the same as bad; Smart is no better than dumb; Your money is my money; All religions are equally misguided. All is one.

(The sound of one hand clapping.)



Today I propose a progressive vision for America; a vision we Democrats must fight for in the months and years ahead, a vision rooted in our basic values of opportunity, fairness, tolerance and respect for other people’s opinions–whether they’re those of Democrats, billionaires, movie stars, Europeans, Osama bin Laden or the UN.

These values are still the essence of the American dream–a dream that is the Pole Star of the Democratic Party. a dream that guides our policies and sets our course to freedom and opportunity, to fairness and justice. In the immortal words of Martin Luther King—

I can’t recall exactly what he said, but I’m sure he had something apposite to say.

Today, that dream is in peril.  For the sake of our future I strongly believe that our highest priority must be to get the Democrats back into the White House no matter what the cost! In the immortal words of Martin Luther King, ‘Don’t stop thinkin’ about tomorrow!’

(Applause.)