Several people have pointed me to Truthout’s “apology” for advancing the Rove indictment story, which Truthout reported on in a way that has (to date) refused to correspond with either a) their enthusiasm for said indictment, or b) any ostensible connection to reality.
But—because there is always still the chance Rove will be indicted— Truthout reserves the right to re-claim the scoop, even if they miss the date by, oh, say, months.
Which is good work if you can get it, and why protein wisdom would like to take the opportunity to offer a scoop of its own: on Wednesday of next week, Carmen Electra will be discovered choking on a nipple ring that inadvertantly found its way into some homemade rasberry scones and die en route to the emergency room.
And if it turns out I’m wrong about the choking, the nipple ringed-rasberry scone, and the precise date of her demise, I nevertheless maintain that Ms Electra will, in fact, perish eventually, and I apologize in advance for “getting too far out in front of the news-cycle.”
Still. I’m right about this. You’ll see.
****
Allah and Dan Riehl have more.
BECAUSE OF THE ROVIAN PUPPETRY!!!!
Well….two can play that game also. I predict (based on unnamed sources) that it will rain tomorrow on your front lawn, Jeff. If it turns out that I am misinformed about the exact date I nevertheless remain certain that it will eventually rain on your front lawn and I will also apologize about getting in front of the news cycle.
Damn!! I didn’t realize how easy it is to be in front of the news cycle.
Ice cream city. Scoops galore.
I predict that this weekend:
* aliens will make public contact with humans
* Michael Jackson will again be arrested on sexually-related charges
* the war in Iraq will end in a stunning Coalition victory
* a Democrat will take power in the White House
* a Republican will take power in the White House
* lefty dimbulbs will appear on Protein Wisdom and attempt to score cheap points before slinking back into the fever swamp
Same disclaimers, etc. I await the Pulitzer for my alien contact reporting.
So does the recent lack of posts begging for money mean that the Jeff Goldstein Mental Disability Telethon is finally over?
I predict that readers of this blog will continue to be middle-aged southern guys insecure about the size of their incomes and penises.
Oh, yeah, Robert?
I have already reported last week that aliens will not make contact on Monday but they would on Tuesday. Therefore I reserve the right to the Pulitzer on every day until Aliens contact us.
Nah.
I predict that our trolls will continue to be gay, unemployed East Coast womyn-studies trannies whose sole preoccupation is getting Southern cack in trade for the next nickel bag.
TW: progress. Heh.
What is it with the moonbat brigade and the whole “Southern” thing? Out of all the Red State stereotypes they could choose – why that one? Misty, water-colored memories of Deliverance, perhaps? Or do they perceive everyone in fly-over country to be somehow, vaguely, from central Alabama?
Probably for the same reason they never leave their names when they suggest people have mental health problems—because they are embarrassed by how absolutely crass and repulsive it makes them look to anyone with a conscience, and because they are, well, pussies.
Well Master Tang, the Midwest is also an area where Bush did fairly well, but so did Kerry, so no barbs may issue forth in that direction, lest fellow moonbats take offence. So the only area were Bush scored a clean sweep victory was in the South, therefore, attacking the South can be done without any moonbat collateral damage, because the moonbats down here agree with the overall perception.
They, too, think that they are our betters, and are tired of the unwashed masses not recognizing the fact. So the South is fair game because of Nixon’s “Southern strategy” and any and all Republican successes to date.
Wait, didn’t that nipple ring in a raspberry scone chocking incident already happen? Yeah, it did and…oh, wait–that was Mary Mapes that choked on a nipple ring in a raspberry scone.
Close enough Jeff, declare prophetic journalistic victory.
I predict that by mid-afternoon Saturday some wackjob lefty troll will post a non-sequitur comment in a vain attempt to insult the regular readers of Protein Wisdom.
TW: better—as in, “Getting behind the news cycle makes for better accuracy.
“We Screwed Up” – actual admission of error, takes the wind out of critics’ sails.
Truthout, on the other hand, issued a “partial apology” for being “in front of the news cycle” (great, a new euphemism for reporting things that didn’t happen), and claimed to have paid “careful attention to the sourcing” (without noticing that the same source has reported this, what, something like 20 times in the past 9 months?).
Truthout seems to “get the truth out” in the same sense that ALL “gets the stains out.”
The “truth” is that since Rather and CBS were able to cover themselves sufficiently, a large barrier to mindless accusations has been removed from the MSM – we can expect more, TYVM.
Jeff, Jeff, just back away from the window and put down the knife. Take your pills like a good boy. Look, here’s some orange juice to wash them down. There, now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Don’t you feel better?
I want some!!!
Truthout did not “screw up”. It just allowed to hang out the window the bare ass of its confusion of paranoid fantasies with reality.
I want mine crushed up and baked inside a pie!!
Hey, it’s six hours ahead of the East Coast here. I don’t need journalistic recognition for being ahead of the cycle. How about some pie?
Or do I have to go to Japan to get 14 hours ahead?
TW: top-what’s on top of my slice?
So, does this mean that their website’s name should be changed to “truthinessout”? I’m sure the Colbert fans over there would appreciate that.
I’m pretty sure that Jeff already covered the aliens making public contact with humans story on May 1st.
Hey, they may be a little in front of the news cycle with this story, but not as far out as Leopold’s April story for Truthinessout claiming Rove would be indicted during the first week in May.
Also, the Nurse is clearly an imposter, as she had more spine.
Okay, now I’m mad. I just scrolled further down the main page here at PW and find that the armadillo was indicted. This is obviously Jeff staging something just to make Leopold look bad.
And somewhere, Karl Rove is dancing.
I predict the Sun will run out of hydrogen, start fusing helium, expand into a red giant and swallow up the inner planets, including Earth.
Bush is to blame, of course.
I predict the Rockies will win the World Series in 4 games.
I’m also predicting that I’m about 30 to 40 years ahead of the news cycle.
A raspberry scone? Where do dream up this fantasic crap? Everyone knows it will be a cinammon roll from Au Bon Pain. C’mon – get your facts straight.
BTW – How would a strict Calvinist do as a blogger “ahead of the news cycle”?
Hmmm.
I predict that Karl Rove will die of old age.
So what if I’m a *little* ahead of the news curve?
Hey. It’s bound to happen sometime right?
sw: “doubt”. Funny thing this spam filter.
Lately, when I drop blotter and commune with Rove he seems to have this inner concern that I can’t quite mesh with.
I have begged him to take time away and come to the desert with me to find his spirit guide but he keeps on wanting to deal with “this” world.
He has been warned that the wolf spirit is angry and that many tshirts decrying this anger will be printed and sold.
Please help me help Karl!
Oh man, he’s freakin out.
Did a member of the “wealth redistribution cult” just take a shot at conservatives for having less income than people who desire total income parity?
Does anyone have a spare Fetzer Valve. My Oxymoron-O-Meter just snapped a linkage.
Ok, it’s official. I don’t ever want to hear another peep about Katrina related incompetence, disregard and/or racism.
New Orleans reelects Ray Nagin
Congratulations, New Orleans. Now shut up.
Well, I’m here, looking back at all of you, still dwelling in yesterday and soo behind the news cycle. ‘Cause I know how the day ends before you do.
I think in this case, Jason’s cycle is late a couple of days. If he pees on the stick and the line turns pink, he’s got himself a story, baby.
Pablo  Forget that chocolate city crap. Welcome to Detroit on the Bayou…
As for Jason, it’s quite simple. ‘Fake but Accurate’ is out and ‘Fake but, er, um, Prematurely Accurate’ is in.
This is a very, very instructive moment as it reveals what “reporters” often do.
Report wishful thinking as fact.
It happens with all the major media organizations.
I predict that readers of this blog will continue to be middle-aged southern guys insecure about the size of their incomes and penises
I’m not southern, and both are bigger than yours.
Thanks for playing.
I hate Mondays.
Sorry–getting ahead of the work cycle.
November’s election returns will show Kos’s losing streak comes to an end, as he successfully engineers Susan Sarandon’s election as dog catcher in Malibu.
Truthout appears to have left the thruth out of their story. They should change their name to “FictionIn”
Stil… waiting…
Ahead of the news cycle ? YOU MADE STUFF UP! I may be a redneck with a small penis but even I know that much ..
“Needs” – The left needs to worry more about brains and less about penises (unless they live in San Fran).
NOOOOO! Not Carmen! NOOOOO!
tw: case; as in, “I have long had a case of the hots for Carmen, (and will miss her much, eventually).
And I am quite distressed at the lack of sympathy shown for Carmen’s eventual demise by comments here. She does and she does and she does for us kids and this is the thanks she gets?
-Actually Jeff as future events will show, it was a cell phone battery in Chers cherry poptart, but other than that you got the story nailed down.
Holy Crap! I stumbled across this post just in the nick of time!
I was just about to start making some raspberry scones for this party I’m having on Wednesday.
Better take out the nipple ring.
I predict the Daily Kos will continue to do for the Democratic Party what Bill Clinton has done for the Democratic Party … maintain a Republican majority.
MenKos…the Lossmaker.