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“Another Saturday Afternoon in the Life of an Evil Reactionary Bush Apologist”: a protein wisdom sudden fiction

     “Honey?  What’s say we put on those INS caps I picked up on eBay, head down to Wash Park, and stop Hispanic-looking people at random to demand they ‘show us their papers’?

“Because Christ, do I ever love the expressions on their little immigrant faces when they feel like they’re about to be arrested, stacked like firewood in the back of some government-issued cattle truck, and dumped on the side of a goat trail outside Tijuana.

“Then after, we can maybe stop for Italian ices or something.  If you’d like.”

28 Replies to ““Another Saturday Afternoon in the Life of an Evil Reactionary Bush Apologist”: a protein wisdom sudden fiction”

  1. Robert says:

    Italian ices?

    American ice not good enough for you, east-coast liberal Jew?

    TW: Or are you French?

  2. phreshone says:

    The Evil Reactionary should be careful.  He may be detained for “impersonating a law enforcement officer”.

    Fortunately the charges won’t stick, our immigration laws haven’t been enforced for nearly 40 years.

    TW: Science fiction.  You know, an alien story.

  3. ken says:

    Bush apologist? Even acting like you’re going to deport someone? Apparently I missed something in the past 5 years.

  4. actus says:

    Fortunately the charges won’t stick, our immigration laws haven’t been enforced for nearly 40 years.

    Charges? I don’t htink they charge people much. Just handle it administratively.

  5. phreshone says:

    Charges? I don’t htink they charge people much. Just handle it administratively.

    The charges would be on the Evil Reactionary.  Learn to read.

    TW: Actus is a complete fool.

  6. actus says:

    The charges would be on the Evil Reactionary

    The part about immigration laws being enforced too!

  7. Dana says:

    Well, this post points out to those who want to see all of the illegal immigrants deported that, in order to do so, we’d have to issue a government national identity card, which people would be required to carry with them at all times.

    Otherwise, those “Hispanic-looking people” could simply say, if not stopped for probable cause (“Hispanic-looking” unlikely to be considered probable cause), “I’m a citizen.”

    Those who wish to see all of the illegals rounded up and deported would have to get used to hearing, “Ve vant to see your papers.”

  8. Off Colfax says:

    And ther’s something morally wrong with this where?

  9. Off Colfax:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Wetback

    This might explain some of the trepidation a lot of politicans have about a mass deportation, even if gets successful in some regions. They did in fact openly look for “Mexican-looking” people.

    Oddly, since I support the war in Iraq and a lot of what the President has done, the immigration debate has put me in the odd position of defending him from people who normally agree with him anyways.

  10. Stop them and ask them, “Hey, how do I qualify for Mexican citizenship?  I mean, the Yanks beat the hell out of the Mexicans in 1848.  The cadets died at Vera Cruz.  And how come no one mentions the millions of Aztecs killed by the Conquistadors?  So, thanks to Zachary Taylor, we should all have the right to live and work in Mexico and demand the Mexican bureaucracy provide ballots and welfare applications in English, right?  Mexico belongs to the US by conquest, eh?”

    Mexico, ptah!  There is no such thing as Mexico.  It is all Bushland now! 

    Robert Speirs

  11. Pablo says:

    “Because Christ, do I ever love the expressions on their little immigrant faces when they feel like they’re about to be arrested, stacked like firewood in the back of some government-issued cattle truck, and dumped on the side of a goat trail outside Tijuana.

    Wait, isn’t that how they get here?

    tw: stop

    Well, duh.

  12. NottheJeff says:

    Obviously Jeff Golddude has advised Bob McNair on draft choices.

    Will god ever forgive?  Unlikely….

  13. ken says:

    Actually the other Jeff had a good picture of what this area would look like if Mexico was still in charge…

  14. Blitz says:

    LOL!~!! My daughter and her friends do this.They go into a store around here and yell INS!!…I haven’t seen it,but they tell me that some run and some laugh.I’ve tried to tell her to stop,it’s dangerous,but you know High school kids,they’re gonna do what they do.I live in a high illegal immigrant area(HUGE recent influx of Mexicans)in Mass.The schools here are ENCOURAGING the kids to protest on the 1st,but after school.As far as I’m concerned,bring on the busses,and failing that?…BARs on the rooftops

  15. KM says:

    Dude, get with the times. INS is now USCIS: United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, “A Bureau of the Department of Homeland Security.” The people who do the actual occasional enforcement are now ICE officers: Immigrations and Customs Enforcement.

    Funny story: In Biloxi, Miss., after the flood, there’s some ICE officers down there helping out for some reason. They’re DHS, I guess. Well, they’re wearing their blue windbreakers with ICE on the back in big bold letters. The townfolk start chasing them because they need ice.

    Little did they know they also needed ICE. Or maybe, at the time, they just didn’t give a shit about the Mexicans.

  16. Sean M. says:

    Blitz,

    Your daughter would get more of a reaction by shouting “La Migra,” but that could just be a SoCal thing. 

    Just for shits and giggles, it’s pronounced Lah Mee-grah. 

    TW = ran.  No keedin’.

  17. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    I believe the correct phrase is ¡Ola! Es la Migra!

  18. Balzac in a Wringer says:

    OT for a sec… I need references to sleazy sitcoms, song lyrics, videos, television shows and sex-sell commercials, anywhere in the the world, for a novel I’m working on.  I thought there was an outside chance the commenters might be able to help.  Feel free to e-mail.  Many thanks.

  19. Want to know what a Hispanic US would look like, how its economy would work?  Look at Puerto Rico.

  20. ed says:

    Hmmm.

    BARs on the rooftops

    I assume you’re talking about a Browning Automatic Rifle and not something you mix drinks on right?

  21. Mike says:

    LOL, Robert Speirs.  We already have the “Hispanic US”, according to reactionary alarmists, and the economy’s pretty damn good.  Want to know what the US economy would look like if we arrested and deported millions of illegals ASAP?  ________________. 

    Hope you and the rest of the Minutemen are raising your millions of kids to do good, honorable manual labor for a living.  Meanwhile, the CA state legislature should roll-back benefits to non-citizens to help staunch the flow.

    Still, Blitz’s dream of of mowing them down with big guns is such a turn-on.  Stud!

  22. TomB says:

    Sorry Jeff, this one would have only worked if you had used the word “Eye-talian”.

  23. gahrie says:

    Want to know what a Hispanic US would look like, how its economy would work?  Look at Puerto Rico.

    You mean the Puerto Rican economy that is subsidized by the rest of the US economy to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollar a year?

  24. deathway says:

    ¡Jódale, bastardo pastoso-pelado!

  25. Blitz says:

    LOL ed,yeah Brownings but just a thought,why not both?? Ammo is expensive,I could charge a cover!!

  26. Randy says:

    TomB;

    I thought he did use “Eye-talian.”

  27. Mike says:

    Timing is everything.  While we’re at war with Islamist terror, Afghanistan and Iraq, and battling the MSM, academia, Hollywood and leftists everywhere, let’s open up another front as if it were a freaking huge sudden emergency after all these decades.  Apparently, it’s not enough to insist on greater border security both north and south (terrorists come here through Canada, too), we must demand that all illegal Mexicans get arrested and deported en masse NOW. 

    We must polarize the Latin Americans further just in time for the June Mexican elections in which a socialist ally of Chavez is challenging Fox.  We must radicalize some Repubs into not voting GOP this fall (“to teach them a lesson”), so that a Democrat majority House can impeach the Pres and further demoralize domestic will wrt our war efforts.  Our economy is doing well right now, despite the jitters over oil prices and Iran, so I guess it’s somehow a good idea to destabilize it with radical social and business upheaval.  Brilliant.

    At normally sensible blogs, commenters are talking about the degradation of national IQ with the influx of millions of Latinos.  A few generous types and economic wizards say that they could get behind a Guest worker program for a whopping 20,000.  Yes, it would seem that, even given our low unemployment numbers and that many of the “unemployed” are white collar types, there will be a rush of TV/video addicted couch potatoes to backfill all of the poultry processing, brick-laying and produce-picking jobs that the Mejicanos have stolen from red-blooded Americans. 

    And, Jeff’s right about this:  how would the Feds go about catching and deporting millions of illegal immigrants, Latino, Asian, Muslim etc. without a national identity card?  Seems there would have to be an exponential increase in snitching, raids, and heavy-handed police demands for papers, which is fine, I suppose, but can you hear the Libertarians et al. now? 

    Despite Bush’s attempt to address the situation with a fairly realistic plan, commenters at a major blog are calling for Bush to be tried on treason on account of the illegals.  At least the jokes here about shooting them are true comedy gold.

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