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My first brief conversation with the Ghost of Shelley Winters

Me: “Gosh.  I was really quite sorry to hear about your passing, Ms Winters. I was an enormous fan of your work –”*

Shelley Winters’ Ghost: “– Feh.  Had I known they’d be serving such delicious brisket and potatoes I’d have kicked off years ago.  I mean, kosher salt and rosemary!—can you believe it?  Who knew?”

21 Replies to “My first brief conversation with the Ghost of Shelley Winters”

  1. Attila Girl says:

    Have you slept at all? I most certainly haven’t, but it’s only 3:00 a.m. here.

  2. Attila Girl says:

    I will be going to bed, though.

    Anyone ever tell you your kid is amazingly cute? Hundreds of times? Oh, never mind.

  3. stiv says:

    Her work in the oft overlooked “Bloody Mama” was among her best.  Because of that alone I will certainly miss her.

  4. MayBee says:

    Poseidon Adventure put me off boats for years.

    I used to lay in bed and mentally draw up an escape route to get out of my house, if it ever turned upside down.

    Now I’m just afraid of getting fat.

  5. I loved her in Lolita. You had to feel sorry for her and loath her wretchedness all at the same time. She may be the most underated actor of the 20th century.

    I’d like to think of her kicked back with Marilyn right now, drinking Manhattans way too quickly, and laughing laughing laughing, you know, that way that only girlfriends can.

  6. richard mcenroe says:

    The only Shelley Winters story I know…

    Back during the series “Roseanne,” Shelley Winters was proposed for the role of Roseanne’s mother. The suits were cold on the idea, saying no one cared about Shelley Winters. Roseanne Barr being the shy and retiring woman she was, an audition was nevertheless arranged.

    Winters came in dressed like a bag lady, carrying a large sack. She plops down in front of the aghast suit’s desk, reaches into the sack… and starts pulling out Oscars. “This is the Oscar I won for… This is the Oscar I won for… This is the Oscar I won for…” Finally, she’s sitting there with four Academy Awards lined up on the reptile’s desk, and she leans forward and says, “And you think I have to audition for you?

  7. Scott P says:

    Great story, Richard.  Wow, 130 films, according to IMDB.

  8. sortapundit says:

    I always thought Shelley Winters was that chick out of Cheers.  That’s what I get for being a damned young’un.

  9. ahem says:

    Shelly Winters is one of the most brilliant actors we’ve ever had. In her best roles, Winters had pitch-perfect intuition. That was an actress. If you’re not familiar with her work, I suggest going back over it and watching everything you can from her work in the 50s and early 60s. She did a lot of noir and was incredible at playing neurotics.

  10. me says:

    I was an enormous…

    Braggart.

  11. Vercingetorix says:

    What ever you do, definitely do not clock here.

  12. Vercingetorix says:

    or click there…whatever

  13. Bilwick says:

    Brokeback Oasis.

  14. natesnake says:

    Shelly was a plucky little vixen.  One hell of a fine swimmer too if my memory serves correctly.

  15. rls says:

    What ever you do, definitely do not clock here.

    I didn’t.

  16. Robert says:

    Hey, wait a minute. Why would Shelley Winters’ ghost talk to a no-name like you?

  17. Vercingetorix says:

    Good thing too, rls. I wish I didn’t.

  18. cranky-d says:

    Good thing too, rls. I wish I didn’t.

    Me too.  Does anyone have a spork handy?  I need to gouge my eyes out.

  19. natesnake says:

    Shelly and I had a tryst back in ’77.  She molested me in a Denny’s parking lot after a Lawrence Welk taping.  A ravenous minx indeed.  She had a sturdy frame and panted like a Rottweiler.  Her breath was dense and moist.  Insatiable would best describe her persona.  I tried to resist the advances, but was compelled by the soft waddle of her neck.  I later bathed in a truck stop sink and hitched a Freightliner to Nashville.  She will be missed.

  20. You’re telling us the brisket is to die for?

  21. mojo says:

    “Winchester ‘73”

    Hasta la Vista, Baby.

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