Progressive Grad Student: “So as part of my community service work with children (we’d recently completed our “Bravo Kyoto” poster, macramed from hemp and freshly picked daisies, and finished with rainbow glitter), we were gathered this morning into a sharing circle watching Playtime Disney’s “Higglytown Heroes”—a show to which I generally give high marks, promoting as it does the idea that each member of the community is equal in social status (a Higglytown “hero” is Everyman, generally someone overlooked by the capitalist system, or at least marginalized as unimportant, easily replaceable, or disposable—her literal “worth,” in a cultural paradigm that stubbornly elevates wealth and competition above social justice and the equitable distribution of goods and services, predictably subsumed by the ravages of materialism)—when all of a sudden, today’s “Higglytown Heroes” were a couple of the ruling class’s hired state Pigs, two “public servants” who routinely keep the People in line by acting as a buffer between them and the Man, their fascist blue uniforms and shiny, steel-toed jack boots (black and scuffed as their oinker souls) emblematic of oppression made manifest.
“Well, needless to say, I was disappointed by the inclusion of such “heroes”—but after I dashed off a quick letter threatening to boycott the show, I got to thinking: what if, as a condition of their license to broadcast, the creators of “Higglytown Heroes” were compelled, by sub rosa theocratic state action and other forms of implicit coercion, to surrender, on occasion, to the wishes of the prevailing Christian power structure, which has, since the time of the Inquisition, insisted upon its authority to impose a moral order on society?
“And if that is indeed the case, how does such an occasional, impelled feint toward the status quo—when taken in the aggregate of the Higglytown series—impact the purity of the socialist message? Similarly, does such a viral, apologistic meme for softening totalitarianism, when introduced into the social utopia of meta-Higglytown (and by that I mean the effect the show’s message has on the consciousness raising of repeat viewers), corrupt the message that we must, by all means necessary, strive to serve the greater good? These questions have never been adequately explored, to my knowledge.
“But they really should be. For the children—who might otherwise grow up with a nagging sense that competition and the interests of the individual (as opposed to those that represent the interests of common weal) are worth exploring and, heaven forfend1, even promoting.”
****
1I use “heaven” ironically here, to reinforce the idea that underpinning capitalism is a long cultural memory, in the west, of Church hierarchy—the structural imperatives of which continue to subvert attempts by the socialist movement to affect a large-scale paradigm shift.
*blinks*
My cat’s breath smells like cat food
Sounds like any number of screeds I was subjected to at the U. of Michigan.
What’s scary is how much time and effort they expend composing these missives, instead of doing something useful, like picking up the trash on campus.
Uh. What about the Wigglies?
This is gratuitous or a caricature how, exactly?
And would the cops be Piggly Higglies?
And these same students bitch like a supermodel on an airplane when they get the low grade that their work deserves. You know, because it hurts their standing in the highly competitive environment of collegiate academics.
“Bravo Kyoto†macaroni and glitter poster
That better have been ORGANIC macaroni.
Organic macaroni?!?!
Something has seriously gone wrong in this world.
Didn’t Stalin have a program like “Higglytown Heroes”? I believe he called them “Heroes of the Revolution.”
Yeah, the stoner-like pizza guy is a much better role model on HH. Although every time I try to put a squirrel on my head like one character, things don’t always go so smoothly.
Jeff, have you seen the movie <style and structure is reminiscent of <i>SLC Punk</i> and Trainspotting.
The premise is the internal destruction of an Anarchist collective by a lone Nihilist. John Black (Nihilist) slowly erodes the weak-minded memes of the collective until they are shoulder to shoulder with white supremacists. It’s a campy black comedy that lampoons the aspects of the progressive movement.
On a 1-10 scale, I’d give it a 6.5. For comparison, SLC Punk is a 7.5 and Trainspotting is a solid 9.
A search in quotes for “never been adequately explored” is the internet’s shortest route to hilarity.
Stop making fun of me!
Let’s try the first paragraph again:
Jeff, have you seen the movie <style and structure is reminiscent of <i>SLC Punk</i> and Trainspotting.
It must be a security feature. It keeps deleting the name. The movie is called A N A R C H I S T—-C O O K B O O K.
This crap is truly beyond parody, though. My wife worked at a large urban university (before moving to another large urban university). At univ. #1, she encountered a grad student–who got his B.A. at Yale, by the way–who wanted to apply for a nationally-competitive fellowship.
His project: after traveling to Southeast Asia, he saw that prostitutes with physical handicapps were at a disadvantage to able-bodied sex-workers. He wanted to back there for a year to find and implement ways to eliminate this disadvantage.
I swear on my son that this is true.
I can’t help but wonder how big of a dumb-ass one has to be to look at women who work in the third-wold sex trade (often with little to no say in the matter) and conclude that the injustice is that the lady in the wheelchair earns less per trick.
I’m sure he had to do a lot of interviews – in depth interviews – and lots and lots of field research in order to properly document and support his thesis, T. And I am more than dead certain that he wrote the most impassioned plea in support of his dissertation.
So how long did he take with that, erm, research, actually?
True story. My friend is attending college (as an adult) and is taking a “Cultural Arts” course and her latest assignment was to make an “Islamic Art” mosaic tile. Problem is Islamic art has no curves or figures – basically all geometric. I gave her some photos of some Art Deco pieces and she copied one.
Got a B+.
Mikey: About 45 seconds.
“BADUM-CHING” Thanks, ladies and gentlemen! I’ll be here all week!
In all seriousness, though, I’m not sure what happened with that project. I don’t think it ever got off the ground, for one reason or another. I would have required him winning a grant against students from across the nation, and I doubt that that happened, for various reasons.
Typo alert: ”It would have requied him winning a grant…”
I’d give him a solid B. I’d give him an A if he could tell me how to deal with Lazytown when you have a red wine hangover.
An A+ if he could delve into the relationship between Mustard Pancakes, and modern feminism.
There’s a world of work to be done on how Dora the Explorer, although it has a bilingual Latina protagonist still manages to marginalize La Raza by presenting English as normaitve, even withing a predominantly Hispanic milieu.
And the Map’s slight Brooklyn accent along with it’s refusal to ever use Espanol, puts an Anglo, and probably a Jew in the position of power, leading Dora and Boots, (a monkey! – does anything need to be said?) on her daily quest.
You never cease to amaze me, Jeff.
Why are academics so adamant about socialism? Seems like it is true that the only place where Communism survives is academia. Even China, North Korea, and Cuba are only nominally socialist.
But, excellent parody, Jeff.
Hmmmm.
He didn’t realise that they were all sex slaves either kidnapped or bought from their parents?
That’s a rather amazing level of stupidity.
But, ed…that’s one of the qualifications for a “study grant”.
An A+ if he could delve into the relationship between Mustard Pancakes, and modern feminism.
Dude! I saw the link to Mustard Pancakes and I was all revved up to see assorted degenerates who had puked on the street and taken pictures of the….well…you know…mustard pancakes.
Imagine my disappointment.
natesnake —
Never did see it. I had it on pre-order from the UK before the DVD came out, but then I shut down my import business.
If it’s now out on DVD here in the states, I’ll put it on my wishlist so I don’t forget to check it out.
I’d give him a “C” as he makes no reference to the irony that the Higgletown “people” are actually Russian Matryoshka dolls.
eakawie, I believe that is offset by the hierarchy in Dragon Tales, wherein the wisest and oldest dragon is Hispanic.
I’m not even going to start with the many racist and speciest things that could be said about PBS Kids Sprout.
Hey, this shit is serious. It’s my job.
This is just like when George was so into that quasi-Vedic stuff, and the whole Maharishi thing.
We all took it, even played along, like. Until that one day in the ashram he was holding forth, like usual, and I just lost it. Right in his Scouse face: “Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not ‘every man for himself’, and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, George. I looked this shite up.”
Or no, wait, maybe that was that Jamie Lee Curtis movie.
Never mind.
l.m.cookies: Lazytown? It’s all explained by watching the credits. Who would have guess that thing would come out of Iceland?! It’s weird enough without the hangover.
Between the daughter being 15 mos. and Mustard Pancakes airing on PBS, I haven’t gotten past a couple episodes. Here’s a stab tho: modern feminism says it’s OK to cook @ home. As long as you turn it into a game and make enough food for your houseful of pineapple-hating pets. And as long as the only males in your personal life are the dogs who don’t mind your condescension.
And for completeness, re. Dan Collins: they’re called the Wiggles.
This post and thread are killing me…
I’m not in academia.
I don’t have kids.
I don’t know what the hell you people are talking about.
But let’s face it, that’s what this website is all about …
I’m starting to get used to it.
And his girlfriend totally busted him
You forgot the ^&*%$ laundry basket!
Everyone knows you must have the “patriarchically designed” laundry basket to properly subjugate a womyn…
T/W: “Although” as in ,”Although, I always preferred ‘bare feet and pregnancy, myself…”
Speaking of gratuitous caricatures, why does Diego have that HUGE watch? I’ve never seen him look at it. It’s like he doesn’t care what time it is or something.
And the Backyardigans, who the hell wrote that song? It’s like the commercial in Halloween 3! I can’t get it out of my BRAIN!
And the one guy on Zoboomafoo? Really bad hairpiece man. Really. Hey Kratt Number 2, go bald gracefully, OK? Be a man. Your hair distracts us from the animals. I keep expecting your damn wig to jump up and say, “Hi, I’m Willy the tree sloth. I just fell asleep here on Kratt’s head. Anyone seen Boots? I’m a little horny. Hey Diego, got the time?”
TW: having. As in: I’m having a crisis, need to get an office.
Higglytown Heroes… Wiggles…Dora…Dragon Tales…Zooboomafu…
Is there a 12-step program for children’s TV programming?
Hmm…maybe…but the fact remains that a real socialist sociology student (presumably influenced by Max Weber) would (should?) have said that (Catholic) Church hierarchism is actually detrimental to the development of capitalism or something.
For the rest, great post.
As usual.
Oh, ferchrissakes, Joe–
My kids are 15, 13 and 10. I’m doing the best I can. Thanks for the correction, though. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Wiggles.
GJ JG!
I will seriously go postal and kill someone if I have to watch the Doodlebops one more time. To paraphrase Bart, I didn’t think it was physically possible but it is both the creepiest and the crappiest kids show there is. Give me Hiel-ggly Town Hereos any day over that Canadian claptrap.
TW:theres, as in there’s a reason they blame Canada for stuff.
Doodlebops! The first time I saw them all I could think of was “What have David Bowie wrought?”
And never watched them again.
I saw an episode of the Wiggles when over at the house of a friend who has two young children. I was rather drunk, and became mesmerized by how profoundly weird it was that such a show exists at all, let alone is enormously popular. It was a rather surreal experience.
Beck–
If you consider the existence and enormous popularity of anything that both exists and is enormously popular, in certain frames of mind . . . . Wait. Did you say slurreal?
(Shhh. I know what you mean!)
I guess it’s a sign of the insidiousness of the programming (and I do mean programming) that after nine years, on and off, of children’s programming, I decidedly prefer the Teletubbies (but only old-school Teletubbies) to the Boo-Bahs. And the Wiggles to Barney – better music. And I kind of dig the Doodlebops’ “Let’s Get On the Bus” dance. As my four-year-old is clamoring for Cartoon Network and I’m trying to maintain some pretense that I’m not the worst mother in the world by forcing Disney down their throats in its stead (PBS is a thing of the past around here, thanks to my nine-year-old), I sometimes turn around in my seat to watch the dang break-dancing. (But it bugs me that the all-over makeup they wear makes all their teeth look yellow. Yuck. Children’s characters with coffee-and-nicotine staining…)
Then I change the channel.
actus, that was funny. I especially liked the part about “I’m such a b*tch, aren’t I, me with all of my work and bill paying.”
Oh, hang on, “Let’s Get On the Bus” is on.
Sheesh, I almost forgot. We used to live next door to two sociology profs in Seattle. They hated The Lion King because it was racist: the lions had that sort of James Earl Jones accent (which makes sense since James Earl Jones was playing Mufasa and all), while the hyenas had that sort of inner-city accent. They didn’t actually mention what they thought of Matthew Broderick playing Simba. I myself just thought it was bad casting… I like Matthew Broderick all right, but “King of the Beasts” is not what springs to mind when I hear him talk.
I can understand that, but what did they think of Dumbo?
actus, that was funny
It was funny. actus, your comment and link actually contributed to the humor of this thread. And now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go check the supplies in my bunker as Armageddon cannot be far away.
Alp–
That’s not really fair. He made a really funny goat-boinking comment a couple of days ago.
Hold it right there Dan! Really funny?
You could be talking treason there.
To be really funny, you have to use the phrase “goat-roper”.
It’s in the Koran or something.
Likewise, the phrase “like Billy Barty” is considered universally humorous. I’m not sure why.
“Black” souls, indeed. Sociologist, heal thyself (you f’ing, racist pig).
T-Web: The proper response would be that proper marketing would enable the wheelchair prostitute to make more per trick, by publicising her existence to that small market that will, in fact, pay a premium for such things.
I’d try that one just to watch grad-boy’s head explode.
WTF ever happened to Bugs Bunny and the Road Runner… you know, Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius, goes splat…
oh yea, they were tools of the evil racist capitalist imperialist hyper-agressive patriarchy that was the good ol’ USA
TW: “patriarchically designed” laundry basket. Give me an effin’ break, and do something useful with that grey matter.
Everyone knows you must have the “patriarchically designed†laundry basket to properly subjugate a womyn…
That post will, for me, always hold a special place in my memory, as I’ve realized now that the moment I read it was the moment I went from “reluctantly hawkish liberal supporting Bush for no other reason than the GWOT” to “actively anti-Left neo-con”. In that sense, I have to thank Amanda for brilliantly encapsulating in a single post everything that’s wrong with leftist thinking in a way that somehow nothing else – including the most incisive conservative critiques, many of which I’ve found on this site – had quite managed to do for me.
The most astounding part is the knowledge you have while reading such tripe that the author lives in the same world as you and no doubt has fully functioning mental faculties, yet her “reality” is so distorted by her embrace of a few axiomatic beliefs (in effect, logic gates) which, when applied to the normal chain of logical thought development, yield a conclusion that’s so far off the mark. It’s as if one entered “2 + 2” on a calculator, except that the value of the “+” key had been changed to “-”, so you end up with 0 instead of 4. Even though all the steps in the process were ostensibly done correctly, a key element was inverted, so the result is nowhere close to reality. That’s Amanda Marcotte and her ilk in a nutshell.
Alp and mojo–
It had a LARIAT in it, for heaven’s sake.
So now actus is Jan Murray?