Managed to get a dermatologist appointment today, so I’m going to bring these bastard moles to a mole expert and get his opinion on them. I’m hoping he hates them with such a burning fury that he melts them off with a soldering iron.
But don’t tell them I said that. They’re mean, spiteful, suspicious things, these irregular-shaped lesions—and it was all I could do just to get them to go later today. Had to give each of them a roll of fifty one-dollar bills and convince them I was taking them to an upscale strip joint.
So forgive me if you get posts from the archives today that may or may not be worth revisiting.
Liquid nitrogen would be my guess……..
Should be a simple slice & dice. The little fu***rs have absolutely no gravitas … especially when they’re dealing with a superior hominal forum. Give ‘em short shrift.
FIFTY?! Randy little buggers…
Superfluous nipples?
T/W Yeah, go ahead and give me a dozen nipple clamps with the complimentary anal beads.
And we can read … you fucking Jew.
Unless they’re really cancerous, in which case they’ll core out a plug of flesh the size of your thumb.
For each one.
You know – To be sure they’ve got all of it.
Furthermore, I resent you calling us “mean, spiteful” things. Baseless slander.
I’ve a hunch…. I’ll never see this title used for a blog post again.
Nice comment there, “Paul Zrimsek.”
Zrimsek, Zrimsek.
Let me guess – dumb Polack?
Typical neocon– go straight for the X-ray gun and never even stop to consider diplomacy.
MOLE-OPHOBES!
Nevi you mind, guys.
Enough of the moles, where’s the armadillo? And what is Jeff’s obsession with rodentia?
Do ya suppose the moles and that disease bearin’ critter have any connection. BECAUSE OF THE ARMADILLO TRANSMITTED LOATHSOME DISEASE COVER-UP!
Boy are they going to be pissed off when they get acid instead of aureola—better get em all at once!
We at the MCLU would like to remind everyone that this post does not refer to the warm, fuzzy, cute little mammals that inadvertently make holes in your yard.
So please, put away that poison. We have rights too.
In a gesture of anti-speciesism, we also ask Mr. Goldstein to refrain from using the term “mole” entirely. Perfectbly acceptable terms are:
That brown thing on my arm.
Skin colorization in specific places.
Not a tattoo.
Using these tasteful and homogenized terms will help us advance the cause of mole civil rights everywhere.
Thank you and have a great day.
Jeff, in your case, wouldn’t those be beauty marks?
Were you aware that moles swallow? Huh? Well were ya? Didn’t think so.
Cut to Brawny Man clit ring clip……..
I thought Jeff was the moles’ beauty mark… I’m here all week, try the veal.