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Fired CIA analyst Mary McCarthy’s top 9 soups / excuses for violating her professional oath

  1. (tie) New England Clam Chowder / “It just felt so right, you know?”
  2. Vichyssoise
  3. “Lacking the daggers bequeathed Ambassador Thorn by Bugenhagen to slay the anti-Christ, what other choice did I have?”
  4. “Bush gets to declassify information on a whim.  And I just don’t think it right that he should have all the Executive powers and privileges—presidential elections and Constitutional powers or no.”
  5. Split Pea and Ham
  6. Chicken with Stars
  7. Well, to be fair, my head can only hold so much information.  So I would call this more of an intelligence ‘spill’ than an intentional leak…”
  8. “Dana Priest plied me with wine coolers, won my confidence with a few rounds of karaoke, and then took advantage of my condition.  The sneaky, self-serving bitch.”
  9. (tie) Potato and Leek / Lentil and Leek

91 Replies to “Fired CIA analyst Mary McCarthy’s top 9 soups / excuses for violating her professional oath”

  1. Jim in Chicago says:

    Excellent reference to the Omen series Jeff.

  2. Pablo says:

    Why don’t you just whisper it to me. Just between you and me...

  3. Good Lt. says:

    MMM…Split Peas and Ham…. surprised

  4. Major John says:

    Isn’t Lentil and Leek, too…you know…neocon-y?

  5. rls says:

    Ham and motherfuckers.  Just add water.

  6. Chicken Leek. With ham.

  7. gahrie says:

    Ox Tail and leak.

  8. bobonthebellbuoy says:

    Split pea and ham. It’s definitive and very good.

  9. CITIZEN JOURNALIST says:

    Speaking of unhinged females, it was my misfortune to have clicked over to Pandagon because there happened to be a quote from Amanda “Karl” Marcotte up in the little random comments thingy, and I came across this gem:

    My laundry basket, you see, may or may not be a highly sexist item. I’m not entirely sure, but consider that I bought it because it fits nicely on my waist so I can carry laundry more easily. And consider that it probably doesn’t fit into a man’s waistline so easily. (I might be wrong, fellas, correct me if I am.) These kinds of laundry baskets took off because there were so many households where it was completely unnecessary for men to carry laundry baskets, and rest assured, that’s not because we’re talking about households where there are no men at all. (Though in my case, I guess that is actually true.) You could say that this basket therefore subtly reacts to and reinforces both sexism (in that women should be doing the laundry) and heteronormativity (there’s a woman in every man’s household to do his laundry). Or not–it might just be that these baskets work equally well for men or that there’s still a lot of square baskets on the market or something.

    Ghahhh????

  10. ahem says:

    Isn’t there a soup named ‘Cock and Bull’? If there’s not, there should be…

  11. Gabriel Malor says:

    Ghahhh????

    Coincidentally enough, I have that same reaction to Marcotte’s writing.

    TW: income, as in…oh nevermind.

  12. B Moe says:

    …it might just be that these baskets work equally well for men or that there’s still a lot of square baskets on the market or something…

    Or it may be that men put there laundry in the cheapest thing big enought to hold it, and women buy special baskets just for dirty clothes.

  13. klrfz1 says:

    soup/excuse #11

    CIA officers and journalist get to cherrypick “which laws to obey”. Yum, cherrypick soup.

    tw: Rather! Haw, haw, haw, haw, … oops, I busted a gut.

  14. Dick "Emeril" Armitage says:

    What about Leak and Leek?

  15. Darleen says:

    B Moe

    You don’t get it. For St Amanda of Fornicatus everything speaks to the dreaded Heteronormativity … laundry baskets is just another rigid, fascistic, narrow gender-dichotomy role enforcement tool.

    (Saturday was the “blog against heteronormativity” hey)

  16. B Moe says:

    Oh I get it, but I had just come back from the laundry room with a trash bag full of clothes and couldn’t resist a comment, lol.

  17. Ric Locke says:

    B. Moe is correct. What is heteronormative is that Marcotte owns a laundry basket.

    My dirty clothes reside on the floor next to the dresser until it’s time to wash them. What I do then is sort them into whites/jeans&outerwear/other, and bundle each category into a shirt or towel for transport to the laundry room. Once they’ve been through the cycle, bundle back in the shirt/towel for transport to the bed for sorting&folding (assuming I don’t just kiss it off, which results in their being kicked to the floor and run through the cycle again without a wear incident intervening). I reckon such a procedure is fairly typical for males doing laundry, even if baskets are available—the shirt or towel doing bundling duty also goes in the washer, and I don’t have an extra object to keep track of (the basket). If the transport distance is large—apartment laundry or laundromat—a poly trash bag is a useful, even excellent adjunct to the process, cheap, convenient, and easily available.

    No, Amanda, it’s not that your laundry basket is a symptom of female oppression. It’s that the fact that you own a laundry basket makes you a stereotypical female to be jeered at.

    Regards,

    Ric

    tw: white. Good to see the AI is getting back on track; it was pretty far off there for a while.

  18. noah says:

    Apparently Amanda is a heterophobe and hates her parents or is a product of virgin birth.

  19. noah says:

    Ric…my method exactly except I just wait until I have a full load by the dresser, pick up the pile without wrapping, wash, dry, rudimentary sort…done! Of course my whites get a little muddy looking but nobody complains but then ain’t been getting any for a while!

  20. runninrebel says:

    My woman does my laundry so I can’t really relate. However I do cook almost all of the meals and clean the bathroom. Am I still a patriarch? I’m confused.

  21. Laundry: goes into bag, goes to laundry.  Nice lady from Iowa gives it back folded.  Only costs about half as much as the clothes did to start with.

  22. Lew Clark says:

    Because I HATE laundry places, I own a washer and dryer, which I consider necessities, just like microwaves (yes plural) and video game equipment.  A refrigerator is a luxury, but I usually splurge on one.  Since my dirty clothes end up on the floor within 20 feet of the washer and dryer, there is no need for laundry baskets.  However, I own seven laundry baskets/hampers in assorted sizes.  Because they are excellent for transporting stuff that was on the floor, to be hidden in closets, on the rare occasion I am entertaining a lady guest.  Male guests are required to navigate all the bachelor stuff residing in their appropriate place on the floor!

  23. gahrie says:

    I use milk crates

  24. Mark says:

    which I consider necessities, just like microwaves (yes plural)

    Well, of course, popcorn in one and butter in the other. Doesn’t everyone do that?

  25. steve says:

    The new “McCarthy Syndrome” on display in the MSM reminds me of something stupid I heard on a bus last week.

    Some dude:

    “I am a smoker, but I blame my asthma on my cat.”

    Sheez.

    -Steve

  26. Vercingetorix says:

    yeah, I don’t get it.

  27. Pablo says:

    Well, of course, popcorn in one and butter in the other. Doesn’t everyone do that?

    Oh. I keep one for oppressing uteruses. Real men nuke wombs.

    Then again, I don’t much care for popcorn. 

    tw: really

  28. Sean M. says:

    You sort your laundry, Ric?

    Homofag.

  29. lee says:

    Amandas household has NO men in it…I’m shocked, SHOCKED I say.

  30. Porco says:

    10. McCarthy’s oath to defend the constitution

    is more important than her job in the soup kitchen.

  31. Julia Childs' Ghost Dishing says:

    French UNyen, cream of sellery and reg-drop soup.  Not to mention golden mushroom served up in Manhattan, Paris and Tel Aviv.

    The aspics of McCarthy’s case leave me cold- what hath she broth?

  32. Lost Dog says:

    You mean that all that mystical clean laundry is there because of my wife? You know, after ten years of doing my own laundry (using contractor bags, no less), I thought maybe God had just given me a giant perk for knowing how to iron and fold my own newly washed clothes.

    I’m gonna have to ask her (my wife, that is – God is asexual).I might owe her a big thanks…

    TW: The ARMS are the hardest to fold the right way.

  33. Ric Locke says:

    Yeah, noah.

    You wanna make something of it?

    Regards,

    Ric

  34. KM says:

    Anybody in Denver notice something missing from the coverage in the Post & Rocky?

  35. MayBee says:

    I carry my laundry in my uterus.  I figure, I’ve already got a hanger stuck there, I might as well put it to good use.

  36. topsecretk9 says:

    No, Amanda, it’s not that your laundry basket is a symptom of female oppression. It’s that the fact that you own a laundry basket makes you a stereotypical female to be jeered at.

    By showing how resourceful you are you revealed Amanda for the stereotypical material consumerism addicted woman she is ; I bet the “basket” is pink too wink

  37. LagunaDave says:

    Jeff forgot:

    10:  “BECAUSE OF THE GAZPACHO!!!!!”

  38. Sean M. says:

    Campbell’s Chunky Sirolin Burger/Bush = Hitler.

  39. ThomasD says:

    You guys aren’t giving Amanda enough credit.  I’m pretty sure my lawnmower is oppressing me.

  40. Nothing like a good Omen reference, Jeff. Try to work in a mention of David Warner and a plate glass window- that would be the shit!

  41. Paul Zrimsek says:

    I’m too busy controlling their wombs to give a damn what they carry their wash around in.

  42. Scott Crawford says:

    I think that the most disturbing thing about this post, Jeff, is that you actually know how to spell “Vichyssoise.”

    Now, that’s a talent you don’t see every day.

  43. Mikey says:

    I’ve got a laundry basket.  My biggest concern on laundry day is “Do I have enough quarters?” not “Does this laundry basket oppress me?”

    WTF????  I mean, really, WTF????

    Somebody needs a stiff dose of clue, it’s only the laundry. Get. A. Grip, woman.

  44. McGehee says:

    I think that the most disturbing thing about this post, Jeff, is that you actually know how to spell “Vichyssoise.”

    All this time I’ve been spelling it “vicious wuss.”

    red face

  45. The_Real_JeffS says:

    OK, folks, I have a question.  And it is SERIOUS.  So pay attention…..

    I see that people actually wash their clothes.  And then sort and fold them.  Even……hang them up.

    Why?

  46. The_Real_JeffS says:

    tongue wink

  47. Pinto says:

    Hell, I just line up the stolen shopping cart under the deck outside my apartment, drop stuff in it and go do a load of laundry every month or so whether I need to or not.  What’s the big deal?

  48. Croutons? says:

    As far as your laundry goes, guys, you have the wimmin swooning.  Really, the smell is powerful.

    McCarthy admits, “Miso blab-o and Progresso”.  Also, that she put Rice in a stew.

  49. jimbo says:

    I have often wondered how such a demonstrably and profoundly stupid man like Bush made it the WhiteHouse. A man who has failed at everything he has ever done, student, soldier, businessman etc. How could such a complete and utter failure become President?

    He was picked by the real power in America, the moneymen, the “free market” types precisely because he, Bush, is such a fool they thought they could manipulate him, and they have. The “Rapture is coming lunatics”, and corporations like EXXON control this country through this clown and horror of a man. And what a mess they have made.

    I haven’t been interested in politics for the last 25 years. But I am sure paying attention now, the media is controlled by this group of maniacs, the Constitution shredded. We are now the country of torture. TORTURE! Think of it.

    I am involved in politics now. I know others are getting involved too, we have to there is no longer any choice.

  50. Vercingetorix says:

    We are now the country of torture. TORTURE! Think of it.

    Are they doing a Full House Marathon? Is Erkel and Screech doing the hosting? Whaaa waaaa waaaa.

  51. Jimbo says:

    Jimbo,

    The man has a Harvard MBA.  How much book learnin’ do you have?  As for “demonstrably and profoundly stupid”, take a look in the mirror.

    Your paranoia about Exxon is as stupid as your use of capitals, and I don’t think anyone believes that nonsense about how you haven’t “been interested in politics for the last 25 years”.

    Odds are, you’re 15 years old, and have been a leftist lunatic ever since you first saw an episode of “The West Wing”

    sw: really.  I mean, really!!!

  52. Jimbo the Lobo-ist says:

    “I am involved in politics now. I know others are getting involved too, we have to”

    if we want federal monies to pay for our lobotomies and drool bibs.

  53. triticale says:

    Note that there exists at least one non-stereotypical reason to own a laundry basket.

  54. Sean M. says:

    He was picked by the real power in America, the moneymen, the “free market” types precisely because he, Bush, is such a fool they thought they could manipulate him, and they have. The “Rapture is coming lunatics”, and corporations like EXXON control this country through this clown and horror of a man. And what a mess they have made.

    You forgot about the Joooooooos, jimbo.  Also, points off for failing to use the word “cabal.” Otherwise, bravo!

  55. B Moe says:

    I see that people actually wash their clothes.  And then sort and fold them.  Even……hang them up.

    Why?

    BECAUSE OF THE MATRIARCHY!!!!!

  56. B Moe says:

    I have often wondered how such a demonstrably and profoundly stupid man like Bush made it the WhiteHouse. A man who has failed at everything he has ever done, student, soldier, businessman etc. How could such a complete and utter failure become President?

    I have often wondered how people like you define failure.

  57. lee says:

    I have often wondered how such a demonstrably and profoundly stupid man like Bush made it the WhiteHouse. A man who has failed at everything he has ever done, student, soldier, businessman etc.

    Jimbos got a point, Bush is so stupid he tried to be a soldier at 30,000 feet going mach 1.

    Then he barely made enough money to afford a pro baseball team. What a loser! No wonder the best he could do before being gifted the whitehouse was governing one of the biggest states in the Union.

    The only reason he won in ‘04 is because the dems found someone that got even worse grades at Harvard than him. And THAT was a conspirousy too I tell ya.

  58. Darleen says:

    jimbo couldn’t score with anyone on Duncan’s open thread du heure so he’s stopping over here for a little bashing around the head and shoulders via his own lame Left cultist schtick

    the little masochist

    Not there’s anything wrong with THAT, heaven forfend I be accused of being a dreaded heteronormative.

  59. Eastern European secret CIA prison chef says:

    Wiener snitchel soup with classifried dumplings and a side of Red beans. 

    T/W federal, as in subordinate to the personal if you’re a Dem secret agent, journalist or President.

  60. alppuccino says:

    None of you guys rigged your house up with a series of air tubes that you stole from the local bank drive-thru’s so that poo-poo-grundies and other what-nots could be transported instantly to the laundry room from anywhere in the home?

    Hmmmph.  I would’ve thought it would have caught on by now.

  61. Mikey says:

    Profoundly stupid?  Tell us, Jimbo, how many supersonic jet interceptors have you flown?

  62. Paul Zrimsek says:

    I haven’t been interested in politics for the last 25 years.

    It shows.

  63. salvage says:

    10. Secret prisons where suspects are tortured and disappeared are illegal and as such should be revealed and those responsible brought to justice.

  64. alppuccino says:

    I have often wondered how such a demonstrably and profoundly stupid man like Bush made it the WhiteHouse. A man who has failed at everything he has ever done, student, soldier, businessman etc. How could such a complete and utter failure become President?

    Jimby,

    You shouldn’t take a question verbatim out of the CBS Bush Press Conference Manual: 2005 Edition without citing.

    Not cool Jimbo.  Not cool.

    Oh, and Jimbo rhymes with homo.

  65. Pablo says:

    salvage sez:

    10. Secret prisons where suspects are tortured and disappeared are illegal and as such should be revealed and those responsible brought to justice.

    That must be the Secret Prisons, Torturing and Disappearing Revealment Through Media Empowerment Act of 2034. See you when we get there, garbage.

    In the meantime, you won’t mind if we use the laws we’ve got, will you?

  66. Pablo says:

    A man who has failed at everything he has ever done, student,

    How much do you have to suck when your ultimate criticism begins with a “fact” that anyone paying attention knows is false?

    There’s a line between passing and failure. There’s a completely objective standard for determining failure. Bush, like Kerry, was a C student, which is simply not a failing grade. Like him or hate him, the guy has a couple of degrees. You don’t get degreed for failing.

    Jimbo must have some incriminating memos from Bush’s academic record. Probably got them from Bill Burkett.

  67. Some Guy in Chicago says:

    ya know, everyone keeps telling me that Exxon owners are the secret rulers of this country…but I’ve never been consulted once on any decision.  I mean, I just sold 35 shares to buy some new furniture but if they would once consult me on, like, who we should bomb…

  68. Bob McKenzie says:

    That hoser’ll need two bowls of split plea soup before this is over, eh?

  69. Pinto says:

    If we’re really really lucky, Jimbo will be a volunteer door to door canvasser for the next Dem Prez candidate…

    Oh, and make sure to remind him Democrats vote on Wednesday…

  70. tomaig says:

    The tie-in between number 8 and number 9?

    Cock-a-leekie soup…

    http://www.soupsong.com/rcockale.html

  71. Scape-Goat Trainee says:

    Meanwhile, Former and Future Presidential Candidate/Gold Digger John Kerry, keenly articulating his firm position on the whole matter, cuts right through the rhetoric like a laser on ABC. (Courtesy of Drudge):

    ABC ‘THIS WEEK’ HOST GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: On another—on another front, excuse me, CIA official Mary McCarthy lost her job this week for disclosing classified information according to the CIA probably about a WASHINGTON POST story which reveal revealed the existence of secret prisons in Europe. A lot of different views. Senator Pat Roberts praised action but some former CIA officers described Mary McCarthy as a sacrificial lamb acting in the finest American tradition by revealing human rights violations. What’s your view?

    SEN. KERRY: Well, I read that. I don’t know whether she did it or not so it’s hard to have a view on it. Here’s my fundamental view of this, that you have somebody being fired from the CIA for allegedly telling the truth, and you have no one fired from the white house for revealing a CIA agent in order to support a lie. That underscores what’s really wrong in Washington, DC Here.

    STEPHANOPOULOS: That’s one issue of hypocrisy but should a CIA officer be able to make decisions on his or her—

    KERRY: … Of course not. Of course, not. A CIA agent has the obligation to uphold the law and clearly leaking is against the law, and nobody should leak. I don’t like leaking. But if you’re leaking to tell the truth, Americans are going to look at that, at least mitigate or think about what are the consequences that you, you know, put on that person. Obviously they’re not going to keep their job, but there are other larger issues here. You know, classification in Washington is a tool that is used to hide the truth from the American people. Daniel Patrick Moynihan was eloquent and forceful in always talking about how we needed to, you know, end this endless declassification that takes place in this city, and it has become a tool to hide the truth from Americans.

    STEPHANOPOULOS: These—

    SEN. KERRY: So I’m glad she told the truth but she’s going to obviously—if she did it, if she did it, suffer the consequences of breaking the law.

    I think his positon is that ummm…she…ummmm….should…ummmm

    Oh bother, nevermind.

    I just can’t understand why we didn’t elect this guy.

  72. Insomniac says:

    Would that be Jeff Gannon’s GAY PORN COCK-A-LEEKIE SOUP?

  73. SPQR says:

    jimbo,

    If you think your example is one of competence, maybe its a good idea that “The Man” does not let you actually have any influence in running our country.

  74. matt says:

    You’re definitely giving Dennis Miller and Yakov Smirnoff runs for their money with this outrageously funny top 9 list. This is way better than your political analysis stuff.

  75. waiter at the CIA Culinary Institute of America to says:

    “That’s when I noticed Mary passed on her usual Plastic turkey and Sean Penne pasta for Mole-igan stew.”

  76. utron says:

    Cock-a-leekie is a nifty suggestion, and it makes me wonder if a few other English dishes should be on the list.  Is it possible to serve Bubble and Squeak as a soup?

    If so, then Jimbo gets a big bowlful, along with a side order of Toad in the Hole.

  77. Downie, Jr. in a NOW moment says:

    Mary and Dana Priest agree: Alphabitch soup.  Umm umm good!

  78. B Moe says:

    So Kerry was in favor of leaking before he was against it?  Or is it both at the same time?  jimbo can you sort this out for me?

  79. mojo says:

    I just can’t understand why we didn’t elect this guy.

    I guess we’re not “profoundly stupid”, whatever that means.

    Either that, or we’re so used to being inundated with bullshit by “I know better” con artists that we just filter it out automatically. A result of TV commercials, obviously.

    Take yer pick.

  80. Progresso in a time of Ramen says:

    10. Neoconsommé / Because, though her first instinct was to tell the President, she thought “Why not go to someone who’s authorized to declassify documents?”

  81. Mary's mom who never grounded her says:

    Actually, people, Mary’s fine with most soups, as long as they’re Liberal servings.  Left-overs plenty fine, too.

  82. Chairman Me says:

    10. Secret prisons where suspects are tortured and disappeared are illegal and as such should be revealed and those responsible brought to justice.

    Not in the places where we took ‘em.

    Lighten up, man. I mean, if you losers don’t want us to forcibly set up liberal democracies throughout the world, then we might as well take advantage of all the tyranny. And don’t think we don’t see the irony of you guys bitching about Guantonamo, as though that’s the worst place to do time in Cuba ferchrissake.

    If you really don’t like torture, please stop commenting here. Tedium and childishness are some of the worst abuses to endure.

  83. Vercingetorix says:

    10. Secret prisons where suspects are tortured and disappeared are illegal and as such should be revealed and those responsible brought to justice.

    11. We should give those darlings Pell Grants and welfare and when we find them on the battlefield, we should just shoot them in the head.

    In accordance with the Geneva conventions.

  84. Vercingetorix says:

    Dammit, I forgot the ‘Waaa wa’.

  85. Downey, Jr. to his activist reporters says:

    Remember:  Even if the story’s fishy, bull-ya-base.

  86. Pablo says:

    Alphabitch soup.

    I don’t care who you are. That’s funny, right there.

  87. alppuccino says:

    Alphabitch soup.

    For when you’re all out of menstrualoni.

  88. her fellow humanitarian says:

    At 61, Mary has to be all out of menstrualoni.  But still liking a-borscht-ion on demand for the sisterhood, I’d bet, as she denounces secret prisons for killer jihadists.

    Because life shouldn’t be inflicted on innocents, clearly.

  89. alppuccino says:

    Probably shouldn’t mention Ms. McCarthy’s fumunda cheese and broccoli soup-in-a-box.

  90. scrubbing as I type says:

    alppuccino,

    You just did and inflicted the rudest form of life on innocents. 

    As if anyone here were innocent.

  91. alppuccino says:

    Well there is this one dude, actus.  He has a certain wide-eyed “if I type, they will read” innocence about him. 

    Other than that, they’re all pretty jaded here.  Them, not you and me, mind you.

Comments are closed.