“Oooh. Peanut butter!” squeaked Timmy the curious mouse, poking his curious little mouse head into the springloaded trap’s airy and inviting opening. “Gosh, I sure do love me some pea –”
SNAP!
~finis~
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
What’s the moral there, Aesop?
“Don’t eat peanut butter”?
Enticing unlawful combatants with hummus is entrapment?
– Yet another blatent example of chemical warfare by the McChimpyBush led NeoCONfascist warmongers. I’ll tell you what…. PETA gets wind of this Skippy will be out of business…
Timmy! Don’t do it Timmy! Oh, Beelzebub, there’s brains all over the peanut butter…
And you got peanut butter all over my brains!
Mmmm-mmmmm, good!
Q: What was the last thing to cross poor Timmy’s mind?
A: A speeding rod of cold-rolled 12-gauge steel.
Damn you Goldstein!
If we could employ more of these cute little rodents they wouldn’t find it necessary to steal. John Kerry has a plan where…
Remember how the Rskies used to send mice up into space? Yeah? Right, well now, they’re planning to send Helen Mirren!
What kind of evil plot for cynical world domination could be at hand, I wonder??
Beats me,
xxx
Roberta
Word verification test: consider
Aaaaaah, this is a doooodle!
How odd. This same story plays itself out almost weekly in my basement, yet the principal character’s name is typically “Eric”.
What’s the significance of this story?
Why do we see Timmy eating peanut butter and not cheese like every other mouse we’ve come to know in Western literature? What’s the purpose behind the symbolism used here by the author?
On a more personal level, what feelings do we have about Timmy? What feelings do we have about his death? Are we sure he’s even dead? How do we know that? Assuming he is dead, how does this merge with our own feelings about our own mortality? What’s the author trying to evoke from the reader?
Right – 6 pages, double-spaced, with 1-inch margins on my desk by Tuesday. And remember; citations are a must and quotations longer than 5 lines will be further indented and single-spaced.
Questions?
Thus saving the poor creature from potentially ingesting aflatoxin contaminated peanut butter and dying a horrible death. I see a future in government here.
Jeffy continues to mock and ridicule the pain and injuries of others. Yikes!
I guess this closes the door on a sequel, huh?
There’s an allegory here, where the trap represents Pajamas Media, and the Timmy the Curious Mouse is the SPIRIT OF BLOGGING.
FILTY MOUSHAWK!
No, Bill. The trap represents the Student Loan Marketing Association, and Timmy the Curious Mouse represents my soul.
What’s the moral there, Aesop?
The moral is:
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the peanut butter.
We had a different morality play in our house on Thanksgiving. While I was preparing the turkey, the cat was busily munching on a mouse.
She didn’t make any gravy though.
Stupid cat.
Roberta—That plan’s been in the works for years, but they hadda wait a couple decades. They couldn’t send the hot Helen Mirren from Excalibur or the planet woulda bin overrun with lust crazed aliens long ago…
Other suggestions:
Howard the Duck and the DNC Chairmanship of Doom
Teddy the Sponge and the Oldsmobile of Doom
Frist, the Erstwhile Presidential Candidate and the War Resolution of Doom
Kerry the Douchebag and the Swift Boats of Doom
I could go on…
And the mousetrap just “happen” to be there with all it’s parts in perfect working order?
I thought not.
I think PETA is ok with Timmy’s demise. Whacking the little dude is ok. Finding some useful purpose for him would be the crime.
As far as the deep meanings in this little fable. I see all kinds of sexual symbolism here. But I can’t discuss it, because my shrink says I’m maxed out on my meds as it is.
Timmy is an obvious symbol of Tookie Williams, seduced by the oppressive, racist environment of his childhood (peanut butter>peanuts>south>South Central>Crips). Regardless of Timmy/Tookie’s fearful reputation as vermin/gangbanger, his genuine soul is expressed in the use of a word of innocence – “gosh”. But The Man cuts Timmy/Tookie short, forever robbing the world of a chance to show his warm and fuzzy side as a teacher to children.
Goldstein, you fascist! Wait until Mike Farrell reads this story!
Did you even try to consider the ratling’s legitimate grievances or the origins of his rage in a world where 1% of the population controls 99% of the peanut butter? You’re just blaming the victim and punishing him for your own greed!
Don’t think a similar fate wouldn’t await Farrell. I’ll just make the trap bigger and replace the peanut butter with a sign that says “socialist utopia here”.
Snapping his mouse neck, But leaving HIS FUR SUIT INTACT.
“You smell that? Do you smell that? … Peanutbutter, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of peanutbutter in the morning. You know, one time, for twelve hours we worked to push a jar of peanutbutter off the kitchen counter. When it was all over I walked up. We ate peanutbutter till we could only waddle back to our nest. The smell, you know that peanutbutter smell, the whole nest. Smelled like … peanutbutter. Someday we’ll break another jar …”
(With apologies to Lt. Col. Kilgore)
Chapter 2: The trap is reloaded.
I question the timing.
Spamword, “time.” Yup.
Jeff, I got a couple of Timmy’s over here you could work on.
er, Richie M?
2 words:
Donald.
Rumsfeld.
(Rummy’s hung like a shire horse on Rogaine, apparently….and I always thought that Excaliber thing was a euphemism…..)
xxx
Roberta
The Robert Swipe Show is really funny (but – and this is much more important – it’s very cheap!)
p.s. could anyone recommend a good agent I could hire?
wrod vecrfictaiaon: quality
piece of psis!
…can I rephrase that?
Does anyone know a good agent I could borrow?
xxx
Roberta Swipe
Word verification test: turned
Aesy paesy!!
An agent, Roberta? When your self-promotion efforts are going so well?
Vermin extinction, do I see perhaps a hint of irony on the willy pete issue. An IED would be just as effective though not quite so selective.
TW “foot” if the mouse only got nailed in the foot, would a trap be considered cruel and unusual. Jeff you gotta quit with the hard questions.
I had a mouse get both hind feet caught in a trap and then try to crawl back under the stove. He made a terrible racket squealing and clanking for about one minute, until he tried to crawl over another trap which was in the way. That instantly put him out of his misery. I caught 28 mice in one week in that apartment, 11 of them in only one day, using only four traps. That probably explains why I was getting mail for six different previous residents. I wonder if the landlord kept all their security deposits when they (presumably) moved out early.
Yeah–Roberta, please give it a rest.
Tim – tim – TIMMEH!!
Peanut butter is teh mouse trap food, I tells ya.
tw: serious Well sure! About the trap bait, that is.
Thank God—no more Stuart Little sequels.
Or maybe, “Stuart and his mouse commandos invade the house later only to find there isn’t a mousetrap in the place. Stuart is impeached for lying to the Mouse Congress.”
Because THERE WERE NO WMDs*!!!
*Weapons of Mouse Decapitation
If I were even a BIT more self-centered…I’d still wonder what the hell this was all about.
Jeff, when were you in my garage? You seem to have recorded events that transpired in there last week. Hmmm. Time to change the access code…
Taken from Attila Girl’s personal weblog:
That’s irony, right? I didn’t think you guys got that….
Robin: I’m sensing issues here. Was it the “Holy Moly” thing? If it’s any consolation, my parents used to make me dress up in a Batman costume! Still, it didn’t do me any harm….
xxx
Roberta
Yes, I do.
No, you can’t.
Your blog is aggressively unfunny (the whole kooky gender-confusion thing? Really unfunny!), and I suspect you are, too.
Cheers.
xxx
Thanks for the feedbakc Phinn. I’m pleased you took the time to look at Tthe blog altough I’m very sorry you found it aggressively unfunny.
I just wanted to clear up one area of confusion in your critique:
I wasn’t sure if you meant that you suspect that I am Really unfunny or that I am kooky and gender confused? Just to clarify things, I am actually all three – Unfunny, gender-confused and (perhaps a little) kooky. But then, that’s just the way God made me…
Do you have a blog yourself phinn? I’d like to have a look at it if you do – there’s obviously a lot of room for improvement on mine!
Thanks again,
xxx
Roberta
Anyone alarmed at the frankness of the comments above from phinn? Well, don’t be. He’s just your usual spammer, trying to flog you web space:
Can I just say that people like that who are using this space just to whore themselves, their business or their funniest weblog in Rothergavenny-style satirical sites, such as The Robert Swipe Show really should be ashamed of themselves!
(At least you get the odd laugh from me…. mind you, some of phinn’s graphics are pretty shocking, aren’t they?….)
xxx
Roberta
I had just finished taking Timmy’s cousin Tommy to the trash when I read the story…even the Cali mousies love them some peanut butter( we just have to use vegan all natural organic).
MOUSETORTURER!!!
After perusing the comments from the latest newcomer, I find myself missing Dr. Macaroni de la Virgo.
The little bastard still owes me five bucks.
I wish I would’ve thought of this angle during my mouse experiences. Instead, I simply posted about offing four of the little ingrates, one at a time. The first kill was the hardest, but it got steadily easier, until now I’m immune to the suffering of critters. Thank you, Victor, and thank you, Reese’s peanut butter cups.
is it possible that anyone could be bored enough to write this much about such a rubbish story when there are such good ones out there?
And yet here YOU are, posting a comment.
Maybe you should find a good story about situational irony, “literate”…