Look! Unicorns and bunnies eating neapolitan banana splits on clouds made from spun sugar! Under a delicious lollipop rainbow!
Quick! Somebody fetch the river dancing midgets. And the hookers.
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
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- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
You know the river dancing midgets don’t work Sundays & the hookers charge time and a half. Can’t we do this tomorrow instead?
TW: It’s been months since I’ve seen the river dancing midgets.
River dancing midgets?
I’m still looking for my epileptic midget!
Are they Irish midgets?
Is river dancing midgets Da Vinci code for dancing `dillos?
Of course you realize nothing less than a dancing armadillo will ever satisfy.
<urp>
I wonder if “This Is Spinal Tap” would re-do the Stonehenge scene with dancing midget armadillos?
TW : I`ve seemed to have lost all of my self “respect” posting this.
Man, you’ve got to find a better contact. That’s some Owlsley shit, man.
If you think you’ve lost self-respect, grasp this: I actually dog-piled it.
I may not sleep ever again.
C(C), a thousand thanks, the last time I tried to spell Owlsley I thoroughly fucked it up.
Jeff, where’d you score the acid? Last time I did acid was at the 1984 Boudain Festival in Broussard, La. I think boudain’s disgusting, really, but I remember a giant Miller High Life balloon. That was kinda cool.
I don’t even know if Broussard is still there. I’m not going back to find out.
I can think of nothing more fitting.
Drowning is the single greatest cause of death among river dancing midgets.
Glop, clop, and clap.
Ok, Mr. Rather. I think you’ve had enough.
SB: press
Swimming drunk with little tiny legs will do that.
Physics, you know.
Unicorns? Fine. River dancing midgets? You’ve gone too far.
Is this rainbow sorbet? Kinda frothy, but a nice reprieve. Of late, my protein shake has been as clarifying and gob-smackingly punchy as ever, but the sweetener is kinda overwhelmed. I don’t know if it’s sweetener even. What was that? Kind of a minty, rosemary mango. Deep, but uplifting. Anyhow, looking forward to the next course. Thanks for all you do.
Heh. I was wondering myself if Lucy and her diamonds were up there with the unicorns and bunnys.
What does this mean?
Is Michael Moore going to do a film on pre-war Iraq?
If so, where are the kites?
TW: look. No! Don’t look!
Don’t forget the cuppycake gumdrops.
You people disgust me.
Now about those hookers….
sean m., KITTYLOAF!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!
Great idea!!
So look, when they get here, you take care of the midgets and I’ll deal with the hookers! Unless ofcourse they look like a cross between Margaret Cho and Andrea Dworkin, in which case all bets are off!
These hookers you speak of, are they midgets too?
I’d like to be around the first time a Frenchman asks a Hizballah killer to hand that gun over, s’il vous plait.
These stupid bastards are dreaming.
If he’s scoring Owsley acid, why would he need a better contact?
Where’s the little orange fuckin’ asterisk?
Dude, I need reference material to figger out what the fuck you’re about.
TW: help
How the cornbread thunder does it know?
My daddy used to say, “If you’re scared, say you’re scared.” I’m scared, and I don’t exactly know why. I like unicorns, but I didn’t realize I was a “sizist” person until I got a visual of those river dancing midgets.
And I moved 130 miles west of my daddy so there’s no help there.
C(C) , see what I mean about spelling Owlsley, I`m not the only one who fucks it up…y`all be cool.
Cease Fire! Cease Fire!…..
– Hey! Shut the fuck up knucklehead. You’ll scare the river dancing midgets. (they make great civilian shields, not too mention their utility in throwing contests. Just don’t let gahrie know about this, or I’ll never get my tuba back.)
While a peaceful land of unicorns, fairies and sprites sports merrily under lollipop rainbows, blue skies and fluffy white clouds, their mortal enemies have thrown off unnecessary stealth …and reveal their brutal plans for all to see… meanwhile, in time temporarily unhindered, beautiful young children continue to play games of fanciful wit, telling clever riddles one to another and congratulating themselves that they are not like their enemies.
The narrator speaks in deep tones of gloom: “Their end is certain, for they in no wise possess the disposition required to defend themselves, let alone defeat their murderers. The magical land of childish make believe is hereafter doomed.”
TW: Understanding the economic(s)</i> of the situation can lead to a depression.
Well, I needed a sorbet after checking out the Electric Eeyore Ladyland.
Dem ain’t no babies, dey’s fidgets!
Australian Taliban Feted Again, Through the Medium of Dance:
http://dailyablution.blogs.com/the_daily_ablution/2006/08/australian_tali.html
Personally can’t wait to see Cirque du Soleil’s take on Haditha and Riverdance’s interpretation of Qana.
Moreover:
Hahaha! All your dancing midgets are belong to Treacher!
Memo to self: Next time I book a troupe of river dancing midgets, make sure they bring their own water wings.
Midgets are surprisingly heavy.
They weigh almost as much as humans.
T/W respect: What?
I loves me some hookers.
…’cause there’s nothing sadder than watching a bunch of adult-sized water wings go floating down the river by themselves amid a raft of bubbles, because you forgot to tell your assistant to be sure and get them in small child size.
Wasn’t going to write, but–
TW: Send the midgets home, keep the hookers.
Throwing contests!
That was a well trained high class epileptic midget guys. Using her in a throwing contest is like using a Kentucky Derby winner as a plow horse.
Oh the humanity……..
I once up on a time I met Owsley’s son, when he was about 18-19 there abouts. His name was (and I’m not make this up) Starfinder. His friends all called him Starf.
The funny thing of was, the guy just wasn’t into drugs. At. All. Maybe a little pot her and there. But he never even of tried acid when I frist knew him. Drugs was just something, you know, his Dad did. It would of been like, I dunno, if your Dad liked to play pinochle, or ice fish, or some damn thing, and your like 18 and your like whatever, you go do your Dad stuff, Dad, I’m cool.
But, weirdly, he did like to go to Dead shows, probably because (a) he could go back stage to hang with Jerry and Bobby, Phil and ect., which, again, would of just been more Dad stuff (for him), but (and this is the kicker (b) he could bring back a girl if he wanted too. You see where going with this? You walk into a sea of hippy chicks, spot the one who makes your heart go patty-pit, and say, “Hey, would you like to meet they guys?” Fish, meet barrel. Meet sleeping bag.
I don’t know actuaully if that was his game, but its a kind of made up sense to me. I thought he was pretty decently a guy, quiet kinda smart. The sad of it is he ran into this trainwreck of hippychick freind of mine, who was married, and who talked him into tripping for the frist time, ect, One thing to another, next he knows, she’s says she was pregnant, gettimg divored wants to sing backups for the Jerry Band. OGM. (She wasn’t pregnant, bwt.) I kinda felt sorry for Starf before all was over.
I wonder what he ever happened to old Starf.
Efforts should be made to find river dancing midget hookers.
TW: They’re the best.
…and when staging a throwing contest, make sure the river isn’t downrange.
Man, this shindig may be the end of my career as a shindig organizer.
It’s widely known that whenever you have river dancing midgets, you must, by law, have hookers present.
However, they’re not the typical skanky, huge-assed spandexed, gooped-on purple eye shadowed ladies of the evening.
They’re dudes with these huge hooks to gaff any dwarves that may get swept up by the current, mid-kick.
It’s an honest mistake.
Ah, a blissful scene from Saddam Hussein’s Iraq!
TW: before Bushitler and the Neocons ruined it all!
I thought that was “Congress”, alppo–but then I read the rest of your explanation and we are talking about two different things.
And somewhere Jack Abramoff breathes a huge sigh of relief.
Because that would have meant another 18 months or so…
Margaret Cho looks like an over-sized midget. Disproportional head and torso with stubby arms and legs?
Creepy.
Imagine all the county fair lost revenue.
Come to think of it, Rosie O’Donnell has more of the forehead of an Oompah Loompah. She’s your “Tallest Midget” exhibit, right there.
**shivers**
8 words:
Hot-Sweaty-Rosie-on-Margaret-Oversized-Midget-Action!
**cue sounds of vomit hitting porcelain**
Better tell the guys with the big hooks to get ready.
– Hooks don’t work with Rosie. The cranes keep tipping over.
– For the river dancing midget hookers, we should make sure their costumes consist of WalMart spandex leotards, large gap black mesh stocking’s, and nurses cobbler heeled shoes with taps, and buckles. The opening number could be a Gene Wilder version of “follow the yellow brick shit house road”.
Oh, all right. Sheesh. You people.
Dancing Midget
SB: expect
orate
Epileptic river dancing midget hookers. Plug into one of them and you’re good for 7, 8 seconds, max. (But, WOW!)
tw: Hotel. Can I rent a room for 10 minutes?
That’s not a quickie, that’s a shortie.
Inventors of the Pokeho.
The unbelievably unserious Susan Estrichdoesn’t like the mean Republicans stomping on her rainbows, I guess.
Why is it that every time I see Susan Estrich name on a page I read Susan Estrogen.
I saw Steely Dan last night, and while it was a good show, I can’t help but think that it would have been that much better had they had river dancing midgets. I wonder how you can get in touch with the band?
Walter Becker asked for a moment of silence for Joe Lieberman, to great applause of course. I poured some my Yngling on the ground to the fallen homie from CT.
No hookers were present, as far as I could tell.
Alright, hot sweaty ChoDonnel midgies!!!!Does that come with popcorn?
Sorbet? My palate doesn’t feel cleansed at all.
In fact I feel in need of a shower now…
Did you buy some Leslie GORE-TEX® underpants, too?
(which could explain the really, really optimistic hooker yearnings)
THE ONLY MIDGETS I WANT TO SEE ARE POLE VAULTING MIDGETS.
– 10 minutes sir. You’ve got a midget with you. What do you need 10 minutes for?
– She needs to shave.
TW: private. Yep. those too. and the mustache.