I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night,
alive as you and me /
—but it turns out it was just an IWW raccoon in dirty Carhart overalls rummaging through one of my trashcans, trying to get at the leftover garlic chicken and eggroll bite I’d found buried in the back of the refrigerator and thrown out only yesterday. Lord only knows how long that shit was tucked back there.
Poor dirty collectivist. Probably sat in a tree all night with a horrific case of the raccoon runs.
I’ve never had the raccoon runs, but man, if they’re anything like the “throne hugging meemies” I realllllly feel for the little guy.
Note to self: Remember to trim back those raccoon bearing limbs over the deck.
Overalls v. Trashcans: the Pros and Cons of having opposible thumbs
I woke up one morning in Lewisville, NC, to a distempered raccoon running in circles on my deck and, on each lap, throwing himself against my back door. I called animal control, which said they’d pick him up if he was dead. So I ventured out with my Charter Arms .38 special. Took three shots to bring him down. Of course I might’ve missed with the first two.
Later that day, I purchased a sticker for the window: “These premises protected by Smith & Wesson.” Haven’t had any more problems. Word gets around, even in the forest.
Dude, sounds like your doc is due one ass whuppin, payable in full. Any bonehead worth his caduceus should absolutely warn his patients when the PDR clearly lists “vermin filled scatalogical visions” as a potential side effect!
Now then, time for ya to quit making lame excuses about the currency of the copies of National Review and Weekly Standard in his waiting room, and get right over there stick that quack’s stethoscope someplace he’ll really notice how cold that sumbitch is!
Conveniently, the sticker also covered the two bullet holes from the missed shots?
Yes. That was convenient…
Joan Baez took a lot of shit for speaking out against Communism during the “boat people” era. She has tremendous courage.
Sheesh, KM, get a silenced .22 like the rest of us.
Joan Baez is both a traitor and a phony. Put on some Ted Nugent instead next time.
Some of the Nuge to get out the Baez taste
My baby she like to rock
My baby she like to roll
My baby she can dance all night
My baby got no control
She do the Wango Tango
AC/DC, anyone? JUST KIDDING, Jeff.
Someone needs a nice plug of opium up his ass.
This is your second Carhart mention in about 4 days.
Do you think Carhart very cleverly paid Klonapin for product placement in hallucinations?
-Poor ole Joanie…. She was still practising “where have all the flowers gone…” in Crawford for her debute at Woodstock. Several moonies asked if this was the Sheehan camp or if there had been a car wreck somewhere nearby. The least she could do for her 3 fans is get a hearing aide with a built in metronome….
“I dreamed I saw St. Augustine,
Alive as you or me,
Tearing through these quarters
In the utmost misery,
With a blanket underneath his arm
And a coat of solid gold,
Searching for the very souls
Whom already have been sold.”
—Bob Dylan, “I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine”.
Bastardizing Dylan lyrics makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Ridiculing Joan Baez makes the Baby Jesus laugh.
The theological implications of this post make my head hurt.