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Sowing the seeds of love

Sure, this is meant as a whole grain-manipulated attack on UN ambassador John Bolton and his straight-talking mustache, Regis—particularly on their aggressive, hard-line reform strategy for the UN (which some critics believe will further reinforce the “world community’s” poor opinion of the US as hyperpower bullies in Stetsons)—the entire critique punned into an artistic, fiber-rich performative. 

But to me, all it says is this:  now there’s a piece of seed art that, when called upon, can easily do six belts of 18-year-old single malt Scotch, crawl out of the bed he’s sharing with a couple of stewardesses, and still remain cool enough to prompt some frightened, effete Syrian diplomat to take refuge under a big Mahogany desk for fear of having to look into those dark, disapproving glasses —even though Bolton is dressed in nothing more than a fluffy white bathrobe, open-toed slippers, and a Sinatra-like scowl.

But then, I have my biases, I suppose.  And rest assured, from an intentionalist standpoint, I hold no such illusions that this is what the artist had in mind.

****

(via Lileks; h/t Ben Domenech)

14 Replies to “Sowing the seeds of love”

  1. PDS says:

    This is one of the first fiber rich performatives I’ve seen in a long time.

  2. Sean M. says:

    Feh.  It’s no giant papier-mache head.

  3. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Well, to paraphrase Johnny Cade from The Outsiders, “That mustang(sche) is tuff.  Tuff.”

  4. Paul Zrimsek says:

    It is blasphemy to show images of the Mustache! Whose embassy do we torch?

  5. What you mean “destruction,” lefty anti-American fellow traveler?

    (I guess the Tonto joke doesn’t travel so well….)

  6. Sticky B says:

    I’ll bet Ms. Theresa Anderson of St. Paul feels very satisfied with herself right about now. She stuck it to the man……and then some.

  7. Lew Clark says:

    Imam Paul, you must be for specific in your fatwah.  Personally, I think torching a McDonalds in St. Paul would show appropriate angst.

  8. Rich in Martigues says:

    We will burn the theatre down around Garrison Keillor!  Feel the rage of Regis!  Bow down before him!  Crush his enemies, see them driven before him, and hear the lamentations of their women!

    TW:  Afterword, Regis will swill a fine Glenfinnich and pleasure 3 call girls in the local hotel.

  9. natesnake says:

    It looks more like Wilford Brimley.

    T/W potent When Regis shoots his load, it’s like a full course meal for the lady.

  10. Stacy says:

    The “Har Mar Superstar” one was better.

  11. alex says:

    I’m sorry, but that’s so LAME!

    I mean–your avant-garde colleagues are flinging their own blood and excrement everywhere, drawing Bush festooned with bloody infant-corpses and Sharon fucking the Queen Mother (I’m just pulling shit out of the air, here)–you just can’t bring your B game to this party, *Teresa Anderson*, know what I’m saying?

    I don’t know, I really don’t. Maybe if you urinated on it, I could begin to respect you more as an artist.

  12. lee says:

    I’ll give her $100 for it. It’s magnificent! And if Bolton did cause the destruction of the UN as we know it, just think what it would be worth then!

  13. McGehee says:

    Whatever you do, do not look too deeply into the twin abysses that are the lenses of the Seed-Bolton’s glasses.

    If you do, you—you’ll … well, just don’t, okay?

  14. Lonetown says:

    Sure, its a very nice job he/she has done with seeds but what can he/she do with the non-seed ingredients in granola.

    I’m betting fifth grade at best.

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