—Hold it right there. What am I, a freakin’ pimp? Jesus! What is wrong with you people?
Anyway, no dancing on holidays. Union rules. Besides, the little fella and I are off to Taco Bell with a $20 spot each, and we plan to spend the rest of the night going hog wild on that incredible value menu of theirs.
Takeout, though. We like to sit in the car with our chalupas on Cinco de Mayo and drink a case of Dos Equis, then finish off a bottle or two of tequila. The kind with the worm.
Though, now that I think about it, I suppose an armadillo eating a grubworm is hardly adventurous.
Still, if tonight is anything like last year, somebody is going to lose his shell in a late night strip poker game. And to get it back? I like to make him run through the drive-thru nude carrying a fistful of lit sparklers.
I know. I’m a bastard. But I have do have a good time.
I HATE it when someone toots their own horn.
The kind with the worm hurts.
Seems to be some heavy assumptions on the results going down here, isn’t it just as likely that the rimless glasses will be pulverized under the intact worm-laden shell leaving you standing nude at the drive-thru speaker looking for the Braille menu with your…?
If you’re a pimp, you’re a spectacularly unsuccessful one. We’ve gotten virtually nothing from the little armored mooch.
On the other hand, for little to no putting out, the returns have been, what? Something better than cigarette butts picked up out of a gutter, I’m sure.
Dude, tequila doesn;t come with a worm in the bottle. You’re thinking of mezcal.
Yeah, but you can PUT a worm in tequila if you want.
Great I am so glad, I was at a self storage place and a ‘dillo was freeteting (note the irony) about in his storage place for his cinco de mayo sombrero, so I offered him mine out of my storage, he started dancing the hat dance then when he got winded, presumably because it was bigger than his ‘dillo sized hat, so I got frightened and to my eternal sham, I ran from the place tittering to my car. Anyhow, so clearly I was mistaken and thought he was the protein wisdom ‘dillo: I am so relieved. dig? Regards, Jonathan D.
Taco Bell?
When you can get perfectly good rat meat tacos at Jack-in-the-Box?
That *is* living the high life!
When you are down to Jack-in-the-Box and Thunderbird, let me know… then I might take some pity here…
On the other hand, for little to no putting out, the returns have been, what? Something better than cigarette butts picked up out of a gutter, I’m sure.
If you’re a pimp, you’re a spectacularly unsuccessful one. We’ve gotten virtually nothing from the little armored mooch.
Great I am so glad, I was at a self storage place and a ‘dillo was freeteting (note the irony) about in his storage place for his cinco de mayo sombrero, so I offered him mine out of my storage, he started dancing the hat dance then when he got winded, presumably because it was bigger than his ‘dillo sized hat, so I got frightened and to my eternal sham, I ran from the place tittering to my car. Anyhow, so clearly I was mistaken and thought he was the protein wisdom ‘dillo: I am so relieved. dig? Regards, Jonathan D.