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rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Well, not always.  Like, when it’s hot and the rain cools things off a bit?  That’s kinda cool.  And then there are the three-day holiday weekends that carry over to Monday.  Also cool.

But in general, rainy days and Mondays always get me down.  Or at least, occasionally get me down.  Not always.  Because of the ketamine and the toaster pastries.

I’m sorry, what was I saying?

****

update:  Oh, yeah.  Now I remember.  I have some paperwork and other things to take care of this morning.  Some big projects upcoming.  But I’ll be back in a bit.  Thanks to those of you who passed along some tips on the Billy Jack hat.  My, uh, friend really appreciates it and will be looking into purchasing one if he can find it cheaply enough.  Because he can’t see himself spending $300 for a hat that doesn’t brew its own beer.  Or at least has a great set of breasts on it.

37 Replies to “rainy days and Mondays always get me down”

  1. Rob B. says:

    I have some paperwork and other things to take care of this morning.

    You forgot the coversheets on the TPS reports, didn’t you?

  2. Benedick says:

    Sounds like a fancy way of saying “joint-rolling and a Scooby-Doo marathon.”

  3. Meg Q says:

    Today’s actually a bank holiday up here in Canada (well, every province and territory except the Northwest Territory, they get one in 2 weeks) – the elegantly-named “August bank holiday”. So that’s nice. They aim to get one bank holiday in each month, I think.

    Y’know, Jeff, er, for your “friend” – sometimes you just have to shell out for sartorial superiority. Some things are worth it – I should think a nice Billy Jack hat would be one of them.

  4. Robb Allen says:

    I brew my own beer and am a lot cheaper than $300.

    However, I doubt I’d look that good on your hea… err on your “friend’s” head.

  5. natesnake says:

    I’ll take the rain over the humidity.  Nutsack sticking to the side of my leg usually makes for a shitty Monday.

  6. natesnake says:

    Because he can’t see himself spending $300 for a hat that doesn’t brew its own beer.  Or at least has a great set of breasts on it.

    I was surprised that the par hookers at the Vegas Tropicana were only $150.

    Of course, I was just making polite conversation while waiting for the elevator.

  7. 6Gun says:

    a great set of breasts

    CONVERSATIONALIST!

    nutsack

    Oh, that SO does it.  I’m outta here.  Bastards.

    No, this time I mean it.

  8. 6Gun says:

    And quit talking about me!

    tw: Physical.

  9. TODD says:

    “I’ll take the rain over the humidity.  Nutsack sticking to the side of my leg usually makes for a shitty Monday.”

    Here’s a tip for you natesnake, don’t wear your f’ng pants so tight …….

    If you can excuse me, I am going to throw up now, nice image…… sick

  10. SteveG says:

    You sure it’s the humidity?

  11. CraigC says:

    Dude, you can’t say “great set” and “breasts” in the same sentence.

    Words you can use with the phrase “great set”:

    hooters

    cans

    yabahees

    tits

    funbags

    jugs

    breasticles

    sweater melons

    Words you can use with “breasts”:

    nice

    lovely

    tempting

    aesthetically pleasing

    Spamword, “built.” Swear to God.

  12. Robb Allen says:

    Craig, you forgot “Chest appendages” and “blouse topography modifiers”

  13. Scott P says:

    Sounds like a fancy way of saying “joint-rolling and a Scooby-Doo marathon.”

    Too fricking funny, Benedick.  Way too fricking funny.

  14. Time and Tea says:

    Why bother with beer?  A hat that size could hold a small distillery.  Solar heat will produce distillate from the mash and an ice pack will condense it and cool your scalp.

    TW:  You can’t wear Billy Jack’s hat until you have walked a mile in his shoes, so buy the shoes first.

    T&T

  15. natesnake says:

    You sure it’s the humidity?

    Good point.  It could have been the smegma.

    **cue sounds of TODD vomiting**

  16. SarahW says:

    Hey, what shoes did Billy Jack wear?  Wasn’t he barefoot or something?

  17. JohnAnnArbor says:

    “Yabahees”?

  18. TODD says:

    “Hey, what shoes did Billy Jack wear?  Wasn’t he barefoot or something? “

    From what I remember from the Billy Jack movies, in the first movie he was barefoot in all the fight scenes, but wore cowboy boots when he rode. In the Born losers, I think he had the boots on.

    I still have a thing for white wide rim sunglasses though……

  19. Brian says:

    Pallywood

    A good investment of 18 minutes.

  20. Hosedragger says:

    Large mammalian protruberances

    Sweater Kittens

    Sin Pillows

    Fun Bags

  21. Benedick says:

    Scott P.—Gracias.  But probably my own internal baggage talking.

    Brian—Great call.  I was reminded of Pallywood as soon as I heard about the photo-doctorification (er, whatever).  And then I was re-reminded of it when, this morning, CNN (speaking of boobs and nutsacks) ran with a big story about 40 civilians being “massacred” by an Israeli airstrike yesterday, only to have that figure revised to 1.  But, of course, the whole “massacre” thing was out there already.

    Color me shocked.

  22. Brian says:

    But, of course, the whole “massacre” thing was out there already.

    And once it’s “in the air”, it’s you can’t eliminate the pollution.  Here in Los Angeles, there have been some minor local protests in support of Lebanon/Hezbollah, and the words that keep being spouted by the interviewees on the news stations are how the Israelis are conducting a “massacre” and “genocide”.

  23. Rusty says:

    Fer $300.00 it better give a damn good head.

  24. Stogie says:

    Jeff, you can buy Billy Jack hats at this site:

    http://www.villagehatshop.com/product412.html

    Price is only $42.

    Also try “Dirty Billy” hats (do an Ask.com search)if you really want authentic hats from different time periods.

  25. ed says:

    Hmmmm.

    Village Hat Shop

    $42

    Sizes: small, large.

    If you’ve got a Fred Flintstone sized noggin, then you’re SOL.

  26. Benedick says:

    Here in Los Angeles, there have been some minor local protests in support of Lebanon/Hezbollah, and the words that keep being spouted by the interviewees on the news stations are how the Israelis are conducting a “massacre” and “genocide”.

    Indeed.  I’ve been hearing the “genocide” and “ethnic cleansing” charges against Israel for years.  Which should be a reminder to us all that the Jews—despite having the guile and ruthlessness to seize control of the world’s economy and media—are decidedly inefficient when it comes to eradicating groups of “civilians.”

    (Stupid leaflets.)

  27. ed says:

    Hmmm.

    Well call me “Mr. Duplicate”.

  28. Robb Allen says:

    Also try “Dirty Billy” hats

    Not to be confused with ‘Dirty Sanchez Hats’.

    Totally different things.

  29. fletch says:

    ed-

    If you’ve got a Fred Flintstone sized noggin, then you’re SOL.

    Tell me about it!

    You know the baseball caps with the little plastic tabs in the back that are “one-size-fits-all”?

    They lied!

    T/W: Fits like a yarmulke on a beach ball

  30. Pixie Pug says:

    I don’t know why, but when I read “nutsack sticking to the side of my leg”

    My mind put it with the music “blackbird singing in the dead of the night”.

    TW:run

    with it

  31. Doesn’t anyone say “tits” anymore?

    and I think it’s pair of funbags.  You know; murder of crows, pair of funbags, pantload of money, sack of nuts…

    TW: get with the program.

  32. OregonMuse says:

    Doesn’t anyone say “tits” anymore?

    Mel Gibson does.  Only he uses the adjective “Sugar” with it.

  33. McGehee says:

    Of course, I was just making polite conversation while waiting for the elevator.

    They charged you $150 for that!?

    Prices have gone up.

  34. ed says:

    Hmmmm.

    They charged you $150 for that!?

    Prices have gone up.

    Actually they adjust prices downward depending on how hot a bod you’ve got.

    Naturally I normally get terrific discounts and only have to pay $200.

    sw: “lack”.  I got shivers.

  35. McGehee says:

    Actually they adjust prices downward depending on how hot a bod you’ve got.

    Oh, okay. So the $3.50 I have to pay is because I have a volcanically hot bod?

    Good to know.

  36. Carl W. Goss says:

    Kos rules!

Comments are closed.