—Forget it. When the trolls arrived in force earlier this week, the little fella gathered up a few of his firearms, built a blind in the front yard, strapped on his Kevlar and night vision scope, and began lying in wait for any suspicious looking interlopers.
Last time I checked?—he’d already gone through 34 Slim Jims, a bottle of Beam (with a 2 Liter of Diet Coke), a couple bags of Sun Chips, and a pony keg of Bud Light. That, and he hadn’t slept in 72 hours.
Which is all just a roundabout way of saying that if you’re planning on popping over later unannounced, you might want to make sure you’re wearing an orange safety vest. And carrying a big placard with Dick Cheney’s face on it.
Or a Lynyrd Skynyrd poster, at the very least.
Because while the little armored bastard may be drunk, fatigued, and stinking of digested beef tube—he’s also a damn fine shot who, god bless him, can recognize the friendlies at 200 yards.
And if he’s trigger happy, tuck and roll to the RIGHT! to the RIGHT!
Left is bad, right is outta-sight, man.
Some great weekend reading – the past and future of warfare, with predictions and trend analysis.
Have a nice weekend!!
Little red cab shoes, pierced nipples, greasy Q-tips, digested beef tubes…Forget the politics, I don’t need no fancy argumints or perjections, I’m here for the PICTURES and the PIE!!
TW cannot, as in I just cannot help myself
Dude:
As an occasionally affectionate reader: Buck up! Don’t give them the satisfaction.
But as one of the guys you’re talking about: Ha! Got to ya!
What the hell. I’ll start.
Your loyalty to Ben Whatsisface is admirable, considered strictly in the light of friendship. I have a few old friends to whose defense I’d leap if they were charged with mass murder. If a videotape of the slaying and a dozen unimpeachable witnesses were produced, I’d say “Well, then, X must have had a darned good reason.” But if X looked me in the eye and said “Some of the victims on the videotape asked me to pull the trigger and others were killed by my editors shooting from off-camera”–I am permitting myself to run with your post’s governing metaphor–“and I hope I can count on you to affirm my innocence.” well, then, I might, just might wonder if X wasn’t abusing my trust. Given that Clinton was rightly disparaged for permitting sundry friends and associates to hang themselves out to dry in his defense on morals charges, oughtn’t a certain onus attach to young Benjamin, if not for the original defense (a “youthful indiscretion,” although by the President’s standards this will apparently serve as a blanket justification for any indiscretion Ben might essay for the next sixteen years) then for the selfish willingness to accept moral support for unjustifiable behavior?
Fire when ready. (Ah: the verification word is “arms.” Conicidence?)
cordially,
Rand,
Getting back up to speed on this, how about we wait till like Wednesday or something so we can definitevly clear up a few lingering points and some he said/she said stuff? For my money, the odds for Ben don’t look good.
But more importantly, look at the actual content of the post Jeff made – to recap from earlier (quoting Jeff’s post update)
__________________________________________________
The new sentence now reads: “On the charges of plagiarism, I’ll accept Ben’s explanationâ€â€whatever it isâ€â€because I also found him to be quite a forthright gentleman, which means that I expect he will admit to any wrongdoing.†For some reason, the visiting lefties kept leaving off everything after “whatever it is.â€Â
Couple that statement with my later statement in the piece:
…and decide for yourselves if you think I’m “excusing†him.
__________________________________________________
Is this working for you?
BRD
I suggest you re-read my post, Rand. Read the update, if it’s helpful. And please try to post in the correct thread.
I don’t know how to make it any more clear than I have. If Ben plagiarized, he should fess up and begin rehabilitating his reputation. When I wrote my post, it was my belief that he would.
He still might, if he believe what he did was wrong. Or he might not, I don’t know. My sense from having met him is that he’ll do the right thing. But all of this has happened so fast that I’m in no hurry to throw stones at the guy.
What strikes me, though, are all those folks on the left who are denying the perverse pleasure they are taking in Ben’s predicament. If, as they say, they were just after revealing the truth, then why are they still posting about it: after all, he has resigned over allegations of plagiarism. What more are they after?
Light Bud and Diet Coke? Is the Armadillo a metrosexual or what?
Nice to know that you and family are well protected by your little friend reinacting parts of Taxi Driver “method style” in your yard. I hope your dermatalogical worries are over (I haven’t been here in a while).
Since this seemed to be the equivalent of an “open thread,” I thought well, as well here as another.
For the rest, I wouldn’t dream of denying the perverse pleasure I derive from Ben’s “predicament.” His resignation and disgrace are more than sufficient unto the day. But again, your personal loyalty speaks well of you, however misplaced it might prove to be. No doubt you’ll let us know should you ever conclude that Ben was abusing your trust…?
cordially,
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame class of ‘06 includes the Skynyrd boys.
About f’in, time. I mean, the Pretenders made it before the band that gave us “Free Bird.”
WTF?
This is one Southern man who’s not ashamed to say that he tears up something fierce when he hears Freebird, both the live and studio versions. Tuesday’s Gone does the same. And man I love Slim Jims.
If you’re “popping over” to Jeff’s house unannounced, remember the advice of CIA Agent Vincent J. Ricardo, “Serpentine Sheldon, Serpentine!!”
If the ‘dillo is guzzling Jim Beam and Diet Coke while cuddling up to a sniper rifle, I hope he has the dignity to do so on in a proper drinking glass, and on the rocks.
Us RWDBs have our standards, y’know!
I only opened this comment thread because it wasn’t about Ben. Let it go, already.
…he’s also a damn fine shot who, god bless him, can recognize the friendlies at 200 yards.
Well then, I won’t worry about it.
Bud, Bud, Bud. Any randomly chosen lick from “Second Helping” is better than both of those songs put together. Ah well, I guess that’s why they make chocolate and vanilla.
Freebird. Possibly the rock ballad most undeserving of its general ranking in the R’n’R pantheon. I could never understand why so many women loved a song that uses the oldest excuse in the book for a break-up.
On the other hand, they did Jimmie Rogers better the he did. Great band.
tw: “rather”: nope, not after that last thread. No way.
He’s dead, Jim:
http://corner.nationalreview.com/06_03_19_corner-archive.asp#093326
Oddly enough, evil right-wingers are people too.
Note: Ben is a lot closer to that caricature than Jeff will ever be. Perhaps someday Ben’s Protean Wiseassness will mature into Protein Wisdom. Hard knocks help.
For my money, you can’t beat On the Hunt or Gimme Back my Bullets for the best Skynyrd songs. Although if your gonna be drinking Jim Beam then Whiskey Rock n Roller might best help set the mood.
This sounds like the makin’s of a “tree-related injury” as they call ‘em down t’Georgia.
Now for a proper “tree-related injury” you need the following:
One cracker
One tree-stand
One Deer rifle
One bottle Jim B., Wild Turkey or Jack
cracker climbs tree stand
drinks bottle
shoots self by accident or
falls out of tree stand or
falls out of tree stand and shoots self by accident when hits the ground
Jeff,
You need a pick me up, this guy is just the thing:
http://berlin.wolf.ox.ac.uk/
For one thing, he makes your prose look like Hemingway…
A not entirely representative sample:
“I am determined to remain persistently frivolous, a quality which goes down with the Ambassador but no one else in this establishment, despite all, and confine the serious side of my nature to academic subjects and private life. I now know that solemnity and public seriousness are fatal qualities in the conduct of public affairs and shall never believe anything else.”
Isaiah Berlin (to Joseph Alsop), 11 February 1944
1) Slim Jims, oy. Don’t they have Jack Link where you’re from? The sticks and the pieces alike. It’s real beef!…look at me, I’m kvelling.
2) Sounds like someone needs more Beam.
3) TW: I need to take the ‘dillo less seriously.
Is the armadillo available for hire? How much lead time to get him deployed here in Pasadena?
BTW, “Sweet Home Alabama” has gotta be up there on the top Skynard song list.
Freebird usually finished 2nd to Stairway to Heaven as best rock song ever, even in Houston. Go figure.
ah freebird. i requested it from the accompianist last week, but he wasn’t familiar with it. what are they teaching piano students these days? (he’s a grad student from Italy, course “the abbess” and i tried to sing it for him, and that didn’t turn out so well)
oh, and one morning on the radio i heard freebird to heaven. hilarious.
oh, and i’d watch out for the little guy, seeing as how sleep deprevation ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Haaaaaa, Mags. That’s funny.
while the little armored bastard may be drunk, fatigued, and stinking of digested beef tubeâ€â€he’s also a damn fine shot who, god bless him, can recognize the friendlies at 200 yards.
Because once you’ve been trained by the dolphin in the pea coat, you stay trained, baby!
Yeah… imaginary little soldiers to defend you seems appropriate.
HEY…the dillo was down sniping looters in New Orleans after Katrina and well, I do not seem to recall a body count being published! So is the little shit a shot or does he shoot like he dances?
TW: I was there man
oh my lord i totally botched that. it was Stairway to Freebird. no wonder i couldn’t find it last night.
can recognize the friendlies at 200 yards.
You might want to downgrade that to 100 yards and buy me a new hat.
Unless I don’t qualify as “friendly”.
He’s got those Claymores laid out again, hasn’t he? I told ya, the mail carriers get really pissed at that shit, man. I hope tou disabled his detonator, at least.