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Did you forget what day it is, Jeff?

Of course not.  But it just seems cruel to ask a gravy-drenched armadillo to dance after watching him cram a leftover drumstick, half a corn casserole, and over a pound of oyster and sausage stuffing into his tiny maw.

Besides, right now he’s so bloated he couldn’t dance even if you rubbed $600 worth of Bolivia’s finest over his gums.  Like a snouted, armor-plated bowling ball with cranberry relish crusted over several of the finger holes, the poor guy is.

And anyway, it’s a holiday weekend.  Now’s the time to be nice to one another, is it not…?

31 Replies to “Did you forget what day it is, Jeff?”

  1. swimdad says:

    I’ve just finished my second rum and coke (OK.. rum and coke zero if you want to be accurate, but who says “rum and coke zero”) and I just wanted to say you are the best damned blogger in the whole damed blogosphere, or whatever it is.

    swimdad, drunk

  2. harrison says:

    I hear in Texas they eat armadillo instead of turkey for Thanksgiving.

    Is this true?

  3. swimdad says:

    I meant “damned” blogsphere, but you knew that.

    swimdad

  4. swimdad says:

    I don’t know if you were asking me or not, but I kind of doubt it.  I’m not from Texas, though.

    swimdad

  5. Well, here in Tennessee we’ll eat anything if it’s fried.

    And since he’s already stuffed…

  6. harrison says:

    Nah, general silly question.

  7. grandpa stole bets says:

    Program on the emergence of civilization.

    “14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.

    13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa.

    None from the sub-Saharan African continent. “

    Favor.

    And disfavor.

    They point out Africans’ failed attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it’s applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.

    The roots of racism are not of this earth.

    Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals.

    The North American continent had none.  Now 99% of that population is gone.

    AIDS in Africa.

    Organizational Heirarchy/Levels of positioning.

    Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:

    1. MUCK – perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as “god”

    2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management

    3. Evil/disfavored aliens – runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere

    Terrestrial management/positioning:

    4. Chinese/egyptians – this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds

    5. Romans –

    6. Mafia – the real-world 20th century interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality

    7. Jews, corporation, women, politician – Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.

    Movies foreshadowing catastrophy

    1985 James Bond View to a Kill 1989 San Francisco Loma Prieta earthquake.

    Our society gives clues to the system in place. We all have heard the saying “He has more money than god.” There is also an episode of the Simpsons where god meets Homer and says “I’m too old and rich for this.”

    This is the system on earth because this is the system everywhere.

    I don’t want to suggest the upper eschelons are evil and good is the fringe.

    But they have made it abundantly clear that doing business with evil (disfavored) won’t help people. They say only good would have the ear, since evil is struggling for survival, and therefore only the favored could help.

    The clues are there which companies are favored and which are disfavored, but they conceal it very hard because it is so crucial.

    I offer an example of historical proportions:::

    People point to Walmart and cry “anti-union”.

    Unions enable disfavored people to live satisfactorly without addressing their disfavor. This way their family’s problems are never resolved. Without the union they would have to accept the heirarchy, their own inferiority.

    Unions serve to empower.

    Walmart is anti-union because they are good. They try to help people address and resolve their problems by creating an enviornment where there are fewer hurdles. 

    Media ridicule and lawsuits are creations to reinforce people’s belief that Walmart is evil in a subsegment of the indistry dominated by the middle and lower classes.

    Low-cost disfavored Chinese labor is utilized by corporate america to maximize margins.  They all do it.  Only WalMart gets fingered because they are the ones who help, and those who seek to create confusion in the marketplace want to eliminate the vast middle class who have a real chance and instead stick with lower classes who may not work otherwise.  So they dirty him up while allowing the others to appear clean.

    The middle class is being deceived.  They are being misled into the unfavored, and subsequently will have no assistance from their purchases with corporate america.

    I believe the coining of the term “Uncle Sam” was a clue alluding to just this::Sam Walton and WalMart is one of few saviors of the peasant class.

    Amercia is a country of castoffs, rejects.  Italy sent its criminals, malcontents.

    Between the thrones, the klans and kindred, they “decided” who they didn’t want and acted, creating discontent and/or starvation.

    The u.s. is full of disfavored rejects.  It is the reason for the myriad of problems not found in European countries.  As far as the Rockafellers and other industrialists of the 19th century go, I suspect these aren’t their real names.  I suspect they were chosen to go and head this new empire.

    Royalty is the right way to organize a society.  Dictatorships and monarchies are a reflection of the antient’s hierarchical organization.

    Positions go to those who have favor with the rulers, as opposed to being elected.

    Elections bring a false sense of how the world is.  Democracy misleads people.

    Which is why the disfavored rejects were sent to the shores of America::To keep them on the wrong path.

    Jews maim the body formed in the image of “god”, and inflicted circumsision upon all other white people, as well as the evil that is Jesus Christ. 

    I think about how Jews (were used to) created homosexuality among Slavics, retribution for the Holocaust.

    Then I think of the Catholic Church and its troubles.

    What connection is here between Jews and the Catholic church???

    If it is their sinister motives that’s behind the evil that is Jesus Christ are they being used at all?

    Perhaps it is them who are pulling strings.

    Their centuries of slavery in Egypt proves their disfavor. 

    The Jew leaders decided to prey on the up-and-coming Europeans to try to fix their problems with the ruling elite, a recurring aspect of the elite’s methodology.

    Jesus Christ is a religious figure of evil.  The seperatist churches formed so they could still capture the rest of the white people, keeping them worshipping the wrong god.

    And now they do it to people of color, Latinos and Asians, after centuries of preying upon them. 

    Since Buddism doesn’t recongnize a god, the calls are never heard, and Chinese representation is instead selected by the thrones.

    Budda was the Asian’s Jesus Christ::: bad for the people.  “They came up at the same time for a reason.”

    Simpson’s foreshadowing::Helloween IV special, Flanders is Satan. “Last one you ever suspect.”

    “You’ll see lots of nuns where you’re going:::hell!!!” St. Wigham, Helloween VI, missionary work, destroying cultures.

    Over and over, the Simpsons was a source of education and enlightenment, a target of ridicule by the system which wishes to conceal its secrets.

    I believe Islam is the one true religion, and those misled christians who attack “god“‘s most favored people will pay dearly one day.

  8. Grandpa:

    Dude.  What the fuck???

  9. swimdad says:

    grandpa, I have no idea what you’re talking about.  Of course, I have had a couple of rum and coke zeros.

    swimdad

  10. harrison says:

    Re: grandpa

    The same thing showed up at Sobekpundit.

    There’s nothing like thinking in circles.

  11. Noah D says:

    Can I get a job in mid-level alien management?

    SW ‘great’; I hear the benefits are.

  12. Drumwaster says:

    I think it’s more like ‘grandpa stole meds’… oh oh

    SW: What on earth

  13. Tom M says:

    $600.00 worth? Is that like, I don’t know, a baby spoon nowadays?

    And grandpa: Are you a professional thread-killer, or what?

    Happy day after thanksgiving to Jeff and the plated one.

    Tom M

    tw: metHail fellow! And well…

  14. swimdad says:

    And grandpa: Are you a professional thread-killer, or what?

    Don’t be too hard on grandpa.  I think I got it off to a pretty bad start, anyhoo.

    swimdad

  15. richard mcenroe says:

    Jeff — You could just set the little guy in his back, set him to spinning, and tell us he’s break-dancing…

  16. Tom M says:

    Eh, if you say so, but wow. grandpa’s done dropped a whopper and stunk up the place rather badly.

    tw: passed – yeah, that’s what I’m talking ‘bout.

  17. leelu says:

    It seems that Gramps missed the last VW microibus out of the 60’s.

    Else, he’s suffering from one of those flashbacks they promised us.

    TW: medical, as in, “It’s probably the result of some undiagnosed medical condition.”

  18. Robert says:

    Isn’t “China White” heroin?  And if you put heroin in someone’s system, doesn’t that mean they’ll be very mellow and fall asleep, rather than that they’ll jump up and dance?

    Jeff is a drug poser, Jeff is a drug poser, neener neener!

  19. IWood says:

    Seems like somebody just discovered the Innernets!  And there’s people on them, reading! Lately, I’ve been getting e-mails from a Holocaust “revisionist” who seems to think that, because I occasionally write about the Middle East and Judaeo-Christian topics, I ought to read his book.  Mmmm…flaky!

    Anyway: that fucker dances or I’m having me some sweet ‘dillomeat fondue forthwith.

  20. MC says:

    OMG, you turned the little guy into a bowling ball in two short paragraphs.

    Oh, the ‘dillonity…

  21. RTO Trainer says:

    I was going to call you an imposter and then I saw the Grampa rant.

    WTF?

  22. I hear in Texas they eat armadillo instead of turkey for Thanksgiving.

    Is this true?

    not just no, but, hell no!

    BECAUSE OF THE LEPROSY!!!!!!!

  23. MayBee says:

    This is so weird!

    I was all ready to post something REALLY IMPORTANT on this thread, then I scroll down and find Grampa already wrote exactly what I was thinking.

    Life sure is crazy sometimes.

  24. noah says:

    Einstein: ‘God doesn’t play dice’

    Me: God is dice.

    Proof: If God exists the He knows everything…past, present, and future. Hence the many worlds hypothesis is kaput…there is only one thread of existence since God knows it. So God thru his knowing controls quantum mechanics and that mystery is kaput.

    The only remaining mystery is whether God can control his own knowing. If he can…voila…intelligent design. If not…godless evolution!

    And you thought grandpa was nuts!

  25. richard mcenroe says:

    Robert — This is the Afterschool Special version of Jeff.  It’s being written by a aging hack screenwriter who’s just pounding it out for the two-buck-chuck money, Accuracy’s out the window…

  26. ahem says:

    Gotta hand it to old Grandpa. He still has a few hits of blotter acid left in his stash. Feel like sharing?

    tw: contact. I can’t remember the last time I got a contact high.

  27. ahem says:

    Oh, and if you need someone to drive you to the hospital, lemme know…

  28. IWood says:

    Ha!  The Dillo Eaters laugh at leprosy.  Scoff at scurvy. Cachinnate at cholera!

    Snicker…uh…effusively at ebola!

  29. speaking of the dillo, was that his old man i just saw with chuck norris? (rto made me watch Invasion USA)

  30. Juliette says:

    Grandpa spammed me with the exact same message about three times.

  31. richard mcenroe says:

    “Bolivia’s finest?” Llama wool?

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