me: “Uh, mom? Did you leave Grandpa’s door unlocked again? Because unless we’ve started keeping matzah in the tool shed, I think the old fella just wandered outside and ate a piece of particle board covered in whitefish salad and sliced onion.”
me:
me: “…Right. I’ll go see if I can find his pants.”
Pants!!!
I’ll be the first to <str>say</str> er..admit that I don’t have a clue what that is about.
The only thing I can think of is the old “Ozarker” joke:
Pa: Ma, how old is that yungun sittin’ at the end of the table?
Ma Well, I reckon he must be nigh on to 20 or so by now. Why?
Pa Well we better git ‘em a pair o’ pants..did you see what he just drug thru the beans?
It’s not really “about” anything. Other than my Grandpa mistaking particle board for matzah and wandering around without his pants.
Awkward.
My grandfather at the sedar table
Baruch hat attaboy burey paris hagafanana
Don’t want to insult anyone or anything like that…but I can see how that is possible.
The pants thing…a choice.
[generic pithy comment]
Don’t knock the particle board. It’s formaldehyderrific.
But, alas, not kosher, so the Passover table isn’t really a good place for it.
Especially when you wrap it with some nice prosciutto.
We’ll go dancing in the dark, walking through the park and reminiscing….
I wonder around without my pants a lot, because I’m cool and sexy. But I don’t eat particle board. So that’s probably not cool and sexy.
MMMMMMMMMMM
Particle Board
Full of fiber
and Formaldehyde
You’re thinking of fiberboard. Maybe.
If I want to eat particle board I’ll grab a crunchy granola bar.
1982? I was a junior in high school. That was the year Ayn Rand died. Lots of us were walking around without our pants. Oh wait, that was the LSD.
Never mind.
Particle Board, Particle Board,
Not what you’d call a tasty reward,
What’s it like? It’s not important,
Particle Board.
In the tool shed without pants! Had he not been circumsized as a kid?
You can take your particle board back to Constantinople, for all I care.
Like who? You’re not going to tell that you think a lobbyist is a major player in the construction of the Republican majority, are you?
Why did Constantinople get the works?
Whoops, wrong thread!
tw: Boy, is my face red!
Pablo. How the hell do you make that kind of mistake?!
Back to the original intentions, before we were so rudely hijacked by Pablo:
How would you even know the difference between particle board and matzah? Frankly, it might actually be an improvement!