me: “So, this feeling of being incredibly stoned—y’know, walking sideways, banging into furniture, feeling lightheaded and abnormally relaxed in the bowels—all this is to be expected, right?”
Klonopin: “You’re damn skippy, trippy. But rather than fight it, my advice to you is to pick yourself up a nice black light and a gross or two of glow sticks—then start trolling the local universities or coffee shops for hippie chicks willing to sit around topless talking philosophy and new-age mysticism. Because if those circumstances don’t conspire to end in a tender, multipartner collision of mutual, unbridled carnality, then you really don’t deserve me, brother.”
I recommend you download some Hawkwind MP3’s and just ride it out.
Doremi Fasol Latido and <Astounding Sounds, Amazing Music</a> are a good start.
I like to put on Cold Spring Harbor to set the mood, then play the meta-irony card by pumping up the Knack’s “Good Girls Don’t (But I Do)” just at the moment of playful surrender.
I always equated Klonopin with The Doors “When the Music’s over”….
I was gonna ask if you’d sell me some until I looked up the side effects and found that I have a natural occurrence of all of them except the menstrual problems and vaginal inflammation (Look up Klonopin).
I kinda dig the hallucinations. Like for instance, earlier today I defeated Skeletor in a battle to the death with nothing more than a couple of chop sticks and my trusty dwarf sidekick “really short guy.”
I once got a bunch of Klonapin “wafers” from my doc…they looked (and felt) like small discs of styrofoam. Just pop one on your mouth and it instantly disappears, leaving nothing but a slightly numb spot on the tongue and a pleasant fog in the head.
Alprazolam, however, remains my favorite.
Thank God for for bicuculline-sensitive GABA receptors, Calcium ionophores, and pretty much the entire allosteric modulation process!
Oh Lord, Klonopin! They put me on that after prescribing another med that could lead to seizures. It was two days before I got around to reading the lit that comes with it.
No wonder I felt like I wanted to go beg spare change down at the pool hall like a drooling Red freak. Good luck if you can get wood behind it for any kind of carnal collision.
Aah yes; ‘tis the season to chug some ‘Tussin… fa la la la la, la la la {vomit contents of stomach while giving a thumbs-up and coming out smiling because it’s all good} la.
Life is So Grand!!
ALBERT Hofmann, the father of LSD, walked slowly across the small corner office of his modernist home on a grassy Alpine hilltop here, hoping to show a visitor the vista that sweeps before him on clear days. But outside there was only a white blanket of fog hanging just beyond the crest of the hill. He picked up a photograph of the view on his desk instead, left there perhaps to convince visitors of what really lies beyond the windowpane.
Mr. Hofmann will turn 100 on Wednesday, a milestone to be marked by a symposium in nearby Basel on the chemical compound that he discovered and that famously unlocked the Blakean doors of perception, altering consciousnesses around the world.
I love this part:
Mr. Hofmann rose, slightly stooped and now barely reaching five feet, and walked through his house with his arm-support cane. When asked if the drug had deepened his understanding of death, he appeared mildly startled and said no. “I go back to where I came from, to where I was before I was born, that’s all,” he said.
http://sondrak.com/index.php/weblog/speed_kills_acid/
Read the label!
“Do not drive a vehicle, operate heavy machinery, blog, or take any advice from blog commenters, while taking this medication. If you have delusions that you are the head of the DNC, House Minority Leader, Senate Minority Leader, or Senior Senator from Massachusetts and desire to hold a press conference, discontinue use and contact your physician immediately.”
Wait, am I the only person reading this blog who has no idea what any of these drugs are? Now I’m concerned because I find Jeff amusing and my only “drug” of choice is whiskey!
Klonopin: Oh, and the hippie chicks won’t mind a bit if it takes you a few hours to get your pump primed, in your condition. Not so long as you know a few other ways to skin a cat, that is.
Turing = business, as in Never let a little viral or chemical impairment get in the way of taking care of business.
Awww, man…you got Klonopin? I’m jealous!!! One of my idiot doctors took me off of it because she felt it had “addictive” qualities.
I mean, I wasn’t addicted….just because I wanted to take more than perscribed to keep the good times rolling…was I?
Whatever else can be said about klonopin I hear that it definitely mellows one’s harsh.
Klonopin shouldn’t do anything about the wood. Keep us posted on that.
And don’t be afraid to take pictures. Remember that you always post pictures of your junk on Saturday nights. You’ve never failed to in the past. Or if you did, you made up for it on Sunday mornings.
Oh, and I wish I’d known Sanity Inspector back in the day. Sounds like he takes his responsibilities seriously.
Dude, in the scheme of “multipartner carnality”, I would worry less about your wood than the wood of others.
A word to the wise.
Any relation to the IL Skoogs, Spurringirl?
I’ve taken Klonopin for at least five years for hyperhidrosis during client visits and sales presentations (think Albert Brooks in the anchor chair in Broadcast Newsâ€â€I’m not exaggerating one bit). It works. But I take only 0.5 mg maybe twice a day. My observations:
– It won’t affect your wood. Hell, with 2 mg, you might even have wood to spare.
– It is addictive to an extent, but not claw-your-eyes-out addictive. I’m probably more addicted to coffee.
– 2 mg is *a lot*. I’m sure your doctor knows what he’s doing, but if I took four of my pills, I’d be inclined to shop at the local Kroger naked. And I’m a big guy (6ft 3in, 250 lbs), so not only would I stand out among my fellow shoppers, but you’d think that my capacity to absorb the medicine would be quite high.
– After taking it for so long, I don’t really like it. It doesn’t seem to make me feel good enough to be tempted to use it recreationally (as I would expect Xanax or Valium would). It makes me feel tired and sluggish, so I make sure to exercise daily to counteract it. It also seems affect my memory slightly. But nothing’s perfect, and it does the job for what it was prescribed.
I hope it works out for you.
My doc prescribed klonopin for hot flashes. It really works and I get no side effects. Well, except for having a sudden interest in all things normally boring as hell to me and a complete inability to understand any of it.
Now, what was I saying?
Maybe your bowels were abnormally tense, before. Bowel tension is relative, after all.
Alpuccinno ~
Probably no relation, however, since we are few and far between, I usually claim them all.
Dang, I am so jealous!
The only side effects I got from clonazepam were vomiting and a tendency to cut my wrists.
Although the vomiting could have been just psychological and the wrist-cutting could have been a freaky coincidence.
My older Brother is schizo-affective. He’s got mood and thought disorder. I recall him being on Klonopin years ago. That and lithium.
None of that sounds like “good times”.
Jeff, I got off Klonopin after a few weeks because it was turning me into one of the living dead. Unless you’re suffering from one of the handful of conditions that it’s primarily indicated for, you could do much better on something else. I spent the money to go to a good psychpharmacologist who prescribed the right medication, and I’m feeling much better with virtually no side effects (except for the urge to write comments on blogs–what’s up with THAT?)
Wait, this sounds familiar. Haven’t you already done a short story about this?
Hey guy. You can pop some Klonopin and come to my Kroger any time.
Damn, you people take a lot of drugs.
Me, I get high on life.
MayBee so hawney
Hey, if it’s good enough for PJ O’Rourke…
Oh, goodness Alpie.
I’m just bein’ neighborly, is all.
Neighborly. That’s what the kids are calling it these days?
Don’t make me dig up your comments from the “Under the weather” thread.
You may not be “thinking about “them” all the time”, but you are thinking about them.
You know Aunt Bee was a dirty, dirty girl.
Carry on neighbor.
I got 1mg tabs sitting in my pocket right now for panic attacks. Great stuff for about 30 minutes. No panic and I actually feel perfectly normal. Then, out of nowhere I’m an extra from Dawn of the Dead.
For hours.
I find it amusing to contrast the image I get of commenters at PW from posts like this with the image I suspect left-wing blog writers/readers have of PW’s readers.
As the wife of a 10-year klonopin taker (bipolar) I can tell you that while the wood is willing, it just doesn’t know how to stop.
Hence the vaginal inflammation side-effect.
I got sister & kids-hounded into going to see this super quit-smoking doc, and came away after a day-long battery of tests diagnosed with ADD and a script for Adderall. It works, you get far too busy sorting objects, to light a cigaret. But i can’t stay on the stuff, as it makes me feel “normal” and I’m at a loss that way. Plus I’ve already got everything for miles around cleaned, polished, sorted, and in alphabetical order, and the Sheriff has asked me to please not leave the house anymore, for awhile.
while pregnant last year, i told my ob dr. i was suffering from anxiety caused from all the genetic and other testing they were performing on me and baby because they considered me “high risk” as i was 35 years old. in my 2nd trimester, my dr. put me on prozac 20mg. i had an increase in anxiety, so she increased the dose to 40mg. Prozac only seemed to increase my anxiety, and i became very worried about the safety of my unborn baby. i delivered my baby premature at 33 weeks.
i became overwhelmed with concern about breastfeeding while on prozac. the same dr. prescribed me ativan, and told me i needed to see a psychiatrist to regulate the meds. i freaked out and quit taking my medications and breastfeeding. i wished i had never taken prozac while pregnant. i dont know if my baby suffered any side effects from it or not, as she had several complications due to being premature. i saw a shrink about 6 weeks after her birth and she put me klonopin. .5mg 2x day and paxil 10 mg. once a day. my anxiety is worse than ever, and i constantly feel nauseated. the meds make me tired, and i am irritable a lot. i think i am worse off than when i started these anxiety/depression meds. i feel like my baby came early because of the hell the university hospital team put me through. to tell the truth…toking a doobie every now and then out in the garage works far better. my doctor thinks i need to be on these meds, and my insurance will be cancelled if i don’t take my meds. i guess i need a lawyer. at least he/she can’t prescribe me drugs.
You think adjusting to Klonopin is bad, try adapting to adderall. It’s been a lifesaver for me, but it sure made me loony at first.
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