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Former CBS anchorman Dan Rather takes a commuter flight from DC to New York

United Airlines counter attendant: “Any baggage today, Mr Rather?”

Rather: “”Yes, I have baggage.  I have the baggage of being a graduate of the journalism school of South Vietnam.” *

United Airlines counter attendant:

United Airlines counter attendant: “Uh, okay.”

United Airlines counter attendant: “Well, I’m fairly certain self-importance and unintended self-parody are considered carry-on items.  So you should be good to go, sir.”

****

(h/t Martin; see also, Hot Air)

44 Replies to “Former CBS anchorman Dan Rather takes a commuter flight from DC to New York”

  1. Paul says:

    or Sam Houston State University.

    That CBS gravy train turned out to have biscuit wheels with a pack of hungry dogs chasing it at dinner time.

  2. twolaneflash says:

    Still Rather fake, but accurate.  Dementia is a Rather terrible process to watch, like a train wreck in slow motion, only always in your living room.  Then again, Rather hilarious, in a Monty Pythonesque way.

  3. Giraffe says:

    I think she meant “I’m fairly certain….”

  4. But you can’t carry that ego onto the aircraft, it won’t fit into the box that all carry-on baggage must fit.

    Hell, it won’t fit through the cabin door.

  5. shank says:

    Dude, if I can’t carry my fingernail clippers on a commuter flight, then he shouldn’t be able to board with that kind of garbage with him either.  Imagine the danger to passengers and crew should he lose control those two items!

  6. JohnAnnArbor says:

    But you can’t carry that ego onto the aircraft, it won’t fit into the box that all carry-on baggage must fit.

    And it might explode at the low pressures of high altitude flight.

  7. twolaneflash says:

    Damn Apostrophe!  Always sneaking up behind you and yelling “boo!”, and your fingers fly all over the keyboard.  Then it’s ‘this ‘n ‘that.  ‘N then the ‘nazis are always choose just that moment to come around with their ‘grammar check and ‘spell check.  Death to ‘!  Curse you, ‘.

  8. Rusty says:

    Dan who?

    Business class, right?

  9. ahem says:

    He sounds as bitter as a Brownsville hooker.

  10. me says:

    I think she meant “I’m fairly certain….”

    Sexist!

  11. Rob B. says:

    He sounds madder than a steer in a loose cow pasture.

  12. Mark says:

    Blather is due for his 13’th recore, wherein medical professionals shove a cooked ham up his ass and pull the bone out.

  13. “Yes, I have baggage,” he said. “I have the baggage of being a graduate of the journalism school of South Vietnam.”

    He’s right, in a sense he doesn’t understand.  His baggage is being a hippy wannabe who was part of a movement that through protest, political pressure and news media (a sort of soft terrorism) managed to demolish our war effort, cripple the country, and take down a president.

    He’s carrying that around as a template of success, that’s what he thinks journalism is about and what it’s for, rather than the accurate reporting of events.  That’s the baggage he carries.

  14. Giraffe says:

    Sexist!

    It ocurred to me, too late, that he/she/it might not be female.  I guess I am a sexist.  Oh well, I guess there are worse things.

  15. ahem says:

    He sounds as loose as a cow in steerage.

  16. Tai Chi Wawa says:

    “Yes, I have baggage,” he said. “I have the baggage of being a graduate of the journalism school of South Vietnam.”

    “No, really. My Phat Ly.”

  17. natesnake says:

    “CBS is a large corporation . . . with a chain of command that looks like the wiring of a nuclear plant . . . The difference [at HDNet] is that the chain of command begins and ends with me. With ‘Dan Rather Reports’ I have creative and editorial control.”

    Rather went on to say, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Light.  All who oppose me will be crushed under my boot and beaten with my flacid cock.”

    Deb Frisch was unavailable for comment.

  18. Sticky B says:

    CBS evidently has been the beneficiary of Dan’s South Vietnam journalism degree. Cause by the time he left they had Dun Bin Phucd

  19. The_Real_JeffS says:

    He [Dan Rather] told one critic: “Some of what you describe as ‘baggage’ comes from people who have the following view: Their view is, ‘You report the news the way I want it reported or I’m going to make you pay a price and hang a sign around your neck saying you’re a bomb-toting Bolshevik or something.’”

    Dan, a bomb-toting Bolshevik?  Please!  Never would I think of him as a bomb-toting Bolshevik. 

    I think of him as an ancient, emotionally driven, card-carrying hippy, forced to wear a suit and tie by THEM™ (and we all know who THEY™ are, don’t we?) in order to eat. 

    Any bomb-toting needs doing, Rather would be contracting that out.  There are somethings The Man don’t do, y’hear?  mad

    TW: Dan Rather needs a life.

  20. Hannity's sock drawer says:

    I think Dan still hasn’t run out of the Thai Stix he pick up back in journalism class in ‘68.

    Sweet!

    TW: Head, whoa!

  21. McGehee says:

    I think they would have made him check his ego with his suitcase.

    Oh what am I saying, this is Dan Rather. They would have made him charter a fleet of jets.

  22. McGehee says:

    Any bomb-toting needs doing, Rather would be contracting that out.

    Which is why Kenneth needed to know the frequency.

  23. Sean M. says:

    South Vietnam J-School football rules!!!

  24. twolaneflash says:

    Rejected by America, Danny limps off to Canada like the limp-dick draft dodgers of the ‘60s, deluding themselves that they are heroes and patriots.  Jimmah Carter, lost in his Alzheimer’s time machine, will issue a pardon between his episodes of seditious idiocy.  I’m sure that I can say that I am ashamed that Jimmah Carter is from my home state of Georgia without incurring Ditzy Tricks-like rejection.  Thank God Zell Miller also lives here.  Now that’s a ticket I’d pay a premium to get:  Zell vs Dan; what an ass-whoopin’ that would be.  A true American Marine vs a lying-“Stolen Valor”-discharged-after-four-months-couldn’t-cut-it-but-I’ll-tell-everybody-I’m-a-Marine-piece-of-shit.  Call Give ‘em Hell Zell and let’s start the ticket sales!!

  25. Phil Smith says:

    Just to preempt the bullshit that will eventually start up:

    Christopher Taylor, the hippies had nothing to do with Nixon.  Neither, in the final analysis, did the press.  He was felled by his own hand.  Revision of his mendacity isn’t really helpful to anyone, except as propaganda.

  26. Paul says:

    He’s really tripping if he thinks he’s in charge of much. He’s an action figure in Mark Cuban’s toybox.

  27. It’s a shame when you’ve got a great turing word and nothing really to say, so you just can’t use it.

    tw: door. Let me show you the door, Mr. Rather.

  28. utron says:

    This might actually be a good thing, like watching Daniel Schorr morph from a Watergate martyr to a progressively (and I use that adverb deliberately) more grating and annoying commentator on CNN and NPR. Up til now, the Left could point to Rather as a great journalist who was savaged by the pajamaheddin.  Now he’s holding forth on who-gives-a-rat’s-ass HDNet, and by 2012 he’ll be even older, shriller and more obnoxious as he harangues a tiny audience of superannuated Aquarians from his vlog sponsored by Indymedia.

  29. Karl says:

    It’s a shame when you’ve got a great turing word and nothing really to say, so you just can’t use it.

    Indeed.

    tw: attack.  Rather not so much under one as having one.

  30. stoo says:

    Any bomb-toting needs doing, Rather would be contracting that out.

    I understand that Mary Mapes might be available.

  31. McGehee says:

    Zell vs Dan; what an ass-whoopin’ that would be.

    Zell would bring the dueling pistols he offered to supply for Chris Matthews—remember that?

    There is only one recent Democrat officeholder I’ve ever regretted voting against, and Zell’s the one.

  32. Revision of his mendacity isn’t really helpful to anyone, except as propaganda.

    So?  Why should the “Nixon’s War” Democrats have all the fun?

  33. Now he’s holding forth on who-gives-a-rat’s-ass HDNet, and by 2012 he’ll be even older, shriller and more obnoxious as he harangues a tiny audience of superannuated Aquarians from his vlog sponsored by Indymedia.

    See Thomas, Helen.

  34. Dan Collins says:

    Zell and Liebermann.  Liebermann and Zell.

    2008

    Gay Moose Party

  35. Phil Smith says:

    You know how it is, Charlie; so many fucktards, so little time.  I’d just as soon have as little of mine as possible wasted by having to scroll through their inevitable St. Vitus’ keyboarding, and so hope to give them fewer excuses.

    I’ve got work to do, after all—I can’t find Verc to give him the keys to the napalm cabinet back.  He’s been punished enough.

  36. Christopher Taylor, the hippies had nothing to do with Nixon.  Neither, in the final analysis, did the press.  He was felled by his own hand.  Revision of his mendacity isn’t really helpful to anyone, except as propaganda.

    Indeed, but to men like Rather, they believe they took down a president by their protests, truthiness, and news media like the “pentagon papers” CBS special.  And that’s the point, he’s carrying that around as baggage, he believes the hype and that’s his template for dealing with everything now.

  37. LionDude says:

    At the end of every HDNet show ol’ Dan should put his audience at ease by looking straight into the camera and say:

    “Baggage.”

    Roll credits.

  38. twolaneflash says:

    You’re right Phil Smith.  Nixon’s paranoia got the best of him.  He was way ahead in the polls and later was re-elected by a wide margin.  Nixon’s media experience (humiliation) from the 1960 Presidential campaign against JFK was acid on his ego for the rest of his life.  The Demo-machine, especially the Chicago engine, imbedded his paranoia deeply into his psyche; he never recovered from it.  That Prada-wearing devil who was Director of the FBI played to that paranoia, as did the politicos closest to Nixon.  The Watergate burglary was absolutely unnecessary.  Suicide.

  39. MarkD says:

    Anybody seen Dan and Helen Thomas in the same room?  Just asking.

    TW:  firm.  Jeff, stop it!

  40. Matt, Esq. says:

    Journalists don’t think they are doing “their job” unless they’re making the news. 

    Making the news = Pulitzer.  Tried and true formula. 

    “matters”- Dan Rather no longer matters.

  41. Darleen says:

    JAYSUS, how long is Ra<sup>th</sup>er going to keep dining out on his “I was in VIETNAM” stories?

    Could we just put him and Kerry in the same room and shut it tight? Think of how fast the oxygen level would drop in that space.

  42. strMark says:

    Goldstein;

    Dan Rather is a very important man and a national treasure. From the Kennedy assassination until the Iraq war we know what we know because of Dan.

    Don’t you know that?

    TW: cold…..you are one cold dude.

  43. Imsnooping says:

    A long story made not-so-long….

    My father-in-law was an infantryman in Vietnam.  His unit was camped up at a place that field commanders were deciding was getting too dangerous.  A decision was made to pack up and most the post very early in the morning.

    After the unit had been moving for 4 or 5 hours the next morning, my father-in-law’s commander began asking if anybody had seen the two journalists that had been at the post with them.  Nobody had—and they figured that the journalists may have been left behind.

    He asked my father-in-law and another man to go back to look for them—that the zone was extremely dangerous and infested with NVA.  Several hours later, my father-in-law and his partner found the two journalists, alone, frightened, and not terribly sure what to do.

    It was Dan Rather and a CBS cameraman.

    Some years later, my F-i-L tried to contact Mr. Rather regarding this incident.  True to form, Rather and all his pseudo-heroics, never even responded.

  44. Well, you know, they had to sneak out to talk to their VC contacts and got left behind.  Sorry that’s uncharitable but sometimes you wonder.

Comments are closed.