9 Al Gore panders that his handlers revised out of the final draft of his speech to the Saudis
“No one can tell me America doesn’t deserve a national food patty! And from where I’m standing, I can see absolutely no reason why the falafel—not the ecologically destructive hamburger – shouldn’t receive that honor, as a show of international friendship.”
“Sure, visually, Lawrence of Arabia is a great film. But let’s face it: from a narrative perspective, the last thing the Arabs needed was some presumptuous white man riding around like he owned the damned desert, fighting battles that were none of his damn business. Am I right?”
“In the American south, we enjoy iced tea. But let me tell y’all: sipping iced tea is like drinking camel piss compared to this delicious traditional sweet tea your country brews!”
“Ever notice—and let’s keep this between you and me—but ever notice how the current US President…well, kinda looks like a chimp?”
“Now, I’m as American as the next Yank, but a fact is a fact: were we ever to allow infielders to wield scimitars or wear sandals, you Saudis would whip our butts bad at baseball. And that’s supposed to be our national pasttime!”
“To be honest with ya? Most women look better covered from head to toe in burlap. Which, at the very least, such accomodations would keep Tipper from asking me with each new outfit she tries on if her ass looks fat…”
“If the Sonoma Valley could produce wine as perfect as this fermented fig juice you guys are serving up, why, we wouldn’t even need your oil! Instead, we’d be beholden to your refreshing figgy goodness!”
“Heck, I don’t even watch American movies anymore—so disgusted am I by all the sex and the special effects trickery. CGI? The Devil’s own mirages, is what that stuff is.”
“You know what sucks? Pork. Pork sucks. There, I said it!”
54 Replies to “9 Al Gore panders that his handlers revised out of the final draft of his speech to the Saudis”
10. And oh, I’d much rather be repeatedly sodomized for money by you swarthy rich oil guys than be fucked for one more minute BY THOSE PRICKS WHO STOLE MY RIGHTFUL PRESIDENCY! I mean, I have my values!
10. You know what, with just a few minor modifications, my wife, Tipper’s Parents Music Resource Center could cover all the problem stuff – sex, drugs, desecration of Mohammed, Jews … whatever ..
Wait, I didn’t get my talking points fax this morning…so we’re abandoning the whole “Bush was sucking up to the Saudis” meme and we’re starting the “Bush isn’t sucking up enough to the Saudis” thing?
That’s the gist of it, ArizonaTeach. Apparently the check to Gore cleared—you know, the one from when the Clinton administration set up “Visa Express”.
TW: “Fiscal”. Yes, I am saying his reasons are fiscal.
10. “Oh, and for my money, I think we in America are too hung up on the “free” part, and not enough on the “speach” part. I think you all know what I mean.”
10. “I thought I might tell a favorite joke of mine to sort of break the ice. It goes like this: A Jew, a Shi’ite, and a Republican are all flying on a plane together. It then explodes in midair. Allahu Akhbar, or what?!”
Hey, it turns out I really AM an academic failure. Glenn Greenwald is being linked and discussed at length at the Corner. Me? Never once got a Corner link. I believe he was also linked by Andrew Sullivan. Haven’t gotten one of those yet, either.
Nor a link from Taranto.
Personally, I’m thinking about pulling a WWF-style switch and becoming a bad guy all of a sudden. Join with the left. Man. I’d be HELL on y’all!
Interesting idea. Wait until there’s a big controversy. Then, sneak up behind Hugh Hewitt and hit him with a chair. Then, make obscene gestures at the crowd. Works every time.
There are only three on there that (no kidding) I’d love to have gotten links from: Volokh, Best of the Web, and Lileks. To get back to the place where I had a chance I’d actually have to start writing again–and I just don’t have the time anymore.
Even worse, I’ve lost some of the motivation. Of course, it’s nothing that a few groupies wouldn’t cure…
I am pretty damned surprised that you haven’t been linked by all of the above, though. Perhaps especially that you haven’t been linked (angrily) by Kos and Eschaton.
<style switch and becoming a bad guy all of a sudden. Join with the left. Man. I’d be HELL on y’all!</blockquote>
I tried that myself just for kicks. Frankly it’s exhausting trying to keep up the flow of simulated hate. After awhile there’s an irresistable desire to just ask people wtf they’re thinking of. And that’ll pretty much end that.
Though it was fun for a little while. You can make up anything you like and there’ll always be someone who will go “OMG! Bush is evil!”.
Honestly, with this NSA stuff and the work on identity politics and language, I have tried to take that next step as blogger—the one where I’m taken seriously. But I’m spilling lots of words, and evidently it ain’t impressing the people necessary for me to take that next step
So, As I’m now having plenty of self doubt about the quality of product I put out here, I think I may disappear into the ether for a few days to collect my thoughts.
In the meantime, you’ll be getting haikus and the like while I decide if these long detailed posts I’ve been putting up are at all worth the effort.
You did get robbed of your Kos link, even though you had a Front Page Diary that referenced you. Perhaps next time you should let your Kos visitor think he had made an excellent point with sound reasoning, and cower a little in his presence. Then you’d get a link.
For what its worth, your blog is the only one I must read on a daily basis. (It’s pema-linked at the top of my browser.) The problem is that you’re short entries are often running jokes and therefore take too much time for people to appreciate and your essays are not quick reads and easy to get. (I also think that sometimes you bury the money quote, the reasons to link to you, too far down for people to quickly find.)
You don’t write for the passive reader but an active one. Hell, I keep thinking there’s going to be a test later. I think it’s great, but your entries are so extensive and full of so many links that it takes far too much effort for most people to read. An “A-list†linking to you would be like saying, “hey, check out this guy whose doing a better job than I amâ€Â! Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Plus, the site is all over the place in regards to subject and style. There’s also the weed smoking references, Penis jokes, lesbian prison humor, etc. It’s great, but I am guessing that this means it can’t be nicely placed into its section of the political machine like every other blog. In other words, the “A-listers†believe your demographic is unrecognizable and therefore can’t be specifically targeted. They are trying to spread the word and build coalitions. Linking to you would be like linking to the 70’s “Saturday Night Liveâ€Â. Brilliant show, and one of, if not the best social commentaries of that decade, but no one is going to use it to spread its political goals.
I don’t spend that much time on blogs so I could be completely full of it.
I thought the Katrina and NSA posts were probably the “Best of the Web” and I followed just about every one of them (except for the moonbat sites). I honestly think that critical analysis, logic, reason and straight forward communication are your strong points. Just keep it topical, straight and reasonable. Thus the links will come.
Or….you could semi sell out ala John Cole. You know take on a lefty as a poster, let the idiots that comment on his site take over here when you have a premature “kneejerk” response to some perceived Admin failure. Cole is all over the map and, unlike you, has no consistent philosophy. I honestly think that he is playing to his commenters.
Just continue to be consistent…be you. If you become a “blog force” it will be because you merit the recognition. If you do not, you maintain your integrity and credibility.
Jeff, your counter is sitting at 3.8m you are in the big time. bloggers are graced by your links not the other way around . how many others are able to argue from the sewer hole of idento politics and pomo logic? none.
Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick – you are on MY blogroll. Doesn’t that count for anything?
(I guess I shouldn’t mention that my counter to Rep. Murtha was linked to on the Corner…especially since I am still about 3.8 million hits behind you).
huh? Atrios linked you, on the NSA stuff. i ‘memba arguing there.
and, Kos, well because of you and Darksyde i got to post Allah’s whole analysis of the leftist talking points UBL cribbed for his video. and the comments stayed up! so Allah got linked by Kos.
quit whining. Charles links you. can taranto and the corner be far behind?
Jeff, they don’t link you because they’re scared of you. Their product is so inferior that sending any traffic your way would corrupt their readership.
If I was a coke dealer, and my shit was 30% pure, would I tell them about the coke down the street that’s 60% pure? Fuck no!
As one artist to another: stop second-guessing yourself. And don’t compromise your vision. The moment you do, it comes back to bite you in the ass.
While he was still alive, Nabokov wasn’t a mainstream writer (Vladimir who?). Now, his writing genius is being recognized by even the dimmest bulbs in academia. What do you think it takes to be a true original? Courage. In fact, the only difference between you and the person you most admire is often nothing more than a little courage. So, courage, Jeff.
Just another clue that you’re not actually “conservative” and certainly not right-wing. The fact that our putative “left” these days is just a collection of miserable reactionaries may account for the widespread confusion, of which you are not the only victim.
Hitch your star to the Instadork and don’t worry about the zero list. Your yourself know more than anyone that confusing consensus with truth is the last refuge of the pomo-nihilist-nitwit.
Oh, and brevity is still the soul of wit, just sayin’…
Jeddah Saudi Arabia – The Jeddah Economic Forum, the Saudi Arabia seminar that was addressed by former Vice President Al Gore over the weekend in a speech that criticized the U.S. for abusing Arabs. The forum was funded and sponsored by Osama Bin Laden’s family. Jeddah is also Osama Bin Laden’s hometown.
On Saturday, the state-run Saudi news outlet Arab News reported that the Jeddah Economic Forum, where Gore spoke, was funded by the Saudi Bin Laden Group, Gulf One Investment Bank, Saudi Basic Industries Corp.” and other companies with ties to Bin Laden Group in the Middle East.
The Saudi Bin Laden Group – which is Saudi Arabia’s largest construction company – is run by Osama Bin Laden’s father, brothers and cousins. The Jeddah, economic forum was held and attended by Gore,
AL GORE SLAMS THE UNITED STATES
GORE’S CLAIMS OF ABUSE – WITHOUT PROOF
The Former Vice President Al Gore told a Saudi audience on Sunday that the U.S. government committed “terrible abuses” against Arabs after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, Gore said Arabs had been “indiscriminately rounded up” and held in “unforgivable” conditions. The former vice president office and his staff and offices have routinely failed to provide any proof of these claims, blocking any investigations by any independent third party.
NOTE:
Numerous news services contacted Al Gores office for further evidence of Gores claims. Gores office refused to talk to AP, and refused several other news services found that Gores office had no supporting proof of abuse.
10. And oh, I’d much rather be repeatedly sodomized for money by you swarthy rich oil guys than be fucked for one more minute BY THOSE PRICKS WHO STOLE MY RIGHTFUL PRESIDENCY! I mean, I have my values!
10. You know what, with just a few minor modifications, my wife, Tipper’s Parents Music Resource Center could cover all the problem stuff – sex, drugs, desecration of Mohammed, Jews … whatever ..
Just think, back in ‘88, people thought this douchebag was a moderate.
Hard to believe, but true.
He probly was. Who knows what getting spanked by a guy with big ears and a cowboy hat wil do to a guy.
Sorry, that chould be who ELSE knows…
:-D
TW: evening. not quite gay enough to post the first sentence that came to mind. i’ll be back in my little closet, thanks
:-D
10. “About Liberman? He’s one of the good ones, I tell ya. He never once- in my presence- ate one of those muslim baby-blood pastries.”
Wait, I didn’t get my talking points fax this morning…so we’re abandoning the whole “Bush was sucking up to the Saudis” meme and we’re starting the “Bush isn’t sucking up enough to the Saudis” thing?
That’s the gist of it, ArizonaTeach. Apparently the check to Gore cleared—you know, the one from when the Clinton administration set up “Visa Express”.
TW: “Fiscal”. Yes, I am saying his reasons are fiscal.
10. “Oh, and for my money, I think we in America are too hung up on the “free” part, and not enough on the “speach” part. I think you all know what I mean.”
tw:”law”
Yeah, there ought to be, but there ain’t.
#9 sounds suspiciously Jewish, Mr. Gore. Or should I say, Gorestein?
Does anyone know who/what/which group was and is still instrumental in not allowing drilling in ANWAR for fear of …..?
They should’ve left in that bit about pork sucking. ‘Cause, you know, that’s just true.
Ahhhh, I love figgy goodness. Not faggy goodness, you understand. Was that too defensive?
10. “I thought I might tell a favorite joke of mine to sort of break the ice. It goes like this: A Jew, a Shi’ite, and a Republican are all flying on a plane together. It then explodes in midair. Allahu Akhbar, or what?!”
Hey, it turns out I really AM an academic failure. Glenn Greenwald is being linked and discussed at length at the Corner. Me? Never once got a Corner link. I believe he was also linked by Andrew Sullivan. Haven’t gotten one of those yet, either.
Nor a link from Taranto.
Personally, I’m thinking about pulling a WWF-style switch and becoming a bad guy all of a sudden. Join with the left. Man. I’d be HELL on y’all!
Jeff,
Interesting idea. Wait until there’s a big controversy. Then, sneak up behind Hugh Hewitt and hit him with a chair. Then, make obscene gestures at the crowd. Works every time.
I got a link from the Corner once. But only because I pimped myself shamelessly. And, if memory serves, it wasn’t about anything substantive.
But it still made me smile.
Luckily, though, I’m not an academic, so I can’t be a failure in that particular arena.
Zombyboy  NO PORK… NO PEACE! NO PORK… NO PEACE!
Should a bunch of brown folks be cheering a guy named after a slave-owning secessionist general? I’m just askin’.
‘course, maybe the Arabs just remember great granpa as a good customer…
‘course, maybe the Arabs just remember great granpa as a good customer…
Nicely done.
The big bloggers who’ve shut me out on links all these years:
Volokh – 0
Corner – 0
Best of the Web – 0
Kos – 0
TPM – 0
Eschaton – 0
Huffington Post – 0
Washington Monthly – 0
Scrappleface – 0
IMAO – 0
Sullivan – 0
Lileks – 0
There are only three on there that (no kidding) I’d love to have gotten links from: Volokh, Best of the Web, and Lileks. To get back to the place where I had a chance I’d actually have to start writing again–and I just don’t have the time anymore.
Even worse, I’ve lost some of the motivation. Of course, it’s nothing that a few groupies wouldn’t cure…
I am pretty damned surprised that you haven’t been linked by all of the above, though. Perhaps especially that you haven’t been linked (angrily) by Kos and Eschaton.
Buck up, little camper. There’s still time.
Hmmm.
“A couple more zeros on that check and I’ll leave ya Tipper. I mean a *tip*. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.”
Hmmm.
<style switch and becoming a bad guy all of a sudden. Join with the left. Man. I’d be HELL on y’all!</blockquote>
I tried that myself just for kicks. Frankly it’s exhausting trying to keep up the flow of simulated hate. After awhile there’s an irresistable desire to just ask people wtf they’re thinking of. And that’ll pretty much end that.
Though it was fun for a little while. You can make up anything you like and there’ll always be someone who will go “OMG! Bush is evil!”.
I am certain the Citizens of Tennessee will be etternally grateful to you for that remark!
Just realized I wasn’t on the RCP Blog blogroll either.
Honestly, with this NSA stuff and the work on identity politics and language, I have tried to take that next step as blogger—the one where I’m taken seriously. But I’m spilling lots of words, and evidently it ain’t impressing the people necessary for me to take that next step
So, As I’m now having plenty of self doubt about the quality of product I put out here, I think I may disappear into the ether for a few days to collect my thoughts.
In the meantime, you’ll be getting haikus and the like while I decide if these long detailed posts I’ve been putting up are at all worth the effort.
Jeff- Jim Geraghty at TKS/NRO gave you a nice long quote the other day. I don’t know if you saw it, but it was nice.
Geraghty’s great. And I like the guy at the Media Blog, too—though he’s only linked me once.
But I can’t seem to crack the A-list. I think the academic failure thing has something to do with it.
Just bums me out, is all. It’ll pass.
10. And if I had known it would be used to publish blasphemous cartoons of Muhammed (pbuh), I never would have invented the internet.
You’ve still got a shot at Kos and Atrios…
You did get robbed of your Kos link, even though you had a Front Page Diary that referenced you. Perhaps next time you should let your Kos visitor think he had made an excellent point with sound reasoning, and cower a little in his presence. Then you’d get a link.
Jeff,
For what its worth, your blog is the only one I must read on a daily basis. (It’s pema-linked at the top of my browser.) The problem is that you’re short entries are often running jokes and therefore take too much time for people to appreciate and your essays are not quick reads and easy to get. (I also think that sometimes you bury the money quote, the reasons to link to you, too far down for people to quickly find.)
You don’t write for the passive reader but an active one. Hell, I keep thinking there’s going to be a test later. I think it’s great, but your entries are so extensive and full of so many links that it takes far too much effort for most people to read. An “A-list†linking to you would be like saying, “hey, check out this guy whose doing a better job than I amâ€Â! Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Plus, the site is all over the place in regards to subject and style. There’s also the weed smoking references, Penis jokes, lesbian prison humor, etc. It’s great, but I am guessing that this means it can’t be nicely placed into its section of the political machine like every other blog. In other words, the “A-listers†believe your demographic is unrecognizable and therefore can’t be specifically targeted. They are trying to spread the word and build coalitions. Linking to you would be like linking to the 70’s “Saturday Night Liveâ€Â. Brilliant show, and one of, if not the best social commentaries of that decade, but no one is going to use it to spread its political goals.
I don’t spend that much time on blogs so I could be completely full of it.
– I could picture cowering for a Kosmoninny about as much as screwing Huffington even if it was with someone elses dick…. yeh that could happen…
TW: Just put the pizza by the door Arianna and leave… We’ll…. er…. get back too you….
You know, we could start a rumor about Gore. We know how much they loooove rumors over there.
Weren’t you named Jew Tool Of The Week or something at Atrios’s place a while back?
RECOGNIZE!
(Said it beforeâ€â€no audience. Rare breed of freaks here. You have to talk more into existence yourself. Good luck. [bunch of Nietzsche quotes])
Jeff,
I thought the Katrina and NSA posts were probably the “Best of the Web” and I followed just about every one of them (except for the moonbat sites). I honestly think that critical analysis, logic, reason and straight forward communication are your strong points. Just keep it topical, straight and reasonable. Thus the links will come.
Or….you could semi sell out ala John Cole. You know take on a lefty as a poster, let the idiots that comment on his site take over here when you have a premature “kneejerk” response to some perceived Admin failure. Cole is all over the map and, unlike you, has no consistent philosophy. I honestly think that he is playing to his commenters.
Just continue to be consistent…be you. If you become a “blog force” it will be because you merit the recognition. If you do not, you maintain your integrity and credibility.
10. Tipper sure knows how to fill out a burka !
Jeff, your counter is sitting at 3.8m you are in the big time. bloggers are graced by your links not the other way around
. how many others are able to argue from the sewer hole of idento politics and pomo logic? none.
Agreed. Ballon Juice is a joke. A steaming, pandering pile in the PJM firmament.
Waitaminnit, didn’t Atrios call you “wanker of the day” once? That should count.
Dear Jeff,
waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard waterboard Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback Brokeback waterboard.
Sincerely,
Andrew Sullivan
Time Blog link Goddess.
Jeff,
You seem to have received somewhere around 238 links from Instapundit over the last year or so. Not too shabby, IMO.
Anyway, yours is one of the only blogs I bother to read. No matter what direction you take it, I’m sure it’ll remain top quality.
Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick – you are on MY blogroll. Doesn’t that count for anything?
(I guess I shouldn’t mention that my counter to Rep. Murtha was linked to on the Corner…especially since I am still about 3.8 million hits behind you).
I’ve had a Corner link! Nyah nyah!
huh? Atrios linked you, on the NSA stuff. i ‘memba arguing there.
and, Kos, well because of you and Darksyde i got to post Allah’s whole analysis of the leftist talking points UBL cribbed for his video. and the comments stayed up! so Allah got linked by Kos.
quit whining. Charles links you. can taranto and the corner be far behind?
Jeff, they don’t link you because they’re scared of you. Their product is so inferior that sending any traffic your way would corrupt their readership.
If I was a coke dealer, and my shit was 30% pure, would I tell them about the coke down the street that’s 60% pure? Fuck no!
They’re just trying to keep the black man down.
Gee, you’ve never been linked on The Lost Kos? And you’re complaining about this, right?
Ex, the rumor is that he has changed his name to Abdul al-Gore—which is how I’ve been referring to him for a while now.
As one artist to another: stop second-guessing yourself. And don’t compromise your vision. The moment you do, it comes back to bite you in the ass.
While he was still alive, Nabokov wasn’t a mainstream writer (Vladimir who?). Now, his writing genius is being recognized by even the dimmest bulbs in academia. What do you think it takes to be a true original? Courage. In fact, the only difference between you and the person you most admire is often nothing more than a little courage. So, courage, Jeff.
Sincerely,
Dan Rather (Just kidding.)
Dana,
Not THAT kind of rumor.
Take my wife’s head… please!
Tell you what Jeff. For $5000, I’ll tell you the secret to making $5000 in a single day as a blogger.
Jeff,
You are on my blogroll and with my traffic you should warn your server!
Jeff,
Just another clue that you’re not actually “conservative” and certainly not right-wing. The fact that our putative “left” these days is just a collection of miserable reactionaries may account for the widespread confusion, of which you are not the only victim.
Hitch your star to the Instadork and don’t worry about the zero list. Your yourself know more than anyone that confusing consensus with truth is the last refuge of the pomo-nihilist-nitwit.
Oh, and brevity is still the soul of wit, just sayin’…
AL GORE’S SPEECH IN SAUDI ARABIA
FUNDED BY
OSAMA BIN LADEN’S FAMILY
IN OSAMA BIN LADEN’S HOMETOWN.
Feb. 13, 2006
Jeddah Saudi Arabia – The Jeddah Economic Forum, the Saudi Arabia seminar that was addressed by former Vice President Al Gore over the weekend in a speech that criticized the U.S. for abusing Arabs. The forum was funded and sponsored by Osama Bin Laden’s family. Jeddah is also Osama Bin Laden’s hometown.
On Saturday, the state-run Saudi news outlet Arab News reported that the Jeddah Economic Forum, where Gore spoke, was funded by the Saudi Bin Laden Group, Gulf One Investment Bank, Saudi Basic Industries Corp.” and other companies with ties to Bin Laden Group in the Middle East.
The Saudi Bin Laden Group – which is Saudi Arabia’s largest construction company – is run by Osama Bin Laden’s father, brothers and cousins. The Jeddah, economic forum was held and attended by Gore,
AL GORE SLAMS THE UNITED STATES
GORE’S CLAIMS OF ABUSE – WITHOUT PROOF
The Former Vice President Al Gore told a Saudi audience on Sunday that the U.S. government committed “terrible abuses” against Arabs after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, Gore said Arabs had been “indiscriminately rounded up” and held in “unforgivable” conditions. The former vice president office and his staff and offices have routinely failed to provide any proof of these claims, blocking any investigations by any independent third party.
NOTE:
Numerous news services contacted Al Gores office for further evidence of Gores claims. Gores office refused to talk to AP, and refused several other news services found that Gores office had no supporting proof of abuse.
AP/NewsMax
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2006/2/13/182926.shtml?s=icp
Thanks for all the kind words, everyone. And thanks, Paul. From your analysis, you sound like my target audience.
Target audience. Heh
I geddit.