So the kid and I are in Best Buy a few minutes ago—me to pick up Season 3 of “Reno 911,” him to knock headphones packaged in molded plastic off their hooks and scream gibberish in the direction of an Elmopalooza CD—when suddenly two employees in blue Best Buy polo shirts appear out of nowhere to tackle and subdue what I initially thought was one of those Kashmiri separatists everybody is so nervous about.
But it turns out it was just a teenager with heavy piercings and a copy of Van Wilder stuffed down the front of his shorts.
Still, as I watched him try to wriggle free of the Monster S-Vid cords the Best Buy Nazis had used to hogtie him, I couldn’t help but think, this is no longer my America. Damn you, George Bush. Damn you straight to hell!*
Developing…
I prefer narrow gauge speaker wire for hog-tying people who upset me in any way. I find it has more “bite.”
Your mileage may vary.
Only if you remove the insulation.
Jeff, you really are the funniest guy in the blogosphere! LOL. Thank you.
Don’t get the cable upgrade. Its usually a rip.
I think its time to boycott Best Buy. I think I am going to go on a 3 hour rolling hunger strike until Best Buy apologizes to the world.
FGW!
At least it was a movie that was worth thee risk. i mean… it could have been First Knight or something….
TW But I guess The <i>Sound/i> of Music would be too much to ask for.
I volunteer to give up the foie gras. I’m in Chicago and we can’t have it anyway.
Elmo was created to break the spirit of all true patriots.
Discuss.
The incident sounds like an episode of Reno 911. I think they used Belkin USB cables and a paintball gun was involved.
Well, that was fun.
The best part: I really liked when the dumb schmuck started screaming “ATTICA! ATTICA!” as they were loading him into the dumpster…
SB: feel
Your pain? Not hardly. Try Clinton.
Everyone complains about the Jack booted GWB government but no one points out that those S-Video cords would have been chromed of copper anywhere else. Here in America, they’re GOLD!
TW: open, as in those CD protection cases are a bitch to open with your teeth.
Free Mumia Free Mumia Free Mumia
( now the protestors have a new cause. We just need this asshat’s name!
But will the teenager be covered by the Geneva Convention?
TW: charge, as in he probably just forgot to charge it.
Mmmmm… I love the stuff… getting all I can before we rotate back in 3 weeks… must have liver… and saucisse sèche.
Is there no place in America where the long arm of the Rovian empire cannot reach? Damn Buscho
Now where is my GODDAMN PIE?????
BECAUSE OF TEH FASCISM!!!!!1!
TW: We got a couple of John Walker Lindhs in Aisle Five!
No. Instead, he will be protected by the Lake Geneva Convention, which requires he be given access to all the role-playing books and dice he wants.
So another innocent bites the dust, just like the guys in Miami and the New York “tunnel bombers”. When are the Homeland security people going to catch some real, experienced suicide bombers, is what I want to know.
Van Wilder?
I saw that in the bargain bin at Wally World at 2 for $5.
If I had known dude would risk jailtime for it, I woulda gone halvsies.
BTW:
What’s up with the multi-page comments?
Would be OK on my site where there is 1 comment every 47 posts, but on yours, it’s just a pain.
Ok, so I am not the first to say it. Yes, that multi page comments are a pain.
Jeff, those Best Buy employees were not Nazis, they were “dupes.”
All the Frischers are using that term now, because it’s, like, you know, really clever and everything.
Today, on her blog, Deb is chuckling about the video of Tucker and Menchaca, calling her murdered countrymen “decapped dupes.”
The woman positively glows with enlightenment, humanity, and moral superiority.
The pagination I can stand—it’s probably an important part of bandwidth control, especially on hundred-plus comment posts—but it would help if there was quick access to more than just three pages at a time.
I am relieved in ways you may never fathom to find that my Turing Word is “house” instead of “hizzouse”.
Jeff,
The article at your link starts by saying, “In a case that touches on several key aspects of academic freedom, the University of Wisconsin-Madison has come under fire for hiring an instructor who believes the 9/11 attacks were planned by the United States government to teach a course on Islam.”
I know the government has several inefficiencies, but why would they plan an attack to teach a course on Islam? That’s just silly!
HCT
And they canceled “Yes, Dear”
Damn you George Bush!!
New York tunnel bombers – zero. Big dig shoddy workmanship – one.
Frisch – priceless.
TW: evidence. Reading this stuff is evidence of needing a life. Continuing to comment is a guilty plea. Help!
Jeff,
Loss Prevention can be fun*, but only with backup from other in the store.
* Except for the time I was hit by a car, which was stolen.
It’s amazing the insanity our tax dollars are subsidizing. Why do I have to pay for this?
Well, it was intended to bring the message of Mo’ the Monster to the US.
I think I figured actus out.
He’s the sound of one urinal flushing.
Which is harder to do? Wheeling West Virginia, or Flushing New York?
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2006 Results are out!!!!!!
http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2006.htm
One of the funniest events ont all of AlGore’s web thing.
Runner-Up:
Stuart Vasepuru
Edinburgh, Scotland
I thnk I prefer second place to first place.
Hey – it’s Wisconsin
It’s not like anybody actually cares what those cheese-heads teach their kids.
SB: persons
of interest – NOT!
Hey – it’s Wisconsin
It’s not like anybody actually cares what those cheese-heads teach their kids.
Damnit! Socialism has to be taught somewhere!
Drove through Wisonsin on vacation a couple of weeks ago. Every highway interchange had a great big sign that read “CHEESE”, and every ten minutes I passed a billboard for a place advertising itself as “Home of the Butter Burger”. While I *WAS* taking a break from my diet, I didn’t want to take that big of a break…
Oh, and in Madison I had lamb curry that tasted just like Cincinnati chili. Even the belches later tasted like Skyline. Mind you, I love Cincy chili, but I wanted curry.
On the plus side, Aztalan and Man-Mound were cool.
N. O’Brain sez:
What a quandry. I had him pegged as the sound of one urinal backing up.
tw: Word to your mother.
Wait! They canceled “Yes, Dear”????
SON OF A BITCH!
Jeff
I’m listening to the podcast of your interview today and Dori briefly touched Barrett saying that not only does he believe 9/11 was in inside job, but also the Madrid bombing, Bali and the London bombing of 7/7.
And this … being … is being allowed to TEACH?
Brought to you by the same people who are so tolerant of Creation ‘science’.
The butter burger is a typical semi-fast food grill to order; the butter in the name is used in the baking of the bun and really doesn’t make that much difference in the flavor or feel of the whole assemblage. The diet killer there isn’t the burger but the frozen custard.
I call Bullshit! There’s NO Best Buy in Battle ground!
No need to check out my sources either. I’m using them, sort of.
I call Bullshit! There’s NO Best Buy in Battle ground!
No need to check out my sources either. I’m using them, sort of.
Darleen sez:
Yeah, but he’s teaching Islam. So, the bar isn’t set that high, really.
At least they weren’t Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.