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“The unicorn is in custody” [Darleen Click]

Best line ever heard on police band …

When a caller reported a “unicorn-like” animal galloping down an open Central Valley road, the California Highway Patrol suspected someone was high on hallucinogenic drugs.

But then officers met Juliet — a snow-white, 600-pound Shetland pony with a prosthetic horn and a fuzzy pink bridle.

The wannabe unicorn twice bolted from a photo shoot in Madera Ranchos on Wednesday, leading CHP officers on a lengthy, if not enchanted, pursuit. […]

Juliet’s owner, Fresno photographer Sandra Boos, managed to corral the 20-year-old pony in relatively short order. However, the CHP grew concerned when they received another call at 5:30 p.m.: Juliet was loose again and headed toward Avenue 12, a busy traffic corridor between State Route 99 and State Route 41.

This time, “it was a little more difficult to capture the pony-slash-unicorn,” McConnell said.

It took officers three and half hours to round up the pony, using a helicopter with thermal imaging to track down Juliet in an orchard. Then, they needed to use one of the pony’s friends, a horse, to help bring her out of hiding.

The horse whinnied to Juliet, who whinnied back and then ran to her friend, Boos said.

“The unicorn is in custody,” Boos heard on the police radio. As soon as she heard that, she called to tell her 5-and-a-half-year-old daughter, who rides Juliet. Her daughter, Tatum, had been frantic when Juliet ran away, she said. […]

In the past, there have been cases of chickens, sheep, cows, horses and even an ostrich in the roadway.

“First call I’ve ever heard of a unicorn,” McConnell said.

12 Replies to ““The unicorn is in custody” [Darleen Click]”

  1. McGehee says:

    I’m waiting for someone to meta-spoof “Barack the Magic (other n-word)“* with “Trump the Magic Unicorn.”

    *Which phrase apparently only the filk song’s composer and its promoter on the radio (and me, I suppose) seem to remember was coined by Al Sharpton.

  2. palaeomerus says:

    I think magic negro got linked to Obama enough for Paul Shanklin to riff on Puff the Magic dragon ( Peter, Paul, & Mary’s subversive novelty folk hit for kidz about tokin’ dope) due to widespread discussion of David Ehrehstein’s LA Times article on Obama’s appeal being like that of a magical negro character in schlocky popular fiction.

    http://www.latimes.com/la-oe-ehrenstein19mar19-story.html

    Before that it was commonly used to kick TV shows, and Steven King’s novels as vehicles of benevolently racist attitudes.

    http://www.strangehorizons.com/2004/20041025/kinga.shtml

  3. palaeomerus says:

    Trump the Magic Genie made lots of great deals.
    He lived in a Tower but could not park all his wheels
    So he asked the city to make a lady make him a deal.
    The court said no which made him sad
    And Genies have big feels

  4. McGehee says:

    Yes, Sharpton coined it about Obama, not long after Biden called his future boss “clean and articulate.”

  5. guinspen says:

    **** Ted Johnson, Variety

    Just blocks from the Dolby Theatre on Sunday, the Rev. Al Sharpton led about 70 demonstrators in a rally and march circle to protest the lack of diversity among this year’s Oscar nominees.

    “You are out of time,” Sharpton said, addressing the Academy. “…This will be the last night of an all-white Oscars,” ****

    …he bullhorned.

  6. LBascom says:

    They should just start out every Oscars show by handing a trophy to every black person that shows up, then proceed to the individual awards. Which are carefully chosen to represent the racial makeup of the actors that have worked that year. Then they should finish by giving all the black actors another Oscar, along with making up for any shorting of women, LGBT, and Muslims with a cerimonial catigory distributing trophies at random to the appropriate recipients in a mathematical diverse final tally.

    It’s the only way to be fair…

  7. Damn fine suggestion, Lee.

  8. palaeomerus says:

    I want to develop and sell a chocolate oscar statue and you can print out a label to put on the base to award it to whoever you want. Think easter bunnies and chocolate “gold coins”. 85% of them will be white chocolate and only 15 % milk chocolate.

    Shit they’re gonna put me in a camp and kill me anyway so I might as well be guilty of something.

  9. Oh, come on, Palaeo!

    It should be a mixture of 85% white chocolate, 13% dark chocolate, and 2% milk chocolate.

  10. palaeomerus says:

    Don’t forget the vintage high fiber free ranged organic gluten free tandori chipotle alfalfa grass igneous Okinawan/Caribbean fusion dr-grained chocolate w/ mocha essence added for the Hipsters.

  11. Damn…that could apply to ‘Obama’ as well as the Milk Chocolate category. Damn you all to Hell, Palaeo!

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