Dragged to a hip hop club by a few of my gal pals, I overreached on what turned out to be a bit of dated slang and called one of the women grinding up against me “phat.” Which, it turns out, is not a compliment—particularly when said sister is four biscuits shy of a Hyundai, and when the typical urban bass riff is simply too overpowering to allow for any kind of civil and potentially informative dialogue on the tricky nature of the homophone.
On the plus side, I’m told that a penknife wound to the upper arm is seldom very serious.
heyah, what club in lo-do would even let you in, whigga?
Give Jeff some slack, pg. He assumed it was a hip hop club because they weren’t playing anything he had on 8 track or a 33 1/3 vinyl album.
What, no kick to the biscuits?
Speaking of penknifes, I hope Joel Stein snitched some body armour if he plans to head south, south of LA
Y’alls is scriplz!
(In fifteen years, you’ll pretend you laughed at that now.)
Does that mean she nearly weighs a ton, or that she’d have to eat those biscuits to rate “subcompact”?
This hep slang left me behind long ago.
On the plus side, I’m told that a penknife wound to the upper arm is seldom very serious.
Well, yeah, unless it’s dipped in curare.
Hmmm.
Are zoot suits back in fashion yet? Between the slang and the dance moves it’s starting to look a lot like 1930.
BTW Anybody remember when John Wayne jitterbugged?
Hmmm.
Holy Shit! Zoot suits are fucking back!
Suavecito
ZootSuitStore
MensUSA
Zoot!
Goddamn. Everything old is new again. At this rate Barry Manilow will be the hip-hop king of 2015.
Which means that what I wear, which is what I wore 30 years ago is now cool. No, wait a minute, what I wore then was not cool then, so probably is not cool now either. Retro poor taste is still poor taste.
They need to stop making those because they use too much fabric.
Don’t you know there’s a war going on?
I think Zoot Suits have stumbled back onto the scene about four times now, each time followed by a prolonged death-rattle.
Then again, you never know. I’d rather see Victorian comeback, but that’d never fly in Southern California, at least not until the next ice age hits.
And no way that was a hiphop club–bgrrls don’t carry wuss “penknives”, we all have spydercos.
Or feminist bile. If any of those women can quote anything by Dworkin, Brownmiller or Dowd, get to the Free Clinic ASAP…
HOMOPHONEPHOBE!
It cuts both ways, Jeff. The Outkasts put out a famously bad single several years ago with a line that went something like, “You so Anne Frank/Let’s hit the attic [for a conjugal visit, presumably].” Try that one at a bah mitzvah.
I once had a girlfriend who would do that.
Good times. I wonder where she is now?