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Three Things:  an experiment in contextual narrative

1.  a naked “escort”, whose exuberance for Special K left her in a deep dark place from which neither a series of cold compresses nor two shots of adrenaline were able to successfully retrieve her.

2.  a “virtual” hotel registration card, containing a license plate number and name (both real and both duly registered with the Colorado MVA).

3.  a dead hotel night clerk named “Edward” who was strangled with his own Joseph Abboud tie by someone who is having trouble negotiating the Motel 6 computer system.  For instance, what the fuck does “use F8 for additional access” mean?  I don’t need “additional access.” Just your basic, standard access.

Anyone?

20 Replies to “Three Things:  an experiment in contextual narrative”

  1. Gahrie says:

    I don’t know dude. Have you tried calling Winston Wolfe?

    family As in, “Wolfie works for the family, man.”

  2. Paul says:

    But where did you get the two shots of adrenaline?  One – sure, understandable, but two?  That’s raising the boy scout motto to a sphincter-puckering level of precision.

    But, then again, I tend to lead a quiet life and prefer my escorts not use when I’m around and I only kill hotel clerks for fun, not petty personal reasons.

    TW: I suppose many people carry around that much adrenaline.

  3. Thanks, half-pint.  You’ve just saved me a lot of investigative work.

  4. McGyver says:

    Throw Edward in bed with the hooker, use the speaker magnet from your sub-woofer to fuck up the computer memory.

  5. The Ghost of Strunk & White says:

    Working Title — Another Friday Night…

    “My wife never suspected why I was late to the delivery room…”

  6. MarkD says:

    In which chapter does the Armadillo make his entrance, and is there a link to Amazon?  I’d buy this one.

  7. An excerpt from the fever swamps of extreme right wing paranoia….

    “Bill! Hi, Ted here. Listen, I need a small favor. What’s the name of that cleaning agency that you use to clean up those hard to remove problems? Got it, thanks. Yeah I’m a half hour late to the NSA hearings, but they’ll wait. No the reporters know better than to ask. Ha ha, yeah heard that bro. Later.”

    An excerpt from the fever swamps of extreme left wing paranoia….

    “Dick! Hi, W here. Listen, I need a small favor. What’s the name of that cleaning agency that you use to clean up those hard to remove problems? Got it, thanks. Yeah I’m a half hour late to the NSA hearings, but they’ll wait. No the reporters know better than to ask. Ha ha, yeah heard that bro. Later.”

  8. Pablo says:

    Think Zihuatanejo. If it’s good enough for Tim Robbins…

    tw: sun. Man, that thing is good!

  9. ss says:

    The postmodern, alternative-rock pop star with the acoustic guitar did it.

  10. Scott P says:

    I’m not sure what to make of that, Jeff, except I had this thought- if my lifelong dream of making it on to Skating with the Stars ever came true, it might be fun to try to skate to a dance loop of Leonard Nimoy reading it.

    I hope this was helpful.

  11. rls says:

    I wondered what the ‘dillo was up to.  You need not change the names to “protect the innocent”, we all know that land lobster is guilty as hell.

  12. McGehee says:

    Motel 6? Well, that’s the cause of your trouble right there.

    They’ll kleave the light on for you, but anything else is pretty much toast.

  13. McGehee says:

    They may even leave the light on for you. Changes nothing.

  14. Lew Clark says:

    There are certain things that God, in His infinite wisdom, has not revealed to us.  I think this is three (or more) examples of that.  I don’t think we need to be going there.

  15. The fact that, according to the archives search, Jeff has never used the word “otiose” on this blog, doubtless has nothing to do with anything.

    Turing = points, as in What? I’m supposed to make some, here?

  16. Beck says:

    Synthesis: take the escort with you, and enjoy HOV lane privileges for as long as the body remains relatively undecomposed.

  17. harrison says:

    How does a night desk clerk for Motel 6 afford a Joseph Abboud tie?

  18. McGehee says:

    How does a night desk clerk for Motel 6 afford a Joseph Abboud tie?

    Moonlights as a gigolo?

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