Her: “So, would you like to maybe come inside for some coffee or a glass of wine or something?”
Him: “Well, only if what you really mean is that we’ll be bumpin’ uglies inside a half hour. Otherwise, I’d just as soon try to make it home in time for SportsCenter.”
snort
Finally! Yin and Yang, the Prequel.
TW = “coming” – give it a rest, Goldstein. . .
Weird that you hear so much about the late lamented ”Scoop Jackson” Democrats, when Scoop himself is announcing currently at ESPN.
What happened? I mean, is ESPN solidly anti-communist?
Does this explain coverage of the Senators-Red Wings games?
Where does it end, people?!
Where is George Clooney, and is he a Kings fan!?
I want answers!
Where the heck did you get “bumpin’ uglies”? When you reduce that locution to its essence, it promotes the rather Victorian idea that there’s something ugly about human genitalia. Which, everything’s in the eye of the beholder, but I once almost dumped a guy for suggesting that genitalia (male and female, he asserted) are ugly.
Wow. t/w = parts
Hmmm.
Ok. Let’s change that to “beast with two backs” then for the traditional flavor.
Link
Exactly, Atilla. Although not everything is in the eye of the beholder is it?
Otherwise, I, as recipient of any utterance, artistict work, or “beholder,” according to your apophthegm, could interpret it in any way I saw fit, true?
So, I could reasonably say your last post was “sexist”
..and, as (politically) the burden of proof is on you…
..what is your defense?
It’s moral equivocation: “Doing the nasty”, anyone?
Dave:
Ah. But in the case of “doin’ the nasty,” only the act is nasty: not the body parts engaged therein. Also, one could reasonably suppose that the word “nasty” meant the good kind of nasty, as in, intensely sexy.
Marcell:
But I’m NOT a sexist. I’m not a SEXIST. Not, not, not! My imaginary friend Binky is a sexist. A bad sexist who’s also a SEXIST!
Okay. You’ve got me. I’m a sexist.
Ed:
I recognized the phrase, and its origins. It struck me, the first time I read that play . . .
Attila, who cares, really, as long as your posts keep including the words “nasty”, body parts” and “intensely,”
..really, who am I to complain?
TW: Easy as a Sunday morning.
Do not emanate into the penumbra. Use a condom.
Safe sex saves lives, y’know.
Oh, and “in the eye of the beholder”? That’s not only unsafe, it’s downright clumsy.
I’ve always liked the Colonial era term “roguering.”
I Googled for an example of usage, but this is all I could find. I don’t think it’s what William Byrd of 1700’s Virginia told his diary he did to the servants and wife, but I know it’s NOT WORK SAFE.
I usually say “squirting semen into your vagina”. Is “bumping uglies” more romantic?
For pure romance, why would you turn to anyone other than David St. Hubbins?
“My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo,
I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo”
Talk about mud-flaps.
You want some other terms? From Sex-Lexis:
tail-job, sticking it in and pulling it out, squashing the meat, turn, up the brown, sacrifice to Venus, horizontal jitterbug, horizontal hula, in the brown, loose coat game, a bit of butt, a bit of cuddle, belly ride, bit of cuddle, bit of bouncy-bouncy, bit of butt, bit of fun, dirt roading, do what newlyweds do, get the leg over, go through, going down the Hershey highway, going up the mustard road, give one a jump, give one a past, go rump-splitting, going up the Hershey Bar road, grafting, gut reaming, hailing, hamming, hard breathing, hard-assed love, have a bit of bum, give her a past, give someone the business, Donald, driving Miss Daisy, driving the pink love bus into tuna town, dunking the love muscle, exchange DNA, fishing for brown trout, do the ugly-bumpy, flop, foining, front door work, foot, get one’s ashes hauled, get one’s balls off, deed of kind, deed of pleasure, dinky tickle, do a back fall, dive into the sky, diving in the sky, dipping the wick, do a perpendicular, do me nasty, do miracles, corking, couch rugby, coupling, courtesy fuck, Credo of the Jesuit, cruising the Hershey highway, cranberry dip, craphole fuck, dance the blanket hornpipe, delivering to dirtbox drive, dick dip, bull session, cockstupration, Colonel Puck, colonial puck, bit of nifty, bit of tail, blow off the loose corns, bit of flat, batter the sausage, bayonet drill, bouncy-bouncy, bouncing, buggering, bunk-up, burgle, burlap, a bit of flat, a bit of cauliflower, a little one-on-one, a poke through the whiskers, a poke in the whiskers, a squeeze and a squirt, back-door boogie, balling the jack, bam bam, BBQ’N, beef injection, low Greek, lay down, let’s play 52 pick-up, lift the heels, make babies, meat injection, mix your peanut butter, merry bout, multiply and be fruitful, nubbing, nugging, pickleville, pack fudge, packin’ mud, penization, phallactory act, open one’s legs, plowing (the back forty), plugging, pocket the red, poking, porking de ho, poultice of warm guts, jiggling, hosing, hot beef injection, in copulo, jolly ride, joy ride, kicking the back door in, knob-jockery, labor leather, lay the log, hot meat injection, hot roll with cream, hot tailing, huddle, high Greek, have a bit of tail, sexual intimacy, shaking, shoot in the tail, shift-work, shoot at the back door, sing the sailor songbook, sinking the battleship, skin the cat, skin the pizzle, skroging, snizzling, slamming, slip-sliding away, smock service, push-push, pushpin, putting Percy to bed, pumping, ride a rantipole, ride rantipole, riding the baloney pony, riding the nag, rites of love, rites of spring, rites of Venus, rocky roading, rubadub, sex act, sexual act, sexual analism, sexual communion, twatting, up the shitter, uts, taking an albino piss, talk, target practice, third way, thread, tiffing, tonking, trolley and truck, trounce, stern approach, swinging the ax, swyve, splitting the hamster, western lay, venture, venereal act, wingding, wallow, warm one’s bed, worship at the back altar, wriggle navels, slippin’ and slidin’, tummy-tickling, taking a ride, thelysodomy, tap, up the bosco boulevard, up the ying-yang, twist a leg, ultimate favor, the, ugly deed, the, rump-splitting, sail into the wind, rubbing bacons, rubbing uglies, rub groins together, lay somebody, rub offal, rolling about, ring around the rosey, ride the hobby horse, rattle, redneck foreplay, quimming, quelch, splat your fat, slapping skins, shtoop, Sin of Sodom, shaking the sheets, sexually explicit, shag like a rattlesnake, scrumping, have a blow through, have a ride, have a roll in the hay, have relations, have it off, have it off with, have a cut off the joint, have a shag, have a slice off the joint, have a tumble, hobble, have sex, have sexual relations, having a bit, humpin’ and bumpin’, huntch, horizontal folk-dancing, hitchhiker on the Hershey Highway, hitting skins, get on top of, horizontal bop, knock it off, juggle, jump up and down, hot dogging, horizontal dancing, horizontal jogging, interior sledging, jiggy-jig, jingle-jangle, jobbing, jazz-fiddle, jig-a-jig, jig-jig, jiggady-jig, jigga-jig, pound someone’s ass, pound the ass, pound the butt, pound the cheeks, pop-a-chop, play night baseball, play the national indoor game, play mothers and fathers, old one-two, the, nether work, myrtle, mating, making bacon, making it, love work, lock in key, bandicooting, asshole fucking, arenokoites, act of androgynation, anal-rape fantasy, anophelophobia, a little o the one with tother, act of love, act of pleasure, a bit of it, buggershy, bugger-arsed, brown eye pie, bounce (in bed), bread buttered on both sides, bring someone off, baby-making love, box boy, boning, bellying, black bagging, blessing, coitus in the anus, coitus innuptus, coitus profundus, coitus sordidus, coitus usitatus, coitus vadosus, coitus virgineus, coitus variatus, coitus venenatus, coitus vetitus, coital, coitus acceptus, coitus bacchicus, coitus diurnus, coitus delicatus, coitus fecundus, coitus legitimus, coitus maritus, coitus miscegenatus, coitus nocturnus, butt balling, chocolate cha cha, chocolate chimney sweep, buttplay, chafer, bulling, butt-fucking, camel night, cut a slice of the joint, cutting a slice, copulative, copping, do slippery belly, do the agreeable, do a line with, get down with, get mud for your turtle, get off the gun, get off with, get ones leg over, get one’s leg across, get down to business, get a piece of ass, get hilt and hair, do what comes naturally, fizzing, flesh session, flimp, forking, fuck someone’s brains out, fuck wise, fudge packing, enjoy a roll in the hay, federating, enjoy, do the rump-shaker, do the big nasty, do the deed, do the grown-up thing, do the do, getting skins, getting some skin, getting your leg-over, get some tail, get wild, getting bent, getting ones end away, getting laid, get one leg over, get ones end away, get ones jollies, get some area, get some big leg, get some goose, get some leg, get some nookie, grinding, gombo, go for a horizontal jog, give a thrill, give one a screwing, give one a shot, go to town, go to work with, bit of cauliflower, boogie, brown eye, rifle, ramming, ram the dam, ram your rod, riding the elephant trunk of joy, rip off a quick piece, rip her guts down, regular trick, reeling in the fish, relations, ride the spike, ride the wild pony, ride up the dirt road, quim-wedging, quim-sticking, ram job, push on, push in the truck, put and take, put four corners on the spit, put it to, put it into, put it in, put the blocks to, put the boots to, put the boots, putting on the pot, Roman engagement, romping, roust, road less traveled, rocking chair, rub leather, rumble, rummage, rumbusticate, rump-shaker, score between the posts, score with, scrapping, screw one’s head off, screw the ass off, screw the arse off, rumple foreskin, rumpo, Russian duck, ryde, sexual commerce, sexual concourse, sexual conjunction, sexual embrace, sexual liaison, sexual knowledge, secret services, see the King, seeing-to, service, sexual relief, sexual union, saddle it, shaft in the bum, shag your lugs off, share a pillow with, share a sexual embrace, sheath the sword to the hilt, sheltering under the pink umbrella, sink the brown, sink the pink, sink the sailor, sink the sausage, sink the soldier, sinking the sausage, shoot downstairs, shoot in the back, shit stabbing, shit the plug, shoot in the brown, shoot the plug, shoot up the straight, shoot the star, shot at the front door, shot at the back door, a, shoving the beaver with the lever, skin the live rabbit, sinking the pork sword, sinking the sub, siphnianize, sitting on it, skewer, skeeze, slice the legs off, slick and slim up the old dusty road, slip her a length, slip it to, slip one a hot beef injection, slip in, slam, slam spunk, split someone’s buns, split some buns, smucking, slip it to her, slip someone a length, slap skins, slap ‘n tickle, sodomant, sodomante, sodomize, sotadism, soul roll, spear the bearded clam, spend the night with, spinach queen, unite, unnatural connection, unnatural sexual intercourse,
unnatural debauchery, up-tails-all, up the apple-maker, up her way, up in you, ugly, up the bum, turn up one’s tail, twang, twat raking, up the old dirt road, up to your apricots in kipperland, up to the bumper, up to your nuts in guts, up to the hilt, uphill gardener, upright, up the dirt road, up the chocolate highway, up the mustard road, vaginate, vagination, vagino-phallic interaction, tar brush, tampered with, tender agony, test the mattress, tether one’s nag, thrill and chill, throw a buttonhole on, throw one a hump, throwing the pork, thrust, tick-tack, tie the lover’s knot, tie the true lover’s knot, trot out one’s pussy, Turkish culture, trouser serpent in the grass, tooling, tool it, touch the toes, trip to the moon, trip down the mine shaft, tilting, tillage, tip the long one, tail one’s guts out, squeeze and a squirt, a, stab, stab in the thigh, stable-my-naggie, stand a push, sport of Venus, sport of the masses, spot hard breathing, a, spread one’s ass, spread one’s cheeks, spreading the folds, spunk dump, square (someone’s) circle, stir shit, stir chocolate, stir a little fudge, stir fudge, stir someone’s chocolate, stir someone’s fudge, stir someone’s shit, stitch, straight lay, straight shot, stretch leather, stretch some jeans, stub your chub, study astronomy, sweep out the chimney, sweet death, sweet agony, tail wagging, tail work, take a roll with, take a trip around the parsley patch, take a turn in Cock Alley, take a turn in Cock Lane, take a turn in Cupid’s Alley, take a turn in Bushy Park, take a turn in Cupid’s Corner, take a turn in the barrel, take a turn on Love Lane, take a turn in the bush, take a turn on Shooters Hill, take a turn on Mount Pleasant, take a turn in the stubble, take a turn in the hay, take a turn on the aphrodisiacal tennis court, take a turn through the stubble, take in beef, take it, take in and do for, take it from behind, take it up the ass, take it out in trade, take Nebuchadnezzar out to grass, take someone to bed, take the sheet, take the Hershey highway, take the starch out of, take to bed, taking her temperature with a meat thermometer, look at the ceiling, lose the last round, lose the match and pocket the stakes, lovins, make a statement in tail, light the lamp, limit, ling grappling, little game of hide-the-sausage, a, lob it, lob it up, lie feet uppermost, lie with, lay off with, lay out, marital rights, marital duty, marriage joys, match ends, match with, mattress jig, mattress dancing, meddle, make it with, make love with, make piggies, make someone, make the scene, making a hit, making a deposit, making a dogs match of it, mysteries of love, mysteries of Venus, nail two bellies together, naked sin, national indoor game, national indoor sport, naughties, the, nature’s duty, naughty but nice, it’s, naval engagement, navy style, mump, mingle with, mish, moon shot, morner, muddle, nick-nacking, nig, niggle, night physic, ninety-nine, nobble, non-orthogenic sex, old slap and tickle, one with the other, open up the ass, nuptial rights, nurtle, old ball game, old in and out, the, old in-out, the, play leapfrog, open up someone’s ass, other, the, phallate, phallate per rectum, phallating, phallation, phutz, phutzing, penoanal intercourse, penovaginal intercourse, personal relations, paint the bucket, parallel parking, part cheeks, part someone’s cheeks, penisize, pickle-me-tickle-me, pickle tickle, piece of flesh, pig sticking, pile, pile driving, plaster of warm guts, play at Adam and Eve, play at all fours, play at fathers and mothers, play at itch-buttocks, play at cock in cover, play at stallions and mares, play at up-tails-all, play belly-to-belly, play bouncy-bouncy, play dump truck, play hide the hamster, play hide the sausage, play hide the salami, play hide the weenie, play in and out, play in the hay, play mummies and daddies, play the trombone, play the two-back game, playing twenty toes, plonk, ploughing the furrow, plough the back forty, play pickle-me-tickle-me, play one’s ace, play one’s ace of spade and receive the jack, play rub-belly, play the first game ever played, poke a stroke, poke in the whiskers, poke through the whiskers, plumb (her depths), pluke, pluck and trim, popping it in the toaster nut, porking, pot of brown, a, poking the pork, poking the fire, poking the bearded triangle, pom-pom, poo jabbing, pop it in, prang, press the flesh, prick-scouring, pudendal intercourse, pudendal pleasures, pudendal symphony, in the hay, in the kip, in to the hilt, intercourse per anum, Joe Buck, jog, join dissimilars, join paunches, joining faces, join giblets, interior decorating, intimate relations, introduce the captain, introduce the captain to his pie, Irish whist, Irish way, irrigate, Italian fashion, Italian culture, Italian way, janney, horizontal rumble, hormone fix, horry, in-out, jump in the sack, keester-stab, keister-stab, kick it with, juke, jounce, jolt, knock it out, knot with, know someone in the Biblical sense, knick-knacking, knocking the bottom out of, knob it, lay the track, lay your cane in a dusty corner, lay tube, layed, lay with the moon, leap in the dark, leg business, leg sliding, leg over, let’s Adam-and-Eve it, ladles’ tailoring, lady feast, laps around the track, last act, last favor, last compliment, last liberties, hive it, horizontal exercise, in-and-in, in-and-out jig, in coitu, having sex, he-ing and she-ing, Hershey highwayman, hide the wienie, have sexual relations with, have someone away, have the banana peeled, have union with, hop into the horses collar, hop into bed with, hop in the saddle, hop on a babe, hit skins, hitch to the wrong side of the post, hit the kitten, hit the sack with, have a turn on one’s back, have carnal knowledge of, have coition, have coitus with, have carnal knowledge, have fun, have fun with, have hot pudding for supper, have intimate relations with, have it away with, have a cuddle, have a dash in the bloomers, have a double shot, have a good time (with), have a good time, have a fuck, have a hot roll with cream, have a jump with, have a live sausage for supper, have a naughty, have a nibble, have a poke, have a rattle, have a piece of ass, have one’s banana peeled, have one’s cut, have one’s foul way with, have one’s oats, have one’s will with, have personal relations with, have relations with, have sex with, have a screw, have a brush with the cue, have a bit of the creamstick, broad-jumping, break a peter on, break a lance with, boring a bud, bottle merchant, bottom surgeon, box step, boy-scout queen, brownie queen, buckwilding, buckwild, buggerling, bury the bishop, bury face upwards, bury it, bury the bone, bury one’s ring, bury the hatchet where it won’t rust, bury the bone in the backyard, butt banging, butt bang, bit of hard for a bit of soft, bit of nobble, bit of nookey, bit of quimsy, bit of ring, bit of snug, bit of snug for a bit of stiff, block, bit of the old in and out, bit of the other, boffing, boinking, bold thing, the, bone dance, bone in the bum, bone the bum, bend some ham, bend someone over, best and plenty of it, the, big F, the, big time, biological event, bit of brown, BB, belly slapping, belly warmer, bit of fork, bit of front door work, a bit of nobble, a bit of nifty, a bit of nookey, a bit of ring, a bit of snug, a bit of hard for a bit of soft, a bit of snug for a bit of stiff, a bit of the old in and out, 99, a bit of bouncy-bouncy, a bit of brown, a bit of fork, a bit of front door work, a bit of fun, active sodomist, adamize, agonorgasmos, anal copulator, anal dance, anal delight, anal job, anal lovemaking, a bit of the other, a capella, a dash up the channel, a straight shot, a piece of flesh, anus queen, androsodomy, act of generation, act of kind, ace fuck, ask for the ring, ass-fucking, ass goblin, assault with a friendly weapon, back jump, backgammoner, bag of coke, bake potatoes, balaclava, bald journey, asshole plugging, balls eye, baloney colonic, bang away, bang like a shithouse door
(in a gale), bang like a shithouse door in the wind, banging fudge, Barrer Moke, behind door work, belly-bump, belly-bumping, be with a woman, bear play, bed sports, bedtime story, bedwork, do a bit (of beef), do a bottom-wetter, do a dive in the dark, do a flop, do a dogs rig, do a kindness, do a grind, dinner mashing, dip in the fudge pot, dip one’s bill, dip the fly, dehorn, discourse, do somebody, do some good for yourself, do one’s kind, do one’s office, do a nifty, do a push, do a spread, do a stern job, do a tumble, do a woman’s job for her, do a rudeness, do an inside worry, do it the Greek way, copulating, copulatory, copula fornicatoria, copula carnalis, corking the onion, couple with, cucumber rhumba, cuddle-my-cuddle, cunnotage, Cupid’s archery, cure the horn, crack the belly, cram, dance the beginning of the world, dance on the mattress, dance the buttocks jig, cut a side, cut off the joint, crawl, dick someone, dicky dunk, dig in the wiskers, dig out, dance the goat’s jig, dance the married man’s cotillion, dance the matrimonial polka, dance the mattress jig, dash in the bloomers, carnal connection, carnal knowledge, carnival knowledge, carry-me-down, catch an oyster, cattle truck, cavault, butt play, butter and eggs, butthole surfing, butthole raper, buttock climber, buttonhole work, bumholerous fuckerous, bumming, bump bellies, bump bones, bump nasties, chamber games, chamber combat, chauvering, chemise cagoule, buzz the brillo, Cadburys canal cruiser, californicate, christen the yak, chuck a tread, cinnamon stick, butt-fuck buddy, code brown, coitus per rectum, coitus pluvius, coitus in ano, coitus analis, coitus adulterinus, coition, coiture, coitus àcheval, coitus siccus, coitus sodomus, coitus in the rectum, colpectasia, colpochoresis, come over, commerce, conjugal act, conjugal embrace, conjugals, converse, cool out, go tummy tickling, go twat-faking, go tromboning, go vaulting, go up the dirt road, goat’s jig, going down the dirt road, going up the dirt road, going up the ass, going up the chute, going halvsies on an orgasm, go to it, give one a tumble, give one a stab, give hard for soft, give her a thrill, give some body, give soft for hard, go in and out like a fiddlers elbow, go like a belt-fed motor, go leather-stretching, go pile-driving, go prick-scouring, go quim-sticking, go rumping, go stargazing, go to bed with, goose and duck, grabbing some snatch, going up the old dirt road, gratify someone’s desires, grease the wheel, greasing the pole, Greekling, grind it, grind one’s tool, hanging at the Y, half-and-halfer, half-virgin, have a bit of cock, have a bit of gutstick, have a bit of jam, have a bit of meat, have a bit of mutton, have a bit of rough, have a bit of navy cake, have a bit of skirt, have a bit of pork, have a bit of split mutton, have a bit of stuff, have a bit of sugar stick, have a banana with, have a bang, have a beef injection, have a bit of fluff, have a bit of crumpet, have a bit, have a bit of cunt, get some round eye, get some quim, get some slickem on your hangdown, get some soft leg, get someone into the cot, get some mud for the duck, get some cold cock, get some cock, get some cunt, get some ass, get some brown (sugar), get one’s kettle mended, get ones leg lifted, get one’s end wet, get one’s nuts cracked, get one’s end in, getting plugged, getting run, get your end away, get your end wet, get your poker wet, getting a piece, getting it on, get stuffed, get stabbed in the thigh, get the sugar stick, get to it, get to home plate, get together with, get up (the pole), get up the yard, gift of one’s body, give a bit of hard for a bit of soft, give a bit of snug for a bit of stiff, give a hole to hide in, give a shot of leg, give her a bit of the other, give her a length, give her a shot, give her one, give him one, give one a bone, give one a frigging, give mutton for beef, give standing room for one only, give the dog a bone, give the ferret a run, give the old man his supper, give up one’s treasure, give way, glazing the donut, go at it, go ballocking, go beard-splitting, go bed-pressing, go bird’s nesting, go belly-thumping, go bush-ranging, go bum-working, go buttocking, go bum-tickling, go cock-fighting, go cunny-catching, go doddling, go doodling, go facemaking, go fleshing it, do the divine work of fatherhood, do the filth, do the horizontal tummy bump, do the horizontal mambo, do the natural thing, do the nasty, do the naughty, do the pussy, do the thing, do the story with, do the tube-snake boogey, do the ugly (deed), do the wild thing, doggy-dancing, doing a perpendicular, doing the thang, engage in three to one (and bound to lose), enjoy a man, enjoy a plaster of warm guts, Dutch treat, ease, edeapsis, engage in marriage joys, drop one’s drawers, dry bob, dunk the dingus, dunk the love-muscle, dunking, double fire, double payment, drilling for marmite, drive into it, drive it home, drive it to home base, feed the bearded clam, feed the beaver, feed the dumb glutton, feed the clam, feed the cat, feed the dummy, feed the monkey, feed the pussy, feeding the bearded clam, fettle, fickey fick, fidget the midget in Bridget, file in the wrong box, filling the box, filling the juicebox, first game ever played, enjoy a woman, enjoy favors, entertain, entertaining royalty, erotic congress, every night about this time, exchange flesh, fishing for kippers, fish supper, fit ends, fix her plumbing, exchange bodily fluids, exercise one’s marital rights, F-ing, fall backward, fall to it, fulke, fun and games, furgle, futuere, futter, get a bellyful of marrow, get a crumpet, get a bellyful of pudding, get a go at the creamstick, get a leg over, fuckle, fug, four-legged frolic, frail job, frat, fratting, folk-dancing, fluff the duff, fruit that made man wise, the, fuck buttock, fuck by the book, fuck in the ass, fuck in the brown, fuck-nutty, fuck one’s brains out, get home, get hulled between wind and water, get into bed with, get into the pants of, get it off with, get Jack in the orchard, get layed, get a shot of leg, get a shove in one’s blind eye, get about her, get between the sheets with, get at it, get buckwild, get down to it, fore and aft, get one’s nuts off, get one’s oats, get shot in the tail, get rigged, get some, get sloppy, get some action, get on, get going, get one’s banana peeled, yentz, zig-zig, zinzanbruck, zorber, wear the kilt, work up, Venerean mirth, wet the worm, wetting the willy, whack it up, what mother did before me, what Eve did with Adam, whitewash your guts, wienering, wild ride on the baloney pony, wind up the clock
thank you…thank you very much.
Slow down,I’m still writing.
What was after “drilling for marmite”?
This is what Tivo is for: so you can record the action, watch it at a time that’s most convenient for you, fast-forward through the boring parts, and clip out the commercial interruptions.
Or you could record SportsCenter instead; either way, really.
Anyone remember Butterbeans and Susie’s “I Want a Hot Dog for My Roll”?
Partial lyrics here.
These excerpts are from memory:
My friend used to say this was an example of single entendre.
Nah. She was just really, really hungry for a good hot dog.
Get your mind outta the gutter.
Signing up for Medicare next year;–to old to comment on ugly bumping…..
Get back to politics and foreign policy willya Goldstein?
That was great. I have to make it home in time for Sex & The City so our schedules are about the same….
Hmmmm.
Ok after all this I now have to go wash out my eyeballs.
“Well, only if what you really mean is that we’ll be bumpin’ uglies inside a half hour.
How crude.
Personally, asking to swap crotch gravy is much more delicate and refined.
Okay, delicate if you’re talking to Courtney Love.
Ugh, talk about nasty gravy.
John
You forgot “Getting mud on the turtle”
John’s just trying to perk up his Google stock.
I agree with some of the other posters here; “bumpin’ uglies” sounds a bit crude.
I prefer the much more elegant “making with the humpy-humpy.”
Some of the best from the Bloodhound Gang.
BLOODHOUND GANG LYRICS
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet
Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket
Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker
Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter
If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so pathetically
I don’t wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple
If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so pathetically
I don’t wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where pronto
Hi, Mom.
Yes, this is sometimes where I go when I’m on the internet.
Yes, the wife and kid are fine.
And yes I told you that there’s lots of smart people on the internet discussing history and policies and art and literature. That’s why I got you the computer.
So I lied.
Anyway bye,
SMG
Never mind what I’m doing here, what are you doing here? Been worried about you ever since Dad died.
I was disappointed to find that John repeated a couple of phrases.
Hmmm.
One good thing out of all this. This page is going to show up on all of the sex oriented google searches.
lol.
Won’t they be disappointed!
Well, now we know that armadillo is gonna be way too hot and bothered to show up now.
Good job, guys.
What’s wrong with a little bit of “Snugglebunnies”?
Snap out of it, ya herd o’ gutterbrains. Hands of an angry God, people, hands of an angry God!
Reminds me of the internet joke about dating and the difference between men and women making the rounds several years ago. The end has the woman on the phone with her friends dissecting every word spoken, body language, and nuance in the conversation that evening. The man goes home and watched two Czechs he’s never heard of play tennis.
Oh, is that what they’re calling it these days?
Apparently, today, everything other than penis.
Attila Girl- don’t break up with me, but I have to say I really do think male and female genitalia are ugly. That’s the beauty of them. They are ugly and yet…so attractive.
Wow. Nasty thread. (In the good way.)
BTW, I have a meta-comment for the regulars: it’s less ambiguous to call me Attila Girl, because simply using Attila leads other readers to get me mixed up with Attila of Pillage Idiot, my blog-cousin on the East Coast. Or: AG for Attila Girl, or LMA for Little Miss Attila (my formal name). Or even Joy, though that might make it harder for the casual reader to follow the thread.
I like the dirtiness of that old song, Attila, but if you listen carefully, you realize that the narrator is actually declining oral sex from her man. So, um, there is a certain lack of verisimilitude.
I always liked Joan Jett’s “But you’re only ahead below the belt…” from “Just Lust”. So bad, in so many ways.
Not wanting to get “dumped” or anything, but from a *purely aesthetic* perspective, probably 50% or more of both male and female genitalia are something less than attractive IMO. Some (especially male) are downright hideous, I’m sorry to say.
I don’t know about you, but it’s not purely aesthetic appeal that draws my eyes like magnets to a steel bar. It’s something a little more fundamental. Something from further back in the brainstem that puts the elements together and drives the eyes around the curves and lines that lead from up there just behind…down past around…and over to…detouring a little…finally up to…there!
All roads lead to Rome, they say. And Rome is a glory to behold! But I’m not sure it’s the architecture that makes it so.
Oh, you mean it’s like mid-century cultural relics: so bad, they’re good.
Genitals = advertisements, clothing and household knicknacks from the 50s/60s/70s. Sea blue accented with lime green. Orange shag carpeting. Large glass “grapes” on the coffee table. Wet bars trimmed in bamboo, displaying little tiki idols.
I can live with that.
Wassamatter with saying Fuck? It’s just a word…and sort of cuts right to the chase.
You know you can get special shampoo to get the tiki dolls out of your orange shag carpeting.
Got’em off my bamboo wet bar with lye soap and nail polish remover.
With such a dynamic field, Quantitative Finance…