Popped into Starbuck’s to pick up a can of double shot espresso—I like to mix it with the flask of Kahlúa I keep in the glove compartment for those long rides home from Super Target—and it struck me that every person in the store was blindingly white. In fact, had the employees been wearing tux shirts and bow ties rather than brown baseball caps and Starbuck’s polos, it would have looked a lot like a John Kerry barbecue. Or Maureen Dowd’s bikini lines.
Anway, I’m not sure how much significance to give to any of this—after all, the place is typically teeming with progressives, who love them some minorities—so if I had to speculate, I’d say that maybe there was something about biscotti that frightens the Other.
Either that, or they just don’t dig the six dollar coffees. Which, let’s face it, are mostly just foam anyway.
Developing…
I popped into Starbucks just to get me a lift,
Deb Frisch the stuff you said put and end to you.
I got up this morning and I wrote down this shit,
I just can’t remember whom to send this to–
Oh, I’ve seen comment, and I’ve seem spam,
I’ve seen stuff that’s posted by the Angry Clam,
I’ve seen waffle cones and I’ve bought a whole smoked ham,
But I always thought that I’d not give a damn.
“always” should be “never”
Dowd’s bikini lines
Goldstein, you suck.
I’ve never seen a progressive “with” a minority except for a photo op.
Back in late April, I went into a Whole Foods store for the purpose of sight seeing with a friend from out of town. We later went to a Starbuck’s. Not one or more ethnic minority was seen at either.
We then spent four day at Jazz Fest in New Orleans. There were a lot of “Hate Bush” people, but I only saw a few minorities within the Fairgrounds gates.
It could be that true progressives are not really the outdoor types and stay out of the sun too much causing a Michael Jackson syndrome in more ways that one.
Maybe, they should supplement all Starbuck’s coffee with a large dose of vitamin D.
$6 for a coffee!!!
I feel cheated when I pay more than 1 euro!!
– although London is £2 or more (about $3-4) – and I don’t see any Starbucks here … although we have a McDonalds which is attractive for some families with children – but with local “Bodegas” a stroll away I don’t think Ray Kroc would have got rich in Spain .. unless he could do a three course takeaway “menu al dia” (with drinks) for less that 7 euros …
That’s what’s known as a “hint,” Jeff. I mean, unless you’re concerned about the truthiness quotient.
Mo Dowd and bikini in the same sentence….
Made me feel like I had eaten that buried salmon head.
I need to go rinse now.
Mo Dowd in a bikini??
Hey, no torture, please!!
RaLph sez:
You might want to try a hotel.
Or find a desperate, crazy white lady who be loving her some minorities.
Oh, Pablo
You made me look!
What Pablo said!
Pablo, You got the “crazy white” part correct.
Cindy is a certified member of the Prozac for lunch bunch minus the Prozac. Howard is too.
Biscotti! They have biscotti? Man, there’s nothing I like more than a good bunch of biscotti.
I hear it clears the room out of the coloreds too.
You need something stronger for joos tho’.
There are a ton of Starbuck’s in New York City and I’ve been to many of them, just because it’s a convenient way to get coffee on the go (the decline of New York delis is a scandal to be discussed another time.) And there are always plenty of minorities there. Right behind the counter.
Oh, that’s just ducky. They’re all making that dead (opposite of “living”) minimum wage serving snooty white folks.
Meanwhile, over at the front page of dkos, there is nary a word to be found about Lebanon or Israel or Hizbullah. Or Howard Dean*, for that matter. It almost seems as though they don’t want to talk about it.
Oh, and they’re flogging Greenwald and framing talk of treason prosecutions here as “increasingly violent rhetoric”.
And Markos is angry at the NYT. He thinks their standards are slipping. I’ll let you figure out why.
*Dean money quote:
tw: progress
That thing kicks ass!
Daniel Schoor, I eat biscotti to
Destroy the power you possess
Sometimes I almost forget to chew,
When I’m concerned there might be other Jews!
For my peace of mind I’m almost always kind
When people state you are a schnorer
Then you let youself unwind and once again I find
You’re Daniel Schoor
In you I have what other men long for;
All men need someone to distance and abhor.
That’s why they raise you up and place you high above,
Because to leftists that’s the meaning of love . . .
And there ain’t nothing I can do about it . . .
Daniel Schoor, they love you because
You really are an idiot
Sometimes I could spend my whole life with you
Just to find another nit to pick!
Yo, bro, true this:
Magic Johnson owns 100+ Starbucks in the hood. He told me you wouldn’t find any biscotti or crumpets in his stores, but you’ll find some fine sweet potato pie. Marketing, Dude! Know thy demographics.
Only the ones who hate poor and black people but not Jews (because we’re almost never poor or black). ‘Round these parts, real progressives go to Caribou, where they’re safe from the vulgar predations of all three.
(This, of course, has nothing to do with CAIR’s (and associated leftist groups’ ) antisemitic (/antiglobalist) early-2000s boycott-Starbucks campaign(s), during which it was commanded that all good Muslims (/progressives) switch from Starbucks to Caribouâ€â€which campaign(s) died down (coincidentally) when Starbucks closed its last store in Israel, circa 2003.)
I don’t go to either, because their shit is weak, and the music they play is that sappy sorority-girl/car-commercial crap rich Democrats like.
McDonald’s still sells the good stuff for about forty cents, you can’t hear the muzak over the employees shouting at each other like a DMX/Lil’ Rob rap battle, and there aren’t forty assholes sitting around writing in journals and posing with new laptops and Mercedes-logo keyrings. Which is nice.
I’d fuck her because I’m highminded enough to not let my personal political views interfere with banging willing good looking women. I’m fiercely independent that way.
Goddammit, Pablo. It takes time to work out all the details so everybody’s on the same page when those inscrutable middle-eastern types keep acting up like they were independent actors (notice the subjunctive).
I mean, f’r’effin’chrissakes, there was The Narrative, it was going fine, those November elections were sneaking up, and then Bam!, Iran decides a sternly worded letter from the Security Council is serious and tells its niggers in South Lebanon to make some trouble, then Bam! Israel, outta the effin’ blue, with a bunch of lefties in charge (no less) all of a sudden decides, that’s enough and then Bam! the Saudis don’t do the standard condemn Israel line.
This is some complicated shit to work out and the least you could do is can the snark and wait while everyone gets to the same page.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. . .
Additional visual: little red bikini spiders.
She always intended to wax later.
Isn’t there some kind of Dodson poem about the canning of the snark? Denny, when you were up in Alaska . . .
Thinking about it, the cost for buzz factor might be in favor of Crack over Starbuck’s coffee. There is a point to be made, but it might be pointless to make.
Ya see, Paco? If evil conservative blogs like The National Review, Just One Minute and Protein Wisdom hadn’t ruined Townhouse for decent folks, they’d have their talking points straightened out much sooner!
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
MY EYES MY EYES!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
tw: married as in:
If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.
– – – Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill)
If you were my wife, I’d drink it.
– – Winston Churchill, in reply
– I knew Bush was making a mistake when he offered the Iranians that perk package last week…. Never fails….
Fuck Starbucks. I gotta wait ten minutes while some Lilith Fair remnant makes some kinda half caf, half chai, lactose free mocha latte for another Lilith Fair remnant?!? And no, we can’t use the white sugar, gotta use that turbinado shit. And Jesus, the music in there could make Jack Bauer menstruate.
If you want a real cup of joe, head to Dunkin’ Donuts, or, better still, Waffle House, where you can still get a cup served to you in a scuzzy, ancient poreclain cup, sometimes with lipstick still on it. Now that‘s coffee.
Heineken?!? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!!
Jeff, it’s a Denver thing. Or maybe a West of the Pecos thing. Next time you fly through the Houston airport, you’ll see what I mean. Houston being the non-minoritiest place in the south. You could fly elsewhere in the South, but you’d just think you were outside the 33% margin of error.
drk,
You’d have to pay me a Euro to drink that shit. Those people are stuck on bitter. Give me Dunkin Donuts any time.
BTW, if anyone wants a winner, a Dunkin Donuts at the Frankfurt station would be it. There is not a decent cup of coffee to be had in the place, and lots of people who know better.
I’m not touching the Maureen Dowd (my keyboard keeps typing “Down” for obvious reasons) comments. I’d poison my own coffee and drink it first.
I popped into Starbucks just to get me a lift,
D*b Fr*sch the stuff you said put and end to you.
Give it a rest, Dan. It’s like saying “Candyman” in front of the mirror, y’know?
Use your powers for Good, young Collins. You know the Carmina Burana? Specifically, “O Fortuna”? I’ve been trying to fit a biscotti song to that melody for years. This is as far as I’ve gotten:
Old John Gotti
Ate biscotti
Pathetic, no? You can probably do better. Give it a try!
Denver I agree with. I’ve visited there several times and its the whitest city (I’ve ever been to) in the USA. Houston, though, is so diverse that you obviously have never been to the city itself and only hung out in its airport. Houston’s about 30% each black, white, and latino, with 10% or so Asian and other. There is a Chinatown, Koreatown, Viettown, Little Italy—pretty much every single nationality has a neighborhood in Houston. There is no majority in Houston—everyone’s a minority.
Timmies! You cannot beat a good old everyday Tim Hortons coffee. Canada’s national food @ $CDN1.30 for a large.
Plus, everyone goes to Timmies. You’ll run into everyone from the rich snots to the town drunk in a Tims lineup and a Tims lineup doesn’t take more than a minute or so.
Xteacher…too much time at the Starbar!
Angie–
Thanks. I was out of line again. I’ll give it a whack. I do like the idea of a woman singing for tuna, though.
In fact, in the unlikely event that I ever go to see it performed, I think I’ll bring some cans of the stuff.
Kahlúa’s great.
So’s Ms Dowd.
Modern incarnation of Jane Austen. Max wit.
Wondering. If Maureen Dowd is the modern equivalant of Jane AUsten, then who in Jane Austen’s novels is the Regency equivalent of that insufferable bitch Ann Coulter?
$10.00 goes to Jeff’s house fund for anyone who comes up with the best (in my opinion) answer. Gimme you’re reasons.
If you don’t wanna post it, then email me at
Speaking of which, you readers who haven’t contributed to Jeff’s house, get going and start contributing, house prices ain’t stayin’ still ya know….
Actually Dude, Maureen Dowd’s a pretty good looking woman if you can get past the bluster. One wonders if she would be inclined to be civil on a date, since she constantly seems to lament the lack of husband type people in her life.
I avoid Starbucks like the plague. Too many gothicked, patchoulied zombies. No thanks.
Just came in here to condemn Dan Collins and Big E.
That is all
TW: people, as in;
You people are just too much, sometimes.
Mr. Darcy, from Pride & Prejudice.
Reasons:
Rich, arrogant snob. Somewhat aloof, initially grating on everyone he encounters, but you could fall in love with him, given the chance. Or not.
TW: it took a moment to figure out which character I thought would be best.
Sorry Warlock, gotta be a Regency insufferable bitch…