30-years later, and Richard Belzer is still smarting from that fitful polyester morning he woke to the painful epiphany that he wasn’t Lenny Bruce or George Carlin—nor would he ever be.
Hell, he wasn’t even Robert Klein.
But god bless him if he doesn’t keep on trying, the conspiracy-ravaged, pock-faced li’l trooper!
And I don’t care what anyone says: Those trademark dark glasses of his? Provide just the right touch of danger and mystery to keep him doing audience warmup work for Leno or, say, Dave Atell, well into his late sixties —or at least until somebody figures out where Gordon Liddy had Hoffa buried. Whichever comes first…
(h/t Bob Johnson)
Awwwwww.
It’s sad to see the denizens of The Old Comics Home when they reach their dotage. I remember him as part of NatLamp Radio Hour doing all that edgy stuff and now…a teevee whore.
“Must be tha money.”
That’s rich: a B-list thespian condescending to anyone’s education. Yeah, method acting=quantum physics.
Cordially…
You gotta love the Leftist cult meme that only stupid young people who aren’t even qualified to flip burgers at McDonalds are the only ones in the military…
But for Dog’s Sake Don’t Question Their Patriotism!!
Sidenote: of my daughter Heather’s (grad highschool 2001) friends – four of them are currently Navy. Heather’s boyfriend has both his BA, Masters, and commercial pilot’s license and is waiting word on acceptance from the Navy for induction as officer and flight training (the hoops he’s gone through in pursuing that…!)
All of ‘em I know personally. High achievers from upper middle class families with LOADS of options. All wanted the military because their parents had inculcated values in ‘em. After 9/11 they wanted to give back to their country.
Sounds like Belzer is one of the ‘takers’ whose motto is “Yeah, fuck my country, what has it done for me lately?”
I gotta believe Ice justs wants Belz gone from his universe.
Is Belzer a Chicken Dove?
Not smarting from his career, Jeff, he’s still smarting from being dropped on his head after Hulk Hogan choked out his candy ass.
And what did Mr. smart-mouth do in return? He ran to his lawyer and sued for five million dollars.
Pussy.
Yeah, you know, uneducated folks like Major John with his measly JD.
I’m sorry the congresswoman didn’t hit him back with some facts and make him look like a fool as well as an asshole. Facts like those 19-year-old recruits being better educated than the national average, coming from households with incomes right at the national average, being as likely to be white than the national average, and being less likely to come from urban areas than the national average.
Jackie Mason: “Belzer? Who is this ‘Belzer’ you’re talking about?”
Richard who?
Sid Caesar was funny into his last years. Now, this schmuck…
And lemme tell ya, he’s no Buddy Hackett, either…
So, let me get this straight…if you support the war but don’t join up with the armed forces to go and fight, lefties scream “CHICKENHAWK!” at you, implying that your lack of military experience invalidates your opinion.
On the other hand, if you’re over there, your opinion on the legitimacy of the war isn’t to be trusted because you’re obviously some sort of moron who couldn’t get a job elsewhere, much less a college education.
If you’re ever confronted by a hostile robot, read the above and you’re sure to make its head asplode.
Wasn’t he the evil pimp in Night Shift who was going to embalm a still-living Michael Keaton?
Sigh. I don’t watch “SVU” anymore, although I do watch “Criminal Intent” just to see Private Pyle chew the scenery, but I liked Belzer on that show, and I liked him a lot on “Homicide.”
Shut up and act, Richard.
Ha ha ha! That was cold!
Oh, he was that idiot? I saw the tape long ago, never caught the name of the twit. Now I know….and I’m snickering.
Further, I’ve personally sworn in one man who, at the age of 33 re-enlisted in the Guard. Plus I’ve known several people above the age of 30 who enlisted expressly as a result of the war. They wanted to serve their nation. It has nothing to do with employment. It has to do with values, y’see. Something that Belzer and Maher clearly lack.
Anecdotal evidence to be sure. But I speak with a clear conscience when I categorically state that Belzer and Maher can go to hell.
And this yet another reason to be glad that I stopped watching “Law and Order” and the spin offs long ago.
The studio audience was with Belzer, but I think the home viewers are with he congresswoman. She got the best of him–he looked like a maniac.
According to his biography, he was kicked out of every school he attended and washed out of junior college. He smrt very much, he be.
Hey, Hey, give the man some credit. His wife was blazing hot in “Young Lady Chatterly 1 and II”. If my memory hasn’t failed me, and it shouldn’t have, based on the massage scene burned into my early teen subconcious, he’s yet another celeb who gets a free pass in my book.
And how come neither one of those movies were on your lists? For Chrissake, soft porn with Adam West? Classic!
Lucky bastard.
TW: must. Must hit Netflix.
I’m late to this party, but one thing *I* remembered from my own tour in the service is that I earned about 60 university semester hours from my service schools by th e time I separated and went to college.
That wasn’t including tested credits or credit by exam stuff, just the tech and advanced training schools. For which I got paid.
So I checked the “Grunt Infantry Guy’ Here
So, the army guy got paid to earn 14 semester hours worth of credit.
Plus there are tested credit programs like CLEP and DANTES which are free as well.
Hey, Jeff, you’ll get a kick out of this. I used to work in entertainment, mainly as a gaffer (lighting), a scenic artist, and a makeup artist, including prosthetics. Prosthetics are F/X makeup. I worked with Richard Belzer on the first season of “Homicide”. I was a day player makeup/prosthetics crew for one of the episodes. The episode later one an Emmy
I couldn’t stand Richard Belzer. Plus I never thought he was all that funny. I must admit he’s pretty good in “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit”, but not without Tutuolo.
Dang. Did I really write “The episide later <i>one</i an Emmy”? I are a college gradiate.
I always kinda had a soft spot for Belzer because he wasn’t funny, but his kind of forced hipness—which said, to me, “I don’t care that I’m not funny, I’m still good enough to make a living in this business”—was endearing.
But he’s always tried to play the role of the beatnik philosopher, and his comments the other night finally blew his cover. He’s a moron.
Cool that you worked with prosthetics and lighting and such. Before my son was born, I had planned to try to do a DV short film based on a story I’d published. Still have the script somewhere. Long story short, I spent about 15K in equipment (some of which—like the Lowell lights and umbrellas and mixing board I’ve since sold) that I’m just now finishing paying off. And no film.
But I’ve always been interested in prosthetic makeup and effects. What made you give it up?
Hey, Jeff, I think you should still make that film. I probably won’t agree with what you put in it, but I’d support you in making it. Filmmaking is fun and hard work. You’ll enjoy it, and you’ll learn a lot.
I gave it up because it was seasonal in my area and because I was getting older. My body can’t take the physical strain of working lighting any longer. That’s where most of the work was in my area, and it was the least favorite work of mine. There wasn’t much prosthetic makeup work where I lived. Anywhere you go most work is in lighting and sound. It’s very physically strenuous, and it took a toll on my body. I sure buffed up, though. I liked the way I looked, and I liked the work. I’d like to get back into it someday, mainly as either a scenic artist or a makeup artist. Makeup was my favorite line of work. I read a lot about biology and anatomy, and I learned a lot doing it.
When I worked on “Homicide”, the city coroner was on hand to check out our work. He said that I got the projectory right for a gunshot wound to the head that I had done. Most people would have placed the bullet wound too far up the back of the skull in the one I did. I placed it at the right spot, at the nape of the neck. Plus, there was a forensic “body” museum in the coroner’s building. Some other guys in the crew found it, and all of us went to see it. It was fascinating to see jars full of cancerous organs and fetuses at the various stages of development. We kept going into that museum during our breaks. It was a small museum – not to the scale of something like the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia – but it was still very interesting to see. I learned a lot on that shoot.