Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”
me: “Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence!”
Merrick: “I AM A HUMAN BEING!”
me: “Sure, I know that. Just busting your enormous, calcified chops. Seriously, though: how much for the burlap drool sack? I know a guy on eBay that could turn that into big cash. $500 get it done?”
Merrick:
Merrick: “I AM NOT ONE TO BE LOW-BALLED!”
me: “Really? Hardball? For a stained, glorified sweat band? Jesus. So what, now you’re not only a human being but you’re an entrepreneur, too?
Merrick: “JUST THINK OF ME AS A JEWISH HUMAN BEING!”
me: “Wow. You actually went there. Okay. $850 it is, then, Schlomo. But just because you’re all pitiful, don’t think I won’t get you drunk on Schnapps and trim your useless skin bonnet while you’re passed out in a puddle of your own sick.”
Wait, it was you who did that? All this time I’ve been blaming the armadillo.
If David Lynch were dead, would he be rolling in his grave? Is Michael Jackson?
Adapting ClownDeceptor’s axiomatic “leading from [his] behind” to a gopeed “leading from festered” doesn’t, on it’s hideous face, look to be a fitting solution.
Better get that pick appraised.
i was thinking of making some extra salad dressing for my lunch tomorrow
Tosser.
yeah but i changed my mind and
ok yeah that’s a lie
i made a lil bit and put it in one of those wee small glad togo thingies
“I am not an animal!”
“Well…you’re not a bacteria or a plant or a fungus. I think you ARE an animal. But…I am being rude and oppressive…what kingdom do you identify as? Do you have a tumblr page and a patreon?”