me: “Why do you insist on coming untied all the time?”
shoe: “Why should I knot?”
me: “Well, is there something wrong with the way I walk, some oddity in my gait, that’s causing you—and not my right shoe—to come untied so frequently?”
me: “Is there knot?”
me:
me:
me: “WHAT IS SO GODDAMNED FUNNY?”
me: “STUPID SHOE!”
Loafers are a lot less uppity.
Bad Wesley Snipes movies: Responsible for all the evil in the world? or simply the inevitable result of empowering the Chimpler/Bushite war machine?
Discuss.
SB: required
20 points
Um… there’s one to many “me:”s in there, I think.
I think.
You can never tell around here.
No, there’s knot.
This was a lot lace funny than you think, a real insole to my intelligence. Well, eyelet you off this time.
At least the little bitch didn’t try to throw a double negative on yo’ ass.
Humor has great heeling power.
“We have a really big shoe tonight. Senor Wences, Joey Heatherton, and the comedy stylings of Wayne and Shuster.”
Jeff, are you surprised that it was your left shoe?
Is it sticking its tongue out at you?
No?
I’m sorry for that…really. Really, really sorry.
Did you hear about that new lesbian shoe they came out with?
It comes standard with an extra long tongue and you can get it off with one finger.
Yeah? Well, try walking a mile in… it’s on the other foot now and….these boots are made for…..
Naw, forget it. I got nothing.
Just a lost sole…..
I wear Romeo’s, no shit that’s what they callem! Don’t know why, they’re not that attractive. I can guarantee you’ll get noticed if you don the Dons! …..maybe that’s not a good idea.
Where’s the sheik? That infidel shoe wouldn’t last a minute without losing some part to a sharp sword. Perchance a tongue would it knot?
TW: there’s little chance that persuasion and compassion would slowly convert its’ blasphemous behaviour. Prick deserves to die!
Now, if you walk into a room with a boombox wearing Romeos and got some “Banjo Boy” from “Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband”, bangin’ it out and then follow it up with some “Hot Apple Pie” by the “Hillbillies”, you sir, will have’em all right in the palm of your hand. I’ve done this and lets just say, there’s definitely gonna be a virgin shortage! Well okay the last part was a bald faced lie, but you’ll like the bands and maybe the shoes!
– Those laces can be real little s’knots, but whadayah expect when you’re tied up with no leather….
– “SHOEIST!”
TW: “The new jet pack running shoes let him tie the record of one hundred knots an hour”….
good one, BBH
That’d be a tennis moment for sure.
Seek so lace in Taming of the shoe , available now in a leather bound virgin er, version! (how do you write the sound of a whip crackin’?)
Jeff, it’s only stringing you along…
a frayed knot, um afraid not
I don’t get it. I feel left out and that’s just knot right.
Make sure you’re not tying a granny knot. Tie your shoes, then pull the tag ends out undoing the bows. You should be left with a square knot. If you’re left with a granny knot, you’ve been tying your shoes wrong all this time. Reverse the starter knot to correct.
If your kids shoes are coming untied all the time, make sure you retie the starter knot when you bend over to retie them.
molon labe:
is that laybees? eew! whats it-ah never mind.
I’m sitting here trying to heal a knee and now because of you, I think I broke a brain vein-NURSE! Dirty Hairy! Where the hell are you! I said Chivas not shives, damnit! No man that’s Cacique! Ya, I know it starts with C, hey put that down! Did you wash your hands?
LACIST!
HA!
Do what I did…threated to send any misbehaving shoes to Richard Reid. All of them behaved after that–none of them wanted to be blown up.
– This has all the footprints of another roaming gnome tieup. Rumor has it hes treading in the Asian market. Last week he was seen in Souel.
TW: ATF living on the edge in lace and leather with Janet “Rave girl” Reno….
An alternative shoe-tying knot: when you get to the point of wrapping the one lace around the loop you’ve made with the other, wrap it around twice instead of once, then continue as normal, pulling the second loop through the hole you’ve created. It holds like a double-knot, but can still be loosened by just pulling on the ends.
Clear as mud… but it works.
TW: I never passed knot-tying in Girl Scouts, but I did collaborate with my mom on a giant ceiling-hung macrame wine rack.
This post made me sniglet.
Jamie McArdle:
You two must have one helluva strong ceiling to be able to support Isanetor Kennedy. Man what a sight that musta been. I can barely stand (He was quoted-daily-I mean at the daily) to see him standing on the floor, can’t even begin to imagine what all that, that eeew hangin’ upside down looked like. Kinda lure y’all use ta get’im in the Olds?
Lacist!!! Good one Andy
Y’all are seriously deranged!