Me: “You know, it so bothered me when critics lampooned you for that scene in Poseidon Adventure where you swim through an underwater maze to help rescue the other survivors. But—well, to be honest with you, for me –”
Shelley Winters’ Ghost: “I know, I know. You found it kinda sexy—in the same way an old Schooner hand feels a stir in the crotch of his flairlegs whenever he spies an unsuspecting manatee sunning itself on a rock.
“Don’t be embarrassed, though. Believe it or not, Hackman told me the same exact thing after we shot the scene. Bless his heart.”
“Then, of course, I took him back to my trailer and we gave the suspension a good, hard workout!”
SB: nature
uh-huh
Gosh, just think how big a star Shelly Winters would be were she alive today…loud, irritating, over-weight…she’d have a talk show on every freaking network.
The grounds upon which Linnaeus would fain have banished the whales from the waters, he states as follows: “On account of their warm bilocular heart, their lungs, their movable eyelids, their hollow ears, penem intrantem feminam mammis lactantem,” and finally, “ex lege naturae jure meritoque.” I submitted all this to my friends Simeon Macey and Charley Coffin, of Nantucket, both messmates of mine in a certain voyage, and they united in the opinion that the reasons set forth were altogether insufficient. Charley profanely hinted they were humbug.
Hackman: Oh, oh! oh, oh! thou grinning whale, but there’ll be plenty of gulping soon!
Yeah, but she was alive a few days back and nary a talkshow emcee’d by her in sight.
Damn.
Instead, we have to put up with that insipid cow, Star Jones.
Can armadillos swim underwater?
Will you be talking to Wilson Pickett any time soon?
As Crow T. Robot said, “Hackman, he’s good in anything.”
Maybe TGoSW could confirm?
Heh.
“We here at Phillips 66 value the environment. Over here, workers polish clouds…”
– Crow mocking the open scene of “Marooned”, starring (yes, you guessed it) Gene Hackman…
tw: size Yeah, that’s one damned big Saturn V alright.
Oops, I meant Tom. Doomph, dammit, etc.
Now, is there another blog where you can get dancing cross-dressing armadillos and apposite quotations from Moby-Dick?
Yeh yeh…. Well for me Winters had all the sexual attraction of one of those Grotten brothers honey trucks, when its loaded to bursting with the effluence of McDonalds best, after a hot Saturday night in Charlotte, with two visiting football teams at the motel next door. But I have to admit she must have tossed salads great in her younger years. The wheezing didn’t start until her ass had taken on the width of a New york harbor ferry….
– Oh and Jeff, you might want to look more closely…. Knowing Winters panchet for fussyness and her unparalleled demanding nature, that might be a bag-lady stunt double sent over from central casting… You know ‘ole Popeye, and his bent for pranks….
TW: Acadamy award for best supporting actress in “Attack of the dead mole people” ….
Somewhere, Shelley Winters is laughing her very large behind off.
Jeff, this post, you may not realize, will actually helped the readiness of one part of the US Army. You see, I have been hovering around 221-223 lbs, and I really want to be at 215lbs (heck, I came back from Afghanistan at 228). Now, all I have to do is summon that image of Madame Winters into my mind, and presto! No more appetite… One US Army field grade officer in the best of all possible weight classes in no time. I salute you, sir!