oatmeal: “The worst thing about being a Quaker? Not being able to pimpslap the toast when he rags on you for being ‘pasty’. Stupid pacifism.”
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seriously, toast sucks!
…at least there’s a little solace in those English muffins. That’s still Quaker cool, right?
Well, that may be true for your granddad’s oatmeal, but the new microwavable stuff—you gotta watch it or it just EXPLODES.
Hi Protein,
I’m sure you get asked this all the time but, do you have a brother called Norman?
BBC eh?
Love on ya,
Roberta
Yeah, but if the toast gets too black, The Man will come along and scrape his ass over the trash can…
I was bullied by oatmeal althrough my school days thus, when my shining new bride served it,I dealt with it in a mature adult manner. Calmly lifting the bowl I walked over to the garbage can under the sink and slid the terrorizing goop into the can. Oatmeal has never darkened my door again.
TW “research” most answers to daily problems can be overcome with research into the plethora of self help books. Worked for me.
Surely if oatmeal could talk, it would say – “eat me. Then you’ll have had your oats!”
Well, it always brings a smile to the boys’ faces when I say it!!
Love on ya,
Roberta
p.s. check out my ankles, if you don’t believe me…
I was told recently by a friend who served on the Quaker council in the UN that Quaker Oats have nothing to do with the Quakers. They were named for them in an attempt to cash in on the Quakers’ reputation for honesty and good business practices.
Damned lying breakfast cereals. Next Tony the Tiger’ll be telling me he isn’t Jewish.
….sorry to break it to ya, sortapundit, but he’s nnnnnnnnnnnnnnot!
Reet pow ting!!
Roberta
xxxx
Cornflakes don’t have those problems.
Via Ann Althouse—http://pajamasmedia.isfullofcrap.com/
Let me know when you sign up, Jeff, so I can grant you PM access.
-ls
With lots of brown sugar, chocolate chips, walnuts, raisins, and almonds (in a pinch), oatmeal ain’t half bad …
I cannot imagine eating a food you HAVE to add stuff to in order to make it palatable.
oatmeal
pancakes
grits
I lurve Froot Loops, though…
Just as a matter of policy
If God had actually wanted us to eat oatmeal he wouldn’t have given us Cheerios. I always considered oatmeal a tool of mothers to punish kids. And malt-o-meal is the only thing worse, so it is for kids who are so bad oatmeal just won’t do it.
I’d try to come up with something witty here, but I’m too busy fighting the good fight against my bagel’s plans for Middle East hegemony.
F’n neocon breakfast.
Oatmeal is an American hero!!!
And it’s just like you bastards to pull a stunt like this to try and make people think that oatmeal is out of touch with modern breakfast.
Let me tell you sonny, oatmeal served in breakfast in ‘nam.
I’m giving oatmeal a standing ovation right now, as a matter of fact.
I yield the balance of my time to braunschweiger.
God bless oatmeal, and may God continue to bless America.
I’m not surprised to find you digital brownshirts obsessively defending oatmeal, also known as the whitest of the meals. How ironic that oatmeal’s most salient quality is that it’s sticky and viscous, much like the intractable QUAGMIRE in Iraq you and your neoKKKon masters have MISLED the nation into. But dispite your ghoulish attempts to sweeten this mess by making Brown Blood flow like so much Aunt Jemima (obviously your favorite syrup brand, being the racist trapping of “brown sugar” in bottles shaped like a Proud African American Womyn–YOU CAN’T BOTTLE DIGNITY, FASCISTS), the stupid brainless mindless ignorant SHEEPLE won’t gobble down your slop for long, PAUL WOLFOWITZ!
WANKERS
Single-malt scotch. Breakfast of champions.
Actually, APF, Aunt Jemima only has a picture of an African-American womyn on the bottle. Mrs. Butterworth’s is the one whose bottle is shaped like a womyn.
Everything else, though, truth to power, man.
FACSIST!!!!!
Friend, I mean thee no harm, but I about to fling my blistering, calescent, viscous mass where the cotch of your dockers art presently sitting.
Roberta, I think I speak for everyone here when I say we really, really don’t want to know how you checked.
And that would have to be the world’s meanest mohel…
and also near your *crotch.*
Sean: thank you, I have trouble keeping track of the blatant EXPLOITATION of Noble Proud People Of Colors That Aren’t white And Also Womyn Who May Be white But Are People Of Color In Spirit Due To The Disgusting Machinations Of The Oppressive Racialsexist Hierarchy And Their Israeli Masters–I CAN CRITICIZE ISRAEL’S SECRET WORLD DOMINATION OF THE WORLD AND NOT BE AN “ANTISEMITE” YOU BLOOD-DRINKING BABY EATERS–especially since I refuse to abide by the cynical capitalist-driven propaganda that I need to “sweeten” my meals in order to enjoy them, propaganda which only serves to keep the ignorant stupid moronic sheeple masses in an insulin-induced coma so they won’t notice the Haliburton-sponsored pilfering of their country. I’LL TAKE MY WHOLE GRAIN BEAN PASTE GRUEL PLAIN, JOHN ASHCROFT!
WANKERS OF THE WEEK
Jeff,
You have more fake trolls on your web site than most people have real trolls.
I don’t know what that means, but it must mean something.
The link whore’s thighs are up if any of you link cruisers fancy a peek.
Love on ya,
Roberta
xxx