What? It’s not like any of you fuckers cared enough to send cupcakes.
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
The liberal (some might say libertine but that might offend the soul of the divine Marquis de Sade may Allah’s peace be eternally upon him) use of such high-octane vulgarity and a complacent addiction to oily humor, at a time when our President has decreed that conservationism was to be the new law of the land, well that’s unabashedly unpatriotic my dear Mr. Goldstein!
Happy birthday anyway
I would send cupcakes, but the only kind I make are chocolate-based.
And nothing made with chocolate, particularly not my patented Genocide-By-Chocolate(tm) recipe, passes out my door without being guarded by ten attack trolls and a fully-equipped SEAL team, not to mention the judicious use of crowd-control tactical thermonuclear devices in order to clear the path of possible baked-goods thieves. Or innocent bystanders who could, in any given alternate universe, metamorphose into a baked-goods thief.
Or maybe we just like blowing stuff up here at the Off Colfax Headquarters and All-Night Bakery. Except for a soufflé. There is nothing sadder in the modern existence than a flat soufflé.
I’ll buy you a beer at the next Blogger Bash instead.
Damn, Jeff, weren’t you listening to Gov. Kaine? The government should be bringing you–nay, all of us–some cupcakes any minute now.
There is a better way.
Celebrate with a protein shake. Hey, all chocolate was pre-empted and shipped to New Orleans last week. Valentines will be limited to flowers this year since Mayor Nagin hijacked all chocolate for himself.
Happy belated birthday and many more on time.
Wait.
Is it Mr. Goldstein’s birthday or Protein Wisdom’s birthday? And if it’s the blog’s birthday, what’s its favorite flavor cupcake? (what does armadillo taste like?)
I sent cash! Well it really wasn’t cash, it was stock in an Indian Casino, which is better than cash. Expect a call from my financial advisor (a mister Jack A. Abramoff) sometime today.
Happy Blogbirthday, Jeff. How old is PW now?
So here, I made you a cupcake, more or less.
I wouldn’t have sent cupcakes, but the dancing midgets would have been on the way.
A hearty Happy Birthday to your brainchild and congratulations on percivering another year.
You do good work. Please keep it up.
You’re getting pineapple upside down cake if I have anything to say about it. Which I don’t.
“Regis” sends his regards.
I e-mailed you a baker’s dozen, you ingrate.
And I know you got them, too, because I have the read receipt.
Sorry, shesh. I’ve been busy. Besides, wouldn’t you prefer pie?
Miss Elizabeth’s
nipples are substituting
for birthday cupcake.
Listen Jeff, if you don’t watch the fucking language, you’re not getting a damn thing, alrite?
I mean, shit.
tw: Working on escalation.
I should have clarified: It is JEFF’s birthday, not the blog’s.
Strangely, we’ve taken to talking about ourselves in the third person. And interchangeably. And look—ballooooooooooooons!
Happy Birthday, Jeff.
How many are you?
Cupcakes? You cynical bastard, don’t you know that CHIMPY IS DESTROYING THE WORLD one cupcake at a time?
BECAUSE OF THE COFFEE!
(Oh, ok. Happy B-day.)
SB: eyes
they follow you around the room. Eerie, ain’t it?
Hey! That’s just unfair! I sent you a dozen of the best “special” brownies, dammit. I even have the FedEx receipt right here, signed for by your guy (looks like ‘A. M. Adillo….’
What is he, your houseboy er sumthin’?
Fine.
Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday to You.
Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday to You.
( sung to the tune of Inna Gadda Da Vida.)
Happy birthdaaaay to JOOOOOOOOO…
Happy birthdaaaay tooo JOOOOOOOO…
Happy Birthday deeear Proteinwisdom-
Happy Birthday to JOOOOooooo.AH!
Dude, I could be the next Blogosphere Idol.
Jeff,
Happy birthday!
The cake is being fedexed to you even as we speak. I just hope the candles stay lit.
I came here for the Nano humor and fat Britney pics, I’ve stayed for the Motorcycle maintenance tips. Happy Birthday.
Ah, when you get to be my age, you’ll hope people forget your birthday.
Cuppacasz? OK honey, lemme turn ona blender and make you summa them cuppacaz… soon azat fuggin midgit ina whadjamacallit suit gesis az outa my frigerader.. . Or you cumaybe jus lick eyezing offa my cuppacaz (snort)…waddaya think? Habbee birfda.
I was hoping to send a cake with a surprise dancer bursting out of it. But, it seems armadillos hate hiding inside birthday cakes.
No cupcakes, but a couple kilos of my famous brownies are on the way.
Happy Birfday, Jeff!
Happy Birthday, Jeff! We’re lucky that we get all the presents!
Happy birthday Jeff.
I sent you a case of Pickled Herring!! Enjoy…
Sorry Jeff, I didn’t know. Congrat’s and Happy Birthday!
I don’t have any cupcakes, but I do have a chocolate mold of Cindy Sheehan’s poontang someone gave me for Xmas. Would you eat that?
Congrats, Jeff.
This is the only site on the net that gets a daily visit from me.
Happy Birthday Jeff. I hope Protein Wisdom enjoys Concrete Blonde…
Well, outside in the hall there’s a catfight
It’s well after midnight
I guess I’ll be allright
I’m laid out on the floor
Drunk and ppor
How much longer how much more
Rock me to sleep
Strong & deep.
The screaming cats they give me the creeps
But aside from all that I feel no pain
Staring up at the ceiling stains
…Neon in the window
…Sirens far away
…News on the radio happy birthday happy birthday happy
birthday
They’re at it again next door
This whole floor I swear
They’re out to drive me crazy
Not right now I’m high as a cloud I’m soft and gray and lazy
..Smoking Out the window,
…feeling far away
…News on the radio happy birthday happy birthday happy
birthday
Fly me
out the window.
Somewhere far away
News on the radio, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday.
Happy BlogBirthday, Jeff!
Happy Birthday, Jeff. Hope it was a good one.
Chuck Norris doesn’t send Happy Birthday wishes, he allows them to happen.
Jack Bauer wishes you a Happy Birthday, NOW!
Happy Birthday, JG.
Unfortunately, Oliver Willis intercepted the pastry shipment.
BECAUSE OF THE MAPLE FROSTING!!!
Happy birthday. Another milestone on the bleak road leading inevitably to death.
Have a cupcake!
I would have sent cupcakes, but as a Baptist I didn’t know if they were kosher.
So, instead I can send you some Fried Chicken and a few brainwashed “True Love Waits” baptist virgins.
The shipping is going to kill me though.
You posted about your birthday?
NARCISSIST!
Isn’t that why you put up with TAs, professor?
Happy Birthday, Jeff. Don’t spend it all in one place!
I’m confused. Is it the blog’s birthday, or is it Richard Goldstein’s birthday?
Happy birthday, Jeff!
Nice try, G-man – but hey, I forgot my own kid’s birthday.
Ok, so like I made up for it with a custom engraved black iPod Nano pre-loaded with all kinds of goofy songs he’ll probably erase, so get off it already.
And no, no Nano for you…
Don’t worry about it. For my birthday I got called a racist and a tedious, pretentious elitist writer who preys on the under-educated. That being you all.
Luckily, the forces of RINO righteousness jumped in to defend me. In spirit. Which is nice.
At any rate, please, NO MORE GIFTS! If I continue to swim in this kind of birthday love, I’m liable to prune up. Or get pregnant. And who needs that kind of pressure?
Well, Jeff, if you get knocked up, you’d better get an abortion while you can.
BECAUSE OF THE INEFFECTIVE CROSS EXAMINATION OF TED KENNEDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooh! I’m late to the party. Happy Birthday Jeff!!
So…is there an open bar?
Happy Birthday, Elitist!
I think there is a Gestapo pretender group involved.
Cindy should have asked to see Gestapo credentials.
If they were real Gestapo she wouldn’t have been out of jail complaining about it the next day.
He did the same thing last year. Ana’s decided that he deserves to be spanked … again.
OH! Hey, Jeff! Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, Jeff! Many happy returns – especially if you have the receipts.
happy birthday, jeff.
One from column A and one from Column B on the way. With egg rolls.
Happy birthday! In my time zone I’m only a few minutes late.
You are The Man! Don’t dignify the bitter carping of the envious . . .
So Jeff’s a serial narcissist!
I’m sure that’s worse, but I’m not quite exactly sure how.
For my birthday I got called a racist and a tedious, pretentious elitist writer who preys on the under-educated.
Um, so, does that mean we all have to divvy ourselves up and file on over to Kos, DU and Oliver’s place, so those racist, tedious, pretentious elitist (writer)s can prey on us?