Arby’s employee: “Hello, and welcome to Arby’s. May I take your –”
Feingold: “LIAR! You, your so-called ‘roast beef,’ all lies—AND LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT I AM NOT FOOLED BY A WORD OF YOUR MAGICAL TALKING OVEN MITT’S WILD CLAIMS OF ‘SUCCULENT’ MEAT ‘PILED HIGH’!
“Question: Why must you be such a lying liar who insists, while speaking into your little microphone, on LYING? And before you answer that—let me remind you that I demand you FIRST SWEAR AN OATH THAT YOU WILL NOT LIE ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LIE, OR ELSE YOU ARE, IPSO FACTO, THE VERY LIAR I’VE ALREADY CONCLUDED YOU TO BE! QED!”*
Somebody explain to me how senators can demand that officials answer their public questions pertaining to classified security information?
And just being Democrat isn’t an answer.
Aren’t there laws?
Alberto Gonzalez: “Senator Finegold, you don’t have to worry because in your mind everything I say is a lie anyway. So – listen to me very carefully: I am LYING to you right NOW!”
Finegold: “Finally you tell the TRUTH for once! But wait – that’s not possible, because everything you say is a lie! You said you are lying, but if you are lying then that means you told the truth, and…and…that’s not possible because everythingyousayisalie, and —” (head explodes)
Specter: “Senator Kennedy?”
I think Feingold may have finally made a useful observation. Unless he’s lying, of course. Just a sec …
…
Ok, just back from Arby’s. Senator? That magical talking oven mitt is just an oven mitt painted on a drive-through speaker. I’ll admit it’s nicely done, but there’s nothing magical about it.
As for the “wild claims of ‘succulent’ meat ‘piled high’”, Arby’s indicated they would be willing to pile their ‘succulent’ (also referred to as ‘tasty’ and ‘juicy’
meat as high as you wished, but felt that you had piled it pretty high already.
8Gun, when I was a little boy, my granddaddy told me a story. He pointed to my Weimauraner, baron, who was lying in the clear high-altitude sunshire, warm and relaxed, and licking his own penis and testicles vigorously—enough so that he was partially erect, something I’d never seen before.
“Charlie, you see how baron is licking himself?”
“Yes, Granddaddy.”
“Can you do that?”
“No, Granddaddy.”
“Do you know why Baron does that? Licks himself, lying om the warm sun?”
“No, Grandaddy.”
“Because he can.”
Words to live by.
Anyone driving into Arby’s ought to know the “roast beef” is hypothetical.
Anyone driving into Arby’s better hope they’ve got good insurance.
I’ve always heard that it was because he couldn’t make a fist.
Good story, though.
OT, but essential:McCain Snark Alert
Because our government is well-populated by walking, talking, puckered assholes in suits.
That’s why.
“Gee, Granddaddy, I wish I could do that.”
“Charlie, that dog would bite youuu …”
So basically what we’re concluding is that Democrat senators are functionally equivalent to dogs who lick their balls.
No wait, dogs merely can, meaning that ostensibly sentient democrat senators are somewhat beneath them…
…so national democrat senators must resemble shit-eating dogs!
tw: Anyone can figure it out.
My dog licks his balls, but I guarantee the lovely people of the State of Massachusetts would be better served by him in the U.S. Senate than what they now have.
And yeah, he is a card carrying right-wingnut. Wanna make something out of it? His bite radius resembles a great white shark.
Something’s being piled high, but it ain’t at Arby’s.
Valuable lesson there:
If it takes you several minutes to realize that it’s extremely unlikely to be the intention of a classic punchline that you mentally picture a dog rolling on the floor fisting himself, maybe it’s time to put down the internet and go for a walk.
(Whistles away.)
I think I am beginning to understand why McCain is called a “Maverick”. One minute I hate him, and the next – I love him. Is this because he is a sociopath like me?
Lost Dog,
You have to be scientific about this. Poll all the voices in your head and find out if the majority love or hate McCain. I just did the poll and 7 of the 9 voices still hate McCain. And I have to go with the 7, because 5 of them are the ones that get me chicks.
Powerline’s Paul Mirengoff ripped Dick Durbin and Ted Kennedy a new one at that hearing today! Go here to read what happened.
I saw it live on c-span, they carried the interchange unedited. It was a classic moment where it was made obvious that they ( Democrats) are not much interested in applying there legislative powers to correct points of law, but rather they clearly indicated that doing their constitutionally appointed jobs would only get in the way of their important life mission- getting Bush.
What’s not in the story, but remains fact, is that as Durbin walked away the camera remained on him and you could clearly see him mouthing the word “ Pajama “ over and over as if he had just been hypnotized by the blinding truth found in reason.
Do I need to explain to everyone the alternative meaning of “roast beef” ?
I dunno about alternative meanings, but I do know that one time, at Arby’s, I got an onion ring that contained a bit of actual onion.
I mean, aren’t there laws?
I call foul. Paul left more spare brain cells behind in his sock drawer, than Kennedy and Durbin combined brought to the discussion. Where is fairness? Where is the level playing field?
Is there some sort of alternative universe somewhere where this Russ Feingold/Arby’s business is actually funny? Because here on Earth, it’s just excruciatingly lame.
Who are you kidding, Bob. The last time you were “on earth” you had your pants around your ankles and your dick crammed in a gopher hole. Which, ironically, called that experience “excruciatingly lame”—though I suspect you thought you were pleasuring the thing quite brilliantly.
A tip for you: Don’t like the material here? Fine, allow me to return your entrance fee. But why set yourself up to look like a gopher hole fucker by commenting?
Its for the ants, Jeff.
Ants.