Fonda:  “Well, I hate to sound all, like, petty and materialistic—and as you probably know, I’m very big into the whole sharing of ideas-thing, because I think creativity is best served by collaboration and the give-and-take you get with the genuine exchange of thought by those with truly artistic dispositions—but it kind of cheeses me off, to be honest, that this whole ‘Hookergate’ thing is getting so much media play.  Especially, like, 30-something years after Harry Dean Stanton, Margot Kidder and I came up with the idea.

     “Here’s the background.  We had just finished shooting 92 in the Shade down in Key West— a film, I should mention, that is an underappreciated masterwork, written and directed by Tommy McGuane, who adapted the screenplay from his own novel—and we were looking for a way to thank the Mayor and his pals in the Chamber of Commerce for letting us block off streets, take over storefronts, etc., to do a lot of location shooting.  Which, for those of you not in the business, that can, like, really fuck up the local business scene, and sometimes gets the natives all restless— not something you want to do down south, especially in the mid-70s..

     “Fortunately, Key Westers are by and large laid back tequila lushes, mostly former northerners with a bit of the continental in their souls, so they were pretty cool with the arrangement.  Which is why when it came time to wrap shooting, Margot came up with the idea of throwing a party and bringing in hookers as a treat for the local politicos, a way to reward their buttoned-down bourgeois sensibilities for playing nicely with a bunch of Hollywood bohemian longhair types. 

     “Anyway, we thought this sounded like a terrific plan, provided we didn’t cause the mayor and his pals any political discomfort—ie. get them caught— so Harry Dean and I hit on the idea of smuggling in everything we’d need using a limo company as a front, then pairing actors and actresses and extras and crew with the hookers themselves (who would smuggle in the party favors:  coke, acid, grass, heroin, bennies, you name it).

     “Incidentally, it was my idea to hire a local band to do the gig, a group that called themselves the Coral Reefers, headed up by a guy I’d met singing in a lounge down on Duval street by the name of Jimmy Buffett.  So, you know.  Kismet and all that.

     ”—The point of all this being that it irks me to no end that this so-called ‘scandal’ is nothing more than a rehashing of the very scheme a bunch of us have been running since the—what?  The Ford Administration?  Especially if we’re not getting any credit for hatching the idea.

     “Because, you know, while I can’t speak for Harry Dean, I know for sure that Margot could use the publicity right about now.  I mean, she was Lois freakin’ Lane, for Chrissakes.  She did early DePalma, you know? And now look at the poor gal—she’s like a used up old bag lady with the toothless mouth of a sloth.”

     “I’m telling you, man.  This town will eat you alive. Like a cannibal orgy run by middle-aged Jews, is what it is.

     “No offense.” *

****

(h/t Glenn Reynolds)