From the Toronto Sun:
Being a member of a terrorist organization won’t necessarily land someone on Canada’s no-fly list, The Canadian Press has learned.
Proposed criteria would limit inclusion on the roster to those who pose “an immediate threat to aviation security,” Transport Canada internal briefing notes say.
Draft regulations, disclosed by a source familiar with details of the plan, confirm the no-fly list will be tightly focused and reviewed every 30 days to keep it up to date.
“You cannot be put on the list on the sole basis that you’re a member of a ‘terrorist group,’” the source said. “In addition, you have to be a demonstrable threat to aviation safety.”
[…] The source said that under the proposed regulations, people involved in a terrorist group—either now or in the past—could be added to the list only if there were reason to suspect they may “compromise civil aviation, the security of any aircraft or aerodrome, or the safety of the public, passengers or crew.”
—Which reasons do not, evidently, include the fact that you happen to be, well, a FUCKING TERRORIST!
Political correctness taken to its logical extreme? I’m tempted to say so—after all, what this legislation suggests is that you can’t be treated as a terrorism risk simply because you happen to be, you know, a FUCKING TERRORIST!—but after giving it a bit of thought, it occurs to me that there is another (better) explanation.
This legislation is Canadian.
And let’s face it: the last useful thing Canadians did was lend us the centerpiece to the Egg McMuffin.
****
(h/t Allah, who has much more)
You don’t know how bad I want to drop the f-bomb on HA, dude.
Just one time, I want to call them FUCKING TERRORISTS.
I’m half a man because of it.
They still call airports “aerodromes”?
Does this mean Gerry Adams is now free to celebrate St. Patty’s Day in both New York AND Toronto?
I know a certain former teacher who would advise using “ephing”, Allah.
But that’s just dorky.
“Did you pack this bag yourself, sir?”
“Yes, but please be careful with it. The altimeter’s very delicate. If I miss this flight, can I catch the next one? I’m going to run over to Starbucks.”
Allah, sublimate. Photoshop something.
Okay, I’ll show my ignorance. The key component to an Egg McMuffin is what exactly?
I don’t get out much…
“Mr. Rashid Al-Arabi, paging Mr. Rashid Al-Arabi. The Hezbollah party is waiting for you at the white courtesy desk.”
What lack of sensibilities led to this shitty decision? If you’re a member of a terrorist organization, or have ties to them, chances are pretty definite that you are, in fact, a terrorist. The last place you should be is on a plane.
TW: they’ve crossed yet another line, those bastards
Bacon, rsm, bacon…for mcGriddles, it might be maple syrup…mmmmmmmm, syrup.
Stewardess: …Ummm sir…. excuse me….may I see your boarding pass please?
Mohammed: … Allah Akbar… I know its here some place miss… I’m sure its in my carry on in the toiletries pocket with my tooth paste and box cutter…Could you hold my rocket launcher for a moment?
Stewardess: Ohhh….I’m so sorry sir…You’ll have to deplane I’m afraid….Toothpaste tubes are on the not-allowed list….
Canadian Bacon
TW: That’s a personal question
Jesus, I really am stupid. Long work day…
Lend? They loaned us Canadian bacon? Does this mean we have pay it back? With interest? Or they take it back?
Jeezus, this changes everything…
That would seem to obviously fit the definition they use.
Canadian bacon is ahaped the way it is because the Cannuks can’t figure out where those little strips are at in the pig.
… and maple syrup too? Goddammit all, we can’t have some other country, a bunch of ephin’ furriners owning our breakfasts.
What next? Lunch? Sandwiches?
When the fasten seatbelts sign is extinguished, you are free to use the aisles. The stewardess will point out the direction of Mecca. Prayer rugs are available in the overhead bins in the forward compartment.
Up till now, I have really tried to give the Canuks the benefit of the doubt, without much success I might add.
But now, it seems my initial snap judgement was correct.
The Newfies crossbred with the Kay-bekkers.
TW:ill
Nuff said.
Too bad the Sun scooped the NYT. Had the latter picked up the story first, we could have been treated to a complete list of who’s actually on the list and an accounting of how we got their names.
TW: I imagine Canadian flight schools will observe similar circumspection in their efforts not to offend our terrorist brethren.
Being a member of a terrorist organization won’t necessarily land someone on Canada’s no-fly list, The Canadian Press has learned.
I think I’m more surprised that Canada’s able to muster up enough !intolerance! to actually call *any* organization ‘terrorist’ than anything else. . .
You missed:
This is so FUCKING HUMILIATING
tw: It speaks volumes.
Seventy-two virgins appear in Paradise,
Seventy-two virgins appear,
You take one down, pass her around
Seventy-one virgins remain in Paradise.
Mexican or halal? Here you go. Mexican or halal?
People would also be considered for the list if they have:
– Been convicted of one or more serious and life-threatening crimes against civil aviation, meaning a public air carrier, in Canada or abroad.
– Attempted to commit an offence or offences related to civil aviation.
– Been convicted of one or more violent criminal offences and have a motive to attack or harm an air carrier.
– Been determined, based on their behaviour or actions, to constitute an immediate threat to civil aviation.
So those knobs that wanted to blow shit up and saw off the PM’s head would be ok to fly? I mean, he’s not like a pilot or anything.
Its on their government’s website
C’mon, guys, it’s all about the civil aviation. It wouldn’t be civil to get all judgy about it. Now, on the other hand, if you’ve merely shot off a rocket or two against evilwarmongerunitedstates aircraft, that’s a different matter.
I wouldn’t want to be the Canadian government spokesman who has to explain, after a plane is blown up and hundreds of people die, why they allowed a known terrorist to board the plane in the first place.
However, say that a US citizen was a member of a known terrorist group but the government was not able to prosecute him/her for a crime. Could the government deny a US citizen the ability to fly on that basis alone? I don’t know but it would seem there might be a civil rights issue there. I guess on reflection that might be the reasoning behind the make up of the Canadian no fly list.
You mean, like that junkie from Oasis?
– Just some heavy handed sneaky way to increase air insurance sales.
Does this mean that Saddam Hussein has taken over Canada again?
And I miss you dropping the F-bomb on anybody and anything, Allah (Peaches Be Upon You)
Let’s review our northern neighbor’s lending practices:
They lend us Canadian bacon – we give them McMuffins.
They lend us hockey – we give them the Avalanche, Red Wings, and Devils.
We lend them the NBA – they give us the Raptors.
We lend them baseball – they give us the Expos.
We lend then football – they give whatever the hell they’ve done to it.
This is the most friggin’ one way relationship since us and France.
BTW- Jeff, I’ve got the grill as hot as it goes. The salmon aren’t melting.
So the Blind Sheik presumably gets a pass because he can’t see well enough to pilot the plane?
tw: water. It looks like the water’s coming up pretty fast on the left.
Hey..let’s be fair..Canada does supply us with a plethora of B, C and D list actors.
OH NOOOO! Not the salmon again!!
I read somewhere that all the 72 virgins look like Helen Thomas.
True,
But them unleashing Bryan Adams warrants carpet bombing.
At least the Mezicans can do stuff with my drywall.
Big and Buckeye … we also gave you Celine Dion.
This is war, dammit!
OK, OK
Look, if we scrape Neil Young up and shove him back across the border can we call it even?
Well, bu wait a minute. I think Trisha Helfer’s from Canada. And so’s Evangeline Lilly.
And Mike Miers, but that’s a different category. And that Jeopardy guy of course. And William Shatner. He’s hilarious.
Ingrate.
If you keep Clinton and Gore where they belong, I might consider it.
Just leave Shania out of it, eh.
I appreciate all of that.
But look at the balance:
Canada contributes glaciers, polite tourists, crappy TV personalities, sappy singers (sorry Neil) and syrup.
WE, on the other hand, gave the world the ‘57 Chevy, Reggie Miller, Johnie Bench, improved pizza, the Winchester ‘76 and Kentucky Bourbon.
‘nuff said.
TW: strength through ass woopin’
From Calgary ,
You`all got yer New York Slimes, we got`s us ours
Toronto Scum(and the Red Star,aka the Toronto Star). There are three centers of this insanity,
Toronto,Montreal and Vancouver, see the Jan 23 2006 federal election results if you need confirmation.
Moosehead, don’t forget that,eh.
Why do they do it “doggy style” in Canada?
So they can both watch the hockey game on TV, eh.
We`ve apologised repeatedly for Brian Adams,Shatner`s your problem tho!
I admit to liking Bryan Adams. But I was there when “Cuts Like a Knife” changed pop music forever!
Jeff,
“Cuts Like A Knife” ,might have been cool 20 odd
years ago…. but being 41 and “cut by a knife”
recently it`s lost it`s allure.
You do deserve some credit for keeping Quebec.
(How do we know we won the French and Indian War? They had to keep Quebec.)
Charlie … think of all the great fishing you could have had if you’d just tried a little harder. We’d have understood. Really.
Denny Crane? Canadian? OMG! Another pixelated hero brought low by a reality check. But that’s not the same as a pre-flight security check, now is it? Okay, I’ll whisper it anyway:
Denny Crane
Pass the Scotch and cigars, please. I’m feeling the night terrors coming back.
But can it get me bumped up to business class? Or at least a second bag of freaking peanuts?
When they come to take my flyrod, they’re going to have to pull it out of my cold, dead hands.
In college I used to have my rod in my hands pretty much all of the time…but people complained I was grossing them out.
That was great.
After the last round I took the Tivoli and the Ipod out onto the deck for a little Heart of Gold.
Drunk much? Yep.
Oseaghdha,
I’ll grant you one on Moosehead and Labbatt’s. It’s the cause of much discussion whether that’s pure dumb luck or skill.
gahrie,
Yeah, okay. But how fly is it?
CAIR,
Man, it’s getting old.
We register fly rods here Dan. Fly rods kill trout, not people dammit.The problem remains though,after spending billions of taxpayer loot on the National Fly Rod Registry,not one single fish killer has bothered to register their fly rods.Personally, I did but only because SAGE guarantees them for life against breakage.
They sent us Bobby Clarke.
For that alone I will forgive Canada just about anything.
The Honourable Lawrence Cannon, Minister of Transport, Infrastructure and Communities:
Mr. Cannon holds a Bachelor of Arts in political science from l’Université de Montréal and a master’s in business administration from l’Université Laval.
Louis Ranger, Deputy Minister of Transport, Infrastructure and Communities:
Louis Ranger received his bachelor’s degree in economics from the University of Ottawa, and his master’s degree in economics from the Université de Montréal.
Guy Mc Kenzie, Associate Deputy Minister of Transport, Infrastructure and Communities:
A native of Verdun, Quebec, Mr. Mc Kenzie obtained a licence in law and a graduate degree in notarial law from Laval University in 1978 and subsequently practiced law in the Montreal area.
HAT TRICK !!!
They gave us curling as an Olympic sport. Ingrates.
Actually, every Canadian I’ve met is decent. I can’t imagine how they ended up with such a wierd government. Strike that, most Americans I know are decent, and look at Washington.
That curling has got to be a joke. I think they got together and said what is the wierdest “sport” we can add to the Olympics. Ice Fishing? Nah, that won’t fly. Lacrosse? No, gotta be a winter sport, besides real athletes play lacrosse. I know, shuffleboard, on ice.
We’ll use irons. No, stones. With handles. Funny, nobody’d believe that. Stone’s too heavy to push – we’ll make them bowl with it. On skates.
Cool. How about they knock down pins?
Nah, too much like bowling. You have to land it in a circle.
And curling was born.
The iron is still missing. The Canadians are still laughing. Somewhere in America, someone is thinking “I can get an Olympic medal in this. My picture on a Wheaties box. My ticket to fame and fortune.”
We gave you basketball. Quit whining.
tw: We get results.
Red Green was curling with cars one time.
They do have Saskatoon, Sissiboo Falls, and Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump.
So, who knows? It’s just Canada.
And Flin Flon, Bobby Clarke’s home towm.
Did you know that Bobby Clarke broke Valeri Kharmalov’s ankle?
That’s what those Rus get for naming a guy Valerie, as far as I’m concerned. Admittedly, that’s not far.
I kinda liked Strange Brew.
You just can’t make up anything as silly as Canada.
This has a bit more meat on the bones. Doesn’t come off sounding any more like a good idea, I’m afraid.
And c’mon, I can’t be the only person here who likes Rush. I’m a bass player; it’s, like, a legal requirement.
Hello?
Classic. Eh?
My favorite Canadiens.
<sniff> <sniff>
Hmmmm.
I smell the deadening stench of the previous Liberal government on this one. The Conservatives probably haven’t gotten around to wiping out this particular idiocy yet.
After all, they inherited a civil service that was lousy with idiocies, all courtesy of Uncle Jean Cretin and Paul “Mr. Dithers” Martin.
It takes time…
Did you miss the regime change in Ottawa, Jeff? Here’s the new prime minister, Stephen Harper. He’s no Liberal (or liberal):
No, I quoted Harper the other day. But unfortunately, he hasn’t yet put a stop to this kind of idiocy.
So he’s only provisionally macho at this point.
Q: Why did God make Alaska?
A: To keep all the drunk Canadians from falling into the Bering Sea.
Say what you will about Molson’s or Labatts but a REAL beer (and, a pity it is, we don’t have anything comparable in the States) is Big Rock Traditional! The other stuff is panther piss just like Bud (and Coors, and Miller, and on the list goes) that we strain through a sock down here.
They lend us their actors and rock stars–and we keep ‘em!
Turing = least, as in except for the least of them, like Triumph & Trooper & such.
If he hasn’t blown himself up before, you’ve got to give a guy the benefit of the doubt, eh?
Mmmmmm, Big Rock. Calgary born and bred.
‘Scuse me. I hear my fridge calling me…
I can’t hold much enmity for a country that gave us such diverse musical styles ranging from Gordon Lightfoot to Loverboy to April Wine to Chilliwack. And that bitch Anne Murray too.
Seriously, though, I will be forever in the GWN’s debt for SCTV and Kids in the Hall. Brain Candy is vastly underrated.
Jeff,
You Yanks still have us beat in the treasonous moonbat dept. We still have nothing to compare to the New York Times!
Oh come on, folks, give ‘em a break. The Canadian government simply doesn’t want to be seen as… as… terroristismists. -ians.
But Canadian politics aside, Canada is the nicest hat America could have.
yours/
peter.
(And that bitch Anne Murray too!)
This is fine by me, as long as they stamp “FUCKING TERRORIST” on their foreheads in bright red ink.
SB: present
a PONY?…
Perhaps AC needs a new motto:
“Air Canada –alQaeda’s Favourite Airline!”
Then, in order to make their ‘favourite pax’ feel more comfortable flying in and out of Canada, AC should change their MapleLeaf logo on their tail to that of a Crescent and Sword.
Maybe it’s time for me to fly up to Canada again. Once I was detained and fined for trying to come in for a day to run a meeting, by request of Canadians, in a Canadian sub of a US company that was a client. NO WORK PERMIT … By the time they offloaded all my cash to pay the fine, I lacked cab fare and had to rent a car. Warning was that if I ever tried something equally egregious I would be prosecuted and jailed (with Celine and Shatner duets piped into the cell).
But NOW I’d simply tell the border guys I flew in to sit quietly in a meeting of a terrorist cell that had no intention of blowing up anything in or around aerodomes. And ask for cab fare to the mosque. “No problem, can we help you with your bags, sir?”
– McGehee – I want you to know I ruined a perfectly good pare of twany Jodpors on that one, curtesy of a bowl of JoJo Garcia’s green halopena salsa, thank you very much….. (everyones a damn comedian – unfortunately some are even funny)….
Wow, I thought the scene from one of the Airplane! movies where the guards at the metal detector station ignore heavily armed thugs walking through, but search a little old lady who sets off the detector was a joke.
Hmmmm.
Soooo. There’s a certification process perhaps?
If I’m a terrorist and I certify that I have no plans to bomb or hijack aircraft but instead will concentrate on schools, nurseries and playgrounds, I can fly Canada with no hassles?
Sweet!
Even terrorists don’t want to fly Air Canada. No-one’s into punishment that much.
Hmmm.
Oh Crap!
Here I am in New “Incinerated” Jersey, it’s 10am, it’s hotter than hell and humid as a jungle.
And now I’m jonesing for a damn Egg McMuffin!
Really! Did we have to go there?
Terry Ott —
Nortel was once a client of mine; I had exactly the same experience. Upon which I remarked—If NAFTA’s a free trade agreement, why isn’t it 3 pages long?
So when are we going to stop allowing Canadian planes to enter US airspace? I think that that should be the logical outcome of this asinine decision by Canada, but of course it won’t.
You silly Terrorist-ophobes. Don’t you know, a terrorist is more scared of you than you are of him. Thats why he blows up buildings, they scare him. Its not his fault he’s a murderous thug; its society’s fault… and society gets paid back by bombings, so its pretty fair.
If you just calmly walk away there’s a slight chance he won’t automatically kill you; and its your fault anyway for entering his terrortory (accidental typo; but keeping it).
Turing word: planning If you have any capability for planning you won’t let terrorists fly on your damn planes.
Of course, if they don’t let him on the plane, then he’s not an immediate threat. So they will have to let him on the plane first, and then kick him off. But then they’ll have to let him on again.
tw: clearly
So lets see.
America: Single worst terrorist attack ever.
Britain: Multiple terrorist attacks.
Etc. Etc. all around the world.
Canada: No terrorist attacks.
Hey, I can see why you rubes would laugh at Canada’s anti-terrorist measures.
Yet.
If we who are actually fighting terrorism do not win, Canada will quickly find that dhimmitude is teh suXX0r.
Hmmm.
It takes a special set of blinders to avoid even knowing about the Toronto 17.
McClelland is famous for being an ignorant jactass.