Well, there’s been no discernable growth in the size of the moles over the last couple hours, but as a pessimist, I can’t help but to point out that it’s still early.
Developing….
update: Also, I should point out that I can’t see the moles on my back, one or two of which are what prompted the doctor to refer me to a dermatologist. So for all I know, one of those mothers could be the size of a consistency of chunky chocolate fudge cookie by now.
They’re probably resting. Gathering their strength for the main assault.
No doubt this is a direct result of our failure to ratify Kyoto. Sometimes I am ashamed to be an American.
MOLES DON’T SURF!
Tom DeLay won his primary yesterday…
coincidence?
because of the hate!
As someone who’s indulged just about every risky behavior imaginable (well, except for that one), including four summers in my youth as a lifeguard in Texas, I empathize with your anxiety. Hope it turns out to be nothing.
Resting? They’re having dinner.
It may have metastisized. You’ve probably got a brain tumor, Jeff.
From your description,they’re probably seborrheic keratoses.These waaxy loooking patches have a stuck on appearance.the mnemonic for malignant melanoma is
A=assymetry.If you can’t fold it on itself,it’s bad
B=borders fuzzy=bad
C=more than one color
D=diameter bigger than a pencil eraser(6mm)E=It’s enlarging
Seb K’s can be quickly removed by liquid nitrogenDon’t pay too much.
(of course if it’s a melanoma,everything changes)
Do any of these moles resemble Mohammed or bin Laden (actually they all look the same to me)?
Have you seen that movie where that guy has an extra head grow out of his shoulder?
Just askin’…
The odds are really in your favor—remember that. But you’re making me think about my own moles. The itchy ones on my back that I can’t see.
My problem is that I have a dermatologist who seems determined to milk every appointment for all the medical dollars she can. I go in to have two moles removed. She sees me and tells me that for “insurance” reasons, she can’t remove any moles that same day. I have to come back again.
Strange, but I put up with that. Then I return to have the moles removed. She removes one and tells me to have a nice day. When I ask about the other mole, she tells me to come back in two weeks.
Huh?
As far as I can see, she has turned what should have been a single appointment into three separate visits.
Does anyone else have this problem? I got so annoyed that I haven’t gone back lately to check out any other moles, which I really should do every six months or year.
I seem to recall many years ago having four moles removed in one day. Do dermatologists do that anymore? If they do, I want to find a different dermatologist. Soon.
BECAUSE OF THE ONCOLOGY!!!
Jeff,
You are OK if I pretend not to have seen these moles, right?
Corwin —
I have one on my arm that is about the diameter of a pencil eraser and that often gets a bit dry. I have another smaller one on the same arm that fits the same description.
The other dark ones match your description. My GP said they were probably nothing and not to worry about it. But good luck with all that.
Jeff,
You don’t have any of those fleshy appendage looking moles do you? I just pull those much to the chagrine of my dermatologist….
Ooogh, this thread has seriously killed my appetite.
mo-ley mo-ley mo-ley…
Been there, had them removed, most were of the “we don’t know what the fuck they are”. And I’m still kickin’ hippies’ asses and takin’ names. Best of luck.
Well, there are a couple things I don’t think have been mentioned yet, likely for obvious reasons.
One, you can set traps for the bastages.
Two, there not big until you no longer require the use of a pillow, then you sleep on your side like I do.
I’m guessing the dolphin in the pea coat knows a thing or two about moles. You might want to ask him.
…consistency of chunky chocolate fudge cookie…
So even when you’re dying you still have to taunt Oliver Willis. Bad karma, dude.
Read about technology increasing lifespan to 100 years or more over here.
You haven’t had any hostile encounters with witch doctors lately, have you?
If they are gray and fuzzy, that could be even worse.
TW: Either way, it’s a sad state of affairs…
Also, I should point out that I can’t see the moles on my back…
Dude, that’s what wives are for.
Ah, but they can see you…
Are you sure they’re moles? They might be oppossums or even that damned armadillo.
Gina,
Whether you have insurance or not, it sounds like your doctor has adjusted to the new regime.
Briefly: when the doctor sends the bill to the insurance company, they respond, “F* no, we’ll pay about half that.” Or less. The doc has to take it or nothing, or spend ten times that fighting the decision, which will be the same on the next bill regardless of who wins.
So they require multiple visits. It’s more work, or at least more hours, but they get paid for each one, and the total is what they want to charge for doing it all in one go plus a little lagniappe for the extra time.
If you have a co-pay or a good-sized deductible, consider asking your doctor if she’ll do the procedure for cash on the barrelhead, without involving the insurance company at all. You may be pleasantly surprised. The insurance company may be unhappy, though, and she’ll know that too.
Regards,
Ric
Ric,
Thanks for your idea about offering cash. My copay alone is $30 and then I pay part of the doctor’s bill too, so I’d probably come out ahead paying cash if she’ll take less than the $90 I pay in co-pays alone for 3 visits.
But I think I’ll see if I can find a dermatologist who’s willing to go nuts and remove at least 2 moles at once. I don’t have time for this.
P.S. The more I write about the multiple appointments to remove two moles, the more annoyed I’m getting. It’s all well and good for the doctor, but my time is valuable too. It takes me a least an hour of travel time (1/2 hour each way) just getting to the doctor and back, not to mention the waiting room time and exam room waiting which is probably another hour minutes each time. So this doctor is wasting about an extra half day of my time by the time we’re done (which by the way is worth a lot since I’m a self-employed attorney) just so she can squeeze extra dollars out if the insurance company (plus an extra $60 out of my pocket in extra copayments). What arrogance. What lack of concern for her patients. I don’t think I trust her anymore if that’s how she shows her concern for her patients.
Sorry Jeff, I’m venting here but haven’t forgotten about your worries. It is a little tense until you get good news, which I hope you will soon.
If it makes you feel any better, I just returned from urgent care where I was prescribed antibiotics to get rid of the nose hair infection that’s left me with a misshapen, bulbous, rummy, W.C. Fieldsy, and sore-ass M.F. schnoz. I’d hate to die from this, ‘cause that would be embarrassing.
Don’t worry, Jeff. It’s probably just your underdeveloped twin finally deciding to make an appearance.
Gina,
It sounds like the problem is the insurance companies, forcing your doctor to put you through this inconvenience in order to get paid. I understand it sucks from your POV, but if the option is for her to essentially work partly for free, that isn’t okay either, as I see it.
Pablo,
IT’S NOT A TOOMAH!
(sorry, I liked Kindergarden Cop and the line has just stuck over the years).
At any time during the exam, did the Doctor say any of the following:
“Good Lord! *choke*”
“Level 4, stat!”
“Did you ever read ‘The Hot Zone’?”
“It leaps, it creeps, it crawls…”
“Does this Hazmat suit make me look fat?”
If not, you’re probably okay.
Best of luck, Jeff.
Nitrogen bottle. I’ve got what Corwin described.
I could write a series about that. Barefoot and shirtless in Texas ‘till I left, then working outside since then. Thank goodness I’ve got a lot of Sioux in my background…
I KNOW about the nitrogen bottle. FWIW, my GP has had me biopsied once, and since then I see him about every six months for a shotgun session with the bottle. All good so far. I think the record was more than twenty sites one visit. I look like a refugee from an OFF commercial for about a week afterwards.
TW – “subject”. One never knows what subject Jeff will bring up next.
I woke up one morning and went to the bathroom to splatter the old bladder and found that I had two blisters on the head of my dick. I scratched at one of them to see if it hurt and sure enough it was just a pair of contact lenses.
Gina,
Does your doctor know you’re a lawyer? That may be part of the problem :-\
Seriously: Attila Girl has it right. My doc runs, as a large part of his practice, a sort of outreach for low-income folks. He says the insurance companies are cutting off their noses to spite their faces—that they’re cutting preventive and maintenance medicine to the bone, and ending up spending more in emergency and hospital care as a result of that. From the other side, the insurance companies don’t care to finance people who run to the doc at every sniffle, because it runs up costs and displaces people with more serious problems. It’s possible that there’s no good answer for the problem, because both sides have persuasive arguments.
So why are you fooling around with insurance at all? Say you’re billing yourself at $300 an hour, twice what I’m charged at (I’m a tech). A half hour appointment, half an hour each way, and (if it matches my experience) an hour waiting as the doc’s schedule stretches, is $800 worth of your time, which you’re spending to avoid paying $150 to $200 for an office visit. It’s stupid, especially since it makes the doc resent you—she knows the insurance company is going to chisel her, she knows you could pay directly if you wanted to, and the result is that she feels you’re trying to screw her out of a decent living. If she feels that way, whether she’s right or not, that’s the opinion she’s going to act on.
There’s also the fact that a lot of docs feel that stuff that’s appearance-related but doesn’t really impact much on health and activity is of lower priority. If your moles are unsightly but not cancerous she may be downgrading you in order to have more time for the guy in the next room with early-stage prostate cancer.
So you need (a) a new doc (this relationship is poisoned) and (b) a different insurance policy. The doc needs to be one who’ll pay attention to your cosmetic concerns and is able to reassure you about the moles. The insurance should pay off for catastrophic things like extended hospital stays, but you should (at your income level) be paying out of pocket for office visits, prescriptions, and the like. Yeah, you’re gonna end up subsidizing poor people; get over it. The saving on policy premiums will go a long way toward covering the costs, and the doc will see you as self-supporting and you’ll get better service, which will cut the avoidance cost of the wasted time. My bet is you’ll be 10-15% ahead of the game in the long run—the Vimes Theory of Relative Economics as applied to medicine.
Regards,
Ric
tw: remember that time is money.
Look into Medical Savings Accounts. I think they still exist and I understand they are pretty good optios for self employed types.*
* Consult you tax advisor
A friend of mine had some moles on the back of his neck just like Jeff describes. Just like that, he died of a heart attack 32 years latter. So, you know, be careful.
My wife had something different (squamous cell carcinoma) removed from her abdomen this past fall. The diagnosis came a week before our wedding. Talk about taking your mind off things…
She’s fine now and we got a headstart on the whole sickness and health thing.
Be well, Jeff. We’re rooting for you here.
Two quick mole stories:
1. I’d had this giant mole at my waistline on my back for as long as I could remember; I never actually saw it, obviously, but I always knew it was there. After my kids were born, my midwife told me, “Get that mole removed – you now indubitably have something to live for.” So I did. Turned out it looked like a bunch of grapes (only smaller, of course – still big though, almost marble-sized). The dermatologist said it was “cute.” I thought it was just weird.
2. Last Christmas, while on vacation, I discovered a new mole on my leg – dark red, irregular, and because it hadn’t been there before I knew it was growing, though it was still much smaller than a pencil eraser. Panic in the streets! I asked my husband’s oncology-nurse cousin about it; she was noncommittal, said, “Sure, go have it looked at when you get home, but it’s probably nothing,” which didn’t help all that much. Then, day before our vacation ended, the mole… um… came off; it was a little scab from a shaving cut. [eye roll] My husband still ribs me about it.
TW: Still, having larger moles removed is generally a good thing.
You have a ways to go before you get your hypochondriac certification. So far this year I’ve had cancer TWICE, an MS scare, possible lupus, previously unknown sexually transmitted diseases from the Third World, & the first case of human bird flu contracted by Canadian geese flyovers
Note to self: Do not come to PW one hour before or after meals.
Next we will be seeing colonoscopy photos, I am sure.
Just hope that one of them isn’t a Shiite and the other a Sunni. All hell could break out.
When I was in the Peace Corps I once had diarhea so bad I involuntarily shit all over myself while watching a beautiful sunrise.
No, it’s not a mole story; I’m just trying to stay ahead of what looks like a developing theme.
1) Homer said it best:
Mmm, chocolate fudge! Aaaarghhrhgh <drool>…
Now you need an eruption that tastes like Duff.
2) Blogkvetch: Last TW was “easy” but lost that and my typed text when blog told me I forgot my email (needed now? ok, whatever). No persistence of the comment field, tsk.
TW: Of course that’s not necessarily your job.
I actually am going to ask what it would cost to just skip the insurance co. next time. But I’m still annoyed about the dermatologist. Even if I didn’t work and just knitted in my spare time, it would be presumptuous and rude for the doctor to unnecessarily require three appointments where one will do. As a lawyer, I don’t deliberately waste my clients’ time or money, but here she is doing that to her patients. I don’t think she’s singling me out because I’m a lawyer. This seems to be her routine procedure.
But I do have a story about my daughter. When she was 15 months old a young doctor at our pediatrician’s office ordered her hospitalized for severe dehydration caused by a bad stomach flu. I was a nervous wreck. A day or two later the doctor said our daughter could go home. She still had the flu but she was doing better. That’s when I discovered small red spots all over my daughter’s feet.
I told the doctor about it. He examined her feet, licked his finger, and rubbed off a red spot. It turned out to be splattered jello from our daughter’s hospital meal. (Don’t ask how it got on her feet. As I said, she was 15 months old.)
Later when we were walking out to the parking lot with the doctor, my husband told the doctor this would be a case for the medical journals. “Jello Foot.”
– I thought Liberals were the experts on “moles”.
Did you know dogs can smell cancerous moles? There have been several anecdotal tales of dogs attacking their owner’s moles, which later turn out to be cancerous.
Scientists caught wind of this, and recently set out to prove this one way or the other. They ran a series of tests and found dogs can differentiate between healthy urine and urine from someone with kidney cancer. Amusingly, during the test one woman who was screened as OK kept being picked by the dogs as cancerous, so they retested the woman just to be safe. Turned out the dogs were right and the initial test was wrong: she had cancer.
So if dogs start growling at your moles, suspect the worst.
And in color, for sure.
Gina, while you may be frustrated by your insurance company’s regulations, you should be grateful that they cover cosmetic procedures like mole removal. That’s pretty unusual in the health insurance marketplace.
You might ask your dermatologist is he/she has a “package deal”, i.e. 10 spots for $150 or 15 spots for $200 and perform a cost/benefit analysis on the worth of giving up the insurance benefit for the convenience.
……..
Corwin provides a nice summary of the ABC’s of skin growth classification. Also, seborrheic keratoses can be a bit alarming at first because they sometimes grow rather quickly. Although they can sometimes be scratched off for a seemingly easy and free solution, they almost always grow back. Don’t anyone ask how I found that out. Liquid nitrogen is a solution but some physicians use a little device, whose name escapes me, that looks like a soldering iron which burns away the material. It requires a syringe-applied local anesthetic and is 100% effective.
……
Jamie, sounds like you had a hemangioma. Completely harmless.
Not necessarily true.
I can only share with you what I know from working at an HMO for 10 years.
Doctors tend to get paid by procedures, or by “capitation”, which is a certain total dollar amount per person assigned to that doctor (if the doc is a family doc / pedes / internal med, etc.).
So, in either case, it behooves the doc to get you in ASAP. If they get paid by procedure, they’ll squeeze as many in per day; if they get paid by cap – they’ll want you in and out ASAP.
I get the impression that your dermatologist probably has too many patients – therefore, probably not the insurance company’s fault.
TV (Harry)
Gina,
After reading your first comment – I’ll amend my prior post. It tells me that the insurance company is not at fault – the doctor is.
If she gets paid by procedure (since she’s a specialist, she almost surely does), she’s billing for 3 different procedures, when she could have done them all at once. In the latter case, she can only bill for one procedure.
This is dishonest, if you ask me. Doctors will whine that they aren’t paid enough in the first place, and will justify this in any case. It’s still dishonest on the doctor’s part.
TV (Harry)
Thank you, Inspector Callahan.
I rest my case.
Maybe we can trigger some Google Ads for home colonic kits if we keep this up… with animated gifs…