me: “Did I ever tell you about the time my puppy, Scout, fell through some thin lake ice during a pickup hockey game? I must have been seven. Anyway, I dove in after the little guy—and rescue workers found me about a quarter mile down stream clinging to a branch under the ice, still breathing through the hollowed out end of my hockey stick. Scout lived, thank God, and everyone called me a hero.”
Klonopin: “Uh huh. Except that was last night. And you didn’t exactly save a puppy so much as you passed out naked and face down in a pitcher of frozen lime daiquiris. But keep taking the pills, bro. It gets better, I swear!”
Does Klonopin help hernias? Because I could use some help here. Truss me.
You should know that Xanax is the more masculine choice. It comes in <a href=”http://www.express-scripts.com/images/pillimages/00009009.401.JPG” target=”_blank”>two-milligram bars</a>. Little tiny sledgehammers that you can break into pieces like a benzo-Toblerone.
Of course, that’s a psychiatric dosage. Equivalent to something like 20mg of Klonopin.
For those times when your face is coming off and you’d really like to avoid yet another workplace shooting.
Hey! Quiet over there! We’re trying to sleep here!
TW: seen. You should be seen but not heard. Actually, go to bed. You shouldn’t be seen either.
I was just watching The Constant Gardener, and it occurred to me about halfway through that not once had I seen a trowel, or even any bulbs.
What the fuck is wrong with this country, anyway?
Oh yeah? When was the last time you saw anyone using Fluff on the Food Network? Those people in the talking picture box are all a bunch of goddamn commies.
tw: asked, and technically, you did.
So, Jeff,
You once had a puppy called Scout, huh?
What a coincidence! I used to have a Scout called Puppy.
He’s now working as a Cabaret Artiste under the stage name of Ute Lemper. How times change, huh? When I was growing up, you used to get confined to your bedroom without food or water for a week for dressing up as a dame – now they give you a dang badge for it!!
xxx
Roberta
Maybe Klonopin is the explanation for the presence of “Splash” in Ted Kennedy’s new children’s book.
Jeff,
The follow up is a bit of a trial too. Four hours is a heck of a long time to watch anyone stencilling a border – even Ranulph Fiennes!
xxx
Roberta
It seems like Klonopin was the name of the shit they gave me in the emergency room that time I went in cause my face was humming and I couldn’t figure out why. Turned out my BP was 221/198. So all of this time I’ve been thinking that Klonopin was a HBP med. And to be quite honest, if it was Klonopin they gave me, it didn’t affect me the way it’s affecting our man.
I did one time dream that I was blowin’ the Michelin Man and woke up with half my pillow down my throat. But it wasn’t the drugs……
“That’s not a pillow.”
Eeeeiiiiuuuuuwwwwww…
Say, how ‘bout them Bears?
tw: Comedy is a given around here
I could swear I read that story in one of William S. Burroughs’ books, Jeff. But instead of Klonopin, it was morphine. And instead of rescuing a puppy, he was ritualistically hanging some boy he’d just buggered. Otherwise, exactly the same thing.
My memory’s always a little fuzzy in the morning.