Poor poor dear ::::guffaw:::
I am writing to inform you of a terrible attack I suffered in one of your stores this week. The assault against me was so violent and oppressive that I had to immediately retreat to my healing space, where I lay whimpering on the floor for three and a half days, barely able to move or breathe. […]
I was walking from my car to the store, minding my own business, when suddenly another customer, a man, walked up and accosted me. I should pause here and apologize to the transgender, agender, nongender, pangender, bigender, trigender, and quasigender communities if they feel offended or victimized because I’m labeling this individual a man. To be honest, he never mentioned his gender identity, and I would be the last person to ever assume anything about anyone. But in this case I feel comfortable guessing that the entity in question was a man because, in my experience, only cisgender white Christian Republican middle class heterosexual men are ever guilty of doing anything wrong. Anyway, I don’t really believe in labels, except for the five or six labels I just used in the previous sentence.
So, back to the incident. The man came alongside me, out of nowhere and without invitation, and immediately started sharing opinions with me. They were bad opinions. Opinions I didn’t like. Opinions that were different and confusing and scary. Opinions that shouldn’t exist. Opinions that made me feel delegimitized and otherized and vaporized. Literally vaporized. The opinions were like a death ray that zapped me and reduced me to ash and rubble.
It gets better. Read the whole thing.
Bravo.
Somebody made a crooked doody cross in the rest room!
the horror
the horror
The media here in KC have been all over this story. I’ve been dumbstruck by the notion that
some racial incidents + hunger strike = President of the MU system must resign (or the Tigers will forfeit their game against BYU Saturday and have to pay $1M penalty, so we all know how that one’s going to go).
There just are no words to describe the depth of stupid at work here.
Can we just relabel colleges and universities to “Babysitter 2.0″s and call it a day? It’s painfully obvious that many, maybe most, alleged “students” are certainly not there to learn anything. Take, for example, the Yale dimwit screaming at the master, “[The university] is not about creating an intellectual space! It is not! Do you understand that?” Well clearly, sweetheart. Otherwise you wouldn’t be allowed her.
As a somewhat older student attending a university in MO, though thankfully not Mizzou, this whole thing is beyond infuriating. A couple months ago, I joked to another older student that we are categorized as “adult students” because the rest are still children. Now the morons are making self-parody a way of life.
Institutes of Higher Day Care sounds more professional.
nobody pays babysitters what these places ask for tuition.
Mizzou should have taken the forfeit, paid the penalty out of the (ex-) head coach’s salary, and then forteited all of next season so they could pull the scholarships of the football players.
Consider it stolen.
Damn, knew I should have run to the trademark office. Oh well.