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We realize it’s your wife’s birthday, but is there any way you can maybe find the time to coax&#8212

—Oh, he danced, alright.  Believe me.  Only today it was a private showing.

And be honest:  how many of you would actually dig seeing a nipple-pierced armadillo in a leather thong and matching wrist gauntlets nose his way out of a homemade tiramisu pie, shake the mascarpone cheese off his tail scales, and then—after a series of poorly executed Fred Berry-esque drop splits—lie down on a dessert plate, panting and sweating and chugging two or three of those little airplane-size bottles of Glenlivet before demanding an American Spirit?

And yes, that is a rhetorical question.

15 Replies to “We realize it’s your wife’s birthday, but is there any way you can maybe find the time to coax&#8212”

  1. bobonthebellbuoy says:

    Rhetorically speaking, No, but I’m sure the little bastard would dance nice for me.

    TW only because I have reached the end of my patience with the nonperforming iguana.

  2. CraigC says:

    I would, I would!!! Oh…….

  3. harrison says:

    Happy Birthday to your bride.

    Here’s hoping she gets everything she wants.

    TW: morning. Get back in the kitchen!

  4. Attila Girl says:

    Wish her a happy birthday for us.

    And post the video of the sexy armadillo dance. You did get video, right?

  5. Sean M. says:

    He never gets video.

  6. Russ says:

    Which, ultimately, might be for the best.

  7. Scott P says:

    You better lock the bedroom door tonight. 

    I’ll bet 4 to 1 he bangs on the door with a bottle of Asti Spumante and a quart of gelato, looking for a party, just as you’re getting ready to “finish dessert”, so to speak…

  8. Oscar Jr. says:

    This is completely off-topic, but I suspect that Jeff and some of his regular readers will find it worth reading this letter (pdf) from Pat Roberts to Arlen Specter and Pat Leahy on the NSA matter.

  9. MayBee says:

    how many of you would really dig seeing a nipple-pierced armadillo

    How many nipples are we dealing with here?

  10. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Yes.

  11. wayne says:

    Dude, my wifes birthday is also today, so I took the easy way out roses!!!!!

  12. And be honest:  how many of you would actually dig seeing a nipple-pierced armadillo in a leather thong and matching wrist gauntlets nose his way out of a homemade tiramisu pie, shake the mascarpone cheese off his tale scales, and then—after a series of poorly executed Fred Berry-esque drop splits—lie down on a dessert plate, panting and sweating and chugging two or three of those little airplane-size bottles of Glenlivet before demanding an American Spirit?

    Jeff, I think I can speak for all of us, when I say “all of us.”

  13. McGehee says:

    I don’t care what the box says, this is not True Grit.

  14. Wind Rider says:

    Ya know, not to be cuttin the muffin, or anything, but Jeff is starting to sound a lot about this fictional armadillo and its roller disco repetoire a lot like Ken Lay and Jeffery Skilling did about Enron’s profits.

    Now, while Jeff, PW, and the ‘dillo may not be able to make the lights go off all over California, just how many people actually woke up late in Pueblo last Tuesady, with their clock radio/CD Player/Alarm displays flashing 12:00?

    I rest my case.

Comments are closed.