In response to a historians’ list of the 10 Worst Britons of the last 1000 years, Alexandra of All Things Beautiful has asked for a list of the 10 Worst Americans of all time. Rather than thinking this over, I’ve decided to go with my gut and name the first 10 that come to mind:
10. Steve G*rtz
A musclebound bully who spent his late teens and early twenties looking for opportunities to pound on me with his hamlike fists. Enormously stupid, painfully unfunny. And unable to throw an overhand punch, blessedly. Just an awful human.
9. Lori L*vin
My high school girlfriend. Manipulative, dangerous, evil. LET’S SEE YOU CHEAT ON ME NOW, HONEY!
8. The two old Germanic spinster sisters who lived next door to me until I was 5-years old
Every time a basketball or baseball or a toy made it over the fence into their yard, it was confiscated, never to be seen again. For all I know, they put them in big ovens and disposed of them that way…
7. Jane Fonda
Almost forgave her for the whole North Vietnam thing because of fine performances in Klute and 9 to 5, but in the end, treason simply has to override an unmistakable ability to mouth the lines others have written for you. Otherwise, the terrorists will have won.
6. Benedict Arnold
A no brainer. Not sure what he did, really, but having seen his name in books, I feel confident putting him on the list nevertheless.
5. Tony something or other, who lived with me on 5th Street in Ocean City, MD, in the late 1980s.
Remember that time you were all coked up and were putting holes in the bedroom walls with your fists, Tony? Remember being buck naked with an erection while doing so? Remember my trying to stop you, and your wigging out and throwing punches at me? Remember me having to parry not only your wild roundhouse rights, but your angry, springy penis?
You’re lucky I didn’t kill you in your sleep, man.
4. The writers / producers of “Sex in the City” (after season 2)
The Appletini and the metrosexual? All your fault. Were Steve McQueen alive he’d beat you with a shovel on principle.
3. Tony Danza
Just go away already, would you? I mean, I can’t even watch morning TV anymore for fear you’ll show up and tap dance. Seriously, man—you were on “Taxi”! Now look at you. Have you no shame?
2. George Soros
The man who would be king. Keeps Oliver Willis fueled on snack cakes.
1. David Blaine
A shameless self-promoter whose powers mirror those of the Dark Prince, Blaine just may be the Beast. DAMN YOUR EVIL “MAGIC,” DAVID BLAINE! AND DAMN YOUR MUSTACHE, WHICH, IN ITS BOYSISH PATCHINESS, MOCKS THE MEMORY OF DOUG HENNING’S GLORIOUS AND FULL MUSTACHE OF GOOD AND RIGHT!
Feel free to add your choices in the comments.
Complete cliche, I know, and way too easy, but:
Michael Moore, for complete intellectual dishonesty in (so-called) documentary (so-called) art, for utter hypocrisy in his personal investments. Plus, he’s a jerk, and an arrogant one at that. And I’m not usually that blunt (I don’t think, anyway).
Missing an “and” between “art,” and “for utter”.
#s 1 – ?. The ass-knobs who broke into the Big Hair’s car and jacked her brand-new stereo less than 12 hours after it was installed.
Serious list for 2005 (scope of “all time” too large for this kid) :
1. Dan Rather/Mary Mapes
2. John “Do you know who I am” Kerry
3. Biden, Durbin, Pelosi, Boxter, Kennedy. All equally detestable.
4. Ramsey Clarke- fuck Ramsey Clark, fuck him up his stupid ass
5. Sadaam Hussein
6. The American Press
7. The Foreign Press
8. Jacques Chirac
9. Zaquawi (I refuse to learn how to spell the scumbags name correctly).
10. City of San Francisco
Why’d they have to go and put Eadric Streona on the list? If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times—Siferth and Morcar had it coming.
Uh, Doug Henning is Canadian, and a loon. He’s promoting transdental meditation to solve the world’s problems.
Now, David Copperfield, there’s your all-american magician.
Garrison Keillor.
tw: yeah, that’s my response, Keillor, you waste of time and money.
Canadian? Figures.
Dyami Etania of the Anishinaabe tribe, circa 1063, for reasons known to her and generations of those her actions harmed.
…worst bitch ever.
transdental meditation
I think that comment was posted in the wrong thread.
I nominate the chix-with-dix perv at Hanes who decided that these sweatpants I’m wearing need pockets.
Sitting there empty, the pockets crumple up inside the pants and make me look “hippy,” which is embarrassing even when no one’s around to see it. And if I put anything heavier than lint in one of them, and then walk down some stairs or something, Newton’s first law of sweatpants says my wang’s gonna fly out.
I can picture the sicko now, sweating over his drafting table, so turned on by the coming global tide of wide-hipped ladyboys accidentally exposing themselves in stairwells that he can barely move his pencil.
That’s near-Danza-level vileness, right there.
I don’t think so. He disappeared the Statue of Liberty, man! He even married a German. Fucking fascist. If you want all-American magicians you gotta go with Penn and Teller.
Don’t know if these are the most evil Americans ever, but they have to be among the finalists:
–Norman Lear, for turning the sitcom, one of our few indigenous artforms, into an incredibly preachy, whiny liberal screed that stunk up television for decades;
–Joe Jackson, for siring the Jackson children, turning them into pathetic, deformed human beings, and then inflicting them on everybody else;
–Jimmy Carter, for reasons too obvious and numerous to state;
–Ruchard Simmons. Not really evil, I guess. But Lord, do I hate him. Who needs a pudgy fitness guru? Jack LaLanne could kill him with a single punch, and Jack LaLanne is 91 years old.
I haven’t even come close to listing contemporary evil Americans. But, let’s face it, the 1970s produced a real bumper crop.
Al Franken
Janine Garafalo
Barbra Streisand
Noam Chomsky
My bil’s wife (found a new boyfriend while he was fighting in Baghdad – and sent him a letter to tell him)
Kwame Kilpatrick (perhaps not deserving to be on this list, I’m just REALLY REALLY pissed he won re-election in Detroit)
1. Dan Rather
2. Michael Moore
3. George Soros
4. Michael Moore
5. T – Tim McVeigh
T – Harry Reid
6. The effing idiot from Texas (Buddy Mulkey)who evidently can’t drive on MN’s winter roads, and hit my parked Trailblazer, wrecking the driver’s side rear panel. And he was, naturally, uninsured. I hope he contracts syphilis. Today.
7. Our friends at CAIR
8. Jesse Jackson
9. Carl Pohlad. Rondell White? Rondell effing White? The Twins have a 18-year streak without having a 30+ HR hitter – and this in the streroid-ball era of inflated numbers – and your solution to fill the corner outfield/DH position is Rondell White. Billionaire prick.
10. Kenny G. ‘Nuff said.
I nominate Johnny Walker Lindh (American Taliban) for most evil American. His lawyer now claims his 20-year prison sentence is too harsh… I guess he forgets that Lindh avoided the firing squad in 2002 by accepting that sentence. And have you read Lindh’s testimony from that original trial? He claims he did not know about the Taliban’s treatment of women or ties to Al Qaeda. I guess his meeting with bin Laden was pure coincidence.
Glen Frey, for not ending Don Henley when he had the chance, and for sucking more than Joe Walsh.
A pox on his house.
How about Woodrow Wilson? You know, the president who actually did permenant damage to civil liberties, including outright cencorship. And he was responsible for the income tax.
Martin Sheen
Gina Davis
For forgetting that they are actors. Not the President…
Assholes……
Benedict Arnold was a good pick. That Green Acres show was awful.
John Kerry, for being an ass and looking French.
I could only come up with 5.
Ms. Billie Delav*tt – 3rd grade teacher, she lived for humiliating me.
John Sp*w – neighborhood bully, probably dead from honking spraypaint.
Patricia Goldst*in (no relation to our gracious bloghost, I hope) – neighborhood psychopath, stole my wife’s car.
Greg Kaufm*n – another asshole from my childhood.
Judy Tabl*r – chick I dated in High School, I’m surprized she didn’t give me an STD
I nominate who ever is responsible for green-lighting the endless movies that are remakes of old tv shows or third rate old movies.
Good lord, a remake of Fun with Dick and Jane*??
It’s obvious. George W. Bush.
Sheeeesh.
Thomas Beckett? Really?
I always thought he was supposed to be the poor victimized one in the story, not the guy who had him killed…
Lets see:
1-The blonde from the bar the other night.
I’m a handsome man, damn it.
I’m a handsome man.
I’m a handsome man.
(Self-reinforcement, they teach you that in therapy.)
2-Phil from accounting. For reasons that would be rather obvious if you met the fellow.
3-Woodrow Wilson, for the racism and the censorship and the destruction of german-american culture in this country…
Mr Softee.
If you guys only knew.
Hmmm.
I think it involves eggs for some reason. Perhaps the guy was in business with Frank Perdue.
I nominate myself! Geesh you people are stupid.
Wow! SO much evil, so little time.
1. Gotta go with Woodrow Wilson. Alien & sedition acts, Palmer Raids, hating Germans, lied to get us into a war.
2. Lyndon Johnson. He lied to get us into Vietanm in a major way. Can you say Gulf of Tonkin? I knew you could. For almost single-handedly killing the republican civil rights act of 1957, only to resurrect it in 1964, when he and the dems could claim credit for it. For institutionalizing much of the govenment social-welfare beauracracy that we are saddled with today.
3. Jimmy Carter. Need I say more.
4. Bill Clinton. For bringing blatant politicization to a new level not seen since Andrew jackson implemented the ‘spoils system.’ For being a feckless smirking misogynistic liar and using the cover of the presidency to protect his worthless ass, thus almost precipitating a constitutional crisis. And all for some not so god looking tail too.
5. George McClelland. Ineffectual Union general and 1864 democrat presidential candidate. For being the Kerry of his time.
6. Willian Randolph Hearst. For prototyping what the MSM has devolved into. (“Youj ust get me the pictures and I’ll provide the war.”)
7. Henry L. Dawes. Sponser of the Indain Removal Act of q830, which resulted in the Cherokee ‘Trail of Tears.’
8. Gary Lewis (and the Playboys). For playing some of the arguably worst bubble gum rock of the 60’s.
9. Yoko Ono. Though not technically a US citizen at the time, for being the catalyst for the breakup of the Beatles.
10. A tie between J. Edgar Hoover (a.k.a. Mary) and Roy Cohn, McCarthy’s lickspittle sidekick. Now there’s a closet gay marrige made in hell.
Lest anybody get confused, Doug Henning died in 2000 of cancer. Confirmed via the Dead or Alive site.
Maybe I was the only one confused. Wouldn’t be the first time.
Alger Hiss, Henry Dexter White, and all those other douchebags who betrayed the country for that evil fuck Joe Stalin…
I named Jeff. One, anyone who has relationships with their glasses and toothbrushes is sick, sick, sick. Two, um, ok, there really isn’t a two.
Glasses freak.
All the disturbed minds behind the recent Burger King commercials—the one with the hypercreepy, plastic faced King. Yikes, gives me the willies.
– The brainiac who thought up the theme music for the Vonage Hoo-hoo-hoo ads. If I could find him I’d tie him up and force him to listen to a month of Barry Manilow’s greatest hits, intersparsed with Leonard Nemoy “Vulcan love balads” tracks….At full volume…..
– Woopie Goldbergs latest Liberal screech-fest, and Bush bashing crusade, fashioned as a thinly disguised HBO comedy special. I really wish that spoiled-brat bitch would just shut the fuck up already. She hit a new low with a gush of bad jokes on 9/11. The woman needs some professional help baaaaaadly….
– Neil “theres no war on Christmas” Gabler… the guy has to be the biggest total all out asshole on FOX. Like a one man idiot repository. If theres a spec of anti-American fly-shit anywhere in the country, he can find it and pontificate in the best Marx tradition for 40 minutes without taking a breath….
– MoDo…. for not keeping her promise….
– Lurch Kerry – The Sena-dork who can do every 180 known to man except the right one…
– Kenne-drunk – whos liver just has to be on its last legs by now….
– Jane “Fuck America” Fonda …. I’m really really enjoying watching her grow OLLLLLLDDDDD….
– Polosi, Reid, Dean, etc. – The entire Libera-crat leadership, for managing to alienate the vast majority of American voters, along with the Liberal lap-dog press/TV, who aid and abet the enemy because they are so intelligent….
This is easy, Fred Phelps has to be the number one worst person in the history of the US. Protesting the war and the soldiers at their very own funerals.
Wait, I mean that cock-knockin’ shitbird Michael Crook who sent the “Death-wish” letter to PFC Sparling while he was recuperating at Walter Reed Hospital. He’s probably the number one worst of all time.
No it has to be the cadre of democratic political opportunists who place their political careers above the best interests of the country they purport to represent. I’m looking at you Pelosi, Kennedy, Durbin, Reid, McKinney…
Wait wait wait I know, it’s that former Marine Lance Massey for lying about war atrocities, but hold up, he only got traction because of a complicit america hating elite press corps. It’s them, they’re the worst. But the press corps are probably such miserable america hating fucks because they were indoctrinated through liberal academia, so it’s probably Chomsky and Churchill who are really the number one worst american of all time.
Ahh crap, this isn’t easy at all.
That uneducated country yokel who waged war on changing justifications, divided the country, jailed dissenters, invoked the name of the big invisible grownup in the sky and generally just plain looked like a monkey. YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN.
…
ABE LINCOLN!
-That Jon kid who busted my plastic tractor trike when I was four. He was a smarmy five year old who I think lived by himself under a bridge. Oh wait. He doesn’t count. He was Canadian.
-Jimmy Carter and George McGovern. No, my bad. Both Canadian.
-Bastard who wrote the BeepBeep.com jingle.
-Derek Jeter and Joe Montana. Overrated motherfuckers.
-Anderson Cooper from CNN. I just hate that cocksucker.
-Thomas Jefferson. Well, calling him one of the worst Americans ever might be overstating it. But I prefer Alexander Hamilton.
-Hitler. (Little known fact: actually he was Austrian.)
-And, because I’m noticing that we patriarchs are neglecting to frothingly hate American women in proportion to their numbers and in accordance with their undeniable abilities to be complete cunts, I nominate Susan B. Anthony and Sacagewea. Traitorous Canadian loonie wannabes.
Gotta disagree with Benedict Arnold. The man was a hero at Ticonderoga. The reason given for his treason is that he would not abide cooperation with the French. How about replacing him with Bobby Flay, the talentless hack who thinks he can teach me how to grill meat. What a douche.
… a compelling argument. Something about that primadonna has always bugged me.
Not that, y’know, I watch Food Network or anything. I mean, uh, my girlfriend does. Sometimes I’m in the room, walking by the TV while on my way to do manly things, and sometimes I accidentally catch a glimpse of a delicious souffle recipe but that doesn’t make me funny or anything.
All the AQ and talibs in Gitmo. Plus all the other terrorists we pick up around the world.
Not American you say?
Since the MSM and hard left insist on giving them protections under the U.S. Constitution, I’d say they’re more American than not at this point.
If you have Jane Fonda, add Peter, as an icon of all that was shallow in Hollywood and still is shallow in Hollywood. Easy Rider, aaarrrghhh!
Timothy Leary, for getting Boomers so stoned they still haven’t woken up, thereby ruining western civilization. Honk if you know what decade this is.
And finally Tom Hayden as a political Leary and again related to Jane Fonda. What a dolt. A sadly influential dolt, but there it is.
The Vondage commercial song is from Kill Bill, personally selected by Tarantino. Done by the 5,6,7,8’s.
My picks? Tie between Jimmah Carter and Tony Orlando, with George McClellan and the Rosenbergs a close second. Oh and of course Al Davis.
The people responsible for Quentin Tarantino. C’mon, you know his entire career and reputation as a “director” has got to be an elaborate practical joke that got way out of control and has now taken on a life of its own.
Gallagher fills slots one through ten in my universe.
The aliens who stole Steven Speilberg and replaced him with whatever pod or vat born creature that is directing his movies now.
I hate those guys.
Three words: Rodney Allen Rippey.
Cindy.Fucking.Sheehan
No, Scott R. – that one must be referred to as “He Who Must Not Be Named.”
You know, like John Davidson.
The bitch who just made a left hand turn in front of me when I had the right of way. Oh yeah, I almost stopped in time and just bumped her. NO damage to my car, two scratches on hers, and she calls an ambulance for her sore neck and back. This is the wench that the cop laughed at when she was in the ambulance AND that my insurance agent knew by name due to another claim less than a month ago. Direct quote from my agent “Merry F-ing Xmas Carrie. Now I have to start drinking to work up the balls to call this woman”. Not very professional, but brightened my day.
American
1. Jane Fonda – Urinal Target
2. Ted Kennedy – Bloated Murderer
3. Micky Moore – Laughing all the way to the Bank
4. Mumia – Another Lying Murderer
5. Diane Feinstein – Gun-grabbing Bitch
6. Ted Rall – Needs Drawing Lessons
7. Walter Cronkite – Rot in Hell, Lying Bastard
8. Sean Penn – Representing Hollywood Moonbats
9. That Guy Dressed up as a Sea Turtle
10. My First Wife – I got Belle’d
International
1. Kim Jung Il – Scary Dwarf
2. Robert Fisk – For Lending his Name
3. Whoever thought up Kyoto
4. George Galloway – Can you Possibly Puke me out More?
5. Saddam Hussein – Payback’s a Bitch
6. The French – Just for Being You
7. MP Andrew Dinsmore – Personally Disarmed the Brits
8. Bono – No, you can’t have any more of my Money
9. The German Courts – Butterfingers
10. Kofi Fucking Annan
I have a short list: Geraldo.
We’ve been playing this game at Left Behinds, too.
So far we’ve had arguments for Leo Strauss, Woodrow Wilson, Andrew Jackson, John Buchanan, Roger Taney, Rush Limbaugh, James McLaughlin, David Hasselhoff, Barbara Bush, and the entire Christian Right. Plus my ex boyfriend Iggy, who really needs to stop emailing me.
Tops on my list is all those idiots who camped out at the stores before sunup on the day after Thanksgiving, so they could buy stuff and give it to people who camped out at the stores before sunup the day after Christmas so they could return it all.
A close second is an yone who could put Barbara Bush on a list of the ten worst Americans ever.
1. George McGovern, Jimmy Carter, Alan Cranston, Mo Udall, Frank Church, and the rest of the peacenik, dumbass fucks that hijacked what was formerly a thoughtful political party. We need a loyal, serious opposition, folks–not whatever it is that inhabits that space in the political spectrum now. Labour followed Neil Kinnock over the cliff in Britain, you gotta wonder if that’s what it will take here (yeah, yeah–it’s pretty much happened repeatedly here since 1972).
2. Lonnie Smith for stopping between second and third in the 1991 World Series. LOOK AT THE THIRD BASE COACH!!! Lesson 1, Day 1, Little League 101.
3. Whoever decided to remake “Psycho.”
4. John McLaughlin for providing Eleanor Clift a forum to spew lefty intellectual masturbation.
5. All MSM war reporters who think an M1 is the latest Ashlee Simpson album. LEARN A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR SUBJECT, JACKASS!!! Lesson 1, Day 1, Journalism 101.
6. Ramsey Clark. Please die. Now. Preferably at Saddam’s hands. What sweet irony that would be.
7. Robin R******s who broke my heart in 8th grade. Cue ELO’s “Evil Woman.”
8. Pat Robertson, who has done more to undermine the idea of faith than anyone. Ever.
9. Lyndon Johnson and his idea that my money is the cause of someone’s poverty.
10. Every hippie who ever spouted “Give Peace a Chance.” (Turns out the Soviets DID have plans to invade through the Fulda Gap, you ‘tards.)
Bill Clinton, for so completely fucking over the second worst American ever, Hillary Clinton
Senator Frank Church… screw American Intelligence , South Vietnam and Cambodia
Congressman Phillip Burton …. whos reform striped power away from a handful in congress and handed it over to the lobbyist paradise.
General McClellan….. Civil War Pussy
Benidict Arnold …. Revolutionary Pussy
J Edgar Hoover ….
would say something but since Mark Felt is still alive I leave this one blank. Won’t make the same mistake Nixon did.
Colonel Edward House…. Under cut President Wilson dreams of promoting Democracy in World
I want to make it clear that I don’t know wishbone, wishbone didn’t attend junior high with me, I got both an X and a Y chromosome and I’m getting a restraining order as soon as the courthouse opens in the morning.
Thought about it when I wrote it Robin–perhaps I should have included one of the middle letters in the last name to avoid confusion.
Evil woman.
1. Bill Clinton. for gutting our HUMINT intel programs and then trying to blame Bush for 911.
2. Madeleine Albright. for self serving perjury.
3. Steven Jay Gould. for promoting psuedo-science.
4. My best friend in 3rd grade, Joanna McClelland. because she had a black shetland pony with a red leather saddle and she pushed her boyfriend Kevin off the hay wagon and broke his arm and ruined my birthday party.
5. Leon Kass, former head of the odious “bioethics” council.
6. Neil Young, for his horrible music.
7. Whoever invented “destroyed” jeans, because, altho fashionable, they don’t make the dress code at work. Looking professional and destruction whiskers don’t mix.
8. Bruce Springsteen, for his horrible music.
9. My ninth grade boyfriend (i-can’t-remember-his-name) whose garage band stylings permanently damaged both my hearing and my psyche.
10. Jeff Goldstein, for making me think of all these loathesome people.
Ok, so, not really the Worst Americans Ever, but these people have been a drag…
1) Noam Chomsky/Howard Zinn – Chomsky for a lot of things, but in particular his “intentional disaster/starvation, etc.” prognostication of the Afghanis in 2001. Zinn for his popular Communist Manifesto retread “the People’s History”. Saw him in Cambridge this summer, I walked the other way.
2) All the dishonest and foul mouthed people I’d debated the issue of the Iraq War with online.
3) All the knee-jerk liberals in my home state of Massachusetts who obey the dictates of the unquestionable “common assumption”.
4) http://www.knowthyneighbor.org -These jerks are going to post all the names of people who signed a recent petition to put the issue of homosexual marriage on the ballot in Massachusetts… up on their website which intructs people to boycott the business of anyone in your town you might find on the list. ( I expect to either lose my job over this or get harrassed as being “homophobic” ).
5) Moby – For attempting to sing. ( I think the record reviewer at the New York Times gets a runner-up award here for the time this forgettable reviewer correlated Moby’s new record with an idea Francis Fukiyama had written a book about. )
6) Bilmon.org – For this comment…
Quote:
“But it’s still hard to escape the conclusion that the American people have had, generally speaking, plenty of opportunities to learn the filthy truth about this administration and this war—that is, if they were actually interested in the truth, which many of them (up to 51%, judging from the last election) apparently are not.
What the health of the Republic requires, in other words, may not be a new crop of leakers and whistleblowers, or a fresh young generation of Woodwards and Bernsteins—or even a more independent, aggressive media. What it may need is a new population . . .”
7) All the loonies in SanFran and NYC who held signs at anti-war protests which either depicted president Bush as Hitler, or proposed the annihilation of the state of Israel. For these people, a one way ticket to a reality of their own worst imagining would be the only just reward.
8) The self-proclaimed journalist/philosopher gal I met through http://www.match.com who works for NPR, who, upon my comparing the philosophies of John Locke and Moqtada Al Sadr responded with …”You’re being semantic”. “This is a philosophical conversation, I don’t see how it relates to Iraq”. “I don’t think you can say that”. “All arguments have their reasons”.
9) Dennis “mind control satellites” Kucinich – For proposing a “Dept. of Peace”.
10) MichaelMooreJohnKerryJimmyCarterDanRatherMoonbatsAll
Pick the first ten Vietnam War protesters who come to mind. No particular order. I would personally like to hunt them down (assuming they’re all still alive) and bitch slap them with great vigor. Thank you very much, you miserable toads, for giving an entire generation such an image we have to lie about our age.
Ha, I’m flattered that I made it onto your list, McGehee. Here’s my explanation for including Barbara Bush:
1) Barbara Bush
For (one way or another) squeezing out of her otherwise airtight hooch the most despicable political dynasty in American history.
I would like to see a David Blaine special wherein he’s encased in a block of ice and placed atop the Empire State Building, then suffocates and dies.
That’s the whole trick.
Left Behind:
Hi, I’m Rose Kennedy. Mary Jo Kopechne and I would like a word with you.
And if you REALLY want a conundrum–measure Teddy’s head and my nether regions.
That’ll make you wonder.
A forgotten few:
1) Rosie O’Donnell. Not for being a fat screechy lesbian, but for sandbagging Tom Selleck days after Columbine. Why? Because he had the nerve to belong to the NRA. Which made him, you know, responsible.
2)Earl Butz. For cheap edible oils and corn sweetener and my beerbelly.
3) Harry J. Anslinger, for harshing our national mellow.
Wishbone,
I’m the ghosts of thousands of Iraqis slaughtered in a pointless war, hundreds of neglected Hurrican Katrina refugees, and future taxpayers who will have to pay off the debt being incrued by this administration (though by then we’ll be Chinese citizens, since Bush is selling off the country to China), and I’d like a word with you.
(P.S. That big head joke made me laugh—so true: she’s a small woman!)
Neglected Katrina refugees. Bullshit.
Selling off the country to China. Right. Go learn economics, please. (See: Japanese real estate investments circa 1988.)
By future taxpayers, that means say me and my “secure” social security system, right?
And “pointless wars”–I suggest you ask some, you know, Iraqis. Like those that just, you know, voted as part of the great Chimpy plot to take over blah blah blah…
Statements like those are why we can’t take you seriously.
10 Worst Americans in Last 50 Years (in no order):
Jimmy Carter
Bill Clinton
John Kerry
Noam Chomsky
Ken Lay
Walter Cronkite
Jerry Springer
The Rosenbergs
Jane Fonda
Jesse Jackson
Left behinds, I agree that all those thousands of slaughtered Iraqis deserve some payback for their suffering. Now how about you go after all the Baathists, Jordanians, Saudis, Moroccans and other batshit crazy islamotards who killed them?
And as far as “neglected Katrina refugees” goes, before you sling any shit at George Bush, you’ve gotta bury Nagin, Blanco, et al up to their nostrils in the same pile of shit. Oh wait, you can’t do that, can you. The (D) behind their names is a “Get Out of Jail Free Card” to the left.
I’m shocked that no one has included that informercial guy in the question mark suit who constantly brays about free money from the government on overnight cable. Waterboarding is too good for that turd, unless it’s waterboarding in a flaming tank of kerosene – I could go for that
Anthony Romero…he’s a fuckin’ disgrace, oh wait a minute, he’s French Canadian, fuhgetaboutit
Worst Americans?
#1
Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wilkes Booth, Leon Czolgosz, and the other assassins of our Nation’s Leaders. “Charlie Guiteau done shot down a good man, good man, Charlie Guiteau done shot down a good man low.”
#2
The Rosenburgs, Alger Hiss, and all the people in positions of responsibility, who abuse that responsibility for treasonous intent. I mean all the way up to last f’ing week.
#3
All the morbid slime of politicians, press, unions, lobbyists, executives who make more money than G-d every year, and STILL find it necessary to fleece our pockets. Put ‘em together, boil ‘em in a pot, stick ‘em in a stew. Potatos.
But the first two get their own categories.
Hell, Russ, any enemy of Batman’s is an enemy of mine.
One trait I’ve noticed among conservatives is a tendency toward a weird, reductive paranoia. And apparently a couple of you also don’t have a sense of humor.
How do you know what I would think about Nagin, Blanco, et al? I happen to agree that Nagin was negligently incompetent. That doesn’t mean Bush wasn’t also criminally negligent.
Shhh. Don’t spoil the mystery. Really.
Left Behind, I think that you meant Rose Kennedy there. Ted “I can swim!” Kennedy has already been mentioned, and the Kennedy political family is legendary. Not all were worthless turds like Ted, but the math about him pulling down the family average is simple enough.
But let’s not forget John F. Kennedy, who initiated the policy of supporting South Vietnam against the Communinist North Vietnam. You know, the same Vietnam War frequently compared to Iraq, often in association with the word “quagmire”?
And although she was not directly responsible for this travesty, John F. Kennedy served as a role model for John F. Kerry, whose name has been rightly nominated many times over. So Rose is guilty by association.
That’s for retroactive justice fer ya!
One trait I’ve noticed about dumb, loud people is that they think they’re far more interesting and clever than they actually are.
One trait that I’ve noticed amongst lefties is their tendency to project their faults……..
10. John Wayne Gacy
This serial killer made the city of Chicago quake, and then retch. His escapades came at the same time as the rise of popular media which was struggling to emerge from its free TV, network only base to what we see today. It was Gacy all the time, every channel. The first modern-media serial killer.
9. Benedict Arnold
A hero in the American Revolution, he turned sides and nearly cost the rebels the war. For what? Some say for the love of a Tory woman.
8. Ted Kennedy
Review the particulars of the Chappaquiddick incident. He’s a cold-blooded murderer, yet he’s served in our Senate for years. It’s mind-bending to see that the people of Massachussetts continue to vote this man into office based only on his last name. And that’s the rub. He’s royalty, and America isn’t about royalty…
7. Noam Chomsky
What else can be said of this paranoid freak? He’s influenced thousands upon thousands of pseudo-intellectual college students with his quackery.
6. Michael Moore
Dude, who stole my country? Farenheit 9-11? Pure self-serving, X-files worthy paranoia. And it does nothing but to make him a buck. The man most responsible for our national incoherence regarding the War on Terror today.
5. Roger Baldwin, founder of the ACLU
You put Civil Liberties in your moniker, and Americans warm up to it. He was a Communist. And the current-day ACLU’s interests certainly betray that fact. He hoodwinked generations of Americans to believe his organization was fighting for liberty.
4. Franklin D. Roosevelt
He introduced ‘socialism-lite’ to America, and it’s done nothing but metastasize since. Short-sighted man who thought he was a Machiavellian politician, but his idealistic inclinations trumped that. We’re trillions set back as a nation, not to mention the utter failure of the follow-up Great-Society initiatives. Blame ghettos, drug wars, welfare dependancy, etc. on Mr. Roosevelt.
3. The Rosenbergs
As far as we know, their sin was to give the Soviets the knowledge they needed to build an atomic bomb. Quite the sin. The Cuban Missile Crisis, which seems to have gotten us to the brink of total nuclear annihilation, would not have been possible without the Rosenbergs.
2. Robert McNamara
He single-handedly ensured America’s defeat at the hands of the North Vietnamese and Viet Cong. There was no reason whatsoever we should have lost this war, but his bungling and interfering ensured a total loss of faith among the populace, countless casualties amongst our veterans, and the current impetus for the jihadis who still believe America will cut-and-run. At least he apologized…
1. John Dewey, education philosopher
Want to know why we churn out functional retards from our public schools? Who is the source of our politically correct paralysis when it comes to education? Who, by himself, has crippled generations of school-children from becoming autonomous, self-directed young adults, that hang around in gangs and consider education an enemy? Look no further than Mr. John Dewey…
Oh sorry, I didn’t realize you only wanted to talk with people who think exactly the same way.
Agreed about the Kennedies, who are the most overrated mandarins on the left (with the Bushies the most overrated mandarins on the right). The only advantage the Bushies have is that with each generation the Kennedies get fuglier and fuglier (Robert Kennedy Jr.? Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg??), whereas the Bushies were clever enough to marry pretty (Jeb’s song George? Lauren Bush? Va va voom).
Major props to Nishizono Shinji above for a clever evocation of Miike Takshi and Eiji Otsuka in their nom de plume. Now all that’s needed is for someone to adopt Amamiya Kazuhiko as their screen name.
I know – way too otaku.
Dadgumit, that should have been Miike Takishi.
BECAUSE OF THE MODIFIED HEPBURN ROMANJI!
LOLZ!
Paranoia? There’s nothing funny about keeping our nation’s black helicopters in the sky, friend. There’s nothing amusing about this nation’s sacred security. Or Air Force One.
Thank goodness we have a Texan in Washington. And large Lincoln limousines with 400 cubic inch V8 engines.
If it weren’t for us believers watching our borders, you’d be living in Thailand or Sri Lanka, fella, carving trinkets for the Soviets.
I suggest that you just think about that. You and all the pinkos who show up here without invitations, talking about the Sixties and altered states of consciousness.
:shudders, screams, gazes deeply albeit unwillingly into yawning existential abyss, finally runs away from smashed computer screen, clawing at own eyes, all the while howling ‘Oh God, the light! It burns!’:
I have ways of knowing what you might think. We all do. ASIDE FROM THE REDUCTIVE PARANOIA, I MEAN!
My aunt once left the gas stove on. Burned down the block. They found her negligent but not incompetent to run the damn thing. Negligently non-incompetenceousness, I believe they called it. She never got over it.
Doesn’t mean you can prove I’m not a lampost, either, come to think of it. Or a post office.
(tw: Material. Yeah, you can’t make this up.)
I know – way too otaku.
RS-san, there is no such thing as too otaku.
we should have Isono Machi too. she is one of my favorites. the subtle gradations of evil in her character are magnificent.
My not-soon-enough ex-wife to be. I’d name her, but she’s probably banging some of the people who visit the site.
This is a tough one.
But after thinking about it for at least thirty seconds, I think that Harry Reid can easily fill all ten slots all by himself. Without Las Vegas, there aren’t enough dimwits in the whole rest of the country to elect this lying, stinking piece of shit.
Jeez…And I thought Daschle was about as low as you could get. Compared to Puff Daschle, Harry Reid is Jaques Cousteau.
TW: position – as in Left Behinds is assuming the position…
Um. No comment.
TW = came. Fucking NSA.
“Don’t trust Machi Isono!”
TW – being That is freakin’ eerie.
Oh yeah? I see your Rodney and raise you one Mason Reese.
Borgasmord my everloving *ss.
tw: little bastards…
What about Paris Hilton as embodying the worst of America today: the shallowness, the materialism, the ontological emptiness. She’d be a mildly entertaining pop hiccup if it weren’t for the fact that millions of kids actually emulate her. That makes her an evildoer.
Uh, it also wouldn’t have been possible without The Manhattan Project. What gets them off the hook?
Uh, it also wouldn’t have been possible without The Manhattan Project. What gets them off the hook?
A: FDR; he was worried about the Nazi’s failed atomic program. Rosenfeld lied, Japs Fried!
Left Behinds – let’s ignore for a moment what the Venona Decrypts revealed about the complcity of the Rosenbergs, and what is generally now accepted to be true about Fuchs and others:
you do see a difference between developing an atomic weapon for FDR in wartime, especially given the fact that the Axis Powers were hard at work on their own versions, and actively passing information to Stalin that would allow him to have nuclear weapons?
Of course I see the difference. And yes I agree that the Rosenbergs were disgraces, etc.(not to mention a big embarrassment for their lefty defenders of that generation, which thankfully I am not). I just am not sure that even under those circumstances the Manhattan Project was ethically justified, considering the long term consequences.
I can respect your point of view, Left Behinds, but I continue to believe it would have been ethically unjustified not to pursue a workable atomic device, given the circumstances.
Re: “I just am not sure that even under those circumstances the Manhattan Project was ethically justified… ”
Left Behinds needs to take a long deep read from Paul Fussell’s article Thank God For Atom The Bomb”. If you don’t rethink your position after reading his piece, well, you’re just not thinking.
With John “Duke” Wayne being one of, if not the greatest American ever, the list of worst Americans must include, by association, the poncy hairdresser that talked Rooster Cogburn into wearing a combed-out badger pelt on his head.
That was just bad for the country and it made us look weak in the eyes of world.
Fuckin’ hairdressers.