Me: ”I’m sorry, how much?”
Serena, the real estate agent: “$350 thousand for this particular configuration. Which, do keep in mind that the tiling in the bathroom is included, as are both the dishwasher and the range.”
Me: “I see. So, say I let you keep the dishwasher. Can we maybe get it down into the neighborhood of, I dunno, $200 thousand?”
Serena, the real estate agent: “Well, that’s possible, sure. Although I’m afraid that neighborhood will have a skosh more Hispanics and Native Americans. And of course, lots of those cute little check cashing establishments with the industrial-grade shatterproof glass.”
Come over to my neighborhood, we can do the $200K, with just the hispanics, no check cashing loan shark store fronts.
My favorites are the lot premiums, especially when every lot has a premium. “Oh, you wanted that built on land? Well, our base price is for take-out, but I suppose I could see what the broker wants for the upgrade to land…”
Move down to the Springs. Hispanics optional. Sure, your wife has a 90-minute commute – but how is that YOUR problem? Plus, we could hang out.
As long as there’s no Irish you should take the deal.
RACIST!!!
So that’s how you spell skosh.
t/w: however, down here in New Mexico we’ve got a skosh more Hispanics and Native Americans than in that neighborhood.
What is this “skosh” of which you speak?
Is it anything like “a right smart”? Because I’m down with that usage.
In addition to “a right smart” to indicate a given quantity, “fixin’ to” is preferred to denote an action one contemplates undertaking at a future date.
TW “Value” – Probably none, I’m just saying, is all.
Dude, $350K is nothing. You can’t get anything decent around here for under $500K
There’s a more modern version: “fittin’ to”.
Tip jar over there on the left, Farmer Joe.
I’m also open to being named a beneficiary in any insurance scam.
We’ve managed to get that down to “fidnuh” in lab tests, but it’s not yet ready for release to the general public.
Hmmmm.
I would Jeff but I rent.
Really.
Ok so I rent hookers and movies. Still that’s quite an expense to rack up. And you know which you’d pick if there was a choice between hookers and blogging.
run, run, as fast as you can.
A person this dumb with a real estate licence must be avoided. If for no other reason, consider this:
Depending on state law, if she is really your agent you may be sued for her racist behavior while representing you.
That is unlikely. Want a better shot?
Sue her and her company for hurt feelings. A little research will locate an in-law, or someone with a connection to a minority in your extended family. Your lawyer discover that you love that person with all your heart and beyond all others.
If nothing else, the evidence of racism disturbed you so much you became impotent. Dollars will compensate.
Anyone else picture Samantha’s cousin from Bewitched in the part of “Serena” here?
No? Okay.
Anyone else picture Samantha’s cousin from Bewitched in the part of “Serena†here?
Here? No.
In the occasional late-night two-fisted onanistic fantasy? Sure.
Okayyyyyy….was just going for a Boomer Nostalgia moment here, but – more than I wanted to know.
I lived in Thornton for a wee bit. Prior to that I lived in PO box of a town in northern mich.
My ma had come out to visit me, and asked me on the way to the local TGIF’s
“Why don’t you get one of them nice houses, they are only four hundred a month!”
To which I replied, 400? WTF you talking about Willis?
To which my mother replied, “Yeah they say on the sign, Starting in the 400″s”
sigh…
Farmer Joe… you and I are in the same general area. My gal is looking to sell her condo and buy home. She’s in the 350k range. Other friends of mine are west of the city. A house, barn and an acre for 250k. Depends on how far you are from the city.
Live where its worth living. Pay what you have to. In five years it will all be better. Oh, and the crazy blog money is sure to happen soon…
Covenants.
Do they have any rules on armadillo’s and stuff like that?
If you’re really on a tight budget, you might check these out. Build your own modular home.
Coastal California homeowners fart in your general direction. We paid $350k for simple tract homes in the 1990s, and we learned to liked it.
I’ll second C Springs. You’d love Michells downtown, great little Bungalows, good prices for just a little work, near CC, and values are going up. And then we could make fun of Robert. Of course, that would only be when I am in town checking on the house or Amy is TDY there for something. But just imagine….
My wife works up in the Broomfield area. She likes the job.
So we’re locked into a certain radius.
Prepare yourselves for the forthcoming “protein wisdom refuses to watch his son grow up in a dangerous neighborhood in a tiny squalid rented house” fundraiser.
Coming to a blog near year at the end of March/early April.
Um.
I worked out of one of those in Afghanistan. We had to be very careful about where we left CONEXes, (what we call shipping containers) because the locals would take them and make homes out of them.
With 3,763,283 hits on this blog, if we tightwads had just kicked in a buck each time we visited, you could buy something really nice.
but lew, then some of us would be broke. ;D
-Pay as you post, or PAYP for short…. Whoa…you have any idea what a potential bucket of worms THAT opens up? …. I need an aspirin…
You guys forgot “commencin’.”
And Jeff, you should try living in the Santa Clara (Silicon) Valley. We moved here from Sacramento. Talk about sticker shock. And we bought at the exact peak of the dot-com boom. Six months later, the bottom fell out. I was petrified that we’d be upside-down on this house. Luckily, real estate is a perennial. After five years, we have almost 400K in equity. Get yourself a real agent and find the house you need. Then, take a deep breath and sign the goddamn contract.
As someone who has bought and sold 5 homes in 5 states, here is my advice: buy whatever you can afford on the best street you can afford. The smallest house on the best street is a better choice than the biggest house on an average street.
Or find like 5 families willing to buy a house with you. Kind of like a time share, but without the time element.
Second the comment about Silicon Valley real estate. Tract homes on ex-prune orchards trading like downtown Tokyo….
Then again, we were getting pushed out of our rental house, bit the bullet, and bought….and after nine years have a nice bit of equity in a neighborhood where we couldn’t afford to buy today.
In fact, sadly, we couldn’t afford to rent today in Silicon Valley. We’d have nasty commutes if we were still going to work here. In retrospect, that desperation move in ‘97 looks like the best thing we’ve ever done for ourselves.
Sticker shock is today. How will it look ten years from now?
Geeeza Loooeeza! Have I been gone that long, that I can afford to build houses again in America-and don’t get me started with all the “Permit” insanity! I came here to Japan to build due to the quality help/materials and thereby an end product you can be proud of, plus they actually appreciate a job well done.
I realize the following question might seem odd but how much time do you have? I might be able to help, depending on your needs/wants. It’s the least I can do for you and yours, for being an important part of my remaining sanity (sleftuvit!- should be up there with “fittin to” and “commencin”) by spending the time that do, in your daily contributions.
Well at least, now you know why they call it Firestone!
I don’t think there’s anything I could live in in LA that goes for less than $800,000.
– $800,000 in LA…. and you call yourself high maintainance… pfffttt
– Sticker shock is natures way of telling you, with any patience at all, you’re about to have a better wardrobe, and buy your Klonopin at Neiman Marcus instead of WalMart…..
Pity that Broomfield and Laughalot (Lafayette) are so damn expensive, also. If Longmont doesn’t work, you might want to try Berthoud, which isn’t too far from 287, so it should be a hop, skip and jump for the missus to get to work.
TW: road (go figure)
Don’t sell the Hispanics short. As a San Antonio native, I can tell you that you won’t find a decent chimichanga unless the local Hispanic population reaches a certain critical mass.
I’ve been living in Whitebreadburg for a year now and I’m about to lose my friggin’ mind if I don’t get me some quality refritos.
Hmmm.
As a resident of the New Jersey Shore I laugh at all of you.
*laugh*
Except you people in California. Amazingly enough you’ve got it worse than I do.
Up here in God’s Country (Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania) you can buy a huge, 100 year old Victorian for less than $200,000. Mine, a 100 year old Vic, but not huge, was less than $100,000. Sorry, no check cashing services with industrial-grade shatterproof glass in town.
Vladimir:
We bought our house about 5 years ago, and paid something like $260K for it. We’ve been told by real estate types that we could probably get $400K for it now. Trouble is, we couldn’t get anything better with that $400K. How far outside of the city are your friends with the barn?
Dudes (and dudettes), I’ve got you all beat. I live in the “hood” portion of a ski town with lots of Mexicans, and suprisingly, a bunch of Austrailians. My 20 year old, 540 sq ft condo costs 300 and change. I keep telling myself “It’s the quality of life, not the quantity.” Helps me get to bed at night.
I must say Jeff, that your excuse for a fundraiser sure as hell beat’s Sullivan and his “bandwidth” line.
Jeff,
I just bought in Firestone (St. Vrain Ranch).
I’m under contract for $276K for 2,650 square feet and an 8,000 square foot lot.
I’ve looked all over Longmont/Berthoud/Loveland/ Firestone, so if you have questions, feel free to email.
Or, y’all could move into a 2,000 square foot house, on real land for around $130,000 in a nice neighborhood, good, honest people, environmentally friendly in many parts of South Carolina. Teaching jobs start around $30,000 for 190 days for working. Not bad. You just have to give up the illusion of rubbing shoulders with those “LA hollywood heathens”, and live The Truth.
Or maybe just try getting one of them ‘job’ thingies.
Farmer Joe… My friends, they are in Ayer, out off of Rte. 2 past 495. It’s not the liveliest town, but hey, I rent in Dorchester.
You’re familiar with DOT, aren’t you?
I bought my huge, 100 year old Victorian (4800 sq ft plus coach house) in Milwaukee 9 years ago for $90,000 (half of what I’d gotten for my place in Chicago, half the size, ready for rehab once they pumped out the crawlspace). We don’t need the space any more, and I understand the market is around tuna quarter now. Yes, the places where I get my Italian beef and my fra shicken have plexi windows across the counter, but I wouldn’t call the neighborhood bad
Chief RZ—Or Southwest Virginia, where my nice little 2000 sq. ft. and 14 acres in the country, 10 minutes from Virginia’s largest university, comes in at about $125,000. But I’m not sure we want to spread the good news around. Maybe to Jeff. I’ve seen him use “y’all” a couple of times. And he even spells it right.
Or you can come up to Northern VA, where the average townhouse is 500K and single families are 50% more.
And the traffic makes it EVEN MORE alluring.
Yeah, the Springs is an option, but if you come a “little” further SE I could offer you a nice 2000 SF adobe bungalow with a large lot (about 3500 acres) for only 800K. But you are right–the commute would be a bitch.
And free lawn ornaments (abandoned stolen grocery carts)!
The only placed to live is Texas.
Great housing prices, great schools, REALLY cheap household help..
Oh, and all the guns you want to conceal.
And last but not least..Republicans rule!
I ‘spose this isn’t the best time to mention that my 95-yr-old 4-square has a magnificent oak switchback stair with built-in bench rising from the entry, oak pillers separating the front and center parlors and foyer, a fabulous 7-foot-wide 5-panel pocket door between center parlor and dining room, leaded glass, upstairs is all yellow pine with fabulous original windows, none of the woodwork has ever seen paint. All for $79,500 in ‘98…
cathy
Vlad –
Oh yeah, I know the DOT. I’m in Hyde Park, m’self.
Ayer is way too far out for me.
…the occasional late-night two-fisted onanistic fantasy…
Two-fisted?
Braggart.
RWS, Colorado has mediocre housing prices in the urban centers, mediocre schools everywhere … but we got shall issue too.
All I’m gonna say is that I know a great realtor in Broomfield. Not only is she nice, but her husband is a close friend of mine, and I’ve seen the kind of house she can find for people. She’s, shall we say, a very strong woman who represents her clients extremely well.
If you want a name, just let me know. Then buy me some Guinness at the next blogger bash.
Always interested, Z-boy.
Is she just Broomfield, or does she do Westminster, Thornton, Erie, and environs, as well?
And, of course, the poor nd lower middle class need to be denied any access to cash unless they can qualify under the same risk levels as you or I, wink, wink.
But he’s got hands like Herve’ Villechaize.
I don’t know about Erie, but I’m pretty sure she has a great knowledge of the rest. I’ll send you her email address and phone number tomorrow.
As someone who does Real Estate for a living, the best advice so far was from MayBee. One of the cardinal rules of RE is to buy the least expensive house on the best street. Learn it, love it, live it.
Well, the good news is that prices have stabilized so the home won’t be $450K this time next year. Unfortunately, prices probably won’t come down significantly any time soon. Personally, we are looking at buying preforeclosures from people who can no longer afford their adjustable rate mortgages.
-Randy
http://www.4mysales.com