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Trigger alert: “I’ve already seen the bulge …” [Darleen Click]

Oh.The.Humanity!

There’s a mantra quickly repeating in my head: “Please have a badge. Please have a badge. Please have a badge.” It’s a steady heartbeat as I begin a conversation with a shop clerk and reposition myself so I can peer over her shoulder.

I’ve already seen the bulge in his jacket, and it’s clear from the size and shape that he has a holstered gun. Now my eyes are quickly scanning, hoping to find a law enforcement badge clipped to his belt. […]

I do not know this man, have no knowledge of his profession, personality or character. I am unaware of his mental state, of why he feels the need to carry a weapon into a bookstore. Frankly, I’m not that interested in his reasons right now. My mind is too busy filtering through the various scenarios that could be taking place. They flick before me like movie trailers, and I watch, casting some aside and mentally marking others for further consideration. […]

I still don’t know him, and the movie trailers increase. He could be the stalker, searching for his mark. He could be contemplating a robbery, or seeking someone to abduct. He could be an off-duty police officer, or even one that is undercover. He could be paranoid, thinking the world is out to get him or knowing someone truly is. He could be a fugitive, a drug dealer, a rapist or the owner of a sporting goods store. He could be a million things.

Thanking the clerk, I walk toward the YA section and my children. We won’t be spending money in this store today. We will be leaving as quickly as I can get them through the door, away from the man.

Although he is unknown to me, I do know Iowa’s lackluster gun laws and that they offer no assurances.

Poor dear. I hope she went home to lay down on the couch, have a cold compress placed ever-so-gently on her forehead and a cup of certified organic green tea to sip and sooth away her soft weeping.

And I hope she stays there.

26 Replies to “Trigger alert: “I’ve already seen the bulge …” [Darleen Click]”

  1. sdferr says:

    Here’s hoping she never catches a glimpse of a chef with a 16″ knife in his hand.

  2. McGehee says:

    She thinks a tough gun law would have offered assurances? The only assurance would have been, “Since law-abiding people aren’t allowed guns here, this is DEFINITELY a bad guy.”

    Sometimes uncertainty is preferable.

  3. McGehee says:

    Besides, it might have been a phablet.

  4. Shermlaw says:

    For too long, Americans became accustomed to not seeing weapons in public carried by law abiding citizens. The pendulum is swinging the other way, but it will take time for the hyperventilating-prone populace to catch up.

  5. Squid says:

    Her follow-up article is equally snort-worthy. “People from both sides are making fun of me. I must be a centrist!”

  6. Darleen says:

    Shermlaw

    I grew up watching westerns on tv … every cowboy with a revolver holstered on his hip and every kid wanting a cap gun.

  7. LBascom says:

    Dear Ms. Waddington, I find your exercise of the 1st amendment more scary than your nervousness over some random guy’s exercise of the 2nd. His gun was holstered, and was more likely to be used for good than evil.

    Your propaganda is evil poison in our free(becoming less free thanks to people like you) society.

    If it makes you feel better, any man any where can probably kill you with his bare hands whenever he wants, no gun needed.

    I hope that helps.

  8. Sigivald says:

    Here’s hoping she never catches a glimpse of a chef with a 16? knife in his hand.

    Agreed, because that’d mean she’d fallen into a terrible parallel universe where they make chef’s knives that long!

    12″ is already too big for pretty much everything, let alone 16″.

  9. Darleen says:

    Sigivald

    it’s not size that matters …

  10. bgbear says:

    Someone who robs book stores. Quite the intellectual criminal.

  11. sdferr says:

    I’ve got a stainless Sabatier steaking knife downstairs in a drawer that’s every bit of 19″ long, for what that’s worth. Though I note, I didn’t say chef’s knife.

  12. LBascom says:

    That’s not a chefs knife…this is a chefs knife!

  13. Leaving illegal aliens aside [and ‘in the shadows’] for the moment: too many people, like this dingbat, who reside within the borders of The United States are not Americans.

  14. sunny-dee says:

    Here’s the thing — she saw a bulge. I can’t (won’t) work my way through the article, but it could have been ANYTHING — not even a gun.

    I cannot imagine being so emotionally fragile that seeing a bulge-which-could-be-a-gun would send me into such a tailspin that I had a panic attack and ran for the door. What other neuroses must she have? What else sets her off? I really, truly, honesty believe this woman is mentally ill, because that’s just not normal.

  15. sdferr says:

    Nancy Pelosi sees a bulge (of truth) in Benny Netanyahu’s coat pocket. Panic ensues.

  16. […] of the fedora to Darleen Click who has some choice comments here. [and check out the Comments section, as well — they're always worth a read at Protein […]

  17. Sadly, Sunny-Dee, I fear it has become ‘Normal’.

  18. Squid says:

    Another commenter noted the following: “I’ve already seen the bulge in his jacket, and it’s clear from the size and shape that he has a holstered gun… I’m in a local bookstore and there’s a sticker near the door asking patrons not to carry weapons on the premises.”

    What are the odds that this guy’s weapon is locked in his car, and she’s peeing her pants over an empty holster?

  19. McGehee says:

    What I want to know is, why didn’t she tackle him, shrieking, “He’s got a gun!”

  20. She was too busy shrieking inside herself.

  21. McGehee says:

    I was listening to Shrieking Inside Herself when they were just a Marilyn Manson tribute band.

  22. happyfeet says:

    these gun laws lack luster

    i shall shop elsewhere

  23. RI Red says:

    “Why your use of the 1st Amendment makes me nervous.”

  24. Jrez says:

    We.Are.Everywhere.

  25. Jrez says:

    If only we could legislate to each and every individual’s worst fear [paranoia] — then the world would be a safer place for all.

Comments are closed.