From the WSJ (subscription only):
Concluding one of the most brutal admission seasons ever, college officials say they are accepting an unusually low percentage of applicants.
Elite colleges including Brown University, Stanford University and the University of Pennsylvania say they have accepted a smaller percentage of applicants than ever before. Brown admitted only 13.8% of applicants, down from the 14.6% of applicants it accepted last year. That is a record-low rate, says Jim Miller, dean of admission. It saw a record 18,313 applications this year—up more than 8% from last year.
[…]
The University of Pennsylvania turned away 394 of the 1,045 valedictorians that applied. Also, about 70% of applicants who got near-perfect scores in the math and critical-reading sections of the SAT were turned away, says Mr. Stetson. At Brown, 94% of admitted students this year were in the top 10% of their class.
And yet Yale found a place for a former high-ranking Taliban government flack?
Hmm. Well, he does speak four languages, as our pal actus is fond of reminding us. And who knows? If this sample from his application essay is any indication, maybe he really blew the admissions committee away with his fervor:
“Big Satan and Little Satan: A Case for Stonings”
America […] is held in thrall to its Zionist masters, who control the universe through trickery and subterfuge […]. But this hold is ephemeral and is part of the great plan of Allah (peace be upon him) to test the will of His worthy servants […].
[…]
By allowing me to attend your famous university, where the misunderstood Mr Paul De Man once taught, and where the lying pig monkey Harold Bloom (may Allah piss on his soul) also toiled on behalf of the Zionist cause, you will be allowing me to broaden my intellectual horizons.
I am particularly interested in broadening my horizons in the area of nuclear physics and engineering. Also, I am interested in networking with other likeminded co-religionists in your New Haven community, as well as meeting with, and documenting evidence of, the rampant Judaism, feminism, and homosexuality on Ivy League campuses. Perhaps my post-graduate work could focus on helping your culture remove these scourges?
[…]
I very much look forward to joining your esteemed academic community and adding my experiences to the already impressive diversity of your student body. After all, how many other applicants have ever shared tea with Usama bin Laden, or publicly defended the cultural practice of stonings and chopping off fingers of rank, whorish Jezebels who dare paint their nails against the wishes of Allah (who, it is said, is more of “french manicure” kind of deity)?
And somebody told me to mention that my family was once very poor, and that I’m rather swarthy. So there you have that.
Thank you for your time and consideration, and death to America and Israel!”
Ah, how we do appreciate the Other!
(h/t Terry Hastings)
I’m waving the BS flag on this one…
Just wait, soon he’ll graduate and become a tenured professor!
New additions to the Yale syllabus will include:
Gender Studies 305: “Women’s Proper Place and How to Keep Them There” 3 hrs credit plus labwork (students should provide their own beating stick for labwork)
Humanities 319: “Dealing With Homosexuality” (brick walls will be provided)
Political Science 227: “Public Policy: The Proper Use of Stadiums”
World Religion 435: “Convert to Islam or Die” (students who choose the latter may receive a grade of incomplete)
I’m too smart for Yale.
Try it. It feels good.
Don’t forget Geography 101: “A World Without Israel”
Did the article mention Yale’s admission? My subscription ran out.
He also set up a foreign office. I was editor of my HS newspaper when I got into college. Wouldn’t get in today, I’m sure.
actus:
Well, maybe if you beat women for leaving home without a man and executed some homosexuals they’d make an exception for you.
Because then you’d offer a unique and valuable perspective. Plus, if they didn’t get Harvard might!
actus,
Can we guess what your H.S. newspaper was called?
Give us a few shots before you tell.
I’ll try two:
The Valley High Weekly Emission
The West Palm HS Argumentor
Midvale HS Daily Obfuscator
You might think of “An Intro to Alternative Lifestyles : The benefits of beastiality”
(camels have humps for a reason)
Knobdale High Daily Awkward Silence
The Bishop Rosenpenis Memorial HS Hourly Intruder
Can’t…..stop….must make…….fun……of……actus
I don’t know if he did any of that.
If I were to believe you, then it wouldn’t be a unique perspective.
The Kennedy HS Pointless Blurb
The Myron Plagar School for Tone Deaf Monthly Cut and Paste
I don’t know if he did any of that.
Apparently you’re not familiar with standard Taliban doctrine.
No, he just defended it.
Just like you are now!
TW: depends on the point of view
If I were to believe you, then it wouldn’t be a unique perspective.
True, there’d be two of you now.
TW: group. You’d have your own study group!
The biggest irony in all of this? Taliban literally means “student.”
Dan Rather Mem. HS Daily Denial
My highschool paper was called The Tillicum. Seriously. Have at it, boys…
turing word: “long”
you gotta be kidding me…
A chickentheocrat!
I keep strokin’ it Tillicum.
Okay, I’m sure I’m going to get bombarded with non-responsive (and if I’m lucky, all-capitalized) snark for this, but has anyone ever made the case that the Talib isn’t actually, you know, smart enough for Yale?
The Rosemont HS Halfbaked Intelligencer
<blockquote>Did the article mention Yale’s admission? My subscription ran out.</blockquote>
So what your saying here Actus is that you don’t think it is competitive to get into Yale? You think Yale had a bunch of open slots and not enough qualified apps to fill it? Okee Doke.
I can think of quite a few other people who set up foreign offices as well. I’m sure that propraganda mini err spokesmen played integral parts in many regimes. My guess is that South Africa had one as did the Nazi’s of course, Stalinist Russia, Khamer Rouge, North Korea etc. You think they all would be welcome at Yale?
Actually when I think about it other than the Nazi and of course the South African they probably would be welcomed at Yale. I should have said Israel, you know their spokesman wouldn’t be welcome.
The Daily Apologist
Ted Kennedy’s Driving School Weekly.
I’m sure it is. I’m wondering if they’re experiencing the same thing as all the others—ie, increased numbers of applicants. Also if it will continue, you know, with people finding this unproblmatic.
I have no idea. Never heard much about them in the MSM. I don’t know why finding it unproblematic that one person gets into Yale means others must get in either.
Another masterpiece! Bravo!
The Robert C Byrd School for the Salivically Challenged Weekly Whatthefuck
The New York Times (Jr. Edition)
Eastvale HS Random Argument
The Daily Newspeak – Short Bus Edition
Mountain: Taliban Yale Student Admitted for Full Program
Molehill: Official linked to blowing up Buddhas is elected in Afghanistan
Ditchwitchford HS Sporadic Grammarian
South Palmwetter HS Weekly Unction
I read somewhere that our brave young Talib has the equivalent of a fourth grade education, Jack.
(Sorry, no snark)
Actus defends a member of the fingernail-ripping, adulterer-perforating, jihad-luvin’, terrorist-enabling, Osama-fellating Taliban.
What else is new?
I speak French, Spanish and very poor Russian, Italian, pidgin Japanese, atrocious Chinese. I too have a fourth-grade education (errr, plus about 12 more, but whatever).
Maybe I should step up my pedestrian gay ‘bashing’? Could I get into Yale? Would actus support me? Anybody have a brick wall handy?
The Mohatma Gandhi High Skool Contortionator
Timothy Leary High School Bloviator
Support? In general i’d find it rather unproblematic for you to go Yale. However, if you bashed gays while there? Problem. Maybe you could even take our Talibunny to go see the vagina monologues? Not as date. of course.
Is that light hearted humor that I detect? Congrats Actus!
Cute. He has to lose the beard though, maybe get a Brazilian wax.
Oh, no, you don’t. Any idea how much theatre tickets cost? Someone is paying, someone is putting out.
Hot Taliban mountain luvin’, oh yeah.
Indeed! Jeff’s been blogging for what, nearly a decade? And actuse has finally been saved from his intellectual roots at The Cage Liner Daily Scribe.
Who says conservatives aren’t compassionate? Hit the tip jar, actard; y’all been redeemed!
tw: A leaden lead story.
Bareback Camel Humper Humpin’?
The Gypsy Valley Hemp and Mail.
Mother Prairie’s Humorous Cleanin’ Rag.
The Erstwhile Wind Power Tribune and Pickle.
tw: The Military Tattler.
East LA High School Drive-by
North Central High School Spirit Fingers
IIRC, didn’t Steyn write a couple of pieces about the popularity of older Afghan men consorting with young males in Kabul, post-Taliban?
Our Lady of Perpetual Indignation Daily Belch
I dunno if Steyn wrote about it, but I saw enough of it in Kabul, Parwan and Kapisa provinces to make me sick… 12-14 year old boys should just be left alone, damn it.
Afghan equivalent of a 4th grade education (by his own admission) and a US G.E.D.
I suspect that most Yale rejects might have demonstrated a bit more academic and community accomplishment.
BTW – how can we have so many college applicants in the Worst Economy Since Herbert Hoover?
They’re all applying for Financial Aid, too.
Nothing like a little male bonding.
What do they say in the Gulf states?
Women are for breeding, men, they are for pleasure.
This might be the missing link between the Progressive movement to the lad/goat-bothering barbarians.
It’s still disgusting, every bit of it.
Government financing…Pell Grants….student loans…you know, all those programs that the current Administration has gutted.
Seriously, there is no reason for anyone wanting to get an education, not to be able to. Especially financial reasons.
Hmmm.
Frankly I think this would make for an excellent situatin comedy that could become a real hit. A sort of, slightly modified, paraphrase of “Fresh Prince of Bel Air”. Only in this case it’s “Fresh Taliban of Yale”. Hell it even sounds similar so you gotta know it’ll fly!
So we got a Taliban guy going to Yale with lots of hijinks all around as some cultural clashes occur. All in good fun as some people have stone walls dropped on top of them for being homosexuals while young college girls are first gang-raped and then stoned to death for being infidel whores.
Coming to NBC this fall so watch out for “Fresh Taliban of Yale”!
….
Frankly this started off as a bad joke, but I think the joke is now on me because I can see it happening.
The HateAmerica Daily Apologist
Glass House: McKinney Punches Police Officer
Mountain: Taliban Yale Student Admitted for Full Program
Molehill: Official linked to blowing up Buddhas is elected in Afghanistan
Posted by OldYaleCokeDealer | permalink
on 04/05 at 12:15 PM
Take it up with the Afghans who voted in that district. Or are we supposed to decide who can and cannot be elected anywhere in the world now?
No. We’re supposed to be deciding who goes to yale.
Re man/boy love…I’ve gotten the distinct impression from a Greek friend that Greeks and others still don’t regard it as “gay” behavior.
You mean we’re on the admissions board at Yale?
Do I get a stipend?
TW: Nah, he couldn’t be that stupid.
Oh, yes he could.
“Take it up with the Afghans who voted in that district. Or are we supposed to decide who can and cannot be elected anywhere in the world now? “
For less than savory reasons, it does happen.
Besides, it’s not like the Taliban kid got in on the Legacy Ticket.
Hey man, don’t ever underestimate the stupidity of the acthole.
Yawn.
If I recall Bush had to bang the Admissions Directors wife and daughter in order to get in.
Kerry got in because he blew the Admission Director.
Perhaps the Talibunny screwed his pet dog (or car)?
Hey, oldyaleyadayada, how’d your man, Jf’n Kerry get into Yale? And really, how old are you, 15? Recycling “My Pet Goat”? Comic gold, man.
car=cat.
Wait a minute…you’re not Osama are you, oldyaleyadayada?
Did anyone tell him about spring break in Gitmo yet?
Just for the sake of being anal and not moving the discussion along one bit, I felt obligated to point out that Taliban actually means “two students” – in Arabic anyway (in Pashtu or Dari it may be different). It’s strange because when I was learning Arabic in Monterey I had to translate an Arabic article with the headline Two Students Blow Up Buddha Statues in Afghanistan and thought “Wow, those kids are pretty damned ingenious!”
This was, of course, pre-911…
The Peculiar(HS) Non Sequitor.
The Our Lady of Contradictions Daily Brevity
actus as editor is priceless! Student Journo turns in a 500-word story, actus prints his favorite two lines.
As a mother of a high school student, though, I have to say everyone and his brother applies to the Ivies these days. Every parent thinks their baby needs to go Ivy League or Stanford to succeed in life. Back in my day, you applied to the colleges you thought you’d really go to. These days, the kids flood the market with their applications. I’m not surprised admissions percentages are way down.
That election just proves the old adage:
<b>Democracy is the worst possible form of government, except for all the other ones.</b
or
That election just proves the old adage:
Democracy is the worst possible form of government, except for all the other ones.
yeah, rto told me about “Man dance Thursday”
soooo….to get to yale…..join osama bin laden…does anybody kno where he is hiding?
The Picayune Exceptional School Daily Grand Mal
Man Love Thursday – I never did grok that. And there I was TF Eagle’s Civil-Military Operations Officer…whoo. Maybe I should have stayed XO of TF Dragon…
<blockquote>Knobdale High Daily Awkward Silence
That one definitely takes the cake.
The question I have about this post it, forget the Talib for a minute, why the hell to so many perfectly intelligent people want to go to Yale of all places?
Its like the stories of immigrants who were lured to America expecting the streets to be paved with gold and ended up, you know, pounding sand for five cents a day.
Mr. Bezuhov,
If you’ve got something to say why don’t you just come out and say it?
Seamus O’Higflarebrienty
President
USPOA
United Sand Pounders of America